Chapter 3 #2
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I heard that part. So exactly what is the plan? You haven’t said anything past that.”
“So, Parker needs to become your best friend.” She leaned forward expectantly, waiting for me to respond. I stared back at her, waiting for her to say something else. Only she didn’t continue talking.
“Parker needs to become my best friend?” I repeated after her, confused. “Just exactly how does that happen?”
“That’s where the plan comes into place.” She grinned at him. “Essentially, you worm your way into his life. Get closer and closer to him as friends. You’re going to friend zone him.”
“Eh, why would I friend zone him if I actually want him?”
“Because guys always want someone they can’t have.
” She nodded, her mind obviously working overtime.
“And, well, guys don’t respect friend zones.
He’s not going to be like, ‘Oh, I’m in the friend zone, I will never try and hit on her.
’ He’s going to be like, ‘Shit, this girl is hot, I want her, who cares about the friend zone?’”
“Um, I don’t know about that. Aren’t I already in the friend zone? Isn’t it pretty obvious that I’ve been interested in him for a long time? And he certainly hasn’t disrespected any of my boundaries yet.”
“Yeah, he probably knows you’ve been interested in him for some amount of time, or were interested at one time, but guess what, it’s easy to get out of that.
Guys don’t overanalyze like we do. All you need is to have another guy around, someone else interested in you.
Throw it in his face, not overtly, but maybe you can ask him for guy advice, relationship advice sort of stuff.
That way you show him you’re over him and into other guys and he’s the one who’s now friend zoned. ”
“But that’s not true.” I frowned. “And where am I getting these other guys from? It’s not like they’re swarming around me.”
“You join some online dating sites.Plus, we’ll go to bars.”
“Ryker will be cool with that?” I asked her with a raised eyebrow.
Ryker was a confident, cocky man, but he was always jealous when Mila was around other men.
I couldn’t see him being happy with her going out with me to pick up other men.
“Also, are you going to tell Ryker that this is a game for me, meeting these other guys? That I’m trying to make Parker jealous?
What if Ryker tells Parker? How embarrassing would that be? ”
“I’m not going to tell Ryker.” She shook her head. “At least not now. I don’t think he would tell Parker, though.” Mila looked thoughtful. “I’ll just tell him that you want to meet some new guys and need a friend with you.”
“Yeah, he might not tell him on purpose, but what if something slipped out, like, ‘Damn, that Lara is really into you, she’s playing all these games to get to you.’”
“Ryker would never let something like that slip.” Mila shook her head and laughed.
“That wouldn’t be an innocent slip. And I’m not going to tell him it’s all a game.
Not at first, anyway. But I will eventually, since Ryker is my fiancé and I don’t want to lie to him.
Plus, he’s a good guy. You can trust him. ”
“Yeah, well, Ryker’s not really an innocent, is he?” I raised an eyebrow at her. “I mean, before you guys got together, he was a jackass to both of us.” I laughed. “He was always making fun of us. And this is something I can imagine him making fun of me for.”
“That’s just his way.” Mila looked at me with a small, loving smile, though I knew she was thinking of Ryker’s ways much more affectionately now than I was. I didn’t love him.
“Exactly.” I gave her a pointed look. “That’s his way.
He’s not just going to stop doing it. Yeah, maybe he’s going to stop teasing you because he loves you and he wants to marry you and keep having sex with you.
” I laughed at the look on her face. “But nothing has changed with me. He’s still going to keep teasing me.
And if I’m going to do this crazy plan and try and get Parker to be my BFF, then I’m not going to want to be worried that Ryker is going to let something slip and make me look like an idiot. ”
“So you’re entertaining the idea?” Mila said with a smile, ignoring my Ryker disses.
“Maybe. I don’t know.” I sighed. “It doesn’t seem like the worst idea. And then at least I’d get to spend time with him, so even if he didn’t fall in love with me, he’d still be in my life.” I took another sip of wine. “Oh God, I sound pathetic, don’t I?”
“Not pathetic. You just sound like someone who wants to be around the man you love.”
“I can’t really love him though, can I?” I groaned and placed the glass of wine down on the table in front of me.
“This is just sad. I’m in love with a guy who sees me only as his sister’s best friend, and now I’m trying to become his best friend so I can be closer to him, so that I can hopefully make him jealous and get him to fall in love with me. ”
“We can’t help who we love.” Mila shrugged.
“That’s why I got into the fake engagement with Ryker.
I just wanted to spend time with him. I mean, that wasn’t the best situation for me in any way.
I thought my heart was going to be ripped out of my chest. I thought my soul was going to leave my body forever. ”
“Yeah, but it worked out for you.” I gave her a weak smile.
“And, well, Ryker at least was eager to sleep with you. Parker has never given me any real indication that he’s interested in anything with me.
No dating, no kissing, no bending me over a bed and taking me.
He’s not given me any indication for anything. And I know he’s not asexual.”
“Would you be happy if he tried to make a move, like he did with Barbie?” Mila said softly. “Honestly, how would you have felt? What if he basically had a one-night stand with you and then never spoke to you again?”
“Well, I’d feel like shit, but at least I’d know that he’d been attracted to me once.” I gave her a wry smile.
“Sex isn’t even always about attraction,” Mila said. “Plus, Parker’s an idiot—one of those guys who gets drunk enough and sleeps with anyone.”
“Well, Barbie wasn’t exactly ugly,” I said as I thought about the girl Parker had slept with a few months ago at Mila’s lake house.
My heart had ripped in two when I realized they’d hooked up.
Barbie was beautiful—one of those girls that every girl is jealous of.
She made me feel so insecure, with her perfect body and perfect looks.
And the fact that her personality was awful had only made things worse because it made me realize that personality really accounted for nothing.
She’d been the biggest bitch, yet that hadn’t stopped Parker from hooking up with her the first chance he got.
I didn’t even care that he’d been drunk.
In fact, part of me wanted to write him off completely.
He obviously had no feelings for me, if he was able to do that. Absolutely no feelings at all.
The emptiness that resounded through my body made me feel so hopeless and lost. All I could think was What’s the point?
What was the point of allowing myself to dream of him when there was never going to be anything between us?
If I didn’t even matter to him one iota.
But the hope in me wouldn’t die, especially after Mila and Ryker got together.
I figured maybe I had a chance. Maybe Parker would one day wake up and think to himself, Oh shit, look, here’s Lara.
She’s been here all along. I love her more than anything in my life.
I want her so bad. I need to be with her.
She’s my soulmate. The love of my life. How can I live without her?
It was a long shot, but it was worth a try.
I sighed loudly as I looked at Mila. Her eyes crinkled as she stared at me, and she gave me a half smile.
“You okay?” She reached over and patted my hand.
“Not really,” I said and took a deep breath.
“How can I be okay when I don’t even know if I’m coming or going?
How can I be okay when I don’t know if the sun is even shining?
How can I be okay when all I think about is him, day and night?
Even my dreams are pervaded with him. He’s on my mind all the time.
He distracts me at the gym, when I’m reading a book, when I’m watching TV.
He distracts me right now and I’m talking about him.
I don’t know what to do, Mila. I think I’m going crazy.
I know I’m obsessed. I know this isn’t healthy.
I just don’t know what I should do. Should I just give up?
Should I go to a mental asylum? Should I seek professional help? ”
“Lara.” Mila started laughing. “You don’t need to go to a mental asylum. You’re not crazy. I know how you feel, though. I was there with Ryker. It’s hard to know when to give up. But you have to ask yourself one question.”
“What’s that?” I said, slightly annoyed she was laughing, but understanding how dramatic I sounded.
“Do you want to be with him?”
“That’s a stupid question.” I rolled my eyes at her. “Of course I want to be with him.”
“No, I mean, is that the most important thing in your life? Do you think you’re meant to be with him?
Do you want to be with him for the rest of your life?
Do you think he’s perfect? Do you see him as your soulmate?
Forget your emotions. The love in your heart.
Forget the years you’ve been wanting him.
Forget everything you think you know. Now clear your brain.
Think of him. Just Parker. As a person. Forget his looks.
Think about how he treats you. How he treats me.
Think about what he does for a living. His interests.
If he loves dogs, kids, how he treats elderly people, the foods he likes to eat, the jokes he makes.
Think about the good and the bad. Can you deal with that? Is he the man you want?”