Chapter 11
Parker
“So then they asked me if I wanted to be lead, and of course I said yes.” Louisa batted her long fake eyelashes at me and I smiled and nodded as she continued to talk about her dance roles.
“I’m also very flexible.” Louisa’s voice interrupted my thoughts and I looked up at her as she smiled at me in a sexy way with her bright red, vixen lips.
“Oh, really?” I nodded at her and tried to show enthusiasm at her obvious flirting. Louisa was beautiful and fit, probably better looking than her online photos, but I just couldn’t seem to drum up excitement about our date.
“Flexible is good,” I said eventually. “I’m not so flexible.”
“Only one of us needs to be.” She giggled. “I’m flexible enough for both of us.”
“Good to know.” I smiled at her and watched as her bright red fingernails tapped across the tabletop.
“Would you like to get another glass of wine?” I asked her, though I really didn’t care if she said yes or no.
I wanted to text Lara and see if she wanted to watch a movie or something, but I knew that would be a mistake.
I didn’t want to lead her on or take advantage of her.
And it irritated me that I was thinking of her while on this date with Louisa.
“Sure,” she said and leaned toward me. “We can have another glass here and then maybe head back to my place.”
“Sure,” I said with a grin. I still had it! “Waiter,” I said, calling him over. “A glass of Zinfandel and a Blue Moon, please.”
“Yes, sir.” He nodded and walked away.
“So tell me more about you, Louisa. Any surprising stories?”
“Hmm, naughty or nice?” she said with a wink, and I knew in that instant she was mine for the taking if I wanted her.
Which I wasn’t quite sure I did. And frankly, this annoyed me.
She was a beautiful girl and I never said no to a beautiful woman.
I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and immediately my mind went to Lara.
Was she texting me? I looked up and saw that Louisa was still talking to me, but all I could think about was the text.
I knew that the probability of the text being from Lara was slim, but I wondered if she was thinking of me at the same time that I was thinking of her.
“Excuse me a second,” I apologized to Louisa and I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. “I’m expecting an important message and I just need to check my phone. I hope you don’t think I’m being horribly rude.”
“Go ahead.” Louisa nodded and batted her eyelashes again.
“Thanks.” I grabbed my phone quickly from my pocket and checked the screen. I felt disappointed when I saw that the text was from my friend, John. I didn’t even bother opening the full message before turning my phone off and putting it back in my pocket. “Sorry about that.”
“Was it the message you were waiting on?” Louisa asked me curiously, and I shook my head.
“It can wait,” I said and leaned forward. “I don’t want to be rude.” I grabbed her hand and smiled at her, giving her my lopsided grin that seemed to make women swoon.
“Oh, no worries.” She shrugged. “At least neither one of us had to pull the ‘my friend just had a heart attack and I have to leave’ stunt.”
“What stunt is that?” I asked her, not sure what she was talking about.
“How many people have you met online?” she asked with a laugh. “So many guys and girls have fake or old photos or completely lie about themselves. I’ve had so many deaths and heart attacks occur on dates that I’m scared someone I know really will die.”
“So a lot of bad dates, then?”
“You’re the best one yet,” she said, and her fingers squeezed mine. “When I saw you walk in, I thought I’d won the lottery.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, you’re the hottest guy I’ve ever met online.” She laughed. “Though I don’t know that I should be telling you that.”
“Aww, you can tell me anything you want,” I said with a smile, though I was already regretting having held her hand.
Her fingers felt clammy against mine, and I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about Lara and how soft and warm and silky her hands had felt against mine.
I was driving myself crazy, or at least I had been since that night.
Everything felt awkward since then. I’d woken up the next morning and Lara had been gone.
I’d felt empty inside when I realized she’d just left without saying goodbye, but I had thought everything would still be okay.
But then she hadn’t called or texted. At all.
And that wasn’t like Lara. She usually texted me several times a day with random questions and comments.
It wasn’t even something I’d paid attention to, until the texts had stopped.
And now . . . well, now I wanted to know why she’d stopped.
And I knew I hadn’t made it better when I’d called her for advice for my date.
I’d heard the shock in her voice when she’d responded to my question, the pause when she said, “You’re going on a date and you want my help?
” I knew it had been a dumb move, but I’d just wanted to talk to her and show her that everything was still cool.
We were still friends. I still valued her opinion.
Just because we’d almost had sex didn’t mean anything had to change.
I didn’t want anything to change, but I felt like it already had.
“I’m not the sort of girl who has one-night stands,” Louisa said, and her words broke me out of my reverie. I looked up at her and saw the shy, demure look on her face, and part of me wondered if this was an act.
“Good for you. I can’t say the same.” I laughed casually, my words being an understatement.
I’d had far too many one-night stands, but really, what guy hadn’t?
I enjoyed sex, and to me, that enjoyment was enough.
It didn’t mean anything to me and I was pretty sure most women understood that.
Though once again that made me think of Lara.
Why hadn’t I just slept with her? Any other woman and I wouldn’t even have thought about stopping.
But then, I’d never looked at another woman and felt the same depth of feelings as I had for Lara that night.
Though, I suppose that was because she’d been in my life so long and was now one of my closest friends.
I didn’t want to overstep that line, that boundary that might somehow cheapen our friendship.
“I guess a guy as good-looking as you can have his pick of women,” Louisa said, continuing to butter me up, and I wondered why she was laying it on so strong. She was a beautiful woman, so she certainly didn’t need to be going after me this much.
“Well, I can’t complain.” I shrugged.
“So what are you looking for?” she continued, and her eyes searched mine desperately. I was starting to feel like perhaps the reason why she was on the dating sites was more due to her intensity than anything else.
“Not really sure. More something casual,” I said slowly. “I’m not really sure what I’m looking for right now.”
“Hmm, I see.” Louisa pulled her hand back from me and frowned. “I’m looking for a husband.”
“Okay, then.” I nodded at her and I could feel my stomach churning. This was so not a match. “I can honestly say I’m not ready for marriage yet.” I gave her an apologetic smile.
“But maybe in the future?” she asked hopefully.
“I guess?” I shrugged, starting to feel like the conversation had taken a dangerous turn.
Especially for a first date. Didn’t she know these weren’t the conversations to be having with men?
I almost felt like laughing. Lara would think it was hilarious when I told her what had gone down on this date, I thought to myself, and then I paused.
I couldn’t really call Lara and tell her anything.
I wasn’t sure she’d appreciate me calling to tell her about my bad date, though I knew she’d get a kick out of it.
“Look, I’m going to be honest,” Louisa continued. “I’m looking for a husband. I’m not getting any younger, and I want kids, but I think you’re hot. And it’s been a while, so I’m willing.”
“Uh, willing for what?” I asked her curiously.
“Willing to see where this goes.”
“Where what goes?” I asked dumbly. Was she serious?
“I’m willing to go home with you tonight,” she purred. “I’ve got an itch I think you can scratch.”
“Oooh,” I said with a grin. “I see.”
“And I’m sure you have one I can scratch as well.
” I felt her hand under the table, rubbing my thigh and running its way up toward my crotch.
I felt nothing at her touch, and for a few brief seconds I felt sad.
I wished I weren’t even here. I wasn’t having fun.
I didn’t want to be with her. I wanted to be hanging out with Lara.
And I’d love for her to be rubbing me right now.
I sighed as she crossed my mind again. This was getting totally ridiculous.
I didn’t know why I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and then I bet it was because I hadn’t fucked her.
I thought if I’d only slept with her, she’d be gone from my mind. I wanted to slap myself.
“I’m okay,” I said and jumped up. “Hey, I have to go to the restroom. I’ll be right back.
” I walked away from the table quickly, my head feeling heavy and confused as I went to pee.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I knew I had to fix it fast. Maybe sleeping with Louisa was what I needed to help me stop thinking about Lara.
I knew it would be a risk, since Louisa seemed all sorts of psycho and was likely to go all stalker on me, but I’d handled stalkers before.
All you had to do was ignore them. They went even crazier at first, but then they finally got the hint.
Especially if you told them you’d get a restraining order or something.