Chapter 10
Chapter
Ten
Joel
I ’m sitting in my front garden with Milo, working on current designs on my laptop for Miss Anderson. The sun is the warmest it’s been since last summer, and the fields overhead are slowly changing in colour, filling the valley with pure, rich greens.
I’m currently on my fourth redesign, and this one is my favourite. The glass and dark wood style house are both classic and chic, providing the right amount of light in all the right places I know Miss Anderson is sure to like. The bathroom is fit for a queen, and I’ve even thrown in a walk-in closet for her thousands of shoes she’ll no doubt have. It’s perfect, and if she turns this one down, I might just tell her to fuck off and have it for myself.
I’d always known I wanted to head down the creative road when it came to a career, I’d liked construction and had been constantly building shit with wood and stones when I was a boy, but something had been missing. It wasn’t until I’d shown Edith my drawings—my visions for redesigns of derelict houses—that everything changed. Her expression had been priceless, beaming with pride and she’d jumped with oodles of excitement for me. It was Edie who had sat down with me as we talked about the endless possibilities regarding where my drawings could take me, and thankfully my grades were heading in the direction I needed to gain a degree. And it all started from there. I designed my webpage, she designed my logo and from that point on, I’ve never looked back.
I’m brought out of my daydream from a thud on my shoulder, just before a football with dinosaurs on bounces onto the table. Stopping the ball before it rolls away, I pick it up and turn around, knowing who the culprit is. Milo is now awake with his tail wagging but not attempting to move until I tell him he can. He’s always been so good around kids.
I don’t hide my grin when I find Teddy standing in my drive, giggling into his hands. He’s in a black T-shirt, red shorts and green wellington boots with eyes on the front and white dinosaur spikes down the back.
Playing my own game, I look up and down my garden as if I’m trying to find the person behind the act before looking at him. “Erm. Did you see who threw this ball at me?”
“Yes!” His face is a picture as he points up the road, playing the role of being just as shocked as I am. “He went that way.”
“He did, huh? He must have been super fast.”
“Maybe he eated all his green beans. Grandpa said that green beans make you super fast.”
“Grandpa must have been right because I’ve no idea who it was.”
He grabs the hem of his T-shirt, twisting it over his hand and rising it up to flash his tummy with a wicked grin on his face.
Sitting forward, I point at him. “Or maybe it was a little scamp called Ted.”
He chuckles again. “We will never know.”
“Come here,” I order, placing the ball between my feet. He runs over and throws his arms around me for a big hug.
Holding him tight, I bury my face into the curve of his neck, right before I blow a raspberry, which has his deep belly giggle erupting.
“Where is your dad?” I ask, knowing my brother isn’t too far away as he wouldn’t have let him walk up here on his own.
“He’s on his way. He’s stopped to talk to Mr Robertson. He’s got the afternoon off and wants a beer with you.”
I raise a brow. “He does, huh?”
“Yeah. I think he’s forgotten he lives in a pub.”
I laugh, placing him up on the bench, Milo now lapping up the attention from Teddy as he strokes him down.
“How was school today?”
“Awesome.” He smiles. “We learned about pond life.”
“Frogs and Tadpoles?”
He nods before his chestnut eyes light up. “Did you know their tails fall off?”
“Tadpoles?”
“Yep. They just drop right off. Like boom!” He claps his hands for dramatic effect, and I chuckle.
“I don’t think it’s quite like that, scamp but it’s still pretty cool. What else did you do? Who’d you play with at lunchtime?”
“Rihanna.”
“Rihanna, hey?”
“She’s my best friend. She has pretty hair.”
“Oh yeah? Did you kiss her?” I tease.
His eyes widen and another giggle erupts from him. “No! That’s just gross.”
I laugh, ruffling his mop of blond hair.
Milo catches my attention as he heads towards the gates, Daniel now coming up the drive and greeting him when they make contact.
Anguish grips my chest as I watch Milo. My boy is getting old and the implications of that don’t rest well with me. There was once a time he would bound towards my brother full of excitement and jump up on his hind legs for cuddles. Now he’s a lot slower, at times struggling to climb the stairs, and is less interested in things than he once was.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, bud. Did you ask Uncle Fitz if it was okay to come up for a while?”
“No, he didn’t but you’re fine. He just said you needed a beer and that you seem to have forgotten you live in a pub. ”
“Ted, dude. We don’t live in a pub. We own a pub and live in an apartment above it.”
“Still has beer, Dad.” Teddy shrugs, right before Daniel kicks the ball for him and tells him to go and play. Milo, now the protector, strolls down to the end of the garden to be with my nephew.
“God help me when the little bugger is a teenager,” my brother sighs.
“Wait until the day he comes home and tells you he got a girl pregnant.”
Daniel's eyes widen in horror. “Fuck that. I forbid him from ever having sex.”
I chuckle. “Good luck with that. Beer?”
“Please.”
I head into the house to grab two beers and a juice. When I head back out, Daniel is looking at my work.
“Are these the designs for Miss Moneypenny?”
“Yeah. It’s just a few ideas I had in mind.”
“Joel, these are amazing.”
“Thanks.” I hand him his beer and shout to Teddy that he has some juice waiting when he’s ready. He’s currently rolling around the grass and trying to encourage Milo to do the same. “I just hope she likes them. I don’t know what I’m going to do if she doesn’t. I feel like I’m off my game when it comes to her. Or maybe I have been for a while. I don’t know. ”
“Dude. With designs like these, you are not off your game.”
“I know they are good, I love them, but I just feel like I’m missing something when dealing with clients, and I can’t work out what. It’s like I want the work, but the meetings piss me off or I have no interest in them.” I sigh. It’s a feeling I’ve not been able to shake off for some time now. “If I could do the designs, get the pay and never have to communicate with anyone in between that would suit me just fine. But I can’t.”
“You’ve been through a lot. Stop putting yourself down.”
He’s right. I have been through more than most, and it goes beyond the death of my wife.
“I just don’t feel like myself anymore but don’t know how to get out of this slump. I hated the idea of going out with you guys the other night, yet it was the best thing I’d done in ages. Now, I’m right back to square one. How do I keep that feeling?”
“From what I witnessed it’s not about how you keep it: it’s about who you have it with.” I look at him, not wanting to say anything because I can see from his eyes where he is going with this. But what comes out of his mouth next isn’t what I am expecting either.
“Why didn’t you offer to go with Edith to her dad’s party?”
“Why didn’t you?” I shoot back, surprised he’s waited this long to call me out on it.
“I know she wouldn’t want to go with me. And don’t answer my question with a question.”
I sigh. “Because I said I needed space from the family gatherings. Especially from Lorna.”
“Is that the real reason, or is it because of what that would mean for you personally because you’d be going with Edith?”
“Meaning?”
“I believe you still have feelings for her.”
My jaw clenches and I grit out my words, only I don’t know who I’m trying to convince because we both know it’s a lie. “Any feelings I had for Edith were buried when I started dating Sophia.”
“Were they though? Because I’ve seen the way you look at her and that tells me enough.” He pauses. “All I’m saying is if you want Edith then go for it.”
I turn my head to the side, watching Teddy and Milo playing with the ball. I try to swallow the feelings that have just invaded, but it’s a waste of time. My brother has flipped the cap on that bottle, and it’s exploded. As the years had gone on and my marriage had started to fray, I began to realise that my feelings for Edith never truly died and that left me more torn than ever .
When I’d looked into Edith’s eyes, I’d seen a life I’d desperately wanted but didn't know how to grasp. She was—and still is—my saving grace, and I’m terrified of losing her. But I can’t ignore this expanding feeling inside either.
“Yoo-hoo. Joel!”
My brother and I look towards the female voice that is coming from my double gates, and if I think my day can’t get any worse, I’m wrong. It’s about to.
Fucking Lorna.
“Jesus, Christ,” I groan. Milo barks as he dances in front of Teddy, protecting him. He’s never liked her. “This is all I need.”
“What does she want?” my brother asks.
“No idea. I’ve not seen her in weeks.” Not that she hasn’t tried to make contact. She’s left a few voicemails about how I’m missed and how Sophia wouldn’t want us to be estranged.
“Do you want us to go?”
“No. Having you here will hopefully get rid of her quicker.”
Lorna strides up the drive in an ivory dress, her posture as sharp as ever as she holds her head up high. Her curt, overbearing behaviour has always been the same, and many times throughout my relationship with Sophia we’d clashed. However, like the changing winds, she’d be all over me like a rash I could never get rid of. Part of me had wanted us to be close after the accident. Part of me had thought I needed her to help keep my wife’s memory alive because I felt nothing but guilt. But Lorna’s interpretation of keeping her alive was not the way I wanted. For a grieving mother, she never seems to show her emotions either.
“Lorna. What can I do for you?”
“Joel, darling. It’s so good to see you. Are you well? Do you need anything?” she says, completely ignoring Daniel.
“I’m fine. Thank you.”
“Sophia wouldn’t have liked the distance between us. I miss my boy.”
Her words make me cringe. “I’ve been busy.”
“How’s work? Gerald mentioned having something that might be ideal for you. You should come around for dinner to discuss business.”
“I can’t,” I shoot back. “I’m rammed with projects.”
“You haven’t been to dinner in a long time.” Her voice is harder now, and I can tell my words have chipped away and offended her. I don’t respond with anything. I can’t because if I open my mouth, I’ll never stop.
Excusing himself, Daniel makes his escape and heads towards Teddy, Milo still pacing around the garden with a low growl at Lorna’s presence.
“Why are you here, Lorna?” I question.
Her eyes widen with pleasure as she places her tan leather bag on top of the table in front of her. Opening it, she pulls out a cream and gold envelope and hands it to me. “I wanted to give you this personally. It’s the invitation to Gerald’s retirement party. It’s going to be one hell of a night.”
I don’t intend on opening it because I have no desire to go, but before I can stop myself, my fingers are tearing open the thick paper and pulling out the card.
The invitation itself matches the envelope and I read the words, my eyes scanning over the date, a fire of fury to rise in my chest.
Mr Joel Fitzpatrick.
You are cordially invited to celebrate the retirement of Gerald Kennedy.
Dress code: Black tie event.
At Hotel Rendezvous – Skipton, N Yorkshire.
Time: 8pm sharp
On: May 15th.
RSVP
Lorna Kennedy 07834817739 3
"It’s the same day as Edith's birthday. What a coincidence."
“I do hope you will be attending, Joel. I have a few surprises up my sleeve.”
The thought of that makes me nervous, and as I look at the card that’s still between my fingers, I realise something else doesn’t add up.
“It doesn’t mention a plus one.”
“I’m sorry?”
I look up at her, making sure she hears me loud and clear this time. “Edith said she needed a plus one and it doesn’t mention one on my invite. Why?”
“Well, you don’t need one. You belong to Sophia.”
“Sophia is not here,” I grit.
“She is everywhere you look, Joel. You’re her husband.”
That time in the Craven, Edith had looked so disheartened about needing someone to go with. This is making me question everything all over again. Why had she been so discouraged?
“You never answered my question about Edith.”
She flicks her hand as if to wave off my comment. “You don’t need to worry about her, Joel. She says she has a date—which does surprise me. I just hope she is right. It would be a shame to have to turn her away.”
I frown. “I don’t understand? ”
“No date. No entry. Edith knows what is required.” She smiles, but I can see right through her.
So, I’m okay because I’m the husband to her dead daughter, but Edith needs someone to go with to her own father’s party? What a fucking bitch.
Anger tightens my chest, and it takes everything in me not to screw the card up in my fist. It’s not only the spiteful words leaving Lorna’s mouth that have irritated me but the fact Edith had failed to mention my mother-in-law’s number one fucking rule when it came to her.
Why hadn’t she told me? And who is this date of hers anyway?
An urgency to see Edith covers my body.
Lorna has done many things over the years, and pushing Edith out any way she can has been her only goal. I may not have wanted to go, but this now changes things. If it means me playing the doting widower just so Lorna can dance and fuss around me, and even if I know I will hate every fucking minute of it, I’m going to go to support Edith, even if she does have a date.