Chapter 13
Chapter
Thirteen
Edith
I can hear the heated words between Lorna and Joel as I stand talking with Lucy and Henry. The buzz I’d felt in my chest from the unexpected compliments and conversations soon pop when I see him storm out of the ballroom.
Making my excuses, I head out towards the patio area.
Finding him at the far end, leaning against the pillar and looking out across the canal, a part of me wants to rush to him—to make sure he is okay— while the other part of me just wants to stand watching him that little bit more.
He is ridiculously gorgeous in his tux, his solid body and full lips a temptation that reaches my core. Tracing my fingers over the bracelet, a warmth fills my heart. Joel hasn’t given me a birthday present since he first got with Sophia, and I could have cried and kissed him all at once when I opened the box.
Needing to be with him, I slowly walk over, letting my heart rate settle with each step.
“We never said our SOS signal was walking out without a word.” I smile.
Without warning, he grabs my wrist and pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug like he’s afraid to let go. I feel every curve of his body as I’m flush against him, my mind all over the place with feelings I can’t seem to control anymore.
“I’m sorry, Edie,” he whispers in my hair. “I didn’t mean to leave you.”
“What did she say to you?” I don’t know why I even ask because every topic of conversation with my stepmother revolves around the same thing. But I loathe the fact she’s made him feel this way.
“It doesn’t matter.”
Stepping back, I try to lighten the mood. “So, are you glad you came then? ”
His mouth tugs at the corners. “Oh, of course. Best night of my life.”
“You are such a liar.”
“I’m glad I’m here with you, though,” he confesses.
“Me too.”
“So, Lucy Knighton, huh?”
I grin like an idiot, still in complete shock after what’s just happened. “I know, right? I still can’t believe it. I love her work. I would love to see her set up in London, too.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you,”
“Everyone needs to know how amazing you are. Just you wait: one day, I will tell the world and everyone will agree with me.”
I raise a brow. “Oh really? Well good luck with getting the wicked witch of the west on side.”
He holds my stare, hurt shining in his eyes as he lets out a heavy breath. “I fucking hate the way she speaks to you, Edie. And I don’t understand how your dad let’s her get away with it. She can’t keep doing this.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. I don’t want to go down this road tonight, especially while I’m feeling secure in his arms. I don’t want anything to ruin this moment. “Let’s not talk about them anymore. You promised me a dance.”
“I did? I don’t think so,” he grins.
“The lies you’re telling tonight, Mr Fitzpatrick. A drink and a dance, remember?”
“I remember. I remember everything when it comes to you, Edith Kennedy.”
I step back from his hold when he pushes off the pillar. His eyes linger on my lips before they descend my body. Heat floods my core when he draws circles over the bare skin of my lower back, and I’m taken right back to our night out. Only this time I’m not drunk, and I can feel every part of him and every emotion within me as he holds me close swaying us both to the music: his touch, his warm breath against my skin, the racing of my heart and the deep, uncontrollable desire.
I feel it all.
I want it all.
I hold his heated stare, knowing I should break the spell between us and draw my eyes away, but I can’t. He’s slowly peeling back the layers of protection I have wrapped around my heart when it comes to him—the ones that hold the secrets to the feelings I have—and as much as I don’t want them shared, I can’t stop wanting them exposed either .
"Do you ever close your eyes and listen to what is around you yet picture yourself somewhere else?"he murmurs. "And at that moment nothing else matters because your heart is full?"
“All the time. They are the best dreams at times.”
“Close your eyes.” I do as he requests, taking myself to the place I’ve always gone to—the one where nothing else matters and no one gets hurt.
“Where are you?”
“I’m on a beach. It’s warm but the breeze is cool, and there's nothing but soft sand and waves crashing."
"Sounds like heaven. What are you doing?”
“I’m watching my toes sink into the sand before the water covers my feet.”
“Are you alone?"
“No,” I admit, following my words with a smile. "I’m with you. You're standing right beside me. Just like always."
He traces his hand up my back, cupping the nape of my neck as he whispers in my ear, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else either."
My stomach squeezes with his words, causing my eyes to flutter open to find his already on me. My breath catches when he trails the tip of his finger down the exposed skin of my chest, stopping between my breasts. My mouth parts, my chest rises and falling heavily with his intoxicating touch.
When his chocolate eyes fall to my lips, I silently beg him to press his against mine. Something is changing between us, and I fear it all the same.
“Do you ever think about it?” he whispers, flicking his eyes back to mine.
“What?”
“Our first kiss.”
If only he knew. It’s something that is frequently on my mind, more than I know it should be, but it’s something that hits me when I least expect it.
His eyes are telling me now that I’m not the only one who hasn’t forgotten that night.
“Yes,” I whisper, not able to stop my confession.
His fingertips move from my chest, and he reaches up, dusting them over my lips as his liquid gaze follows his moves. “Edie… I want to kiss you,” his breathless words cover my skin. My heart pounds in my chest, and it feels like he’s stolen all the air from my lungs.
I want him but I can’t have him.
I need him but he will never be mine.
“Joel, I—”
“Well, don’t you two look cosy?” I jolt out of Joel’s arms at the deep voice coming from behind me, as I turn around to face the man who is standing watching us. All at once, the feelings that had been soaring through my body are dropped into ice cold water.
Emotions I can’t comprehend coil in my stomach as Leon stands there with a smug fucking look on his face. Flashes of seeing him in bed with another woman blind my eyes. Anger, hurt and confusion creep up from my toes as I face the man who broke my heart.
Why is he here?
“Aren’t you going to say anything?”he grins, looking over my shoulder.
As if Joel knows I need a little comfort, he rests his hand on my lower back.
“Like what, Leon?”I snap.
He shrugs, as he waves his champagne glass. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe, hello. How are you? I’ve missed you, Leon.”
“Missed you? Why the fuck would I have missed you?”
His only response is to rake his eyes down my body, tilting his head to the side and examining me like he’s just won a prize. “You look good, Edith. Really fucking good.”
“It’s surprising what single life can do to someone. Makes you realise what you’re worth after all. So, thanks. You did me a favour.” I don’t know who I’m trying to convince because if anything he’d made me feel like complete shit. I’d felt like my heart had been ripped out: when everyone had been mourning Sophia, I’d been faced with the brutality of a double eviction of my heart.
“We were good once, Edith.”
I raise a brow. “Were we? Because all the time I thought we were, our relationship was based on lies and disloyalty.”
Not an ounce of regret is shown in his features with my words, and it only confirms what a bastard he is.
Was I a pawn in some sick game? Use the girl that shall never be loved?
My body shakes with everything that is battling through me.
“I don’t think I’m the only one who lied. I dare say you did your fair share of that too, Edith.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, come on. We all know I wasn’t the number one guy in your life.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
His eyes dart to Joel, and I feel his body straighten behind me.
“Well, let’s just say, I don’t get up close and personal with my best friend like you were just now. He must be good at something that’s for sure.”
“I’d stop right there if I were you,” Joel growls.
“I never cheated on you, Leon, if that’s what you’re implying.”
He ignores me, looking over my shoulder. “What is it about the Kennedy girls that tickles your fancy, Joel?”
“Watch your fucking mouth,” Joel snaps as I hold him back, not wanting this to get ugly.
“If Joel is good at anything, Leon, then it’s being true. He’s a good man. A loyal man. You were never that, and I loathe myself for even falling for your shit. You’re not even half of the man he is, and you never fucking will be.”
Turning away, I come face to face with Joel’s big, gorgeous eyes as he fixes me in place. So many questions cloud them, along with the anger I can see he has for Leon. It’s only now I realise how fucked up this situation is and reality hits me hard.
If I wasn't feeling so damn angry right now, I'd laugh. Here I stand between the two men who have managed to capture my heart, yet right now, I feel more alone than I ever have because I can’t trust one and I can’t have the other.
As the waiter with a tray of champagne circles us, I swipe two glasses. Drinking one down before starting on the other.
Needing more answers, I turn back to Leon.
“Why are you even here?”
He frowns as if I’ve just asked a ridiculous question. “Lorna invited me.”
“Of course she did!” I fling my arms up in the air, enraged by the playout of tonight’s events when we’ve not even been here two hours. I should have known. “So, you came here for her, not my dad?”
I’d never been able to understand why Leon got on with Lorna, and what infuriated me more was he could never understand why I hated her as much as I do. It had been like he was blind to her behaviours. Then again, he’s just as much a snake as she is.
“I came here because Lorna invited me.”
Was this her plan all along? Bring him back into my life, knowing it would hurt me? Because it’s worked. Seeing Leon is just a brutal reminder of how little I’d meant to him and how he’d torn my heart out when it was already broken. Not able to bear the sight of him anymore, I look out across the canal.
He’d been the one—the one I’d tried so hard to love in the beginning to forget the one who was already taken, and when my feelings for him had turned into something more, I’d finally seen a future with him, even though I’d still secretly loved another. I’d believed everything he’d made me feel, yet here he stands as if nothing happened.
Tears sting my eyes, but I swallow them. I don't want to cry. I don't want to give him or anyone the satisfaction of knowing how fucking raw my insides are right now.
But Jesus this is hard.
“I didn’t just come here tonight just because of Lorna. I wanted to see you, Edith. To apologise. I didn’t realise the magnitude of my actions until it was too late. Especially with Sophia’s… Can we be friends?”
I turn back around to find he’s even closer than I expected. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I spit out. “You break my heart, and you wait all this time to come back and apologise in the hope that we can be friends? Which part are you sorry for, Leon? The times you worked late but were never at the office? The times you had a working weekend away but they never actually involved any paperwork. The day Sophia died when you never answered my phone calls because you were too busy? Or are you apologising for when I came home to find you in bed with someone who wasn’t me? Which fucking part, Leon?”
“Edith, listen.”
“No. You , listen,” I grit, prodding my finger into his chest, loathing that I'm even touching him at all, his musky scent that I once loved now repulsing me. “I was grieving. I felt like I was at the worst point of my life, and if that wasn’t enough, you hurt and lied to me every damn day. I loved you, and you broke me. I can’t even look at you, let alone talk to you. So you can keep your apology, you fucking arsehole!”
Needing to get out of this toxic environment, I stride past them both, sensing Joel right behind me before his hand links with mine. I make my way through the gathering of people in the ballroom, not even stopping to say goodbye to my dad, as my body roars with so much fury and anguish. But everything makes perfect sense when Lorna’s words come from behind and I can hear that fucking smirk in her tone.
"So, Edith. You've seen Leon. I did say the night would be full of surprises. I guess all I need to add now is Happy Birthday."
Letting go of Joel’s hand, I spin on my heels. Not holding back my words as they leave my mouth. "If my dad knew half the twisted shit you do to me, I’m damn sure he would hate you as much as I do. Congratulations for sharpening your claws at my expense, you fucking bitch. "
Not waiting for her reply, I storm out of the hotel, loathing myself for falling for her games.
Finally letting my tears fall, I’m once again putting together my shattered heart.
I should have known.
I should have fucking known.