Chapter 38
Oscar
My fucking brain short circuited. She opened the door and my hands were shaking so bad I dropped the fucking pizza, but the second it hit the floor, it was over. Her eyes snapped up and met mine and that was it.
I crash into her, pushing her back into her apartment, kicking the door closed behind us, leaving the pizza on the floor in the hallway.
Her lips are soft against my skin, and without hesitation, her hands are tangled in my hair, her legs are wrapped around my waist, and her ass is in my hands. When my lips moved and found the nape of her neck, her mouth fell open, and a long sensual breath left her mouth.
The sound only fed the hunger inside me. Unfamiliar with her space, I did my best to make our way over to the living room and tossed her onto the couch and pulled my t-shirt over my head with one hand, using the other to unfasten my pants.
I watch her scramble to shed her clothes as well. There is nothing romantic about this moment. It’s heat, fury, unspoken heartbreak, and sheer animalistic desire all wrapped in the tension crackling at the surface.
Her shirt flies off and lands on the chair next to the couch, and the sight of her nipples in the dim light is the best thing I’ve ever seen. A breath later, my mouth is wrapped around one of her nipples and the other breast is wrapped in the palm of my hand.
I lick and bite, and suck on her skin as she works her hand around the base of my cock. She brings her hand to her mouth and drops a small bead of spit into her palm before using it to work me over.
“Fuck,” I growl, unable to conceal my need for more.
“Ozzie.” Her voice is breathy and coated with desire. “Fuck me. Now.”
I barely wait for her to finish her sentence before grabbing the condom out of my pants, sliding it on, and lining up with her entrance.
The second my length disappears inside her, and the feel of her wraps around me, I feel like I’m home.
But when her skin touches mine, the most animalistic groan I have ever heard leaves my lips, filling the air.
“Baby. Fuck. Holy, fuck,” I chant over and over. Maybe in my head, maybe out loud. I can’t really tell where the noises that leave me end and the ones falling from her begin.
Combine that with the sound of her arousal pooling around my dick and the sound of our skin slapping filling the silent room, and sex is all you hear.
“Ozzie,” she moans my name and claws at my back, breaking skin I’m sure. Her hips thrash, and her breath quickens, and she cries. Literally cries out my name as she comes on my dick, and I break. I wipe the tears from her cheeks, as my own fall and I chase my own release.
Barely able to breathe, we stare at each other for a moment as if the other will disappear if we look away.
“You,” her voice comes out ragged, “were there.”
I crook a brow at her, not following her train of thought.
“I thought I imagined you.” Her chest heaves up and down and tears continue to fall. “You were there, and then you were gone. I thought I was going crazy.”
“I convinced the usher to let me watch from the top of the aisle.” I kiss her forehead, and wipe her tears again. “You looked like you’d seen a ghost, and I didn’t want to distract you.”
“You left.” Her lip quivers.
“I had to pick up the pizza. Ruby’s orders.” I smile trying to lighten the mood.
She stares at me.
“She gave me the ticket the day she received it. Said it was for me.” I shake my head. “It was addressed to her, but you know how she is. She said it was for me, so I booked a flight and here I am.”
She’s quiet for a second.
“It’s been almost two years,” she says as she moves out from under me, and I feel empty as she moves away.
“Yes.”
“Yes?” she scoffs.
“Yes.” I pull my briefs on, feeling indecent having this conversation with my cock out. “What do you want me to say? It has been… Almost two years.”
“We’re way fucking past smug answers and games, Oz. You ghosted me, and now— What? Because Ruby made it convenient for you, pushed your hand in it, you decided, I might as well show up after all this time?”
I hand her a blanket because I also can’t have this conversation with her tits out. She glares at me and puts her hands on her hips, and fuck. She looks beautiful.
A look I haven’t seen slides over her face, and then morphs into hurt.
“Don’t look at me like that, Mare.”
“Like what?”
“Like you missed me and I fucked up.”
She huffs in frustration.
“Tell me you weren’t here fucking that guy who scanned my ticket. The one in all your pictures. What’s his name? Becks.” His name falls off my tongue like acid.
“Don’t try to make me feel guilty for moving on. I’ve done enough of that to myself. I was devastated when you let me go. You never called me back.” Tears start to fall down her cheek and they burn. “He’s my friend, and he’s dating someone now.”
She doesn’t deny it, and it stings. But it’s not a fight worth having.
“So, we’re the same then,” I state. She gives me a pointed look. “We were both devastated, and too immature to be the one to say it.”
I watch her eyes soften, and I decide this is the time to approach her slowly. She’s a flight risk, right there, ready to run.
“To say what?” Her voice is shaky.
I move slowly, taking one small step in her direction at a time until I’m close enough to wrap my arms around her waist and pull her into me.
“I love you.” I kiss her. Just one slow kiss.
“I kept trying to play it cool, like I didn’t fall apart without you, but you know I’m a terrible liar.
We both tried to pretend that ending it would make it easier, that if we filled the empty space with noise and work and stupid distractions, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so damn much.
But all it did was make the silence louder.
” I kiss her, and she opens for me. “We’re the same.
I missed you. And you missed me. We both know it.
“Every day felt like the same kind of torture as being with you and missing you from a far, because either way, that’s what I was doing.
I thought pushing you away would protect both of us.
That if we stayed apart, the ache might fade.
Turns out it doesn’t matter how far you are—you own my heart, Mare. Completely.
“So here it is, baby, blunt and probably too much. I love you. I always have. And being apart didn’t fix a damn thing—it just fucking hurt.”
This time she kisses me. “Tell me I’m wrong.” I give her a smug smile with my forehead pressed to hers.
“You’re wrong.” She pulls away from me, and I panic for a second before she continues, “Ending it was way worse.”