Chapter Thirteen
Calypso
The last two weeks have been normal, calm even. At least whatever I can consider my current normal; Liam comes to the bakery every morning, with the exception of Sundays when we go to the farmer’s market, and we spend most evenings together.
Well, not together in that way. That line has still not been crossed. He was serious when he said the ball was in my court—I kind of wish he wasn’t.
It’s probably for the best. I’m not scared to make the first move with a man, especially when I’m certain he’s attracted to me, but it would complicate things. This whole scheme is going too well to rock the boat now.
We have dinner together at least four nights a week—always in a public place, like The Loop or Bella Donna’s.
Usually my siblings or his cousins are there, but the last three times were just the two of us.
We’re even starting to get dinner requests.
His Aunt Willa and Pippa have each invited us over, and we have only so many excuses.
I expect every call from my mom to be the one where she demands I bring him for Sunday dinner.
On this sunny Monday morning, I’m no longer at the bakery with Liam.
Instead, I’m at a local bridal boutique looking for bridesmaid outfits.
Vivi is letting us pick the style—Lexi, Blake, and me—but chose a silk, sage-green fabric.
Lexi will choose a jumpsuit, preferring pants over a skirt.
I think it works with her being the maid of honor and all.
When Vivi told me she asked Lexi to be the maid of honor, we both felt the guilt for weeks. She felt bad for choosing her childhood-enemy-turned-best-friend over her older sister. Little did she know, relief rushed through me immediately.
It didn’t take long to start morphing into guilt, but it was slow. The longer I enjoyed the lack of responsibility, the longer I stood still in the quicksand of my own mind. By the time I even acknowledged it, I was being pulled down, too deep to wiggle myself out.
I would have been a horrible maid of honor, and quite honestly, a bitter one.
Maybe Vivi saw that and wanted to save us both the headache; maybe she just wanted her best friend, who has been by her side every day since they were eighteen, to be standing next to her.
Either way, it worked out for the best—but that pesky bitch named Guilt has permanently taken place in my soul.
From the way my sister keeps side-eyeing me, I think Guilt has a twin who lives with Vivi now.
Not only that, but my maid of honor was my childhood friend, Juniper. Vivi, who was only sixteen at the time, wouldn’t have known where to begin with that level of responsibility back then.
The entire day has felt fucking weird. Like a Twilight Zone episode of my life.
If there’s anyone who deserves a fairytale wedding day, it’s Vivi.
I’m not saying someone should have to earn love, but she’s always dreamed of it.
She became cynical for a few years; anyone would after the betrayal she experienced.
It took Grady a matter of months to find that spark of hope in her again, and I’ll always love him for that, if nothing else.
I wish I could enjoy these moments more for her, but there’s always a lot of flashbacks of my wedding planning. Stefan’s mom did most of it; she chose the colors, venue, everything. Including the flowers.
Martha chose a pretty black dahlia bouquet because she knew they were my favorite. Whether that choice was out of the kindness of her heart or not was up for debate. I wouldn’t put it past her to choose something special to me just to soil it.
I fucking hate the flower now and still receive multiple bouquets every year from Stefan. Each one goes straight in the garbage. Usually I’d donate them or give them to a customer, but no one deserves that energy in their lives.
Along with the wedding party, my mom, Selena, Blake, and the three girls are here. Stella and Daisy are the flower girls but Blake’s daughter, Millie, wanted to try on dresses too. The large group makes it easier to fall to the background.
I already found my dress. A silk, strapless bodycon that goes to my ankles was the only one in the right color that happened to be my size. It was fate—and it saved me from having to try on a million options.
Vivi knew the exact dress she wanted, and it’s already with Blake’s best friend in New York City getting alterations done.
Speaking of the devil, Vivi walks up next to me. From the corner of my eye, I glance down at her as I mindlessly shift through dresses.
“Hey,” she says in her breezy tone.
I’m proud to say I haven’t made a single snide remark today, not even when Lexi was practically asking for it earlier by bringing up how she overheard Polly complaining about Liam again. That doesn’t mean I can’t be an asshole in my own head, because some of these options are fugly.
“Hey. Did Lexi find anything she likes?” I cross my arms and turn toward her.
She’s the only one we’re waiting on, but I assume they don’t have as many options with pants here. Vivi’s patient and has emphasized for months that our comfort is more important than anything else.
“I think so.” She crosses her arms too.
Even mirroring each other, we’re so different. My posture is like a soldier waiting for battle. Vivi is patient like she’s about to talk to a toddler on the verge of a meltdown; a teacher through and through.
It used to grate on me more, when she was first stepping into the career. Now, it’s just who she is, regardless of who she’s talking to. Our mom, the twins, Grady’s daughters—we’ve all experienced it.
“I wanted to come check on you.”
I fight off an eye roll, shrugging instead. That single sentence irritates me a lot more than her demeanor.
“I’m fine.” Mostly I’m angry with myself. Vivi shouldn’t have to worry about my mood on what should be a joyous day. “Why do you ask?”
Vivi tilts her head. “You’ve been quiet today.”
I guess keeping my mouth shut was far less impressive than I thought.
“I’m always quiet,” I retort, turning back to the dresses and practically flinching away from a mustard-yellow tutu style.
She rolls her eyes and some of that precious patience begins to ebb away. “There are different types of ‘quiet,’ even for you and Hudson.”
I don’t argue with her. Hudson doesn’t verbalize a lot, except to maybe Asher. And that’s a big maybe. His body language gives a deeper insight into his head though. If you know how to read him.
It’s the same for me, I guess.
That fact feels more shocking than it probably should. I’m so busy taking care of my siblings, even as adults, that I don’t give myself time to think about how deep their love is. How mutually it flows between us.
“It’s weird,” I admit. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you guys. I am.”
She nods. “I know, I never doubted that. I also know you hate all things weddings.”
Tilting my head back and forth, I think through my words. “I don’t hate weddings. I just hated my wedding. And it’s hitting me differently with you.”
She smiles like she understands. And I know she’s trying. It’s enough.
At least I tell myself it is.
“What are you doing after this?” Vivi offers me an olive branch out of the uncomfortable conversation. “Blake has swim lessons, but Lexi and I were thinking about getting an early dinner.”
I dig through my purse, more for a distraction than in search of anything, and nod. “Yeah, I could eat.”
Smiling brightly, happy to not be stuck in the awkwardness, Vivi loops her arm through mine and pulls me back to the group. It doesn’t take long to check out and schedule the follow up appointments for alterations.
Stepping out onto the sidewalk, I take my first deep breath in hours. The small shop felt too stuffy, too similar to a burning building that my instincts were telling me to get the hell out of there.
Out here, I’m surrounded by the crisp, salty breeze and the overwhelming florals from the flower shop next to us. I’m only half-listening as my mom and Selena plan to take the girls, plus Blake’s boys, to a book fair at the local library.
I’m the first to turn around after goodbyes and walk away from the store. If it weren’t for my sister and friend next to me, I’m not certain I wouldn’t be sprinting back to Brighter Daze to bury myself in orders for a few hours.
Maybe that’s a better idea than going out to eat with them right now. Let them celebrate and me decompress.
We’re rounding the corner back to the bakery as I try to come up with one reason, any reason, to not go eat with them. I look up the street when Lexi lets out a low whistle.
Liam is leaning against the passenger door of his 4Runner, texting on his phone. He’s totally casual, making the entire gesture look natural rather than out of place.
“Do you guys have plans?” Vivi is more excited at the prospect than hurt.
I shake my head. “Uh, no. Not that I remember.”
There’s never been a man who gives me his time so willingly, unless it comes with a hundred expectations. To even say Liam “goes out of his way” feels wrong because of how natural he makes it. He’s changed his entire morning routine around to start his day with me.
Still, I wait for the rug to be pulled out from under me so he can laugh when I fall on my ass.
Some of that insecurity fizzles out when he looks up and a big, dopey grin takes over his entire face when he sees me. I’m only a few feet away from him by the time he’s slipping his phone in his pocket and standing at his full height.
“Hi, honey,” he murmurs and brushes a lock of hair behind my ear.
“What are you doing here?” It’s a quiet inquiry, too tired to put any fight into it after today.
He glances behind me, where Vivi and Lexi are giving us space.
“Just wanted to check in, see how dress shopping went.” My brows raise in surprise, and I’m met with the deep, churning intensity of his blue eyes.
It’s the look I’m starting to interpret as concern.
In a louder voice, he adds, “I thought maybe we could grab dinner and see a movie.”
“How old school of you,” I tease and cross my arms.
“Don’t fix what isn’t broken, right?” He holds the passenger door open for me.
Twisting my lips to the side, I look at Vivi and Lexi. Both are sporting encouraging expressions.
“Oh, you know what?” Lexi says in a dramatically surprised voice. “I forgot there was a huge inventory delivery. We can order something and Vivi can help me with that.”
Vivi does her best to fight a laugh at Lexi’s obvious acting but nods. “I’ll call you later. Love you.”
Not needing another reason to take some space from everything right now, I get in the vehicle. “Love you too.”
When she and Lexi head inside, I drop my head back and watch Liam round the hood.
He gets in, looking satisfied that I agreed, but doesn’t say anything.
His arms flex with each little movement—turning the ignition on, buckling his seatbelt in, adjusting the AC.
The most mundane things in life feel a little more alluring with him.
He eyes me, scowling when he notices I haven’t put my seatbelt on. Smirking, I roll my eyes and grab the buckle.
Stopping before it clicks into place, I meet Liam’s eye, offering him a second of my vulnerability. “You have no idea how badly I needed this escape.”
Leaning forward, he wraps his hand over mine and locks the seatbelt around me. “I thought you might. Let’s get out of here, yeah?”
Nodding, I swallow down these emotions—the discomfort of being openly seen and regarded—and watch my familiar hometown pass by as we head to the movie theater in Aurora Hills.