Chapter 10 Taryn
TARYN
I don’t know how I will make it through this reception. There is a faint buzzing in my head, and I’ve been repeating Liam’s angry words over and over in my mind. I see people’s lips moving—I assume congratulating me. I can’t hear what they are saying over my own turbulent thoughts.
That’s my ring on your finger. I didn’t ask you to fuck me for it.
He looked at me with such disdain. I was imagining being hit on by the campus manwhore. Joke’s on me. Instead, I watched the playboy shift into a real person before my eyes.
I can’t seem to focus, because this is suddenly very real.
Liam is flesh and blood. His ring is on my finger.
I’m supposed to spend my life with him, and I clearly annoy him.
He obviously has his own feelings about all of this.
Feelings I never once considered. Yet, despite my total disregard for how this impacts his life, he hasn’t left my side during my semiconscious state.
No, instead, Liam has been steadfast. Hand on my lower back or at my elbow.
Guiding me from person to person. Smiling.
Saying all the right things when I can barely keep it together.
“Right, Taryn?” he’s asking, smiling at me encouragingly. He seems to be prompting me for a response, but I have no idea to what. I give a shaky smile and nod. This was obviously the right answer because Mrs. Murphy’s eyes light up.
“Good! Good! No sense in one of those long engagements. I remember what it was like to be your age,” she shares with a bright smile.
“We need enough time to plan everything, ma’am.
I want Taryn to have the wedding that she always dreamed of,” Liam says kindly.
I’m not sure if he’s buying us time before our nuptials or if he means that.
As he so eloquently pointed out earlier, I don’t know him.
Yet, I’ve never once dreamed of my wedding, so I guess he doesn’t know me either.
Mrs. Murphy is utterly charmed, so I continue my forced smile until Cole Murphy saunters over to kiss the old woman on the cheek. “Not causing any trouble, are you, Maimeó?”
His grandmother titters out a girly giggle.
“Hello, dearest. I’m trying to get the good gossip on the wedding date.
I have brunch with the ladies after mass tomorrow.
” Her eyes remain bright. “Nothing more exciting than young love. Speaking of which, young man, when will you finally settle down with one lass and start giving me more great-grandbabies?”
I look Cole directly in the eye. Finally settle down with one girl? I’m curious how his family doesn’t know he’s had the same girlfriend for years now. God, did I mention that I really hate him?
If my glare bothers him, he pretends not to notice. “Maimeó, you have at least ten great-grandchildren. I think you can give me a few more years.” He chuckles and tweaks her chin. I want to kick him in a place where children will never be a concern of his again.
“I have fourteen,” she replies saucily. “But, there is always room in our family, Cole. Always room.” She pats him affectionately on the bicep.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, Mrs. Murphy.” Liam smiles brightly. “Cole.” He dips his head at my roommate’s asshole boyfriend before steering me away. “Do you have a history with Cole Murphy?” he asks me gruffly as he pushes me gently toward the bar. He sounds perturbed.
“Unfortunately,” I grumble. “My roommate is his girlfriend.”
Liam’s eyebrows shoot up. “Does he know that?”
“Right?” I snarl. “God, she could do so much better than his lying ass.”
Liam stops our forward momentum and spins me to face him. “I need you to know… I don’t believe in that.”
I’m confused. I’m also exhausted if I’m telling the truth. “You don’t believe in what exactly?”
“Cheating,” he replies definitively. “You won’t have to worry about that with me.
” There is such a conviction in his words.
He’s making a vow to me right in the middle of the O’Tooles’ grand parlor.
Right under the gaudy chandeliers and in a room full of half-drunk Irishmen, he’s making a commitment that I didn’t think was possible for a guy like Liam. He plans to be monogamous? Really?
I don’t even know how to respond to this, so I don’t.
I continue to watch him, and he looks so sincere that it confounds me even further.
His eyes are studying my face as though I hold the secrets of the universe.
Like he’s waiting for me to say something profound.
I’m sorry to disappoint him because I am certain of absolutely nothing right now.
I look away because I can’t stand his continued scrutiny.
“And you plan to be faithful to me.” He says this as a statement.
“This isn’t the place to have this conversation,” I say quietly and his eyes flash. “Let’s get through tonight and talk later, remember?”
His jaw ticks. “No conversation to have. It’s not up for discussion.”
I’m saved from any further talk of fidelity when one of Liam’s friends comes up behind us.
“If it isn’t the bride and groom!”
Liam shakes his head with a slight smile. “Taryn, do you know Danny?”
Of course I do, since he goes to St. A’s. I nod but don’t bother greeting him.
“You guys look great.” Danny beams at us. “What do you think, Ry?” He nods to Liam’s brother, who I didn’t notice was standing there. I vaguely recall being introduced to him earlier, along with Aidan and Brendan, his youngest two brothers.
Ryan’s eyes flit over us briefly before looking away. “I think that ring is too big for her hand.”
“Ryan,” Liam chastises, but his voice holds no malice. He just raises an eyebrow at his brother, who takes in his expression before once again glancing away.
I look down to study the huge diamond. “I agree with Ryan. It is a bit ridiculous.”
“You don’t want to wear it?” Liam frowns.
It’s such a loaded question. He sounds annoyed.
No. I absolutely do not want to wear it.
However, my new fiancé is fully focused on me, and although I’m definitely not firing on all cylinders at the moment, I’m perceptive enough to know what I say next matters.
“It’s too much,” I answer as honestly as I can. “I’ll be terrified of losing it.” This is a true statement. How am I supposed to do normal daily things without knocking this rock into everything? Maybe I should put it in a safe and never look at it again.
“We can get it sized,” Liam says as if he’s solved all our problems.
“It’s probably from Russia,” Ryan murmurs, still looking off at something behind me.
“Why do you say that?” I ask him, genuinely curious.
He meets my eyes again briefly. “They are the largest diamond producer in the world.”
“Well, I suppose that’s better than being a blood diamond, right?” I ask him with a smile.
“Only about four percent of diamonds are mined that way today,” he answers seriously. “It’s likely my father still obtained it illegally, but it’s not likely that it was mined by someone who is enslaved.”
I’m a bit perplexed at the direction of this conversation, but I have to admit, it’s a welcome distraction. I nod at Ryan. “So, do you think your father got it directly from the Russians, then?” It isn’t until the words are out of my mouth that I realize I’ve made an accusation.
Liam’s brother is totally unaffected. “No, we don’t do business with the Bratva. He probably got it from the Serbians, like he does with my mother’s jewelry.”
“Ryan.” Liam’s tone is sharper this time. “Do you think it’s wise to talk about our business right now?”
Finally, Ryan looks ruffled. He sucks in a breath, and I notice motion at his side.
He’s rapidly tapping his middle finger and thumb together on his left hand.
Suddenly, his lack of eye contact makes sense.
He appears to be neurodivergent in some way, and without a doubt, he is also the most interesting person I’ve spoken to this evening.
“My fault,” I say regretfully. “I didn’t mean to imply anything or ask about something I shouldn’t have.
” I say this mainly as an apology to Ryan.
I hate that I caused him any distress. “I never spent much time thinking about where diamonds come from. It’s truly interesting, though.
I thought they all came from Africa for some reason.
I guess I’ve always been more a fan of emeralds. ”
Ryan looks at me again. “Only twenty percent of diamonds are from Africa.” He clears his throat. “Emeralds are much rarer than diamonds. They have a lot more inclusions, though.”
“What’s an inclusion?” I ask, honestly curious. Liam’s eyes are bouncing between his brother and me. He’s wearing a look I can’t place.
“An imperfection,” Ryan answers. “A flaw. You don’t want many of those in a diamond because it lessens its value. But, inclusions are considered favorable in an emerald. The inclusions make each one unique.”
“I love that.” I am genuinely smiling at Liam’s brother now. “Something rare that’s celebrated for its imperfections. Yeah. I love the idea of that.” I know how wistful I must sound, but I can’t help it.
Ryan nods. “Me too.”
I catch his eye and it feels like an understanding passes between us before he looks away again.
Danny clears his throat. I forgot he was still standing here. “Well, I don’t think many people will miss that you’re engaged, wearing that baby. So—have you guys landed on a wedding date?”
“You’re only the hundredth person to ask,” Liam groans. “No, Danny. We haven’t.”
“Yeah, I’m guessing it’s going to be decided for you anyway,” he responds with a shrug, and it occurs to me that Danny is right. I’m sure the date has already been agreed to by the powers that be. I grimace at the thought.
“I wonder what else they’ve decided on,” I ponder aloud. I’m surprised at how despondent my voice sounds. I probably even have a due date to get pregnant by.
Liam opens his mouth to say something but is cut off by Rowan O’Toole clanging his knife against his glass.