Taryn
God has a sick sense of humor. I prayed for an end to my engagement, and boy, did He deliver it. I can’t make my hands stop trembling. My finger feels odd without the weight of Liam’s ring. I press my palms to my legs to ground myself. Focus on the simple act of breathing.
I lie on my childhood bed, wondering how I got here.
My father has pronounced that we will “talk about this later,” after he has a chance to calm down.
It’s as if I’m a five-year-old, being sent to my room.
Waiting on my punishment. My eyes mist with tears as I think about his disappointment.
The way his voice elevated. How absolutely unraveled he became as the consequences of my actions crystalized in his mind.
Am I a liability as Kian McGuiness claimed?
My gut clenches because I know I am. Never once did I consider Sam’s relationship with Theo.
Liam’s father was correct. I was too stupid to realize I had been used.
I didn’t want this marriage, but the thought of the entire clan turning on my family due to my stupidity?
My selfishness? My disregard? That’s even more unbearable.
I was so focused on my own plans that I didn’t think things through.
The relationship that Sam has with Theo?
I didn’t see it. I only saw his investment advice.
The fast money. I focus on taking deep breaths.
I fear I may be physically sick. I’ve ruined everything.
I again look at my empty ring finger. Liam was the only one on my side today. I still don’t understand him—sauntering back into the O’Toole library, smiling his dimpled grin, holding out his hand as if inviting me to have a conversation was that easy.
“I can make this look purposeful.”
He wants me to lie to my family. Blame him. I don’t think I can do that.
“Trust me.”
God. I want to. I want to believe he has a plan that makes sense.
I want to take the easy way out and say that this was all his fault.
That I only did what Liam said. But, I can’t, because the crazy part is, my friends were right.
I like Liam. He’s the only person who has trusted me enough to really tell me about clan business.
He’s been honest. Patient. And, yeah, if I’m telling the truth, he’s been kind of relentless.
It was growing on me. It was a new experience to have someone want to get to know me so insistently.
To listen when I speak, as if what I have to say is important.
To not be turned off by my snark when I get scared.
To be proud to be seen with me. He is not what I expected, and I mean that in the best possible way. Not to mention: the sex was amazing.
I’m still sore between my legs. I can’t believe that happened only a few hours ago. Hell, I can still feel him inside me, despite being told our relationship is over. It’s a head trip. I want good things for him, and I can’t let him take the fall for my naive desperation.
When my father is finally ready to discuss this, I’m going to have to tell him the truth. About law school. About my fund. About Sam. I’ll disappoint him even more. I rub my chest as if the action might ease the pain there.
When my mother walks into my bedroom a couple hours later, I’m ready.
I’ve rehearsed my speech. My apology. I look behind her and am surprised not to see my father or brothers.
It’s just Katie Walsh, with her normal stern look.
She doesn’t knock, doesn’t even acknowledge me.
She goes straight to my closet and begins rifling through my clothing.
“Mom?”
She ignores me, pulling out a dress I wore a couple years ago on Easter. “Do you think this still fits?”
Is she serious? She wants to clean out my closet now? “Is there a church rummage sale?”
My mother barks out a laugh, the sound sharp. “No, Taryn. There is not. We need to find something for you to wear to your wedding.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Oh, I imagine you are mighty sorry, lass. Do you think this will fit?”
My mouth opens. Closes. I nod.
“Good.”
I clear my throat. “Who am I marrying?” Fear snakes into my chest. Is there another alliance? Have I been auctioned off to a different mob? I can hear my heartbeat in my ears.
“Liam McGuiness is with your Da,” she says, and the name hits me like a physical blow. “The next time a young man asks you to do something stupid, you come to me or your father. Do you understand?”
I shake my head. Because I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of this.
“I don’t see why you needed your own savings,” she snaps.
“Your father and I give you plenty. We would have set you up with anything you needed. Instead, you sneak around, letting Liam McGuiness whisper ideas into your ear, moving money you don’t even understand.
Did you honestly think following his lead was safe?
Smart? He may play the hero now, but do you think the Greeks care who they burn when his stupid setup goes wrong? ”
“Mom—”
“Of all the things in the world, lass. Never once did I assume you’d be so flighty.
So foolish. What were you thinking? You’ve been seeing Liam behind our backs?
Did you think he had your best interests at heart?
Because if you did, I promise you, he didn’t.
You can’t trust anyone outside this family.
And now…” She shakes her head, eyes flashing with a mix of disappointment and something sharper.
“Now Liam has to face your father for this stunt. You let him sweet-talk you into something reckless, and for what? You’ve backed yourself into a corner, Taryn Kathleen, and don’t you dare think this hasty marriage is anything but a consequence of the trouble you two stirred up. ”
Her words sting like slaps, because she’s not wrong. I was careless. Naive. Too eager to trust Sam’s smile and easy answers. I feel my stomach twist as her voice hardens. She may be naming the wrong man, but she’s not wrong about me.
“You’ve disappointed your father, and me, in ways I can’t even put into words,” she says, and that cuts deeper than her anger. Her disappointment is worse than any punishment.
I can’t look at her. My eyes burn as I stare at the dress draped over her arm, pale and soft—like something that belongs to someone better than me. Someone worth all this trouble.
She smooths the fabric with her hand, her voice losing none of its edge. “You will marry Liam. Today. And you will hold your head high when you do it. Do you understand me?”
I nod, even though my mind is spinning. I’m marrying Liam. Today. This makes no sense, but I’m not sure it even matters anymore.
It should feel like chains closing around me, but instead, I feel…relief. Why? I didn’t want to marry him. I swore I’d never let myself be trapped in this life. But now? There’s a strange safety in the choice being made for me. I close my eyes. Breathe.
Liam is…complicated. Infuriating. He’s the last man I wanted to be tied to, but the idea of standing next to him, of letting his strength shield me for once, feels like breathing after I’ve been drowning over these last few hours.
Maybe it’s because he’s already taking the blame for me.
Maybe because nothing ever seems to rattle him.
Part of me hates him for this. He should have let me take the blame I deserve and walked away. The other part? The other part hopes he doesn’t change his mind. God. I never thought I’d sink this low. Wanting someone else to make my decisions.
Everything that happens next seems to occur in slow motion.
The courthouse smells like floor polish and paper.
There’s nothing romantic about the cracked linoleum tiles, the stale air, or the humming fluorescent lights.
I don’t know why that surprises me—what did I expect?
Flowers? Music? A priest waving a holy book and blessing our mob union?
No, this is exactly what it is. Business, dressed up as vows.
I clutch my purse tighter as my family files into the narrow hallway outside the judge’s office.
Rafferty leans against the wall, quiet and contemplative, and Nolan, arms crossed, looks more like my angry bodyguard than my brother.
My younger brother, Rory, keeps shuffling his feet.
My two younger sisters, Neve and Kennedy, stand stiffly next to my mother, who looks like she might turn into smoke if she doesn’t keep fidgeting with the rosary in her hand.
And then there’s Liam’s family. His father, who radiates anger, doesn’t even glance my way.
His mother looks pale—sick with worry—but she still gives me a kind smile that almost makes me cry.
Behind them are Liam’s three younger brothers, all varying degrees of curious and amused, and Darragh, the ever-watchful second-in-command.
He turns to stride down the hall, moving to where I saw two of the McGuiness bodyguards disappear around the corner.
I assume Liam is with them, because I don’t see him either.
I turn to my oldest brother, lowering my voice. “How did we even get a marriage license this fast? Don’t they make you wait, or fill out paperwork, or something? And are they normally open this late?” It’s well into the evening now.
Raff tilts his head, the corners of his mouth quirking up like I’ve told him the cutest joke. “Tare Bear. Do you think our clan waits in line at city hall? Don’t worry about it. This will all get done tonight. Papers filed and everything.” He tweaks my chin.
Don’t worry about it? Yeah. Okay.
Nolan snorts behind me. “God, Taryn, after all that’s happened lately, do you still think we play by the rules?” He rolls his eyes.
I flush and stare at the floor. Maybe I am naive, but I want to punch my brother in the throat for that comment, because they made me this way. “How can I be expected to know the rules when you’ve never shared them with me?” I hiss at him.
He has the grace to look guilty.