Chapter 7 Flo #2
I was twelve when I was diagnosed. One minute, I was sitting in class writing notes, and the next, I was on the floor with everyone huddled around me, my vision blurry and body weak. It was that day that I got told at the hospital that my pancreas had decided to check out.
What a little bitch.
Food keeps people happy, especially me, and I’ve always had a sweet tooth, so it sucks that I now have to think about everything that goes into my mouth. But if this is what I need to do to live, then I’ll have to do it. I have no choice.
With thoughts of my potential upcoming trip running through my mind, I read over the application email confirmation from the company I applied through late last night while snuggled up on the couch.
I’d decided to bite the bullet and do it after having a brief look for jobs, and seeing nothing that interested me.
All that's left to do now is wait for them to get back to me to confirm my space, and pay my deposit.
Six months of travelling. It’s going to be amazing, but there’s something stirring inside of me that feels… weird. I tell myself I’m going to discover what I want to do with the rest of my life on this trip. That I’m going to have an epiphany one day in the middle of Calgary.
But what if I don’t?
What if it’s all just a waste of time and money?
What if I come back to life afterwards and everything is exactly the same, and I’m right back where I started, wondering where I belong?
Just as I’m placing my insulin pen back in my shoulder bag, the back door of The Salty Dog opens, and Evan steps out into the summer breeze. But once he spots me, his lips—that I find myself looking at for a little too long—part. “I didn’t know you were out here. Sorry.”
“It’s fine. I'm just getting some air.” I take another deep breath and push myself off the barrier, making room for him.
He joins me, ensuring there’s enough distance between us before he slings his arms over the metal and links his fingers together, his tense gaze focused on the parking lot in front of us, like he’s thinking hard.
“You feeling okay?” Evan peeks at my CGM on my arm, before he averts his eyes.
“I’m fine. I just prefer to give myself insulin where it’s quiet. Are you missing Leo?” I ask, taking note of his solemn expression.
“Yes,” he says, turning to me, drawing in a breath and releasing it a few moments later.
A shadow passes through his eyes, silent and sharp as they latch onto me, and after they drop down, he scowls and says, “Look, Leo likes you, but you’re leaving in a couple of months, maybe sooner, so it might be a good idea to remind him that you’re only temporary. ”
I blink. “Right.”
“Just because my kid is getting attached to you, doesn’t mean I will.”
I level him a hard look, eyebrows pulled together, my jaw tight. Is he actually serious?
What an ass. But do I really expect any less?
“I don’t have to do this, you know? I love hanging out with your son, he’s great, but putting up with this”—I gesture to him—“makes it extremely difficult to enjoy it. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but is this what you’re going to do all summer?
Remind me how temporary this is and how indifferent you feel towards me?
” Scoffing, I move past him, back towards the door.
“I think you need to go and find someone you trust to look after Leo, Evan, because it’s clearly not me. ”
I’m aware he doesn’t want a nanny, but the bottom line is that he needs one. I’m here, willing, and looking forward to spending time with his son, but he’s ruining it for all of us.
“Flo, wait,” Evan murmurs as I re-enter the bar, where the party is still in full swing. “Flo, just listen to me.”
“Sorry,” I say sarcastically, pointing to my ears. “It’s so loud in here! I can’t hear you!”
Evan’s face morphs into defeat, and his eyebrows collapse as he pinches the bridge of his nose and swears under his breath. “Will you please come outside?”
“Why?” My shoulders straighten. “So you can tell me how you can’t wait to get rid of me?
How you would rather hire anyone over me?
I wish you and Leo good luck finding another nanny, Evan, because I can’t do this with you all summer.
I just left one shitty job, so it’ll be no skin off my back to leave another. ”
He glances down at my arm, and I see his fingers flex by his side, as if he’s debating wrapping them around my wrist. But he doesn’t, dragging his bottom lip into his mouth instead.
“If you won’t come outside…” His eyes dart to the back door we’ve left open, before they land on a closed door beside us, and he jostles the doorknob. A small supply closet opens, revealing mops and brooms. “Will you at least talk to me somewhere where we can actually hear each other?”
“You want me to get into a bar closet with you?”
“Either that or outside.” He nods towards the back door, where people are now gathered, engaging in drunken conversations that are loud and obnoxious. “Just hear me out.”
My teeth grind. “Fine,” I grumble with a heavy sigh, and enter the closet, leaning back against the large bottles of floor cleaner.
It smells sterile in here, and the scent burns my nose.
“You have two minutes, West, but take the cat ears off. I can’t take you seriously when you’re dressed like that. ”
Evan adheres to my request and follows me in. He turns on the light and closes the door, but he leaves it slightly ajar. Blinking, he scrubs at his jawline, eyes trained on me.
The closet is small, and now I’m standing so close to him, I notice his eyes aren’t just one shade of grey.
The outside ring is a dark silver colour, but there are flecks of steel in the dove-grey irises.
There even appears to be a little bit of hazel surrounding his pupil, but it could just be the yellow closet light playing tricks on me.
I’m a sucker for a man with pretty eyes, but I also don’t get mesmerised easily, especially not when I’m pissed off, so I hike my eyebrows up at Evan, waiting for him to say what he needs to before I leave.
“I didn’t mean it, Flo. I mean, I did, but not in that kind of way. Finding someone I trust to look after Leo is hard, damn near impossible, but I shouldn’t have been so curt with you. I’m sorry.”
“I understand trust is earned, especially in your case, but your attitude has got to go. You don’t have to like me, Evan, but the least you can do is be civil.”
There’s something in his expression that I can’t quite pinpoint. He almost looks slightly pained. “It’s not like that, Flo. I… do like you.”
I press my lips together. “I really think you’d benefit from hiring someone else. Someone you can at least tolerate.”
“I know I’ve been a dick, but Leo loves hanging out with you, and you actually…
do stuff with him. I can tell you care.” He leans back as he thinks, trying to find the right words to describe his feelings, and repeatedly clicks his teeth together, the noise grating. “If you stay, I’ll double your pay.”
“It’s not about money, Evan. I don’t want more. I wanted a fun summer, but you being such a dickhead is ruining it.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. If you were willing to stay, I know it would really mean a lot to Leo.”
We sink into silence.
I contemplate. The thought of leaving Leo after I’ve just promised him the summer of his life doesn’t sit right with me.
I like to keep my promises. Plus, where am I going to find somewhere that is hiring just for the summer at such short notice?
I’m going to need some spending money saved up for my trip.
God. This man.
“Fine… I’ll stay for Leo, but stop acting like this, or I’m gone. I don’t tolerate asshole men. Or many men, in general. You need a nanny, and that’s something you’re going to have to accept, so get off your high horse.”
Evan appears a little taken aback by my comments.
But it’s the truth and what he needs to hear.
“I… don’t want a nanny. I never have, but I realise that I don’t have any option if I want to continue the career I have.
I’m not good at letting people into Leo’s life, but I’ve never seen the kid so smitten with someone he’s only just met. I’ll pull my head out of my ass, Flo.”
I close my eyes for a brief moment before reopening them. “I want to hear you say you’ll at least try and not be the biggest grumpy asshole in the world while I’m here. Once I leave, you can go back to firing people for breathing too close to you, but this shit doesn’t fly with me.”
“I’m not saying that.”
“Then I guess this isn’t going to work.” I unfold my arms to push the closet door open wider, but Evan juts his arm out in front of it, releasing a defeated sigh.
“Wait. Fine, fuck it, if you stay, I’ll try and not be the biggest grumpy asshole in the world. I’ll try and be… a nice boss.”
My body wants to shiver because I think we have different ideas of what a ‘nice’ boss would do, but I ignore my hormones. “Hmm.” I study him with a curl to my lip, red-painted fingernails tapping against my bicep. “Good enough. I’ll stay for Leo’s sake.”
“Thank you.” Evan’s body somewhat relaxes, and he pushes the supply closet door open, gesturing for me to go first.
I exit and spot Mae and Nathan gawking at us, mouths popping open.
“Good luck with that,” Evan mutters into my ear from behind me, a soft noise of exasperation following it, and he heads for Bennett, who’s attempting the Irish Jig on the dance floor.
“What the hell was going on there?” Mae questions me as I approach her, with Nathan listening intently.
“Oh, just business.” A throaty chuckle escapes, and I steal the glass of fizz from her palms because fuck me, do I need it more than she does right now.