Chapter 27 Flo
“Okay, this tricycle chase is starting to feel just a little too much like a personal attack. I need to sit down,” Poppy heaves behind me, bracing her hands on her knees. Mae isn’t far behind, but she, too, has little beads of sweat that have accumulated on her forehead.
We’ve been running around after Leo at the house for over an hour now.
First, we were dinosaurs trying to eat him, and he was the ranger.
Then, somewhere along the way, we turned into orcas and sea lions, and now we’re fire-breathing dragons, and he’s a brave knight trying to escape, after rescuing Princess Donkey, who he’s turned into a looker using one of my favourite pink lipsticks. But for him, the loss was worth it.
Princess Donkey sits on the handlebars of the tricycle, his floppy head twisted, looking at us with those beady eyes of his, taunting us.
We could have easily caught up with the kid in the beginning if we hadn’t gone easy on him, but we wanted him to win and tire himself out.
However, now, our legs feel like sacks of potatoes dragging behind us, while Leo seems to have found his second wind, not that he lost it in the first place.
He has too much energy sometimes, even for me.
“Okay, okay,” I say as I flop down on the ground. “I’m done.” Pulling out a honey granola bar from my pocket, I rip it open with my teeth. Exercise means my body becomes more sensitive to insulin, so I usually have a snack to reduce the chance of hypoglycaemia.
“Do you do this every day?” Mae sits on the grass beside me, with Poppy doing the same, watching Leo cycle round and round in circles on his tricycle.
Evan came home with it the other day as a surprise, and Leo’s been doing everything but sleeping on it.
Although I’m sure if he were able to do that, he would.
“Pretty much.”
“I have no idea how Evan handles this by himself most of the time.”
Me neither, and I’m becoming increasingly worried about who he’s going to be hiring next.
Apparently, he hasn’t liked any of the nannies Coach has found for him, so they’re still on the search, especially since Evan promised Darrell that he wouldn’t fire this one.
He’s being even pickier this time around, which I didn’t think was possible.
“The kid will crash soon. He’s got to, right?”
“Let’s hope so. I need a nap.”
“All ready for your trip?” Mae questions, eyes slightly sad, but she would never try to talk me out of doing something like this. We’re best friends. Plus, she and Poppy have promised to come and meet me in a few months for a girls' trip.
Still, I can’t help but feel numb. I should be jumping for joy. Packing my things. Planning what I’m going to do in each state. But I’m almost dreading it. No, I am dreading it.
Leaving this place makes my heart swell in the worst way possible.
Leaving Leo. Leaving Evan. But this trip will be good for me.
And Leo needs a nanny who will be around for the entire year—someone he can develop a good bond with.
Someone whose lifestyle is stable, and I’m just not.
I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life, so how can I guide him in his?
“Flo? Hello?”
“Oh, yeah.” I swallow. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Poppy and Mae glance at each other, their faces unconvinced for a second, before they plaster on smiles. “Okay, great. We can help you pack if you’d like. You’re welcome to borrow some of my lingerie.” Mae nudges me, and I flick my eyes up in a roll.
“There will be no camper van sex, trust me.”
Poppy chuckles, wiggling her light brows as she says, “I thought there was going to be no single daddy sex either?”
That makes me blow a raspberry, shake my head, and look away.
Leo then rushes over without his tricycle. “Get up, get up! We didn’t finish!”
“We’re tired, kid. We don’t have as much energy as you,” I explain. “Come and just sit with us for a bit.”
“To be honest, I’m craving a milkshake.” Mae stands, holding her hand out for Poppy to take. “I’m sure Evan has the ingredients. Anyone want one?”
“Chocolate!” Leo yells, and I turn to him with furrowed brows.
“Manners, young man.”
Redness tinges the kid’s cheeks. “Sorry. Chocolate milkshake, please.”
I flatten his hair and smile. “Good job.”
“Coming right up.” The girls look at me. “And don’t say you want a matcha milkshake because I’m not making that slop.”
A wheezy laugh slips from me. “I’m feeling spontaneous. Surprise me, please.”
My arm wraps around Leo whilst Poppy and Mae enter the house to get to work. His head is on my shoulder, and I swoop his long hair away from his icy eyes.
“I like you, Flo.”
The kid’s words take me off guard. “I like you too, buddy.”
“You’re the bestest nanny I’ve ever had.”
“And you’re the best kid I’ve ever nannied.”
Leo’s lips pout as he thinks. “Daddy said you haven’t done it before.”
“Okay, that’s true, but I thought I’d start with the coolest kid.”
Silence is upon us as Leo smiles, before he breaks it when saying, “Daddy likes you too.”
My heart constricts. “Well, I like your daddy too.”
“Are you gonna marry him? Then you could stay!”
My throat works. Woah. Why did that just hit me so hard?
Evan and I are currently stuck in limbo.
Neither of us knows what’s happening with…
us, or if there even is an us, but what we both know is that I’m leaving for half a year.
He’s got a lot of pressure and responsibility on his shoulders.
He’s working hard, practising for the Storks, as well as being a single father and trying to spend as much time with his son as he can.
The press follows his life like a lost puppy, and anything he does is a newsworthy event.
Messing around with his kid’s nanny would be a ‘scandal’ the journalist pigs would love to get their little trotters on.
Meanwhile, I need to work out what I’m doing in my own life.
I don’t have a plan, and it freaks me out.
I need to find my purpose. Settling somewhere is definitely on the cards, and although I’m hoping it’s either in or near Missarali, I don’t know what the future holds for me because, deep down, I think of myself as less talented and capable than my peers, and probably won't stick my neck out with confidence. The hypothetical compass in my hand is spinning out of control, and although I feel like I have an idea of how to make it stop, I can’t let my thoughts go there.
“I love you, Flo.”
Those three little words are enough to make my chest tighten and throat sting.
I’m supposed to be the grown-up here, the steady one, the one who loves this kid just enough so he feels cared for, but not so much that the separation will be a problem for either of us.
I try to tell myself that Leo doesn’t understand what he’s saying.
He’s throwing around the sentence because he doesn’t fully get its meaning, but I have a feeling that’s not entirely true.
Will Evan be mad? I know this wasn't what he wanted. He was hoping for my relationship with Leo to remain professional.
I want to tell him that I love him too, but that feels like a promise I can’t keep. So instead, I brush his tousled hair from his forehead and say, “That’s very sweet of you, buddy.” Guilt swarms me, though, and I open my mouth again. “And—”
A sudden loud buzzing sound can be heard from the house, followed by a few screams. God, Mae and Poppy have probably blown the blender up.
“Milkshakes!” Leo yells as he jumps up.
“I bet they’ve got ice cream up the walls.”
But as Leo begins running towards the house, full of excitement, he trips over his own feet, landing on his arm, and his loud and pained wail rolls over me like I’m being doused in ice-cold water.