Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Naomi
S am pulls his belt buckle open with his lips still pressed to mine.
I thought I felt a hint of hesitation before he gave into taking his pants off.
And when he took his shirt off.
And at every step of the way since the first moment we met.
But he keeps going. So I allow him to lead me.
I know this is a lot for him. He’s got a lot on the line. But so do I.
It’s not the same, I tell myself.
Mine might be worse.
Because while he’s falling into the arms of his best friend’s little sister, something that seems to scare him enough to make him hide, I’m taking the heart of a good, kind man and using it for what could be some sort of rebound as I crawl from the ashes of my ruined life.
He’s a lifeline.
One that feels really, really good.
I feel safe with Sam.
But I know damn well he’s not safe with me.
This man needs a trustworthy, dependable woman to settle down with and start a life together.
A family.
And the only thing I’ve ever succeeded in settling was the tab at the end of taco night with the girls.
Panic rises in my chest as I allow my brain to drag me down a dark path to a future where I’ve let this guy fall for me, let him ruin his working relationship with his best friend, and then I’ve just bailed. Because that’s what I do.Because online I’m fun and pretty and perfect but in real life, I’m nothing. My own father never wanted me.
“Sam.” I start to pull away, but he holds me close. “Sam, maybe this…”
“Tell me to leave,” Sam says into my collarbone as he holds me against his body.
I shake my head. I’m never going to do that.
“Naomi, I’m standing here in my underwear with a hard-on that’s been screaming your name for months now. If I’m leaving, I need to do it now.”
I shake my head again.
Fuck it.
“Don’t leave.”
“Oh? And what should I do instead?”
I can barely hear myself think over the blood pounding in my ears. This Sam, this unleashed, wild Sam, the one that only seems to come out at times like these, I’m addicted to this guy. Nice guy Sam is great, but this guy? He’s the stuff my dreams are made of.
“Take them off,” I hear myself say, trying not to yell over the noise in my head.
He obeys, and it’s all I can do not to fall to my knees and admire him. Taste him.
His arms keep me upright, though, and I feel him backing us toward the wall. I nearly trip over a pile of unpacked shoes as I stumble backwards.
When my back hits the firmness of the wall, Sam pins me there with his hands pressing my shoulders. His hard cock juts into my stomach, and it’s all I can do not to look down.
Instead, I hold his gaze. Ready for whatever he’s about to offer me.
But nothing could prepare me for his next words.
“Are you filming us right now?”
It takes a full breath for me to process. When I do, I stammer, “What?” even though we both know damn well I heard him.
“Are. You. Filming. Us?” Sam’s voice is a growl as he presses his forehead to mine. “Is that why you wanted to be in your room so badly?”
It hadn’t even crossed my mind, but I understand why he’s asking.
“What if I was?” I conjure up all the bravery I can find and inject the words with confidence.
Sam doesn't even flinch. “You told me before that you watch the video of us fooling around, and when it’s over, you close your eyes and imagine me fucking you.”
My heart is racing, and I’m pretty sure I’m dripping down my inner thighs right now. I take a breath and pray my voice doesn’t come out as a squeak. “That’s right.”
He pulls his head away from mine just enough to look down at me, his eyes dark and those suckable lips twisted into a sly smirk. “I just thought that if you happened to be filming us again,” he takes a step forward, his cock sinking deeper into the flesh of my stomach, “we better give you what you need this time.”
Oh, sweet baby Jesus.
His words light a fire in me that starts between my soaked thighs and shoots straight out of my mouth. Consequences be damned. “You want to watch us fuck just as badly as I do.”
His smirk deepens. “I want to fuck you.”
“And then you want to watch.”
He pauses for a moment, pupils dilated, tongue grazing the back of his lower teeth.
“I’d watch.”
All I want in this moment is to match his confidence and respond as the sassy, fearless woman that I was back in my apartment the first time we were together, but my voice cracks. “Well, I’ll just hit record, then.”
My words break the spell. Sam takes a step back and then another.
It’s warm in here, but I feel a chill at the loss of his heat.
He glances around the room, and I panic, thinking he’s going to bail.
Instead, he pins me with his gaze. “Where are you filming from?”
With all the confidence I can muster, I cross the room and grab my phone from where I tossed it on thechair. “I’ve never filmed in this room, but…” I glance around until my eyes fall on a low dresser across from the bed. “Here should work.”
I lean my phone up against a large conch shell on the top of the dresser with the screen facing forward so I can properly frame the shot.
“Will you sit on the bed so I can see if you’re in frame?”
Looking as if he can’t believe he’s agreeing to this, Sam walks over and sits naked on the edge of the bed.
I consider the image on the screen. “Too far. ”
The dresser makes the world's loudest screech as I start to pull it away from the wall and Sam jumps up to help me lift it. I can’t meet his eyes as we carry the dresser across the room, both buck naked, and situate it next to the bed.
He climbs back on and reclines in the center.
It’s perfect.
I flip the phone around so I can film with the powerful back camera and hit record.
And then I freeze.
This is not the first time I’ve gotten freaky for the camera, obviously, but it’s the first time I’ve performed with a partner when both of us know what’s going on.
I never expected to be feeling stage fright.
“Come here,” Sam says, reading my mind.
“I just?—”
“Come here,” he says again, more firmly this time.
I obey, crawling over to meet him.
“You’re not camera shy,” he murmurs as he pulls my body close and drops his mouth into the crook of my neck.
I shake my head.
“So what’s going on?”
I shake my head again, unable to find the right words. “It’s just never been like this before.”
“Consensual?” Sam asks with a soft laugh.
I smile at his joke, even though it’s not really a joke at all. “I guess. I don’t know. This just feels important. It never felt like that with anyone else.”
“I don’t want you thinking about anyone else right now.”
“Oh, I’m not. I’m definitely not.” Gun to my head, I couldn’t conjure up the name of any former partners right now, let alone their faces. Not with this man wrapped around me.
“Then what’s going on?”
“When I make videos like this for myself,” I start, face flushing bright red in anticipation of the deep, dark secret I’m about to reveal. “I like to be surprised by what happens. But now that I feel like I’m making this video for you, I’m worried I won’t be good enough.”
Sam lifts his face from my neck and presses me onto my back on the bed with one strong hand on my ribcage, palm right between my breasts. “You could never be anything but perfect.”
I have to close my eyes briefly as the genuine care of his statement radiates out of his gaze and leaves me breathless.
“But you said you like to be surprised by what happens,” he goes on, “I think that's something I can manage.”
I have zero doubt that’s true. Everything he’s done since he stepped into my room this afternoon has been a complete surprise.
I’m still woefully unprepared for his next move.
Sam pulls me up to my knees, my body following willingly, a puppet in his arms. He situates himself kneeling behind me with his knees together and pulls me right against his body, thighs splayed over his, my back pressed to his chest. He holds me there with one strong arm around my torso.
I’m barely breathing as I wait for him to touch me. I know it’s coming. I can feel his other hand curling around my body, tracing a slow trail across my skin.
My eyes drop closed and somehow, he knows.
“Eyes open. Look at the camera.”
My eyes pop open and find my pink phone directly in front of where I lean against Sam’s body, knees splayed.
This is going to be one hell of a shot.
I get wetter just thinking about Sam watching it later.
As soon as that thought crosses my mind, my hesitation melts away.
I’m performing for him now.