Chapter 33 Elizabeth
ELIZABETH
The smell of burnt coffee filled my tiny New York apartment. I glared at the offending coffee maker like it had personally betrayed me, but considering I’d been so distracted that I forgot to put water in it, I had no one to blame but myself.
I sighed and rubbed my temples.
This was my life now. I was barely functioning, drowning in work, and waiting for forgiveness from Logan. Ha. That was never coming.
My phone buzzed on the counter. Vanessa’s name flashed across the screen. I groaned because I already knew that it was going to be another crisis, another fire to put out, another way for her to remind me that even with my big promotion, I was still just a glorified problem solver.
But before I could answer, a knock at the door interrupted me.
I frowned. No one knocked on my door in New York. I swung it open and nearly dropped my phone.
My brother grinned, leaning against the doorframe like he did this all the time. “Hey, sis.”
I blinked. “You’re in New York?”
“Yeah, wild concept, huh?” He smirked and then stepped aside. “Oh, and I brought someone.”
My stomach flipped as a familiar figure stepped forward, beaming.
“Sarah?” My best friend, my New Orleans partner-in-crime, stood there, looking entirely too pleased with herself.
“Surprise!” she said, breezing past me into the apartment.
I turned back to Jake, who just shrugged. “Yeah, so… we’re dating.”
I gawked. “What?!”
Sarah laughed. “Okay, rude. At least pretend to be happy for us.”
I floundered for a response, but all I could do was stare between them. “Since when?” I finally managed.
Jake rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh… a little after you left New Orleans.”
I narrowed my eyes. “And neither of you told me?”
“We were going to!” Sarah said quickly. “But then you were busy, and Jake said you’d probably just schedule a Zoom meeting to discuss it.”
I whipped around to Jake, who dared to look amused.
“Oh, come on,” he said. “You did schedule my twenty-fifth birthday party like it was a quarterly shareholder meeting.”
I groaned, rubbing my face. “I was trying to be efficient.”
Jake walked past me into the kitchen, shaking his head. “Efficient. Right. That’s one way to put it.”
I shut the door and faced them, crossing my arms. “Okay. You’re dating. You’re here. What’s this actually about?”
Jake exchanged a glance with Sarah, who took that as her cue to casually wander into my living room and start flipping through my mail.
Jake exhaled. “Elizabeth… you need to get your life together.”
I scoffed. “Excuse me?”
“I mean it,” he said, stepping closer. “You’ve been so busy fixing everything for everyone else that you’ve completely forgotten to live your own life.”
I stiffened. “That’s not true.”
“Really?” Jake arched a brow. “When was the last time you did anything that wasn’t work? When’s the last time you did something just because you wanted to?”
“I—”
“And let’s talk about Logan,” he said.
My stomach dropped.
Jake shook his head. “You loved him. And you let him go because you were too scared to lose control.”
“That’s not—” I stopped myself, voice faltering.
I looked at Sarah for support, but she just raised an eyebrow, as if to say she agreed with Jake.
“I was doing what was best,” I said, but it sounded weak even to me.
Jake exhaled. “For whom?”
The weight of his words pressed down on me. I had spent years making sure everything around me ran smoothly. Making sure Jake had opportunities, that my job was secure, and that Logan’s career didn’t fall apart.
And for what? I was exhausted. And alone. Before I could respond, my phone buzzed again. Sure enough, it was Vanessa.
Jake glanced at the screen. “Let me guess. Another work emergency? Yet another scandal with one of your clients that only you can handle?”
I swallowed, looking down at the text: Fix this or you’re fired.
The words felt different now. I had spent my whole life believing that control was security. That if I just worked hard enough, planned well enough, handled everything just right, then I could keep the worst from happening.
But in chasing that illusion, I’d given up more than I ever realized.
I’d said no to spontaneous trips to New Orleans, to friendships that didn’t fit neatly into my calendar.
I’d skipped birthdays, canceled dates, rescheduled real life in favor of the version I thought I could manage.
I’d buried dreams that didn’t lead to stable outcomes.
I’d built a life around predictability and called it success.
And Logan.
Logan was the last thing I lost to my need for control.
The biggest, brightest, most unexpected part of my life, and I pushed him away because he didn’t fit the plan.
Because he was messy, and loud, and honest. And real.
Because I was afraid of what it meant to choose something I couldn’t manage or measure.
Now I could see all the sacrifices for what they were. Not steps toward safety. Just evidence of all the life I hadn’t lived.
Logan was gone.
And no matter how hard I worked, I couldn’t fix that.
My phone buzzed again, and it was Vanessa calling.
I took a slow breath. Then, without overthinking it, I picked up my phone and hit the decline button.
Jake’s eyebrows shot up. “Did you just hang up on your boss?”
“That wasn’t smart,” I said. “Vanessa didn’t deserve that.”
I dialed her number.
She picked up on the first ring. “Elizabeth, I need you to—”
“I quit.”
When Vanessa finally spoke, her voice was tight. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” I swallowed hard, adrenaline rushing through me. “I’m done.”
Vanessa spluttered, launching into a tirade about “irresponsibility” and “career suicide” and “I made you what you are.”
But I didn’t hear any of it. Because for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t listening.
I hung up. Then I turned to Jake, with a shaky exhale. My pulse was still racing. “Well. That was… terrifying.”
Sarah grinned. “Proud of you.”
Jake smirked. “So what’s next?”
I opened my mouth. Then I shut it. Because for the first time in forever, I didn’t know.
And for the first time in forever, that didn’t scare me.