Chapter 10 #2
Dyer takes a deep breath, an unreadable expression passing over his face.
“We’re still working on that…There is a lot of information in the USB and we need to keep it protected.
We need to keep her protected. Once we are able to gain some leverage or some breathing room, we can make a decision.
But we need to ask you something else, Nathan. ”
I’m not sure I like where this is going. “What is it?”
“Claire has no living family members, at least none that we can safely place her with. And at the moment, the system is overloaded with kids needing temporary placement. Would you or Fletcher be willing to take her in, or do you know of someone she can stay with in the meantime?” Carr looks at me with a pleading look.
My voice is tight when I respond. “How is this a better alternative for her? If we’re going to be as deep into this as you say, you really want us to bring her into that? Because that’s exactly what’s going to happen. She is going to end up in harm’s way if they figure out it’s us involved.”
“Stop talking about me as if I’m not here!” Claire snaps and stomps over to where we’re talking. “I should be able to have a say in this just as much as all of you.”
“Claire, sweetheart, you—”
Before Dyer can finish his train of thought, she cuts him off.
“Don’t. Don’t act like you know what’s best for me.
I managed to get out; I managed to escape all on my own and get help.
Nobody else did that. Nobody else bothered to look for me when I went missing, so I looked out for myself. Besides, I can help.”
Carr, Dyer, and I exchange looks. She has a point, but that’s all the more reason to keep her out of this.
She should be able to start healing without the threat of furthering her trauma.
But she also reminds me of Thea…of Dylan.
They fought despite their trauma. Thea is still fighting.
And although it isn’t the same thing, it counts for something.
The last thing I want to do is spook her.
Something tells me if she doesn’t get her way, she’ll find a way to make it happen.
Whatever happened to her has hardened her in a way I’m not sure I’ve seen any teenage girl.
In fact, this might be a good thing. Backtracking on my previous objection, I take a slow step toward her.
“We know you did. You’ve obviously got a strength we don’t see every day.
But you need to understand that this is bigger than just getting away from him.
We need to be diligent in how we take him down, to make sure nobody else ends up like you.
There’s a good chance that if we fail, and he gets his hands on you again, you won’t survive.
I’m not saying I’m making the decision for you, but you need to be aware of the risks.
And if you do decide to come and stay with me, we’re gonna have to lay down some ground rules.
If we’re going to stop him, we all need to be on the same side, which means you don’t pull any vigilante shit. ”
She flinches before she hardens her gaze, and Carr and Dyer start to protest, but they don’t get to have it both ways.
They can’t ask me to take her in, simultaneously putting her in harm’s way, and then not agree with her helping.
“She’s right, she can help. If she’s provided us with this information, she has to be reliable in other ways.
She has more firsthand knowledge than any of us, even with how long we’ve been doing this.
There is no sheltering her from this fight.
Something tells me she will find a way to get involved regardless of what we say or do… ”
“You’re damn right about that. I don’t expect you to coddle me. You know I can contribute.”
I take a moment to assess her again. “Alright,” I say finally.
“You want in, you’ve got to follow the plan.
You listen to my rules and respect them.
If you have an idea, I’m willing to hear it and make it happen only if it’s reasonable.
I’m not always going to be around, so you’re going to stay in the house, or with my…
” What is Thea to me? She’s not my girlfriend, as much as I want her to be—and even that’s too light of a term for what I feel for her.
“Roommate. When we get back, I’ll have her take you shopping to get you set up with a new wardrobe and cell phone. ”
“I don’t need a babysitter.” She clenches her jaw. “And I sure as shit don’t need to be treated like a charity case.”
She’s got her walls built high; I imagine she had no choice in order to survive.
I can appreciate the fire and I don’t care if she talks to me that way.
If she needs me to be her punching bag, fine.
She’s likely not comfortable being around males, even if she covers her fear well.
But I won’t tolerate disrespect to Thea. “How old are you?”
“Fifteen.” Fuck, she’s too young to be this jaded already, but I can’t even blame her. “My roommate is twenty-six, not much older than you. She won’t treat you like a kid,
unless you act like one. She’s also recovering from some of her own shit, not the same as you, so maybe you two can help each other.
And if you need someone to talk to about what you’ve been through, her best friend is a good source.
They can both teach you how to live as close to normal as possible.
” I pause, watching her closely. “I’m not asking you to be grateful, because you clearly have your own feelings on this arrangement.
I’m just asking that you don’t make me regret extending this offer and going to bat for you.
You don’t have to like me, but you will respect her, otherwise you’re out and back here, got it?
” It’s harsh after what she’s dealt with…
but Thea is my world, and her emotional capacity doesn’t need to be depleted any more.
I’m going out on a limb by making this decision without her.
We may not be a couple and it may be my house, but she has just as much of a right to agree or disagree with this as I do.
The only reason I’m not giving her the choice…
is because I think it might help her heal.
I’m hoping it gives her the space to work through things in her own way.
If having someone else around—someone who can relate to trauma in one way or the other, but isn’t going to ask her to fix everything—helps, then it’s worth taking the risk.
Claire is a stranger. She isn’t me. She isn’t Dylan.
She isn’t Fletcher. There’s a stigma that there is an obligation to care and help and say what someone wants to hear when you’re close with them.
Claire is the perfect solution for that.
She nods. “I understand.”