Chapter 46
Six months ago, I left Daniel with a note. We said all there was to say and by the time he woke the next morning, I was gone. The way he kissed me, the way we made love … it was goodbye and we both knew it.
Theo wasn’t supposed to leave for another day, but everything about last night was a goodbye. So, of course, next to me is an empty spot … with a note. I laugh.
“Oh … Karma.” I hug the folded note to my chest and continue to laugh through my tears.
Three Nevers
1. I’ve never been so fucking scared in my life as I was the day I laid eyes on you.
2. I never imagined loving the feel of something more than the wood and strings of my guitar, until I touched you.
3. I’ve written fifteen songs, but NEVER has any one person inspired my words.
Truth: You are my greatest song.
Theo
“Fuck!” I leap from the most pathetic excuse for a mattress and rip the tangled ugly sheet from my body.
No to space.
No to freewill.
No to respecting his need to leave.
And I’m not even sorry.
I thought I wanted Daniel to let me go. But what if I wanted him to chase me to the airport in some grand gesture of his undying love for me? What if I wanted to be his greatest song? Why wasn’t I his song?
Leggings never cooperate when you need them to. “Come … on!”
I define hideous, but there’s no time for glamour before I’m out the door.
“Sorry, sir,” I apologize to the poshly-dressed gentleman on the pavement when I bump into him, but I need his wallet.
I’m going to Hell—probably on a Schwinn with a flat tire, but hell nonetheless.
I’ll replace the money and post the wallet back to him when I can.
That has to count for something. It takes me almost twenty minutes to find a taxi.
Does everyone in this geometrically-obsessed city own a car? Where are all the bloody tourists?
I spit the address to the driver three times before he understands it.
Apparently, he doesn’t think I’m speaking English.
Knobhead has Theo’s honed people skills.
Except, I am Theo’s song, so his complete lack of southern hospitality is forgiven.
I bet Knobhead can’t hold a tune any more than he can hold in his beer belly.
“Can you hurry?”
He lifts his cap and scratches his head then repositions it as he gives me a confused look in the mirror. I roll my eyes. One of us speaks perfect English and the other is a knobhead.
I don’t have a speech, and begging may be involved, but Theo cannot leave me.
It doesn’t matter what he’s facing. I will walk into the storm with him.
There’s no way I can wait for another life that we’re not guaranteed, a Heaven that no one has seen, an eternity that I can’t see beyond the horizon in front of me.
Now.
We have now, and I want to share every breath of it with Theodore Reed.
“Just …” I slip a few notes from the stolen wallet. “I’m getting out here.”
“We’re almost there.” The cabbie points to the red light like it’s not his fault.
“Unlock the door!” I bang against it.
He shakes his head but the lock clicks open, so I don’t care what he thinks of me as I jump out and run toward my life.
“Theo!” The desperation in my voice earns me a few concerned looks from people on their porches and in their gardens. I’m a few streets away from the house; my call to him may be a little premature. “Theo!” Okay, I can’t stop.
His truck is gone, but he’s not. He can’t be. The door is locked. I pound my fists against it. “Theo!”
Where is he? Last night was goodbye to me, not Tybee. He’s not leaving until tomorrow. “Theo!”
Bang, bang, bang!
A hand touches my shoulder. “Theo!” I whip around ready to jump into his arms.
“Scarlet, what’s going on?”
“Nolan.” I grab his shirt and shake him because my emotions have shattered all of my control. “Where is he?”
Drawing in his eyebrows, he wraps his hands around my wrists. “He’s gone. What’s wrong?”
“Gone? Gone where?” Every word flies out of my mouth on a labored breath; each one feels like the last.
“Nashville, I suppose.”
“No. No … he’s not leaving until tomorrow.”
“I woke up to this text.” He holds up his mobile.
I snatch it from his hand.
Theo: Everything is out. Taking off. Thanks for the job.
“What are you doing?” Nolan reaches for his mobile.
I turn my back to him, moving my fingers over the screen. Desperate. Out of control.
Nolan: Where are you? Come back! It’s Scarlet. I love you. I NEED you. PLEASE!!!!!
“Scarlet—”
“Shh!” I can’t listen to anyone speak. The only voice I want to hear is Theo’s. “Come on!” I shake the mobile as if it will expedite his response. My patience is nonexistent, so I call the number. It’s goes to voicemail and says the mailbox has not been setup. “Fuck fuck fuckity fuck!!”
Nolan: Turn around. I’m at the house … our house. Come back to me. I’ll do anything. I’ll go anywhere. PLEASE! I love you … God … I can’t even breathe.
I watch the line at the top. It goes over halfway then stops.
Failed to deliver
“No.” I try to deliver it again, and again, I get the same message. The first message was delivered. He’s avoiding me.
“Scarlet.” Nolan overpowers me, taking back his mobile. “What are you doing?” He reads the texts I tried to send.
“I love him,” I whisper.
Nolan nods. “I see that. He’ll call back.”
I shake my head. “He won’t. He’s gone.”
Nolan sighs, the sympathetic kind that makes me feel like a lost puppy. “Do you need money to get to Nashville?”
My gaze shifts from Nolan’s phone to his concern-etched face. “He’s not going to Nashville.”
“That’s where he told me—”
“No. He’s doesn’t want anyone to know where he’s going. That’s how I know he’s not going there.”
The lines in his face deepen. “I’m sorry. I’ll keep trying to reach him.”
I press my palm to the door, like I used to press it to Theo’s chest. “I want to go inside.”
Nolan unlocks the door and opens it. “Take your time. I’m going to check on a few things in the garage.”
It’s as if there’s something invisible stopping me from going inside.
All I can do is stand at the threshold and stare at the kitchen were we shared our first encounter.
I can’t believe he said I scared him. All I detected was this instant hatred.
Theodore Reed found life in me that I never knew existed, like the gardener who sees a delicate sprout in the otherwise barren soil.
I knew it the moment he locked me in my room.
Something inside of me screamed, “This! This is what I’ve been missing. ”
“Uh … you can go inside.” Nolan chuckles as he walks back toward the house.
I shake my head. “I changed my mind.”
He grabs the door handle. “May I?”
Swallowing the emotion attached to every memory of my time on Tybee Island, I nod.
Shut.
Lock.
Final.
“Need a ride back to town?”
I nod again as a slow numbness encapsulates my body.
Nolan opens the car door for me. “Too many memories?”
I shake my head and get in the car. As he walks around to the driver’s side, the only thought that goes through my head and my heart is: not enough memories.
*
I said I wouldn’t wait for him. I lied. My new profession will be waiting for Theodore.
Maybe I need some Tolle or Dyer. Yimin …
I need Yimin, but he’s in Shanghai for the next eight months.
His niece is taking care of his beach house and my plants while he’s gone.
Just as well. I don’t have room for them anyway.
However, he gave me his juicer and bags and bags of herbs to brew nasty tea, so there’s that.
Alone. That’s what I am. I came to Savannah to be alone, so why is it such a disheartening discovery that I now have what I thought I wanted?
“Ruby.”
I stop before I even get the key out of my door.
Oscar Stone makes my picnic chair look like a throne with his bold presence, expensive suit, unwavering confidence, and black beanie.
He made the black beanie an “in” thing long before The Edge of U2 made it his mark.
Oscar also makes the peppered goatee look sexy in spite of his age.
My dad has always turned heads for as long as I could recognize what it meant to actually turn a head.
He would die before he took credit for my sexual inhibitions, but it was years of hearing women in his bedroom that led me to find sex a mystery I had to solve.
Anything that caused a human to make those noises was worth a little research.
Sadly, it was just sex for Oscar. My mum was the love of his life, and no other woman, aside from me, has even come close to touching his heart.
“No.” I shake my head. “What have you done?” I jerk the key from the doorknob and shut it before falling back against it.
“I thought you’d be more excited to see me.”
“Why?” I continue to shake my head. “You could have been free.”
He lifts his hands then drops them back to the white plastic arm rests. “I am free.”
“You’re a fugitive. If they come for you, I will tell them it was me. I won’t let you go back … for even longer if they catch you.”
“You worry too much, Ruby.”
A sarcastic laugh rumbles from my chest. “I did. But not when I came here. I let go of it all.”
“Daniel said you’re getting better.” He clenches his jaw. “You should have told me.” The muscles in his face tense, matching the pain in his voice.
“I didn’t want you to worry about something you couldn’t do anything about. I didn’t want you worrying about—”
“The only family I have left?”
I nod. “Why? If he told you I was better, then … why?” I hate that he gave up his chance for true freedom for me. I add it to the long list of things Oscar Stone has done for me that has made me feel guilty for all my wrong doings. Wrong doings that he taught me.
“I was sitting in a cell for a heart that belonged to my Ruby’s love. I was there so you could have a true forever.”
Oh the guilt …
“So you can imagine my surprise and disappointment when Daniel told me you left him.”
My name is Scarlet Stone, and one day I will break away from the shadows of the man who raised me. Until then—I will make him proud.
My gaze finds the floor between us as I try to let go of the guilt as fast as he dishes it out.
“The person who died because they didn’t get that heart did not deserve to die.
But Daniel is a good man, and he didn’t deserve to die either.
It doesn’t matter whether we’re together or not, he belongs on this earth. And I will always love him.”
“But you’ve found another?”
I nod.
“When do I get to meet him? When do I get to meet the man who took you away from Daniel … away from me?”
“Don’t …” I close my eyes. “Don’t do this.”
He leans forward, my bargain chair squeaking beneath him as he rests his forearms on his knees. “I’m not doing anything, Ruby, but watching out for what’s mine.”
“Well, I don’t need you to watch out for me anymore.”
He chuckles, twisting his neck to one side and then the other. “From the looks of this place, I’d say you need a lot.”
“I’m paying rent—legally. I have a legit job that pays my bills. I have a bed …”
He glances over his shoulder into the bedroom. Then he returns a narrow-eyed expression.
I shrug. “It’s much more comfortable than it looks.” It’s really not.
“So you’re straight now?”
“Yes.” Okay, there was the first-class upgrade and minor pickpocket incident … but other than that …
Oscar nods slowly, studying me like he always does.
“Can I give you a lift to the airport?”
He smirks, eyeing my bike in the corner of the room. “Well, I don’t know, Ruby. Can you?”
Bugger!
I sigh, clenching my teeth to hide my pout. “It was code for you’re not staying here. And if you must know, no, I can’t give you a lift to the airport. However, I know without a doubt that you have enough cash on you to buy a car to drive yourself there or call a taxi.”
“I do. But, since I’m not leaving right away, I’m going to have to use some of it to buy my own mattress and…” he smirks “…a matching folding chair to put next to yours. Maybe even a TV—”
“No.” I shake my head. “No TVs. No electronics.” I nod to the phone hanging from the wall in the kitchen. “That’s it.”
He twists his lips and crosses his arms over his chest. “Fine. Now … when do I get to meet this new bloke?”
“You don’t.” I dump my handbag on the ground and sulk into the kitchen for a glass of water. “He’s gone.”
“Gone?” Oscar leans up against the fridge.
I turn, taking several long gulps, buying a few extra seconds to gain my composure. “Yes. He had to leave.”
“I see. When will he return?”
I shrug.
“He’s coming back. Isn’t he?”
I shrug again, swallowing back the emotions that still loom at the surface, raw and vulnerable.
He studies me some more. No one makes me squirm with a single look quite like Oscar Stone. Okay, it’s possible Theodore Reed had a similar effect.
“Another day? We’ll talk about it another day?”
Biting my lips together, fighting to keep my composure that’s ready to evaporate, I nod.