Beautiful …
In the middle of the night, a half-stifled cry jerks my body from sleep.
“Help …” It takes a few labored breaths to realize the agonizing plea is mine.
I broke a couple of bones. They repaired my ankle with some pins and a metal plate.
I’m on pain medication. Why does it still hurt like a motherfucker, making me nauseous with its throbbing intensity?
Theo jumps from the chair and runs out the door, returning with a nurse. He stayed. For a brief moment that realization is its own analgesic.
The nurse increases my pain medication. “This should help you sleep again.” She smiles. Why is she smiling? I want to punch it straight off her face. Clearly the pain has me a little on edge.
When she leaves, I turn my attention to Theo, trying to hide my grimace. “You stayed.”
He leans down and rests his cheek on my hand for a few seconds before brushing his beard back and forth across it several times. Then he presses his lips to it, letting them linger—easing my pain. “You’re mine. Where else would I be?”
I think my dad is falling in love with the woman who killed your mum. My heart claims some of the pain. I’m not sure the meds will ease that.
“I’m worried you’re going to sue the home owner for your accident.”
An actual smile tries to overtake my grimace.
“Nellie offered to pay for all your medical expenses. She’s obviously taken a real liking to you.”
I close my eyes. “That’s … generous of her.”
His lips press to mine. “Sleep, beautiful … just sleep.”
Beautiful …
I will always love you, Theodore Reed.
*
I’m in bed with the devil. Again.
Oscar insisted I come back to Savannah to recover. Theo insisted I stay in Lexington.
I’m back at my flat in Savannah. Oscar won. Nellie paid to have a private jet transport me “home.” Theo arrived a day later. Fuming.
My instinct to kick and scream, insisting I stay in Lexington, was trodden by a lovely air cast and crutches. I still had a verbal tantrum. Oscar Stone is his own kind of law. Law number one: no tantrums.
Oscar’s bed is gone, but he left the massage chair, and I can’t deny my gratitude. The rest of my flat has been completely furnished as well. Thanks to Nellie Moore—the devil.
“It’s not a bribe.”
I laugh.
Oscar answers my sarcasm with a reprimanding scowl as he hands me a cup of tea. He takes a seat on my new sofa. Theo took off as soon as Oscar arrived. Two alphas in one room is not a good idea.
“Nel is not like that. She’d turn herself in tomorrow if that’s what you really want her to do.”
“You mean, if I’m going to tell Theo.”
He takes a sip of his tea.
“Do you love her?”
Oscar stares into the cup, eyes squinted a bit. “I would miss her if we weren’t together.”
“Can those eight words be decoded to mean love?”
“Do you miss Daniel?”
Everything always goes back to Daniel. He seems to be Oscar’s favorite measurement for my emotions.
“You said you love him and that you’ll always love him. But do you miss him?”
Now, I stare at my tea. It’s quite mesmerizing.
He clears his throat. I look up as he glances at his watch. “Your Mr. Reed has been gone for a little over an hour. Do you miss him?”
“Yes.” Dear. God. I can’t believe how quickly that answer came out of my mouth. There was no thought, it was instinct.
“Well, there you have it.”
Yes, there I have it. Oscar cares for Nellie very deeply. If she went to prison, he would feel how I felt when Theo left for Lexington and I never thought I’d see him again.
This man spent a decade in prison for me. He’s my family, my blood. My love for him is eternal. But Theo has become my life.
“If I tell him, he could try and kill her. That’s worst case.
Then there’s all of the other scenarios that feel nearly as devastating: I don’t tell him and my cancer gets worse, I tell him and he doesn’t kill her, but you and I can never see each other again because the people we’ve chosen to be with can’t ever be together. ”
I shake my head. “There’s no good answer. So tell me what to do.” This is not me. Why can’t I make this decision?
My name is Scarlet Stone, and I don’t like indecisiveness. I make a decision and stick with it. Consequences be damned.
He puts his cup down on the coffee table and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I can’t make this decision for you.”
“You make decisions for me all the time! I’m here because you decided I needed to be here.
I stole a heart because you decided I needed to save Daniel.
I’ve lived with the guilt over you going to prison for a crime that I committed because you decided my freedom was more important than yours.
All the time! You make decisions for me all the time!
Now, when I need you to make a decision, you don’t have a bloody opinion on the matter? !”
My heart pounds in my ankle as tears race down my face. Never in my life have I been such a clusterfuck of emotions, crying all the damn time. I’m lost and out of control, scared, and confused.
He stands and grabs a handkerchief from his coat pocket. “My love for you will not waiver one bit with your decision.” Bending down, he puts the handkerchief in my hand and whispers in my ear, “The only person I truly cannot live without in this world is you.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I hold my breath and all the sobs ready to explode as he kisses my cheek. A few seconds later, the door closes and I fall to pieces.
*
The door creaks open. My puffy eyes feel like they could creak trying to open as well.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Theo closes the door behind him.
“Where did you go?” I rub my eyes and my throbbing sinuses.
“For a drive. Have you been crying?”
“Yes. I’m rather emotional right now. I hate being so incapacitated. It took me ten minutes to make it to the toilet and back for a wee that took less than ten seconds.”
“Sorry, I wasn’t here.” He kneels down next to my chair and rests his head on my good leg. His desire to feel close to me, always touching me like he needs the reminder that I’m still here—it tightens the noose around my heart.
“I can’t have children.”
He doesn’t move.
“I’m not implying anything. Just stating a fact.”
He nods slowly against my leg. “I’ve been told I snore.”
My finger traces the lines of his face. His eyes close.
“My first time having sex, I faked four orgasms. Apparently, faking one is believable, two is questionable, by four, the bloke loses his erection, runs out the door shoving his pork sword back in his trousers, and never calls again.”
Theo smiles, eyes still shut. “You know if a horse is cold by feeling behind its ears. Cold behind the ears. Cold horse.”
“I have no gag reflex, like … at all.”
I’m not sure which I love more: Theo singing or him laughing. Right now, his laughter feels like a fuzzy blanket on a rainy day, with a cup of tea, a handful of Jammie Dodgers, and a good book.
He sits up and interlaces his fingers behind his head. “I have some money.”
“Yeah? Did you steal it?”
“No.” He smirks. “I want to build a house.”
I shrug. “Well, you’ve got the skills.”
“I want to build it for you—for us. Maybe buy a plant or two and possibly a dog … a goat … a horse.”
Karma. Karma. Karma. What am I going to do with you?
My world is right there. Something so far beyond my dreams, something completely perfect, it’s on a silver platter.
Yet it’s out of my reach by the width of an ocean.
And all I have is a boat with a single broken paddle and a bloody huge hole in the bottom.
I’ll never be able to cross it. Ever. I’ll be left here, in the distance, watching it disappear into the sunset.
“And Braxton Ames?”
His jaw clenches as he swallows hard. “He’ll have to build his own house.”
He chose me over revenge. He just … chose me.
“Where are you going to build our house?”
Theo smiles so big my heart’s reminded it never stood a chance.
“My grandfather left my father twenty acres of land in North Carolina, just outside of Asheville. It has 365 degrees of the best mountain views. The beach is a half-day drive away.”
“How are you going to fit building a house into your tour schedule?”
Taking my hand, he presses my index finger to his lips, giving it a soft kiss. “I might stick to a private concert for one.”
The decision has been made. I will take Nellie’s secret to my grave, even if that happens sooner rather than later.
Oscar gets his chance at happiness. Theo lets go of his past. I get as many breaths with this man as I can possibly steal.
And if the burden becomes too much to bear, I’ll get to die in the arms of the man who I was put on this earth to love.
“When do we move in?”
He chuckles. “In about a year, if I do everything myself.”
“And the interim?”
“We rent someplace nearby.”
“How do we make money?”
He shrugs. “I do some side jobs to supplement us if my savings dips too low. You most likely lift a few wallets when we run errands or look for shopping companion jobs.”
“You know me so well.” I laugh.
“Say, yes.”
Jump, Scarlet. Jump off the fucking cliff.
“I can’t have children.” This needs to be iterated. I need him to understand this reality.
“I want you.”
Tears fill my eyes. “I have cancer.”
“I. Want. You.” He leans forward, sliding his hands through my hair while pressing his lips to mine.