29
I’m sitting in the lecture hall, watching the doors and praying to see Johanna’s slight figure slip through them. The professor approaches the stage and I sigh sadly, my head being crammed up with thoughts. Only after Liam dropped me off at campus, have I been able to breath regularly again.
I recall the horrific sights from last night, as well as Liam’s comforting caresses, until I finally managed to relax my tortured body and fall asleep.
The professor starts talking, and in a flash my brain locks away the horror and makes room for all the new information. I take notes on my laptop, and when I see that Johanna hasn’t made it to our second class, I spend my break writing her paper that’s due today.
Johanna enters the hall during fifth period and takes a seat in the back row. She looks refreshed and happy as she starts copying from the whiteboard. I'm somewhat relieved.
At the end of class, she leaves first, and I run after her. She goes into the restroom and I wait outside for her impatiently. When she finally comes out, she smiles at me and opens her eyes in surprise.
“Your hair is still not in a braid.” She walks around and inspects me.
“I decided that it was time to deal with demons from my past.” I put my arm through hers and we walk to the grass. “Actually, the decision was made for me.” I put my bag down and sit down on the soft grass. She is still standing, peeking at her watch and moves impatiently from side to side.
“I would love to hear about it more,” she is still fidgeting. “But I have to go to the club. I have a dance lesson.”
“Johanna.” I jump up and grab her arm. “You don’t need that shit. I’ll get you into rehab. I’ll come back to the apartment soon and everything will be perfect again.”
“I am not an addict,” she says in shock. “And this is my choice.” She breaks away from my grasp. “There is an exciting life outside that I never knew about. I don’t want to go back to the boring life we had before.”
“Johanna, please,” I plead, but she pulls away from me quickly.
I go to my last class, looking forward to another fascinating hour that will give me a break from my disturbing thoughts. I remain in my seat after everyone else leaves, and open my email. In my inbox I find a message from the university’s tuition department. A reminder to pay the first installment. The date is etched to my memory, but the reminder that it’s getting closer makes me cringe in despair. I’m being sucked back into the black hole.
The black motorcycle is waiting for me outside and the Volvo is nowhere to be seen. “I can take a cab from now on,” I say to Liam.
“Not yet.” He waits for me to climb on and takes my hand, kisses it, and places it on his chest. “I’ll come inside for a few minutes and then I’ll go to the bar.”
“ We’ll go,” I shout so that he can hear me over the strong wind. He stops at a red light and turns his head slightly.
“I thought we agreed that you’re not going back there.”
“I don’t have a choice,” I sigh. “I have to pay the first tuition installment soon and I don’t have another job.”
The light turns green and he resumes driving. When we get inside the house, he pulls me close to him, takes my hand and trails his lips over it, with an expression I’ve never seen before. My stomach clenches and my heart goes out to him.
“You’re safe here.” He stretches out his other hand and caresses my cheek. “You don’t have to go back to the bar. Let me pay for your studies and then you can concentrate on what you love without taking any unnecessary risks.”
His offer catches me off guard. I start breathing heavily. He just offered me my dream, and all I need to do is stretch my hand out, and embrace it. But instead of excitement, I feel confusion and distress. My brain takes charge and shoots warning signals. The offer is fading away and will disappear in a minute, I'm wailing sadly on the inside, but my brain made a decision.
“I can’t take that money from you,” I say in resignation. “I’ll have to pay it back and I can’t even think about the possibility of something else tying me to you in this twisted relationship.”
“You don’t have to pay me back.” He kisses my hand again.
“Then how would there be any difference between me and any other girl working for you?” I stand up straight and for the first time in a long time I feel proud of myself. “Every time we'll go to bed I’ll think about that money, every time you'll ask me to do something I don’t want to do, I'll think about the money, and every time I'll get annoyed with you, I’ll think about the money. It’s twisted. I wouldn’t be able to live like that.”
“Then you prefer working for me in a place that makes you miserable?” he asks not understanding.
I nod my head once and smile. “Yes. I prefer pretending that the upper floor and the club don’t exist and to continue earning my money honestly as a waitress. I realize…” I fall silent and take his hand, kiss it, and look at him the same way he looked at me. “I realize that it will be hard to make my dream come true. Nearly impossible. But when I do, it will be because of me and only me.” I press against him and kiss his lips. A long, sweet kiss, full of new intense emotions.
“I think that your brain is starting to make friends with me,” he says, and his kiss excites me. My body yearns for him, I clasp my hands behind his neck, lift myself up and wrap my legs around him. He responds immediately. My back is pressed against the wall and he slides his hand under my tank-top, feels me up, and places his hand on my breast. “Didn’t I tell you not to start something I can’t finish?” he breathes heavily and combs his fingers through his ruffled hair.
“Then finish it,” I lick his earlobe and he lowers me back to my feet carefully.
“We have a meeting at the bar.” He hits the wall behind me and then smiles with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “But we’ll finish early tonight.” He takes his file from the kitchen table and we go out to the garage. “And then I’ll have a few good hours to finish up all sorts of physical stuff with you that I’m sure you didn’t learn in Sex Ed.”
“What do you mean?” I look at him curiously.
“Some things can’t be taught in theory.” He winks and sits on the motorcycle. “It will be a practical, private lesson, and if you make the honors roll, we can continue on to the next level.”
I burst out laughing but my body isn’t laughing with me. My body is on fire.
We enter the bar and Liam takes my cellphone out of his pocket. “I had it fixed,” he says as he walks over to the round table. I turn it on and see dozens of messages from my mother and a few from Johanna. I put the phone on the counter and get to work.
I'm having a hard time looking at the girls. Every time I go over to one of the tables I lower my head to avoid their looks. I feel that I’ve invaded their privacy, and when I have to serve a glass of wine to the blonde I saw in the third room, I nearly spill the red liquid all over her. She moves back at the last minute to avoid getting splashed on and I mutter an apology, clean the table, and escape back to the counter.
Liam is sitting with his two partners, I go over to them with three bottles of beer. I place them on the table and arrange napkins beside them. Liam is going over a chart he’s taken out of his file and they are nodding. He takes a napkin and winds it around his fingers, when he notices that I am still standing there, he puts it back on the table and straightens it.
“We need to talk about the day the truce will end,” Tommy says and Liam nods as he returns the sheet of paper to the file.
“Where’s that crazy German?” Mike is looking over at the door.
“Did you check your club?” Liam stands up and they do the same. “We’ll continue our conversation there.” He leaves the file on the table, takes his beer bottle and the three vanish behind the connecting door. I move closer to the door and open it a little. Loud music is coming from the enormous speakers. I just manage to see them sitting down on a sofa, without Ralph, and the door slams in my face.
All my customers have been served. I sit on the barstool and look at Charlie. He is unpacking crates of beer and putting the bottles in the refrigerator. I'm thinking of my strange man who is sitting in the club, maybe being treated to a private dance by one of the exotic dancers. The thought bothers me, and I shake my head to chase it away.
The twins go upstairs, and I watch as they disappear up the staircase. I wonder what's their difficult story. I ask Charlie for a bottle of water. He goes to the refrigerator and the front door bursts open loudly. Ten uniformed policemen wearing protective vests pour inside with their weapons drawn. They spread out in an arrowhead formation, signaling one another to go in. I hear cries of panic from the girls' tables, and see Charlie raise his hands in surrender. I look around for Liam and notice the thick green file on the round table. He left the file that he takes everywhere with him. Without thinking, I jump out of my seat, run to the table and pick up the file. I stand up only to find that two policemen are standing in front of me, aiming their weapons in my direction.
I glance to the sides quickly. Two policemen are cuffing some of the girls, who are cursing them loudly. Four policemen are dragging some girls and panicked men down from the upper floor and one is aiming his weapon at Charlie. It’s utter chaos. The connecting door opens, and the three partners come running in. Before the door slams. I see a riot going on in the club as well. Three policemen grab the partners, who surprisingly don’t object. Liam stands up straight with his hands cuffed behind him and looks at the round table in horror. He looks at me and sighs in relief when he sees that I’m clutching the file, but then he notices the two policemen aiming their weapons at me and he is horrified once again.
I’m still holding the file and my entire body is shaking. The tall policeman who raided the place last time walks around the other two and stands in front of me. “I’m sorry,” he hisses in Liam’s direction. “This came from above.” Liam ignores him and focuses on the green file. “We have a warrant to take everything we think is relevant.” He displays the piece of paper and Liam nods.
“I have specific orders to arrest everybody here.” This time he looks at me, and I swallow nervously. “But I don’t want to ruin the life of a physics student,” he says, signaling the policemen behind me to lower their weapons. “I know that you’re only a waitress here, so take this as your first and last warning. If we raid this place again and you’re within two blocks of here, I’ll arrest you and put you away with the hookers, junkies and any other scumbags you can think of.”
I nod quickly, and I can’t say a word.
“Give me the file,” he says harshly, and my brain takes over like magic.
“It’s my schoolwork,” I say as my eyes fill with tears from all the tension. “I need to hand in the paper tomorrow, and I was finishing it on my break.” I don’t wait for his reaction and open the file, take out a few pages and wave them in front of him. “See, they’re just some tables I summarized in a quantum mechanics class.”
“What mechanics?” he asks in confusion. “Okay, never mind.” He pulls me to the counter. “Take your stuff and get out of here.
“Okay,” I take my bag as the policemen drag the partners past me.
“Elena,” Liam says quietly. “Call Ralph. And don’t leave the house!”
I nod as the policemen haul them away.