51
I dial Ralph’s number and he picks up after three rings.
“What do you want?” he asks irritably.
“Good evening to you too,” I snigger. “Where are you?”
“What do you care?” he asks derisively.
“Come on, Ralph, don’t be a jerk. Where are you?”
“At the club,” he replies, “Why? You want to join me for another date?”
“No.” I smile to myself. “But I need to talk to Victor or Leo for a minute. Can you get one of them?”
“Who?”
“You know, the two guys who work as dressers at the club.”
“Ah. No chance,” he answers firmly. “I have a reputation to keep. I will not go looking for those two.”
“Ralph!” I admonish him. “You know they say that the biggest homophobes are actually attracted to men.”
“Stop talking bullshit,” he raises his voice angrily.
“Ralph, enough.” I’m starting to lose my patience. “What did I ask? Just get one of them.”
“No,” he replies coldly.
“Don’t mess with me,” I say threateningly. “Get one of them or I’ll start spreading rumors about you.”
“Excellent. Finally, the crazy Duchess is back. You’ve been missed.” He bursts out laughing. “Wait,” he says and there’s silence on the other end of the line.
“Hi, Ralph,” I hear Victor’s soft voice in the background.
“Tell me, are you a boy or a girl?” Ralph asks grouchily.
“Give me a kiss and I’ll tell you.”
I start laughing when I hear Ralph cursing, but stop when I realize that it could finish off our conversation.
“Hello?” Victor singsongs into the phone and I sigh in relief.
“Victor, it’s Elena,” I raise my voice.
“Who?”
“The Duchess,” I laugh.
“Wow! Leo, the Duchess is on the phone with me!” he exclaims.
“I need your help. I’ll be at the bar in an hour. Can you get me ready for one more performance?”
“I don’t believe it!” he says in surprise and starts giggling. “Of course. It’s sooo boring here since you left.”
“Good. I’ll need a white dress this time.”
“The Duchess in white?” he doesn’t sound convinced. “How about dark purple? Burgundy?”
“I want white.” I say obstinately. “And I’m counting on you to make sure that this will be an unforgettable show.”
“Fine. If the Duchess wants white, she’ll get white,” he says with enthusiasm and I ask him to put Ralph back on.
“What now?” Ralph asks irritably.
“I need Ilan’s phone number.”
“Why do you need that crazy guy?” he replies curiously.
“I just do, stop asking questions. And do me a favor, don’t say anything to Liam.”
“I understand,” he says. “Let me just tell you one thing. If you are planning some sick show that will start another war here, then… I will not stop you.” He laughs and hangs up.
I stare at the phone in confusion, but before I can call him back I get a message. He’s sent me Ilan’s number.
“Crazy German,” I mutter and press the number.
“Yes,” Ilan answers immediately.
“Good evening Ilan, this is Elena,” I say politely.
“Who?” he roars.
I roll my eyes. “The Duchess.”
“Oh.” He sounds surprised. “To what do I owe this honor?”
“I need some help.” I scratch my head in embarrassment. “I want to surprise Liam and I need to make sure he’ll be at the club tonight. I think that if you ask him to join you there, he won’t refuse you.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t do it tonight. I promised the wife I’d stay home."
I groan in disappointment but refuse to give up. “That’s a shame… Liam just told me that Irena asked about you.”
“Really?” he asks suspiciously.
“Really. Twice.” I lie easily.
“OK, then,” he says. “The wife needs to understand that work comes first.” He laughs to himself and I roll my eyes again.
“So, when will you get there?” I have to plan my timing well.
“Half an hour. Should I be armed?” he sounds amused.
“I thought you’re always armed,” I reply cynically.
“Yes… but if you’re preparing a surprise, I might need a couple of grenades or an RPG as well.” He laughs and I fume. “Just do me a favor, try not to burn us up tonight. I’d prefer a quiet night.”
“I’ll see how you behave.” I say aggressively and he laughs again.
I go upstairs to shower and dress, and I call a cab. Suddenly I don’t care that I have a three-hour exam tomorrow. I don’t care that my stomach is rumbling with hunger. I’m really planning to go to the last place I’d ever choose, and let the whole world know that my man, who may be far from perfect, is perfect for me.
The cab stops at the entrance and the bouncer looks at me curiously. It’s the same bouncer who was here during my last horrific performance. I open the door carefully and peek inside. The round table is empty. I smile in relief and go inside.
“What a surprise!” Charlie’s booming voice greets me. “I left the gas cans in the storeroom, want me to go get them?”
I smile at him. Suddenly the place seems a lot less dark than I remembered. Maybe I really am going downhill.
“The Duchess is back,” Charlie announces and the girls awaiting clients rush over to embrace me. Oddly, I don’t turn away from them. I really do feel affection for them.
“Shall I tell Liam you’re here?” Amber asks excitedly, and I shake my head no. “Could you please let Leo and Victor know that I’m waiting for them in the office upstairs? But not a word to Liam.” I wink at her playfully and she nods curiously, and turns toward the connecting door.
I go upstairs and enter the office, lean on the large wooden desk and wait impatiently. My cellphone pings with an incoming message and I look at it.
Liam: Ilan’s here and I’m at the club with him.
Me: OK.
Liam: Angry?
Me: No. Remember, you can look but not touch!
Liam: I only want to touch one woman, who probably has all her clothes on.
Me: Actually, I just got out of the shower. I’m naked and wet.
Liam: I’ll be back in an hour. Wait up for me!
Me: No. I have an exam tomorrow morning.
Liam: You want to kill me? OK, we’ll celebrate tomorrow.
Me: Good night.
I put my phone down. My heart is bursting with excitement and anticipation.
I hear approaching steps and giggles, and Victor and Leo walk in. “How exciting,” Victor exclaims and claps his hands, and they both jump around excitedly. I walk over to hug them and try to pull the fabric bag out of Leo’s hand.
“What are you doing?” he shrieks and pulls it back. “We have our ritual; you can’t ruin that.” He places the fabric bag on the desk and strokes it affectionately.
“You won’t believe what we found in storage,” Victor says enthusiastically. “About a year ago, one of the girls gave an amazing performance in a white wedding dress.” I open my eyes wide in surprise and Leo claps his hands once, and signals me to focus on unzipping the bag. The three of us stand around the desk as he takes a stunning white lace dress out of the bag. “We have just made some alterations so it will fit you.” He holds up the hanger and Victor bends down and spreads out the long train. “We made the slit in the leg a little deeper,” Leo plays with the fabric of the dress, “and we added a belt for your special equipment.” He giggles delightedly. “And now to work.”
I undress and can’t stop staring at the gorgeous lace. A few minutes later I am dressed in white, and they are busy fixing my cleavage and tightening the belt around my waist.
“Sit down.” Victor pulls the chair over and I sit.
“I want light makeup,” I mumble. “Nothing dark and scary—”
“Don’t disturb an artist’s work,” he snaps angrily, and I shut up. He asks me to close my eyes and just as I start losing patience, he allows me to open them again. Leo makes a straight parting in the middle of my head and brushes my hair out. He puts the brush down and shows me a large gold barrette in the shape of a sword. “You know their tattoo?” he asks and touches his wrist. “The letters and the sword in the middle?”
“Of course,” I reply, and he jumps in excitement again.
“The sword is your organization’s trademark,” he explains what I already know. “And you’ll wear it today.” He fixes the barrette to the left side of my head and they both take a step back and look at me in awe.
“Is that it?” I ask. I’m worried I’ll get another scolding if I stand up.
“Just a minute.” Victor places some white high heels on my feet, slips a white garter over my leg and pulls it up my thigh above the slit. He puts his hand out to Leo, who gives him two pocketknives. Victor puts one blade into the garter and the other in the belt around my waist. “Nearly finished,” he mutters and they both help me stand up. They march me through the curtain into the small bedroom and open the closet door.
My mouth drops open as I look at myself.
“You don’t need to say anything,” Leo says excitedly as he hugs Victor. “Some are amateurs, some are professionals. We happen to be champions.”
“Maybe we’ve overdone it a bit,” I feel the white lace. “I look like…”
“Like a true Duchess.” Victor strokes my bare shoulder. “Who scatters light upon her subjects,” Leo adds. “We just need one more thing. He goes to the office and hurries back with a white lace fan. “You must carry your trademark. Now you can start the show.”
They fold their arms through mine and we go downstairs. When Charlie sees me, he drops the glass he’s holding and it shatters on the floor. The girls stand up and gape at me.
“It’s time for everyone to see that the Duchess is back.” I raise my hand and snap the fan open. “And that the Duchess is crazy in love with her man.” I stand at the connecting door and Leo and Victor usher me through.