17. Chloe
I keep tellingmyself not to get attached, but it’s easier said than done. For the last week, we’ve spent a lot of time together, and I’m doing my best to just enjoy it and not have to put a name on it, but the more time we’re together, the more I’m letting my guard down.
I’m living with the knowledge that he could pick up and go at any moment. Or that he could get called out on some mission and who knows what happens after that.
I’m sitting next to him on my couch, my feet curled up under me. We have the television on, but like most nights, we are talking instead of watching.
“Tell me about your job, E. What exactly do you do?”
“It’s changed a lot through the years, but now I just monitor things. Mostly online.”
I’m leaning with my head on the back of the couch, and I ask him, “Monitor things? What does that mean?”
He shrugs and gets a faraway look on his face. “I don’t know… things.”
He sees the expectant look on my face and elaborates. “I do different things. One second I can just be monitoring where someone is spending their money. The next I can be watching through drones and helping our men escape the deserts of Afghanistan or jungles of Africa. It’s never the same, but the stakes are always high.”
I scrunch my nose up. “It sounds stressful.”
“It can be. But I’m going at a lot different pace now. If I tried to do what I used to do, I would be dead right now.”
Alarmed, I say his name. “Elias.”
He shrugs. “I’m sorry, but it’s true. What I’m doing now is much safer.”
He gets a faraway look in his eyes, and I attempt to change the subject. “Am I going to get to see where you live?”
He gets quiet and waves his hand. “You don’t want to see that.”
I lift my knees up and wrap my arms around them. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to see it.”
He finally turns to me. “It’s a rehab center for veterans, Chloe.”
“So? It’s your home.” I don’t know why I’m so insistent, but I’m not giving up. Sometimes I think he’s letting me in, and sometimes he completely closes me off. To me, it’s crazy that he hasn’t asked me to his house. If he was a different man, I’d be convinced he’s seeing another woman or something, but I know that’s not the case with Elias. He just doesn’t want to let me in.
“Forget it, Chloe. I don’t want you there.”
I rear back as if he’s hit me. I’ve never heard that tone from him before, and I realize I’ve pushed him too far. I shouldn’t take it personally, but I can’t help but be offended.
I keep putting myself out there, letting him in, and one minute I think we’re making progress and then crap like this happens.
I stare at the television without even seeing it. I can feel Elias staring at me, but I’m not going to look at him.
He stands up and holds his hand out at me. “Fuck. Come on.”
I stand up too, but I don’t take his hand. I’m angry and I poke him in the chest with my finger. “You know what, forget it. I’m not going anywhere with you.”
I turn to walk away, but I don’t get far. He has his arms looped around my waist, and he pulls me up against his body. He’s holding me close, and I can feel his breath at my neck. “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t talk to you like that.”
I cover his hands at my waist with my own. “You’re right, you shouldn’t. I didn’t know it was that big of a deal, but if you don’t want me in your home, that’s fine.”
He rubs the stubble of his beard against my neck as he nuzzles me. “It’s not that.”
I turn in his arms, and his hands instantly palm my ass. “What is it then?”
“Sometimes I don’t want to remind you that I’m scarred. That I’m hurt and that I live in a rehab center.”
I slide my hands up his chest. “Oh Elias, I don’t know how I can prove to you that—”
He cuts me off and kisses me on the forehead. “Come on, I’ll take you over there.”
I shake my head. “Forget it. We can just stay here.”
“Chloe,” he admonishes, and I pull from his arms.
“Seriously, we can just stay here. No biggie.” No biggie? Who am I? Who talks like that? Even though I now understand why he doesn’t want to take me over there, it still bothers me.
He grabs his keys off my entryway table. “Come on. We’ll go.”
But I stay rooted in my spot. “No. I don’t want you to take me to your house because I asked you to. It’s fine. We can stay here…”
He points toward my bedroom and says with a deep voice, “Go pack a bag, Chloe.”
“Pack a bag?”
“Yes, pack a bag, or not. It’s up to you, but you’re going to my house, I’m fucking you in my bed, and I’m not letting you up all night.”
My whole body flushes, and when he reaches for me, I take off running to my bedroom. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready.”
I fly around the bedroom and bathroom, throwing things into an overnight bag, and less than ten minutes later, we’re in his truck, cruising across town toward the rehab center.
He’s quiet the whole way, and the closer we get, the more strained he becomes. He’s quiet as he pulls into the parking lot. He doesn’t say anything when he comes around to help me out of the passenger side of the truck and as we walk down a path. I keep my head down until we get through the gravel walkway, and when I lift my head, I stop and gasp. “Elias.”
He stops and looks at me, surprised. “What is it?”
I wave my hand in front of us. “It’s beautiful.” There’s a huge pond, and the backdrop is Whiskey Run Mountain. I’ve never seen it quite like this, and it’s breathtaking.
Two men come up behind us. “Hey, Elias.”
We both turn, and Elias pulls me into his side. “Hey, guys. This is my girlfriend, Chloe. Chloe, this is Jeff and Clinton.”
I barely get hello out and Elias is pulling me down the path and stops outside a cabin. He unlocks the door and gestures for me to go in. I’m used to Elias being quiet, but this is different. I follow him through the house as he shows me the living room and kitchen combo, the spare bedroom that he’s turned into an office, and the bedroom and bathroom. When we get back to the living room, he’s standing awkwardly. “This is it.”
I move over to him and tug his shirt. “You okay?” I ask worriedly.
He nods and runs his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I’m good.”
I lean into him. “So girlfriend, huh?”
He looks at me with possession in his eyes. “Yeah, girlfriend.”
“Okay.”
He puts his hands on each side of my neck. “Okay?”
Being this close to him makes me crazy. “Yeah. Didn’t you say something about a bed?”
He lifts me up in his arms, and my legs go around his waist. He walks us to his room and tosses me on the bed. “Yeah. I also said I plan on fucking you all night.”
“You won’t hear any complaints out of me.”
He hovers over me, searching my eyes. “I need you, Chloe.”
I feel like he’s saying more, but I don’t ask him about it. I tell him with complete honesty, “I’m yours.”
I help him undress, and as soon as he’s naked, he strips me of my clothes. I whisper to him as he climbs on the bed. “The condoms are in my bag.”
“Fuck,” he mutters and walks back into the other room and then comes back carrying my bag. He sets it on the bed beside me, and I grab the condoms out before he tosses it to the chair on the other side of the room.
He wastes no time and pushes my thighs apart, staring down at my bare pussy. “I love looking at you.”
I try to squirm from his hold. “Elias! What are you looking at?”
He licks his lips. “I’m looking at your cunt, Chloe. You’re wet, baby. Have you been thinking about me?”
I lift my hips, wanting him to touch me there. “Yes, always. Please….” I plead with him.
“Please, what? What do you need?”
He’s running his fingers lightly against my inner thigh as he stares at me openly. I reach for him, putting my hand to his shoulder. “You. I need you. Please.”
I have no shame as I squirm and lift my hips, trying to get him to touch me where I need it most. When his fingers caress over my folds, it feels electric, but I need more. When he touches my clit, circling it with his fingers, and applies the perfect amount of pressure, my body comes alive. “Don’t stop, E. Please don’t stop.”
He kisses my inner thigh and whispers, “Never.”