4. Laila
4
LAILA
“This is what you wanted,” Gedeon reminds me. “You wanted Arsen to bring you home.”
He’s not wrong. When Arsen first shipped us off, “home” was all I wanted. But now, it feels no better than being moved from one cell to another.
Like prisoners. Like cattle.
Nina’s chubby little hand grazes my face. I kiss it gently, my vision going blurry as I imagine walking back into that house and pretending nothing has changed.
“I want to see my mother—to be there for her. That’s all I want,” I correct. “Nowhere in there do I plan to see or speak to Arsen.”
I’ll add the rest of the senses while I’m at it—no smelling, no touching, and definitely no tasting. It’s going to be a full-scale Arsen Adamov embargo. For all I care, he might as well no longer exist.
Gedeon sighs. “That might be a little hard to do while living under the same roof.”
Again, Gedeon is—annoyingly—not wrong. One of his most irritating habits.
I thrust my five-month-old into his arms. “Here, take Nina.” Before he can argue, I stalk into my bedroom and slam the door.
Five minutes later, I shove a hastily scribbled note into his face. He barely manages to grab it before Nina can shove it into her mouth.
He squints down at my chicken scratch. “What’s this?”
“A new contract. If Arsen agrees to my terms and conditions, then I’ll come back home.”
“You can’t be serious, Laila.”
“What about this back-of-the-napkin contract written in purple gel pen in the middle of the night doesn’t scream, ‘ I’m perfectly serious ?’”
“Because all you’ve wanted for months is to get back home to see your mom, and now, Arsen is letting you and?—”
“Exactly! Exactly.” I jab a manic finger at him like I should have a tinfoil hat and a picture of Bigfoot tacked to the wall. Nina giggles like it’s all hilarious, but Gedeon takes a nervous step backward like it’s not funny in the least. “He is letting me come back. This, like everything else, is on his terms. And I’m sick of him snapping his fingers and expecting me to run to him like a well-trained dog.”
“No one in their right mind would ever accuse you of being well-trained, Laila.” I growl back wordlessly, proving his point, and he drags a hand down his face. “What are your demands?”
“First, I want a divorce.”
His eyes go huge. “Laila, he’s never going to?—”
“Second,” I raise my voice, interrupting him, “I want my own house. I think we’ll both want that, especially after we’re no longer married.”
“Don’t count on it,” he mutters.
Nina giggles and pokes at his nose.
“Third, my mother and Evelyn will move in with me.”
“Maybe we should discuss this in the morn?—”
“Fourth,” I plow ahead, “Arsen doesn’t get to pop in and out of our daughter’s life when it suits him. If he wants to see her, it’s going to be a regular and scheduled occurrence. Otherwise, he can say goodbye to ever seeing her ag?—”
“Laila!” Gedeon shouts to get my attention, and Nina jolts in his arms. Her lip wobbles as she cranes away from him, face screwed up like she’s on the verge of tears. He forgets all about me for a second, kissing her forehead and cradling her against his cheek. “I’m sorry, kiddo. I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just that your mama is a crazy lady.” He shoots me a dirty look as though I’m being difficult. “Can we please, for the love of all that is holy, talk about this tomorrow? You’re upsetting the child.”
I pluck Nina out of his arms. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m just asking you to pass on a message.”
“Fine.” He narrows his eyes. “No.”
My eyes narrow right back. “Excuse me?”
“This is between you and Arsen. I’m not getting in the middle.”
“Newsflash, Ged: you’re already in the middle. Actually, if anything, you lean towards Arsen’s side. Now is your chance to balance the scales.”
He holds up his hands. “Count this as me stepping out of the equation, then. You can be a big girl and tell Arsen all of your crazy conditions when you see him.”
“I’m not seeing him. That’s what I’ve been saying. I have no intention of speaking to him ever again.”
“Then how is he ever going to hear your demands?”
I want to argue, but it’s clear there’s no point. Even the threat of boiling tea in his face won’t be enough to convince him to stand up to his boss.
“You’re an asshole, too, you know that?”
He winks at Nina, and she’s already forgiven him for scaring her a few minutes ago. “Nina doesn’t think so, do you, angel? You love your Uncle Geddy, don’t you?”
She reaches for him, but I pull her away. “Stop that! You’ve been useless. You don’t deserve baby cuddles.”
He blows Nina a kiss as we stalk across the apartment. “Get some sleep, you two. Bright and early tomorrow, we have a plane to catch.”
Gedeon is sitting at the table with his phone in his hand and two to-go cups of coffee in front of him. He slides one towards me as I walk into the room with Nina on my hip. “One last cup of shitty coffee before we make for the skies?”
I take it, but only because I’m desperate. I barely slept. “Did you get my email?”
“Did you think typing up that contract would make it any less ridiculous?”
“It’s official. I read a lot of sample contracts to get the wording just right.”
Gedeon clears his throat and begins to read off his phone. “‘ Party A, henceforth referred to as Laila Barnes, and Party B, henceforth referred to as Asshole Incredible —’ This might be less serious than the scrap gibberish you drew up last night, which is, in and of itself, an impressive feat.”
I wave him off and settle Nina into her highchair. “I’m not going to take any more shit from anyone, including Asshole Incredible.”
“Shouldn’t you cover Nina’s ears before you say things like that about her father?”
“Do you see him anywhere?” I gesture around the room. “Besides, he’s not her father. This arrangement may have started with me acting as the donor, but now, that title belongs to Arsen. He provided the DNA for her gorgeous green eyes and that’s where his involvement ends.”
Gedeon sets down his coffee with a sigh. “You’re pissed.”
“I’m fine.” I point to my face. “See? I’m smiling and everything.”
“Yeah, and it’s alarming.” He grimaces at my forced grin. “Put the Joker face away and talk to me. I can’t send this to Arsen.”
“Yes, you can.”
“He’ll be livid.”
I hold out my empty hands, cupped like a bowl. “Here are all the fucks I give about his feelings.”
“Laila—”
“Gedeon,” I imitate, matching his serious tone. “I already told you: I’m a new woman. Spread the word.” I tap his phone screen. “Literally. Forward that email.”
His jaw works back and forth like he wants to argue, and then he huffs out a breath. “Fine.”
The whoosh of the message forwarding makes my toes curl. After months by myself, comeuppance is my new foreplay.
“That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”
“I need a fucking raise,” he mumbles under his breath.
“I would give you my full support, but—” I take a bite of toast, talking around a full mouth. “—that sounds like something you should talk to Arsen about.”
He opens his mouth to say something scathing, I’m sure, but before he can, his phone rings. One glance at the screen and he blanches. “Fuck me. It’s Arsen.”
“Perfect. Ask him for that pay bump. I bet he’s in a swell mood.”
Gedeon slides the phone towards me. “Don’t make me take this.”
“Coward.” I shove it back to him. “He has my number. If he wanted to talk to me, he’d have called me.”
Gedeon answers the phone with a major stink eye tossed in my direction. “Hey, Arsen, I— I know, but— Don’t shoot the messenger, okay?” He winces and then holds the phone out to me. “He wants to speak to you.”
“Nah, I’ll pass.”
Nina throws her tiny play spoon onto the floor and stretches her arms out to Gedeon. Never one to miss an opportunity to shirk an awkward conversation, he dumps the phone in my lap and scoops her out of her highchair. “Take the phone; my hands are full.”
“Asshole,” I say, placing the phone against my ear.
“That’s ‘Asshole Incredible’ to you, actually.” His dark, silky voice shivers over my skin, even with a phone and God-only-knows how many miles between us.
This is exactly why the Arsen Adamov embargo was in place. Six words, and he’s already threatening to pull me in deep again.
I grit my teeth and feign being unaffected. “Hello to you, too. It’s been a while.”
“Not for lack of trying on my part.”
“Excuse me?” I snap, already failing to maintain my air of nonchalance. “I haven’t heard from you in months!”
“Only because you refused to respond to my texts.”
“Only because you were only sending them so you could later claim that you tried when we both know you didn’t!” I blow out a harsh breath, exhausted by this conversation that’s less than a minute old. “Since it’s the only form of communication you seem to understand, I took the liberty of drafting a new contract for us. All you have to do is sign on the dotted line.”
“I’m not signing anything.”
I jump to my feet. “Why the hell not?”
“Because it’s a ridiculous joke of a deal, and I reject all your demands.”
As if he even had time to read the entire document before he called Gedeon. “They’re non-negotiable.”
“Then we agree: I’m not negotiating.”
“Then I’m not coming back!”
He goes silent. I can’t even hear him breathing, but I know he’s there. I can feel him on the other end of the line.
“You don’t get to waltz in and out of our lives and jerk me around anymore,” I add. “Getting divorced was always the plan, and I’m following through on that. This marriage was only practical, and there’s no longer any point in it.”
“We are not getting a divorce,” he snarls. “If you think we are, then you’re more naive than I thought you were.”
“And you’re more of an asshole than I thought you were. So I guess we’re even.”
“ Roza— ”
“Don’t you roza me. I’m not your roza. I’m not your Laila. And as far as I’m concerned, I’m not your wife, either. If you don’t agree to my terms, I’m not getting on that plane.”
My ultimatum is met with a heartbeat of silence. Then a deep, long suffering sigh. “I’m not asking you to come back for my sake . I’m asking you to come back for your mother’s.”
My heart drops. I have to grip one of the chairs to keep from keeling over. “Is she—I just spoke to her yesterday. She was fine.”
“She lied, Laila,” Arsen cuts in. “She’s in the hospital and… she’s not doing well.”
The world spins. Everything that mattered two seconds ago disappears like vapor.
“Okay.” A lone tear escapes down my cheek. “I’ll get on the plane.”