44. Laila
44
LAILA
On my way to Arsen’s office, I’m prepared to make Guilia proud.
It’s been two mornings in a row of waking up in bed alone, and now, Arsen is waiting for me in his office. I’ve been called in to see him like I’m just another cog in his Bratva wheel.
I’m going to give him hell.
I throw open his office door hard enough it bangs off the wall. I make it all of two steps inside before the sight of him, alive and breathing and here , stops me in my tracks.
For the first time, I’m aware of exactly how much I was afraid he wouldn’t come home. Tears burn in my eyes.
“ Roza .”
That one little word sends me streaking across his office. I lace my arms around his neck and breathe in the scent of him. “You better have one hell of an explanation for this,” I sniffle.
His hand smooths up and down my spine before he releases me. “There was an… incident.”
I wait for more of an explanation, but it doesn’t come. “And?”
“And,” he says, sitting tall, “I’m handling it.”
The relief is burning away fast, letting through all the muddled emotions of the last thirty-six hours. “You disappeared in the middle of a dinner and didn’t come home for almost two days. No one knew where you were. What were you handling that you couldn’t answer any of my calls?”
“There was no reason to call. I knew you were safe, and I was busy.” He turns back to his desk, and I get it now—why we’re in this room. Why he didn’t find me in bed the second he got home and whisper his apologies against my skin.
This man in front of me isn’t my husband right now; he’s the pakhan of the Adamov Bratva.
And he wants me to fall in line.
His phone vibrates, and he checks it with a sigh. “I have calls to make, so?—”
I snatch his phone out of his hand and toss it into a leather chair in the corner. “No, you don’t. You have me to deal with.”
His mouth tightens. “Laila?—”
“Don’t do that,” I cry out. “Don’t say my name like I’m being unreasonable. Imagine, for a second, that I didn’t come home for two days, Arsen. Imagine that I walked out of a room and just didn’t come back.”
His knuckles turn white on the arms of his chair. “That wouldn’t happen. I wouldn’t let it.”
“Then don’t do it to me. Where were you? Even Enzo didn’t know.”
“Enzo.” He stands up and rounds his desk, heading for where I hurled his phone. “Fuck. I need to tell him?—”
“No, you need to talk to me.” I jump in front of him, pinning my hands against his chest?—
—and Arsen winces.
He tries to school his features, but it’s too late. I’m already dragging his shirt up his body, exposing his chest, and?—
“What in the hell happened to you?” I slide his shirt higher, revealing a map of black and purple bruises across his chest and shoulder. He tries to shove my hands away, but one poke to the mottled flesh of his bicep almost brings my mountain of a husband to his knees. “Who did this? How did this happen? You need to get to the hospital!”
He gathers my wrists in one hand and drops his shirt. “I’ve already been. A doctor cleared me this morning. Now, I need to?—”
“Not until you explain to me why I—your wife , in case you’ve forgotten—didn’t know you were in the hospital! What happened?”
“I told you: I’m handling it.” His phone buzzes from the chair, and he drags a hand through his hair. Now that I know what’s going on under his clothes, I can see how he’s moving more cautiously than usual. His breathing is shallow and he’s holding himself stiffly. “But there’s a lot to do. I wanted to come see you and explain. Now that I have, I?—”
“Except you haven’t!” I snap. “You haven’t actually told me anything. Who did this to you?”
He shakes his head. “All that matters is that I’m going to keep you and Nina safe. No one is going to get close to you.”
“I’m not worried about me, Arsen; I’m worried about you .” I gesture to the bruise creeping out of the collar of his shirt and the scrape across his forehead. He’s like a human hidden object game. The longer I look at him, the more injuries I see. “I should have left with you. We shouldn’t have separated. Where you go, I go. That’s what marriage is, right?”
“No,” he spits, interrupting me before I can even finish. His green eyes are almost black. “You shouldn’t— If you’d been in that car…” He squeezes his eyes closed for a second, like he’s blinking away some vile memory. “You and Nina wouldn’t have made it out. I would have put you in that car, and we would have…”
“Would have what?” I reach for him, but he retreats from me.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m handling it.”
God, what I’d give to banish those words from existence.
But as he plucks his phone off the chair and fires off a furious text to someone, I see what is happening. I know him well enough to understand what’s going on under the surface.
So I step closer and wrap my arms around his waist. I feel the bulky bandages over his ribs and try not to think about them. “I’m right here, Arsen. I’m safe. So is Nina. No one hurt us.”
He sighs and brings his hand to my cheek. “But he could have. Easily. I put you within his reach.”
“Whose?”
I feel him trying to pull away, but I hold him tighter. I don’t give him even an inch.
And slowly, little by little, he softens. He kisses the top of my head and rests his cheek there. “It was Jasper. The brake line on my car was cut, and I think he knew. He would’ve let me put you and Nina in that car. He tried to kill us all.”
“Oh my God.” My heart lodges in my throat, but I can’t let him see my fear. Especially since I trust Arsen to keep us safe. I need him to know how much I trust him. “How are you… handling it? Is he dead?”
He disentangles my arms from his body and strides away from me, once again putting his desk between us. “No, which is why you need to stay inside. Until Jasper is gone for good, you can’t leave. No going out, no classes, no lunches with Guilia?—”
“No.”
His brows pinch together, and he’s so tired. There are dark circles under his eyes. He has the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I know I’m making it harder.
“No,” I repeat. “I can be your wife or your prisoner, Arsen, but I won’t be both.”
I can practically hear Guilia cheering me on. Give him hell, girl.
It’s just a shame that, when I finally take the advice, it looks like he’s already been through hell.
“Did you not hear what I said, Laila? He tried to kill me. And he damn near succeeded.” He lifts his shirt again, finally acknowledging his injuries. And the fact that Arsen thinks he could’ve died brings it all home.
I almost lost him.
Maybe it would be easier to do as he says. To stay inside.
But…
“I heard you. And I told you the options. So choose what you want.”
“I’m not choosing a goddamn thing!” he bellows. “What you’re asking is whether I want you alive or dead, and I’ll choose your life over everything, every time. There is no choice.”
My heart breaks for him. Instead of being angry, tears well in my eyes. Slowly, I walk around his desk until I’m standing in front of him. His chest is heaving and his hands are in tight fists at his side, but he lets me step into his embrace.
“You hold so many lives in your hands, and I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be,” I whisper. “The pressure you’re under never ends, so many people depend on you. It must be lonely.”
He doesn’t respond, but I feel his breathing catch. His arms loop around my body, holding me tighter.
“When I chose you, I chose all of you, Arsen—the good and the bad. I knew there would be danger.”
“Laila—”
“But that means that, if you lock me up in this house, we aren’t a team. I don’t need to be out on the front lines, but you have to let me live my life. This life, with all the chaos and danger that comes with it. I chose it.” I pull back, looking into his eyes. “I chose you.”
His fingers find mine, and he twines our hands together. “I will not lose you.”
“Never. We’re going to get through this—and we’re going to do it together.”
He takes a step away from me, dropping my hand. For a split second, I’m worried he’s going to fall back on old habits and push me away.
Instead, he nods. “Well, then I guess you should be with me when Enzo arrives with his men.”
“Enzo’s coming here?”
“He needs to be informed of the situation. I have a feeling he’s going to be involved in this mess too before it’s all over.”
“And is it customary for the wives to be present?”
“Not at all.” He laughs quietly. “I guess we’re breaking new ground. Together.”