Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Dixon
Avery Jane Harlowe was an angel from Heaven above.
I followed and watched as she flitted and danced from room to room in the retirement part of Mountain Home, saying hello to the residents and passing out loose flowers to brighten their day.
I felt uncomfortable and unwelcome in a place of healing, but that wasn’t a new feeling for me, and if AJ wanted to be here, there weren’t a lot of other places I’d want to be.
She pulled a thick pair of wool socks from her bag and handed them to an old woman who accepted AJ’s gift like the socks had been woven out of strands of gold.
“So your feet don’t get so cold and achy,” AJ said with a smile, and the woman looked like she might be holding back tears.
“Thank you, child. How thoughtful.”
A man interrupted us in the doorway to the TV room.
“Avery Jane? Who’s this? I thought you kicked your good-for-nothin’ boyfriend to the curb.”
AJ turned slowly, a mischievous grin growing on her lips. “Oh, you know I did, Callum. Why? You jealous?”
Callum blushed. “Well now, I’m just curious. You show up here with this man, and I gotta wonder.”
“This is my friend, Dixon. He grew up in Wisper and just moved back. Dixon, this is Callum Craig. He broke a hip last month, but you’d never know by lookin’ at him.”
Callum nodded and looked me over, head to toe. “What is your occupation, young man?”
“M-my occupation?”
“What do you do for a livin’?”
The old Dixon snapped back, “I knew what you meant, old timer.” Being hounded by old men tended to get my hackles up.
His only response was a lifted eyebrow and a pointed stare, but there was kindness in his eyes. He hadn’t meant anything by his question.
“I’ve had a lot of jobs. I’ve worked sheep and cattle. I fix stuff. But my last job was fellin’ lumber.”
“Ah, a lumberjack.”
Lumberjack didn’t exactly describe the job I’d worked in the Cascades, but it was close enough, and I didn’t imagine this man Callum actually cared about my job history. He just wanted to know if I was good enough, if I earned enough money to be good enough for AJ.
I wasn’t, and I didn’t.
“I’ve chopped down a few trees in my time,” he said. “It’s a good job. Satisfyin’. Why’d you quit?”
“Yes, sir, it is. I didn’t quit so much as I left the PNW to come home.”
“And why’d you come home?”
“Family. I-I have a son. He’s here.”
“Oh, well that’s nice. A son is a good thing to have. I have two, and four grandsons to boot. Would you like to see pictures? I’ve got a ton.”
“Sure,” I said after AJ nodded and urged me to go with Callum.
“Avery Jane is a special woman,” he said as we entered his room. There were pictures taped up all over the walls of people he wanted to be reminded of and drawings I imagined his grandsons had made for him with happy stick-figure families and dogs. “Have a seat.”
He motioned to a loveseat in the corner opposite his mechanical hospital bed, so I sat and clasped my hands together over my knees.
Talking to men older than me had never been comfortable.
Noah Lee had ruined it for me. And besides my brothers, I’d never really known any other men well enough to care.
But it seemed like Callum wanted to connect, and I knew my discomfort was something I should probably try to work through for Stu’s sake.
“Yes, sir. She is special.”
“You know her well?”
“I used to. We grew up together, but I’ve been gone a long time, so I guess we’re gettin’ to know each other again as adults.”
“She comes here once or twice a week,” he said. “I’m only here temporarily. In fact, I’m set to go home next week, but there are a lot of folks who live here and will die here. Avery’s visits are a breath of fresh air. I have family who visit when they can, but not everyone is so lucky.”
“I understand. She brightens my days too.”
“Stella, the woman you just met, she tells me when Avery was datin’ that fella from over east of Jackson, he didn’t like her visitin’. She stopped comin’ for a while there. You’re not gonna be another one who tries to dull her shine, now are ya?”
“Oh, no sir,” I said with a chuckle. “I wouldn’t dare.” I couldn’t live with myself if I did.
“That’s good then,” he said, and he pulled a photo album from his bedside drawer. “Here it is. I have hundreds of pictures on my cell phone, but my wife made this album for me before she passed, so I like to keep it close.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.”
He sat next to me on the couch slowly. It looked like sitting was still painful after his hip injury, but other than that, AJ was right. I never would’ve known he was experiencing pain.
“Gotta take it slow these days. The doctors want me to use pain medication, but I won’t do it.”
“Why not? It helps.”
“Sure it does, but that stuff lulls you into a false sense of wellbeing, and the next thing you know, you’re on your ass with another broken hip.
Besides—” He flipped open the album, but then looked up at me, and there was a lifetime of wisdom in his eyes.
“Stuff is dangerous. I have a feelin’ you know a little about that? ”
Breath rushed out of me, and he nodded. “I thought so.”
“Yes, sir. I’m an addict. I’ve been in recovery more than four years now, but I’m still an addict.”
“My son went through it after he broke his leg skiing. That’s how I knew. He’s in recovery, too, and somehow you remind me of him.”
“And your son, he’s…”
“He’s sober and healthy, raisin’ his family over in Boise.
Here he is.” Callum thumbed over a couple pages, then landed on one with a big eight-by-ten printed photograph stuck inside a thin, plastic jacket.
He pointed to a middle-aged man who looked a little like him in the eyes and the shape of his jaw.
“That’s my son, August. My wife always called him Auggie.
And that woman there is his wife, Dina, and those are my grandsons, Griffin and Chase.
” His finger lingered over the image of two boys maybe two years apart in age but almost identical, with black hair and brown eyes.
“Those boys wouldn’t exist without NA and all the recoverin’ addicts Auggie met in the program. I’m grateful to men like you.”
“You are?”
“Sure. If it weren’t for you, my son wouldn’t have had anyone to turn to when he needed help and guidance.”
“Wow. I guess I never really thought about it like that.”
“Yeah. So, who helped you?”
“A lot of people. Avery Jane doesn’t know it, but she helped me.
My brother, my friend Nesty, and a guy named Mo in California.
He made a big impression on me. He showed me that sober life probably wouldn’t be a perfect life, but that it was worth fightin’ for all the same.
And he encouraged me to connect with my family again when I was ready.
It took me a few years, but I finally got there. ”
“And your son?”
“Oh,” I breathed. “He’s… perfect. He’s funny and lovin’ and now that I can see him and hear his voice? Nothin’ in this world can compete. Not drugs, not alcohol, not anything.”
“Good,” Callum said. “Never forget that. You got a picture?”
“No, I don’t. All I’ve got is this.” I pulled the tattered piece of Stuart’s baby blanket from my pocket and held it in front of me like a photo. It had been that important to me, and when I looked at it in the darkest parts of my sobriety, I had imagined Stu’s face so many times.
“Well here,” Callum said. “Give me your phone.” He held his hand out till I dropped my cell into it, then he clicked it on and tapped around on the screen for a minute. And when he handed it back, Stu’s face smiled out at me from a family picture on the Spitfire Ranch at Lee Valley website.
“How’d you—”
Callum winked. “Small town, sonny. And your mama goes to my church.”
I laughed. Of course she did. Of course he knew who I was.
He smiled and nodded.
Inspecting Stu’s silly grin in the photo, I widened two fingers over it to make it bigger. “How do I make it stay on the screen?”
“Take a screenshot, and then you can make that your background.” When confusion showed on my face, Callum chuckled and took the phone out of my hand.
“My other son works in the tech industry. He wouldn’t allow me to be technologically illiterate, so I’ve gotten pretty handy with these things.
I could write a book on your phone, edit it, and make a book cover.
Could apply to run for office or play a game of Gin Rummy with someone in Belgium if I wanted to.
“There,” he said, and he handed the phone back. “I put my number in too, so if you ever need anything or want someone to talk to, you can call me. I know I’m old, but I can connect you with Auggie if you’re lookin’ for sober friends.”
I managed to thank him, but it was hard with the big lump blocking my throat. “That’s… It’s pretty cool of you. Thank you.”
Callum was nothing like Noah Lee, and I felt foolish for worrying he would be.
When we left the retirement home and walked through a corridor to the children’s wing, I was quiet.
“You okay?” AJ asked, and she took hold of my hand as we strolled.
“Yeah. Just thinkin’ about some things.”
“What did you and Callum talk about? He loves to gab.”
“Oh, nothin’ really. Just family. Life in general. He showed me pictures of his kids and grandkids. He’s a nice guy.”
“He really is. He’s a big flirt, too, but he’s still very much in love with his wife. She passed last year.”
“He told me. I was sorry to hear it.”
“Dixon,” AJ said, and she stopped in the middle of the hallway and stood in front of me, still holding my hand. “If you want to talk, I’m here, okay? I know you’re feelin’ out of sorts today, but—”
“I’m fine,” I said, swiping a loose lock of her hair away from her face.
Her skin was fresh and clean. Her lips, bare and the prettiest pink color like the softest, most delicate rose, blushed a little darker when I touched her.
“I promise. It’s just that I don’t talk to a lot of older men.
My history with father figures isn’t the best, so I’m uncomfortable around them.
But Callum wasn’t like that at all. He was easy to talk to, and I guess he’s got me rethinkin’ some of my relationships over the years. ”
“Oh,” she said, surprised, “that’s really nice.”
“I guess I’m still learnin’ how to relate to people, y’know? I’ve spent a lot of time alone.”
She nodded as expectant thunder rumbled outside. “When we have time, I’d love for you to tell me about it.”
“Not much to tell,” I said, shrugging. “Chopped down a bunch of trees and ate a lot of cold SpaghettiOs. C’mon.” I squeezed her hand. “Let’s go make some kids laugh.”
“Okay. You have some jokes you can tell ’em?”
“No,” I said, stopping dead in my tracks when she started back down the hallway. “I thought you did.”
“I got nothin’. We usually play Go Fish or War with a deck of cards, and some of the kids like to brush and braid my hair or just sit and tell me about their day. It doesn’t really matter. They just like to know someone’s there.”
“And you’re sure it’s okay that I’m here? I’m not— I don’t have— I mean, their parents might not want them talkin’ to an ex-junkie.”
“The children’s parents have to sign a waiver to allow them to interact with volunteers.
If they don’t, then those kids stay in their rooms or are taken to another part of the building while I visit.
I’ve met most of the parents, though, and they consent.
Plus, my mom’s best friend, Cela, is the director of Mountain Home, and I already texted her to let her know you were with me.
She’s fine with it. She knows your mom.”
I laughed as AJ pressed a button on the wall and pushed the door open when it buzzed and unlocked.
“Of course she does,” I said. “It seems everybody in this town knows Merv.”