Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Dixon
A man who resembled Cody Mahone in stature—and there was something in his eyes—stood by a black Escalade, smoking Camels.
Who the fuck still smoked Camels nowadays?
I knew they were Camels because the smell wafted on the lazy summer breeze right to my nose, and flashbacks of my old man hit me like some kind of horror-movie montage.
They were the same brand Noah Lee had smoked most of his life.
The guy watched me while I sat in my car waiting for AJ to finish inside, and when I got out to stretch and pace, he smirked and flicked a cigarette butt at my car.
My guess was that he was Cody’s brother or possibly a cousin or something, but he was failing at intimidating me.
I’d met plenty of guys like him over the years—the lowest man on the family totem pole, who they really only relied on for muscle.
His opinion didn’t matter to the higher ups. Kind of like mine.
He didn’t count in the overall picture of the Mahone family, but I didn’t discount him because, while I was fairly certain he had no clout, he definitely knew how to scrap.
His stance and the restless look in his eyes alone told me that much.
He might as well have been flexing his biceps and slamming his fist into his palm, like some moron from a mafia movie.
Before anything could come of his intimidation tactics, and after he’d flicked no less than half a pack of smokes at my bumper, Cody Mahone himself came fuming out of the small courthouse.
A gaggle of lawyers followed behind him, arguing about an appeal, and an older woman lagged behind them all.
She walked with grace, like a dancer might, but it felt forced.
I wasn’t sure if that was to give her flowy skirt a chance to billow around her legs or if she thought someone important might be watching and she wanted to appear above the rest of us, but her eyes never left mine as she climbed into the Escalade.
When her door had fully shielded her from my view, she snapped, “Get in the truck, Justin. Now.”
Muscle man jumped into the passenger seat next to Cody behind the wheel, and they peeled out of there, their tires smoking on the pavement behind them.
One of the lawyers, whose gray, pinstriped suit didn’t seem to really fit his lank frame, yanked his tie loose and shook his head silently as he walked to his older-model sedan parked a few spots away, sneering at the disappearing Escalade.
He might have been hired to represent Cody Mahone, but it was clear he didn’t like the son of a bitch.
When the lot was empty, AJ, her gran, and her mama rounded the side of the building, and as soon as she saw me, she smiled and ran to me, her pretty, blue dress flowing out behind her, and she launched herself into my arms.
“Things went well then?” I asked, holding her up while she wrapped her legs around my hips.
“Very well,” she said, and she kissed my cheek.
“Good. I’m glad it’s done.” I returned her smile, thinking I’d never seen anything more beautiful and hopeful than the woman in my arms.
But I had a sinking feeling it wasn’t over.
When was life ever that easy?
On the way back to Wisper, Doc V from All Animals called to make sure I’d be there early tomorrow morning because they had a mastiff scheduled for a dental cleaning and would need help handling him.
Apparently, the guy who started the clinic, Dr. Prittchard, who I still remembered from my fleece farm days, had finally retired, so Doc V and Dr. Masterson had bought the business from him. He was the guy they usually relied on to handle difficult cases, but with him gone, I was their only hope.
Doc V also asked if I’d be interested in going with him sometimes because there were plenty of cattle and horse calls he could use some extra muscle on. I said yes and assured him I’d be there in the morning. It felt kind of nice to be relied on. It made me proud that the docs had faith in me.
AJ’s mama and Gran wanted to stay in Jackson for a little shopping, so she rode with Abey and me.
We dropped her at her store, and as Abey drove around the block to park behind the sheriff’s station, my phone rang again.
I recognized the number even though it wasn’t one I’d entered into my contacts yet.
In fact, it was the only number other than my mama’s old landline that I knew by heart.
“Bax, is everything okay?”
Abey shut off her truck and turned toward me. “What’s goin’ on?”
I shrugged.
“We have a situation,” Bax said.
“What’s that?”
“I, uh, well Bea and me, we need you to come out to the house.”
“Is Stu okay?”
“What happened?” Abey asked. “What’s wrong with Stuey?”
Bax must’ve heard the panic in our voices. “No, no, he’s fine. Everyone’s fine, but Merv went to Idaho Falls for the night with her friend.”
“Merv has a friend?” The statement felt like an oxymoron to me.
“Yeah. Clay, he’s her… boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” ‘Merv has a boyfriend’ was the last thing I ever thought I’d hear.
“Yeah, he’s a dude and he’s her friend. Pretty sure he’s in love with her, but she says her ‘heart’s not up for grabs but ain’t nothin’ wrong with a woman enjoyin’ a man’s company now and again for dinner and a movie.’
“It’s old news,” Bax said. “Get over it. But Rye’s out of town for a couple days.
Brand’s gotta be out with the herd since Rye’s gone ’cause we’ve got multiple heifers due or in labor, everybody else is workin’, and we need…
We need a babysitter. I dunno. Shit. I told Bea this wasn’t a good idea, but she’s relentless. Anyway, are you busy?”
“You want me to come and stay with Stu while you’re gone… alone? You trust me to do that?”
“No, I don’t fuckin’ trust you, but Bea does.
And Stu asks about you every five minutes.
You said you wanna be in his life, so be in it.
You’re either in or you’re out. If you’re out, then fuck off.
He doesn’t need the confusion, but if you’re in, then…
well, then get your ass to my house by six.
Athena has a barrel racin’ thing that’s supposed to run late.
“And Stu will…” Bax cleared his throat. “He’ll have more fun here. With you.”
Whoa. Hell must be really fuckin’ cold right now.
“I’ll be there.”
“Good.”
Abey whispered, “What’s goin’ on?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. Bax wanted my help. Needed my help. And with my kid?
Confusion was giving me a headache though. Was it a good idea? I wanted to run to Stu and tell him the truth, but at the same time, the possibility of him finding out that I was really his dad made me sweat. I felt like I might barf all over my sister’s fancy truck.
Did I have what it took to be a good influence?
But Bax had one more warning left to give me. “But lemme just say it again: You are not to tell Stuart who you are. Do you understand? He’s not ready. It’s not the time. I-I just need— Tonight, I just need a babysitter.”
Tweedledee
How was the rest of your day?
Unbelievable. Yours?
Mine was plain ol’ fine. Selling flowers. Making the big bucks.
Why unbelievable?
Bax asked me to babysit Stu this evening. I’m getting ready now
Dixon! That’s amazing. I’m so excited for you
Thanks. Just be on standby in case I need help figuring out how to entertain a five-year old
You got it
If all goes well, we should celebrate. I’d like to take you to dinner tomorrow night if you’re not busy
You’re asking me on a date?
I guess I am. Yeah
D: Is that a yes?
Yes, I will most definitely go on a date with you
Good. I mean thanks or you know, whatever a guy’s supposed to say after the woman he wants says yes
You want me?
I do
And PS, I miss you
Cloud nine didn’t even describe how high and happy I felt; it was more like cloud seventy-seven.
Spending the evening with Stu and going on a date with AJ? I had to be the luckiest fucker on the planet.
My excitement wavered a bit when I walked out of Mrs. Ellison’s house and a big, black SUV sped around the corner.
I didn’t get a good look at the driver’s face or the license plates, but I texted my sister anyway, to let her know to be on the lookout in case it was Cody Mahone or his low man, Justin.
Abey texted back, “10–4,” and I knew she’d have things under control.
I left too early for my babysitting gig, so I stopped off at the cemetery to pay a visit to my old friend, Candy. She had always been the one person I couldn’t wait to share good news with.
When I got there and found her headstone, I could tell Athena and Stu had been there. Dried flowers lay at the edge of the stone, and two toy Matchbox trucks sat next to them. I wondered if AJ had made the bouquet for Athena.
Stu would’ve been told that the baby Candy had been carrying, who’d died when his mama died, was his brother, so it seemed fitting for Stu to leave toys for Bax Jr., or “Duo” as the headstone read.
I had a faint memory of my brother calling his unborn son Duo, but I’d completely forgotten about it until this moment, when I saw it carved into a thick slab of granite.
The loss of that little boy and his mama had ruined my brother. I felt a pang of guilt and shame, remembering my desperate belief that replacing Duo with Stu was a good idea.
But I couldn’t bring myself to be too sorry about it, because even though Stu hadn’t replaced Duo in Bax’s and Athena’s hearts, my little boy’s presence had brought much-needed light back into their lives.
Was it wrong of me to bring Candy good news when she couldn’t experience it for herself?
I wasn’t sure, but my friend, the woman who’d loved me and supported me even though she knew what a fuck-up I’d been, would want to hear that I was happier than I’d ever been and that I was falling in l—
Falling in love? Or was I flat-out, crazy in love with AJ already? How long had it been? Two weeks?
That felt reckless and irresponsible, which was exactly the way my family would have described me five years ago. Were Abey and Roxi right that I shouldn’t be caught up in AJ’s life?
AA and NA would both dictate that I should slow down. Unexpected complications were well known for derailing a recovering addict’s sobriety journey.
“But she’s so much more than that,” I told the headstone. “You remember her, right? My little flower girl? If you knew her now, though, Candy, you’d understand. Actually, she reminds me of you. She seems to like me despite my past and all the stupid shit I’ve pulled.”
A warm afternoon wind tugged at my T-shirt, so I straightened it, hung my sunglasses from the neck, and ran my hands through my hair.
“I dunno why I’m here. I guess I… I guess I wanted to tell you I was home and that I still remember all the things you wanted for me in my life. It took me way too long, but I’m gettin’ there.
“And I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. You were a friend to me when no one else in the world wanted anything to do with me, and what did I do with that? I convinced myself I was in love with you because you were the only person who gave a shit. And then you died and I didn’t save you.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I tried. There was nothin’ more I could’ve done. I know all the bullshit the therapists have to say about it, but I failed you. It’s still carved into my heart just like your name in this stone.”
Nudging Candy’s and Duo’s headstone with the tip of my boot, I admitted, “I wish I could’ve saved you the same way you saved me.
You died not knowin’ that the unconditional love you gave me would lead me back home years later.
And everything that happened led me to leave Stuart with Bax, and I think it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
“You should see him, Candy. He looks just like me, but Stu’s perfect and beautiful and funny.”
It was downright ridiculous, but I could’ve sworn I heard Candy’s voice in the air. It whispered through the boughs of the nearby trees, getting caught up in patchy swaths of sunlight. I closed my eyes and breathed, trying to remember all the good things she used to tell me I was capable of.
Maybe after all these years, she was right.