Chapter 17 Laynie
Eddie spoke a lot on the ride back to the warehouse, but I had no idea what he was saying. I was sitting in the back of a van on the cold metal floor. Eddie sat across from me on a milk crate. I just couldn’t stop thinking of Linc. His injuries didn’t look life threatening, but I felt guilty that someone had shot him because of me. Then there was J.C. I hope she will forgive me for the chaos my presence brought into her life. I was only in that apartment 6 days but I feel different somehow. I feel like a completely different girl from the one they dropped off. It was hard for me to admit, but I had fallen for Linc. The way he was gentle and caring, yet I could see the darkness he had for the world. That darkness never clashed with me. I wonder if he will search for me? Does he have better connections than the police? Maybe I will only be back here for a short period. Eddie interrupted my thoughts, slapping me in my face.
“Answer me, bitch.”
I didn’t know how to answer him because I didn’t even hear what he said. I tried to replay the last few seconds in my head, but the only thing coming to my brain was Linc.
“What did you say?” I whispered.
He laughed, “Man, this guy really got into your head, huh? Don’t worry, little lamb, I am going to get him out. Did you think I wasn’t coming back for you?”
I shook my head. I knew he would be back for me.
We pulled up to the warehouse after about 30 minutes of driving. I hoped Eddie would just let me sleep or at least leave me alone.
When we walked in, I noticed a new girl occupied my cot. She was young and afraid. I could see her shivering under the thin sheet. She looked no more than 15 years old. She had a baby face, but a large gash through her eyebrow told me she had already been through hell.
Eddie informed me that I would stay in the same bed as her, but we were forbidden from talking or speaking to one another, or we would be punished. I nodded in agreement. The girl didn’t move when I sat on the edge of the cot. I had never had to share a cot before, but maybe our body heat would bring us some warmth. It felt weird to be back here. Those 5 days sleeping in a big warm bed, taking warm showers and eating my favorite foods seemed like a distant memory now. Like a dream I had been snatched out of. I could already feel the headache from the gun butt, erupting into my skull, like an unmanned wildfire. I hated getting headaches here. There is no pain relief offered. We just have to wait it out.
“Did you like it? Being taken out and spoiled?” His voice interrupted my thoughts.
I wasn’t really sure how he wanted me to answer this. I suppose I will say no, as it seems he is jealous. He should be jealous because I fucking hated him. I would never enjoy his touch the way I enjoyed Linc’s. He is a monster. A disgusting, drooling, five headed monster. I smirked at my own thought, but he must have thought I was smirking at the idea of me being spoiled because he slapped me across the face again. I felt the heat rush to my cheek.
“I’ll make sure you get spoiled here too,” his voice was condescending. Whatever his version of spoiled meant, it was not the same as Linc’s. “I actually have been preparing a new place for you to sleep.”
Fucking great.
“I got the idea from that house party you attended a couple weeks ago. I planned to wait, but I think you need a little reality check.” He stood up and showed me a rope hanging above his head, about 5 feet from my bed.
I didn’t react. I didn’t want him to know that this was a fear of mine. He would enjoy it too much and I would never be able to get down.
“Take your clothes off.”
The command took me off guard. It must have been 40 degrees in here. I could see my breath when I exhaled. Despite my desire to protest, I complied. I pulled off my shirt and my llama pajamas. Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at those little sombreros. I stood naked before him and he licked his disgusting lips. I turned away to avoid eye contact.
“Hey! One of you come help me,” Eddie called to a few of the guys working in the warehouse. I didn’t even know their names. The bigger one walked over. He was terrifying. At a minimum, he was 6’4 and weighed 300 pounds. He lifted me like I was a bag of soil. Eddie stood on a chair and tied my wrists around the ropes above my head. When he was done, the big man dropped me mid air so my wrist tightened even more around the rope. I was only 3 inches above the ground, but just enough to not be able to even balance my big toe. It never hurt right away, but soon I knew I would ache from the torture of hanging. I wondered how long they could leave me like this. Being back in this position it made me think of Linc again. How he had entered that apartment and made sure I wasn’t suffering. I wish he could do that now. I wish he would walk through those doors and kill these fuckers. Maybe he could save all of us, not just me. We all deserved to be saved. I was no different or more worthy than any of them.
Eddie laughed as he walked away. I was still swinging from the motion and could do nothing to make it stop except be still. I looked over at the girl in my bed. She was staring at me with wide eyes, full of fear. Instead of telling her it was okay, I just turned away. I didn’t want to get either of us in trouble. I heard her sit up in the bed.
“Are you okay?” she whispered.
“Shut up, you’ll get in trouble,” I shushed her.
“I want to go home,” she said, barely above a whisper.
“You’re not going home. The sooner you accept that, the easier it gets.” I hated speaking out loud. I was putting both of us at risk.
Another girl next to her looked at me and put her finger to her lips. She was trying to save us.
I nodded.
* * *
After an hour of hanging there, the warehouse became unusually quiet. I saw Eddie leave with a few of the men. We were never left alone, but no one was more evil than Eddie. My shoulders had begun to ache and the tension on my wrist was unpleasant. That wasn’t the worst part, though. It was the cold. I was freezing and completely exposed. I felt I had taken my clothes and that simple sheet for granted. How I would love to be curled up in that sheet now. My lips must have been blue and I couldn’t stop my teeth from chattering.
“My name is Sarai.” I heard the girl in my bed say.
“Laynie,” I whispered back.
The girl that silently shushed me earlier spoke up, “Claire.”
We sat in silence for a moment, taking in each other’s names. I had learned a couple of names over the years but you cannot build relationships here. It’s every woman for themselves. You will end up dead trying to be someone’s savior. Years ago, there were two girls who bonded together secretly. The men caught on and played games with them. Eventually they forced one to kill the other or be slaughtered herself. I vowed I would never get close to any of them after that. It was too dangerous.
“It’s too dangerous to talk. You must be quiet. Even when you think they aren’t listening, you must think they are,” Claire said. She seemed sophisticated. She spoke with authority and firmness.
I nodded in agreement at Sarai, to what she said.
Sarai laid down in response and I could hear a small sob escape.
I heard one of the bay doors slide open. Please don’t be Eddie, I thought. It wasn’t Eddie. I actually didn’t recognize the men. As they got closer, I could tell one of them wasn’t even a man, he was a boy. He couldn’t be no more than 16. They walked past me, but I could see the boy staring hard at my body. I couldn’t tell if he was afraid or shocked. They walked to Sarai, and the man snatched her out of the bed by her arm.
“This one will be good for you, she’s young.”
I could see the boy’s feet shift uncomfortably but he nodded.
“Tell her what to do,” the man insisted.
“Here?” The boy looked around.
“Yeah, are you shy or something?”
“Uh no no. I was j-just wondering,” he stammered. He looked back at Sarai and told her to take her clothes off.
“No, please,” she begged.
The man hit her across the face. “It wasn’t a request, bitch.”
Sarai started sobbing now as she slowly removed her clothes. I wasn’t sure if this was her first time being raped, but it seemed like it. She reminded me of myself many years ago. At some point, you become numb to it. It just becomes a job that you must do in order to survive or escape harsher punishment. I wish Linc was here again. I wish he could save this beautiful girl from this awful fate. If I hadn’t been the one swinging by the rope in that apartment, I wondered if Linc would have still done the same for any girl. I probably wasn’t as special to him as he made it out to be. He would have saved Claire or Sarai, all the same. I just had luck on my side that day. I am not sure why, but this thought made me sad. Was there anything special about me to Linc or was I just a wounded animal and he was a caretaker? He made love to me and the way he held me and touched me felt genuine. It was making my headache worse thinking about this. I wanted to be special to him. I wanted him to like me for who I was, not for my circumstance. Maybe he had a savior complex, and I fed that desire. It didn’t matter now, anyway. I would probably never see him again.
I watched the boy lower his pants in front of Sarai. This made her protest even more, which landed another slap to the face.
“Be aggressive with them. If you’re too nice, they will take advantage of you. They won’t listen. Fear is your friend.”
The boy nodded. He didn’t look evil. He looked handsome and kind, but they were training him into a monster.
I closed my eyes while he raped Sarai. She cried but eventually submitted, like we all do. When he was done, he cleaned himself off and turned to me.
“Why is she up there?” he asked the older man.
“She’s Eddie’s.” That was his only reply. As if that was all the information needed to know why I was suffering up here. I was not Eddie’s. I wasn’t anyone’s.
After so many hours hanging, I wondered if I was going to die up here. I think our brains try to find an escape when it can’t understand. My brain is wondering if this is it for us. I wanted to cry. I could feel the lump in my throat but what would crying do? Crying does nothing and yet my body’s desire to allow tears to flow was overwhelming. Eventually they spilled out, and I tried to wipe them with my hanging shoulder. I was angry that I was crying right now, and I didn’t want anyone to see. I knew Eddie had me here as a punishment for having a nice 6 days. He hated that I didn’t suffer at the hands of a man and he allowed it. Eddie hated me.
I could tell everyone had fallen asleep now, although the warehouse was lit up like a Christmas tree. Even Sarai had finally dozed off. Every time I tried to close my eyes and sleep, my body would jerk me awake in a panic. I was getting hungry, but my desire for water became everything I thought about. I needed water.
When I finally heard Eddie’s voice in the warehouse, I got a sense of relief, like maybe he was going to let me down. He walked over to me and grabbed my right breast. He squeezed so hard it felt like it could pop. I bit down on my lip, trying to hide the pain.
“How’s daddy’s girl?” he asked.
I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but I was so thirsty I couldn’t think of anything else. “Thirsty,” I croaked.
He tilted his head to the side and laughed, “I got something you can drink.” He grabbed his dick through his pants and shook it.
I turned my head away. Disgusting bastard. I had already pissed myself twice while being tied up here. You could see the liquid stains on the concrete beneath me.
He leaned in close next to my face and I could smell the alcohol and cigarettes. “You’re going to die up here.” I could hear the smile creep into his voice. He enjoyed this. He enjoyed watching me suffer at his hands. I had flown under the radar for sometime but now that Linc had shined a light on me I was too bright to not be seen anymore. Despite knowing Linc had good intentions, I almost regretted ever meeting him and didn’t want to blame him. Although I would still be living in hell, at least I wasn’t suffering 24/7. Eddie was not someone I would beg to. I couldn’t give him the satisfaction. I would rather die up here on these ropes than let him think he had broken me.
“Tell me about your date,” Eddie said as he pulled up a chair and sat next to me. He bit into an apple and chewed. I could see the juice from the apple on his lips and it made me even more thirsty.
“I didn’t go on a date.”
Eddie laughed and stood up. He took off his belt, and I knew he was going to hit me with it. I tensed before the strike came. When it came, it hurt more than I thought. He hit me with the buckle right across my breast. It hurt so bad I knew he has broken the skin. He strolled back to his chair and repeated his questions.
“Now, tell me about your date?”
“W-we j-just went out for pizza.” I couldn’t let him know Linc was nice to me. “That’s it.”
He eyed me with his head tilted. “Did he fuck you?”
I nodded. I don’t know where he was going with these questions.
“Did you like it?”
“No.” I lied.
“Good,” he said. He got up from the chair and walked away.
I wanted to call out to him for water again, but my pride wouldn’t let me. I also didn’t want to meet the other end of that belt again.
Another hour passed of me hanging there. I finally began to doze off when I heard Sarai’s voice.
“Here’s some water.” She brought a water bottle up to my lips and I gulped with greed. I wanted to tell her she was being an idiot, but I was so thirsty I couldn’t think of anything else. When the water bottle was empty, she scurried back to our bed without a word. I could cry. I was so thankful for her. Whether or not she knew it, she had risked her life to give me water. I felt some sense of moral obligation to keep her safe now. If she did something like that again, she would put both of us in danger. I felt my brain fog decreasing as the water had rejuvenated me for a moment. When the thirst disappeared, my brain focused back on the cold. I needed to sleep.