Chapter 47 Laynie
Icouldn’t believe what happened to me at the coffee shop. I knew Julie was Linc’s ex or whatever she was to him. She was stunning, though. In every way, she was picture perfect. I felt extremely self conscious thinking that Linc had settled for me when he could have had her. I told J.C. about the incident later. Not leaving the part out about Kayla dumping the hot coffee on her outside the shop. We laughed a little at that part and I was feeling much better than earlier. I had changed and taken a nap. Linc was giving me space but making sure I ate. The rest of the afternoon, J.C. and I prepared the last-minute preparations for Linc’s surprise party tomorrow. Thankfully, J.C. knew not to invite Julie even before the coffee incident. I felt really anxious about that whole thing, but I hoped it would go well. There was one thing weighing on my mind, though.
“Is your dad coming?” I asked. J.C. I was shaking, waiting for her answer.
“I don’t think so.”
For some reason, I didn’t believe her. I let out the breath I was holding. “Does he hurt you?” I asked
Her eyes scanned the room, probably searching for evidence of Linc nearby. “Stop it,” she said, just above a whisper.
“He hurts me.” I don’t know why I said that. I wish I could take it back after the words left my mouth.
She was staring forward with her jaw clenched, but said nothing.
“Don’t tell him I said that, please.” I felt like a little kid, not an adult woman. I felt disgusted with myself.
“So what do you think about the cake I ordered?” She turned her laptop screen towards me, revealing a black and gold cake with drips along the sides.
I nodded and smiled, but wanted to cry.
I slept alone that night in the guest room. I wasn’t mad at Linc, I just wanted to be alone.
* * *
The next morning, Linc was already gone. J.C. probably sent him off to do some random errand. I didn’t even ask and honestly didn’t care. I was trying to not have a panic attack thinking about tonight.
J.C. told me to wear a dress, but I didn’t want to wear a dress because it made it easier for someone to rape me. I couldn’t say that to her, though. J.C. ruined my plan to wear jeans and a t-shirt. She refused to allow such attire. I eventually settled for a dress, but it was longer and reached my knees. It was black and had lace covering the arms. I wanted long sleeves to hide my scars, which, that; she understood.
I sat on the bed for two hours, running every single possible incident through my head. I couldn’t just cling to Linc’s side because he was the birthday boy, and all the attention would be on him.
The clock was ticking down, and I helped J.C. arrange a few last-minute decorations. But I was dissociating at every moment. It felt like this heavy block was sitting right on my chest and every time I breathed in, I could feel its weight suffocating me. I wished Charlie was here. She would understand.
J.C. gave the guest list to the doorman downstairs, so when the elevator dinged, I knew the first guest was here. I clenched the back of the couch and forced a smile on my face.
Inside the elevator were three men that I did not recognize, and relief flooded through me. We greeted them with drinks and appetizers.
Within 20 minutes, at least 40 people filled the room. I didn’t know a single one of them. I tried to convince myself the night was going to be fine, and I almost believed it until the elevator opened while I was cleaning off a dish in the sink. Don stood alone in the elevator with a black suit on and black alligator dress shoes. I dropped the dish in my hands a few guests turned to look at me. “Sorry,” I mouthed, but nothing actually came out of my mouth. My eyes were searching for J.C. and I spotted her near the couch. She walked forward and greeted Don, who kissed her on the cheek.
I wiped my hands on the kitchen rag and moved towards the bedroom when I heard the elevator ding again and Liam and Linc entered.
The entire room yelled “SURPRISE” except for me. I was still moving towards the bedroom. It felt like I was moving in slow motion and my hand would never reach the knob, but eventually I found it and closed the door behind me. The wheezing in my chest slowed as I bent down to touch my knees, gasping for breath. I needed to get out of here. How could I sneak out? Was it even possible to sneak out with a fucking elevator as your front door? Fuck!
I locked myself in the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I wish I could just hide in here until it was over, but I knew Linc would come looking for me soon and I couldn’t even tell him what was wrong.
My head fell between my shaking legs when I heard the bathroom door open.
“Laynie?” Linc’s voice was soft.
“Surprise,” I said, gulping back the lump in my throat.
“What’s wrong?” He moved towards me.
“Nothing, I just needed a moment.” I did my best to lie and collect myself. How unfair of me to do this to him on his fucking birthday. I could tell he didn’t believe me.
“You look so beautiful,” he said, smiling down at me.
“Thank you.”
“Come on. You can stay next to me. There’s nothing to worry about.”
I wanted to die.
We re-entered the party and, like I had feared, all the attention was on him, and now me. I tried my hardest to stay causal, but it must not have been working because J.C. whispered what’s wrong in my ear at least 3 times. I told her nothing every time, but she gave me a questioning look. I’m sure she knew what was wrong the moment her father entered the apartment.
I eventually pulled away from Linc and found the couch. I couldn’t pull out my phone or drink anything, because my hands were shaking at a unusual rate. Like a good girl, I clenched my hands together, placed them in my lap, and tried to smile.
Liam sat next to me. “Hey Laynie. You good?”
“Hey, uh, yeah. Thanks.” I wanted to like Liam because he genuinely seemed to care for Linc, but I’ll never forget what he did to me the night Linc found me. I never even told Linc because Liam was the only reason I escaped. Maybe one day I’d forgive him, but probably not.
He tried making small talk, but my eyes never left Don. I know he had seen me but he was avoiding eye contact, which was appreciated, but I knew it wouldn’t last. If there was one thing I had learned from the last 5 years was that these men would wait for their prey to become vulnerable and attack. I refused to get up from this couch until the night was over. My bladder was pressing against me, but I ignored it. My phone was vibrating and probably alerting me to a glucose level, but my pump should take care of it.
While I was staring at Don, a hand touched my shoulder and I nearly jumped off the couch.
“Hey, it’s me. You okay?” Linc asked.
I nodded, trying to smile. “Your sugar is low. You need to eat. I’ll make you a plate.”
So my sugar was low, not high. I couldn’t even focus on the signs my body was sending me, other than that danger was near. Linc handed me a plate of food and a fork, but I couldn’t even think about eating. I knew I needed to eat though, so I tried to still my hand as I ate some meatballs on my plate. He sat next to me and noticed my hand shaking. I could see the pain in his eyes. He felt bad for me. I could see it. I didn’t want him to feel this way. I wanted him to think I was normal and could be normal around people. But who was I kidding?
Linc had taken a few shots and was drinking something brown in his cup. I worried he would get drunk and pass out. Another fear creeped into my brain while I stared at his cup.
“Do you want to go into the room?” He didn’t sound or look drunk to me.
I nodded quickly and handed him my plate.
“Eat a few more bites first,” he said.
I shakily shoved some mac n cheese in my mouth and tried to hand him my plate again. He sighed, but took it this time.
He walked me to the bedroom, where I climbed into the bed with my dress on. “I’ll change when it’s over.”
“Okay, text me if you need something.”
“Can you lock the door, please?”
“Of course, baby.”
He walked out and sighed a sigh of relief. Nothing bad was going to happen to me tonight, and the tears soaked into my pillow.
Two hours passed while I scrolled through my phone waiting for the voices to get quieter, which meant people were leaving. I wondered if Linc was drunk now. I mean, he deserved to be drunk on his birthday.
I heard light tapping at the door and froze.
“Laynie, it’s J.C., let me in.”
I let out my breath and headed towards the door. I turned the lock and pulled the door open a bit to make sure it was J.C. When I saw her standing there, I pulled it open more but suddenly another hand pushed the door open hard, forcing me backwards. Don pushed himself into the room. J.C. had tears in her eyes while mouthing “I’m sorry,” over and over until Don closed the door, shutting her out.
“No please, please, no.”
He grabbed me around my throat and shoved me back onto the bed. His hands were working up my dress, yanking down my panties. “You better not fucking scream. Don’t forget our promise.”
“Please don’t do this.” I begged.
He laughed as he freed himself. He still had one hand wrapped around my throat while the other held me down. I let out a small scream when he entered me and he slapped me for it. After only a few thrusts, the door swung open, and Linc stood in the entryway.
He grabbed onto the back of Don’s neck and threw him off of me. Don flew several feet and landed against the bathroom door.
I scooted myself up on the bed into a sitting position, shaking with fear and embarrassment. I pulled my dress back down to cover myself.
“She wanted this, you fucking idiot!” Don screamed from the floor, trying to stand up on his feet. “Tell him! Tell him the truth, Alayna.” I saw spit leaving his mouth as he screamed at me.
The truth? He wanted me to lie to Linc. I wanted to vomit. Because the alternative was being trafficked again, I knew I had to go with his story. I would do anything to not be someone’s property again, and if that meant giving up the relationship with Linc, I would do it. “I’m sorry Linc.”
“We’ve been doing this behind your back this whole time son. I told you she was a whore,” Don spewed
“Laynie, this isn’t true. Why are you saying this? Has he threatened you?”
“No, it’s true. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.” The words leaving my mouth literally crushed my soul.
“Stop fucking lying!” he screamed at me.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. I closed my eyes because seeing his pain was too much to bear.
“Get the fuck out, then. Get your shit and get out.”
I had never heard him speak that way towards me and it hurt, but I understood. He thought I was voluntarily fucking his father. I was still in this stupid dress but I didn’t want to ask him if I could change. Granted none of those clothes were really mine anyway. One thing I knew was that I needed to get away from Don.
I ran out of the room and a few guests were still here, which was fucking embarrassing. I didn’t turn back to look at Linc because I just knew Don would be coming after me. Before anyone could join me, I stepped into the elevator and closed the door. When it dinged on the bottom floor, I ran towards the parking garage. I felt like an idiot in this dress, but knew I had to find a place to hide and soon. I chose a black SUV that was lifted enough for me to climb under but not as high as where you could see me. The concrete smelled like gasoline, but I pressed against the cold ground, anyway.
I waited there for 10 minutes until I heard Don’s voice enter the garage. No no no.
“Alayna, I will not chase you, but I will eventually find you. The longer you make me search for you, the longer your torture session is going to be. Starting the timer now.”
Now that he was in the garage, I knew he would find me, and it was just a matter of time. I think this was the moment I decided the next chance I got; I was going to kill myself. Knowing this allowed me to climb out from under the SUV and surrender to him.
“Here,” I said, stumbling forward. “Here!” I screamed this time.
He slowly turned from the direction he was walking and made eye contact with me.
“Good girl,” he said, stopping his watch.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked.
“Because I can, essentially.” His nonchalant tone sent me over the edge.
“I never told Linc about anything and I lied for you! I did everything you asked,” I sobbed as he walked towards me. “Please, just leave me alone or kill me. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Touch her and I’ll blow your brains out, right here.” Linc’s voice echoed from behind me.