4. Out of the Woods
Out of the Woods
I t all happened at once.
First, everything came back in loud, screaming color. The image of my mother and the hunters disappeared like a mirage. Aunt Max, Uncle Everett, and Talli stood in front of me. Worried looks were on all their faces. Distantly, I heard them calling out to me, begging for me to come back to them.
Next came the pain. So much pain. It was so intense, sharp, and stabbing. It was much worse than the scratches I felt in the cave. This pain was centered in my back and shoulders. Four long, large cuts opened close to my spine and shoulder blades. It was all worsened by the feeling of something trying to surface from the wounds. It made me scream with my whole body, but my scream was silent. If I was an outsider looking in, I probably would think I looked haunting, like a banshee foreshadowing a death. I couldn’t think through it. I couldn’t move except to bend over in pain.
When I was ready to meet my mom in the next world from the agony, the world exploded, and it all became too much for me to bear.
Everything shook. The glass from the living room windows and the French doors erupted from the frames, shards flying all around the house. Even my glasses flew from my face to shatter. Stones from the fireplace cracked away. Crystals and jewelry from the mantle, the table, my bedroom—everywhere—flew up to surround me. They encircled me in widely spaced layers, but they were growing closer together. I knew it all would soon encase me in crystal.
Watching them swirl around me, I realized then that I was levitating and rising higher toward the ceiling. A strange, foreign wind ballooned my clothes out. My long black braids snapped and whipped my face. I felt the same power from the caverns come from me, but I wasn’t consciously controlling anything. I felt like I was the source of the mayhem. Worse, my back and shoulders strained, against something wanting to burst out and be free. It was beyond painful. I had a feeling I should do something to help stop it. But there was a not-so-small part of me that wanted to give in. I think it was that same voice from the caves. It was growing stronger.
“Byrd! Byrdie, what’s going on?”
“Treesong! Are you okay? Talk to us!”
I couldn’t speak. I wanted to scream my lungs out, but it hurt to even breathe. Like thousands of needles pressing into me, with every point stabbing harder and deeper if I threatened to move at all. It all hurt too much. All I could do was cry and wrap my arms around myself to try to hold myself together.
The walls of the house cracked. The stones and glass flew so quickly around the house, crashing into everything and breaking on contact. The counters, floors, the stairs, the furniture, nothing was safe. Talli had cast a coral bubble around her, Aunt Max, and Uncle Everett to fight the onslaught. But as more things broke, more projectiles were made to be flung and batter the shield.
Suddenly, the front door flew open. I heard it more than I saw it. My focus was pulled once I heard the voice.
“Byrdie! What’s going on here?” Pops. His Southern baritone voice reverberated through the house to cut through the chaos and destruction happening.
“I have a theory,” Talli yelled. “But we will have to get her calmed down.”
“What happened? Why is she up there in the first place?”
“Not sure!” Aunt Max answered this time. “I was just making her favorite drink when she started calling for her momma and talking as if she was there. Then all of this happened.”
“Oh, shit. Oh, shit, shit, shit, fuck ,” Pops cursed. Pops never cursed. Not with me around. “She was calling for her mom because she was here.”
“What?!” Auntie Max and Uncle Ever exclaimed at once.
“Byrd was reliving Doe’s memory. It’s a dragonborn thing, our last bit of magic dispersing into our offspring.”
“Then we need to get her down. Now ,” Talli ordered.
“I’m on it.”
Immediately, the earthquake stopped. The stones halted in mid-flight. The glass and the crystals still swirled around me, forming a tighter enclosure. The sharp things continued to press through the cuts on my back, feeling like they were reaching a breaking point. But there was a shift in the air now.
Then wings flapped until my father hovered before me. His shirt was off, with his enormous aquamarine, topaz, and emerald wings keeping him suspended in air. Where Mom’s wings were more like traditional dragon wings, Pops’ wings were feathered. His long tail, with matching feathers at its end, swished behind him, steadying him. His soft dirt brown eyes—the same color as my own—met mine with resolve atop unbearable sadness.
“Hi there, baby Byrd. How you doing?”
I almost wanted to laugh. I would have if the situation was any different. Pops always knew how to diffuse any crisis, how to thin the tension. It’s why he was such a good detective. He never let things escalate.
“My back hurts, Dad,” I choked out, finally finding my voice through the pain and my sobs. It was the second time I had ever called him that. “It hurts so bad .”
“I know, Byrdie. I know. It’s going to be okay. I’m here now. I’m going to make it okay. You’re going to be okay.”
“Nothing will ever be okay. Never again.”
Pops shook his head. “It will be. You have to trust me.”
“No, no, no!” I shook my head. “You don’t know that!”
“It will be okay. Things won’t be okay tonight. Or tomorrow. Or even a couple weeks from now?—”
“Not your best pep talk, Pops.”
“—But eventually, we’ll find an okay. Tonight, we have each other. That’ll have to be enough for us. That’ll have to be okay. That’ll have to be okay for now.” Pops held his hand out toward me. “Let’s get you down from here, baby Byrd. It’s going to be okay.”
I stared at his hand. I knew I should take it. He used the nickname he and Mom always called me, their baby Byrd. Their sweet, delicate, innocent only daughter. Plus, he was my Pops. I ran to Uncle Everett to take me places or to teach me to throw a punch. I went to Auntie Max to gossip and chit-chat. I talked about whatever reality show we were watching and everything else with Mom. Pops was for when I was scared, when I was tired of talking, when I wanted calm from the storm of life. He would just hold me.
Even now, there was a part of me that wanted to believe Pops, to take his hand and let him help me escape this. But I was frozen.
He can’t make it okay. He can’t take the pain away. He can’t bring Mom back. There’s nothing anyone can do.
“Baby Byrd, it’s going to be okay. Take my hand.”
“No, you’re wrong,” I whispered. Then I shouted. “You can’t make it okay! You don’t know if everything will be okay. You don’t know anything! Not for sure! She didn’t know!”
The words flew from my mouth and slammed back into me, knocking the breath out of me. We’ll always be around to keep you safe. That’s what she always said to me. It was a certainty, like the sun rising tomorrow. I never doubted she was right.
Look where that got you.
She was gone, and nothing would ever be the same now.
She was wrong. How can you believe Pops now?
Without Mom, how could I ever believe that everything was just going to magically be okay ever again?
It never will be. Just let go.
Suddenly, my back burst in a brilliant firework of pure agony. It felt like the four knives had finally broken to the surface. They cut me from the inside out, slicing me into pieces. I squeezed my eyes shut until I saw stars. I screamed, this time with a wail that came from deep within.
“Forrest! You need to hurry! We need to get her down now !” I heard Talli yell from below.
“We have to leave! The house is coming down!” I could hear Everett shouting.
That’s right. If she can leave, everyone else will eventually leave you, too.
“No!” Pops yelled. He was still in front of me. Waiting. Willing to stay. “I’m not leaving Byrd behind! I’m not giving up on her!”
Through the swirling pain and devastation inside and outside of me, I felt soft hands on each of my tear-soaked cheeks. Their hold was both gentle and firm around my face.
“Hey, hey, hey. Look at me, baby Byrd,” Pops called to me, but my eyes remained closed. “Brydgette Fallon Pierce, open your eyes and look at me right now .”
Pops had never used my full name before.
I listened to him, opening my eyes to look into the same brown eyes as mine, the color as rich as the Georgia soil. They twinkled. He was always so proud of me. Even now, as he looked at me in the mess that was all my fault.
“There’s my baby Byrd.” He smiled. Something uncoiled inside of me at something so familiar, so normal. “Now, you listen to me. I know it hurts now. I know it all hurts right now. But you’ve been here before, haven’t you? Remember when you were little? When you fell from climbing that tree and broke your wrist? It hurt horribly, didn’t it? But what did your mom say when she saw you? What did she say about all of that pain?”
“Sh-she said,” I choked through sobs at the memory of mom’s gentle touch and reassuring kisses. “That it would pass. Th-that the pain would be less the next day, and I would be better before I knew it.”
“Exactly. And was she wrong?”
“No, she wasn’t.”
“Exactly. She wasn’t wrong then, and she isn’t wrong now. You trusted her then, and now you have to trust her again. We will get through this. We will be okay. Let’s take everything one moment at a time. In this moment, let’s find our okay.”
In this moment, let’s find our okay.
In this moment, let’s find our okay.
Let’s find our okay.
Those words sliced through Mom’s words, the strange voice in my head, and the heavy pit in my stomach. I coughed out one last sob before I sighed. There was still a weight in my chest, the pains in my back, but…
Through the stabbing in my back, I mustered all the strength I could to pull my arms from holding my shoulders to grab Pops’ neck. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. His embrace was actually cool around me, like fresh dirt. His heartbeat was loud and steady.
“We’re going to be okay,” Pops said, his beard tickling my ears. “Now, let’s go home.”
I chuckled. We were home already. But there was something about his comfort that made it still ring true.
Around us, the air calmed. The breeze that snapped my braids stilled, leaving just the soft winds from Pops’ wings to brush my braids back behind my shoulders. The lines of rocks and crystals and glass encircling me started to flow away piece-by-piece. The glass shards flew to the empty window, door, and glasses frames. Each shard stuck itself to the frame and joined with each other. My glasses returned to my face, adding clarity to the world. Stones from the fireplace returned to their home. The crystals danced around me and grazed my skin before returning to their homes. Like my Advanced Sciences teacher described, the universe always wanted to return to neutral when it strayed too far into chaos or good. This was the world returning to normal.
To okay.
“Attention, passengers. We are beginning our final descent. Please ensure your tray tables and seats are in their upright, locked positions. We know you have a lot of options out there, so I thank you for choosing Air Pops.”
“Please, Pops. It hurts too much to laugh.”
Pops gripped me tighter as we approached the ground. By the time we landed, the house looked like it had before, maybe even better.
Aunt Max looked around the house with wonder. “Talli, this you?”
Talli shook her head. “It’s all from Byrd. It’s incredible that it’s coming from someone so young.”
“Like mother, like daughter!” Pops declared proudly. “Doe’s powers manifested early for her age, too. She’s like a clone of her momma.”
Pops’ eyes twinkled with pride again, and my heart warmed. Everyone had always said that I was the spitting image of Mom. My mudpie brown eyes and light-skin were the only things I got from Pops. Everything else was Mom. Between us, we had the same straight eyebrows, large upturned round eyes, black nose, high cheekbones, and full lips. Our hair was full of the same tight kinky ringlet curls. We were the same height and had the same curvy build. Our voices were even similar. Mom always said that was how the women were on her side of the family. Maybe there were a few differences, like the eye color or the hair color or some freckles, but you could always tell that they were Pierce women—our bloodline so strong, men took our last name instead of the other way around. I always loved when people said we were just alike. To me, that meant I was going to be like Mom. I would have her grace, her strength, her power. I would become a dragon like her. She was perfect in every way, and I wanted that for myself.
I tried to act like I always act when I hear those words. I wanted to beam and hold them close to my heart like the truth that I wanted them to be.
But then, a lightning bolt struck me.
The pain… It was the worst yet. It hit me so hard that I felt torn in two. It flared from the storm in my back so brightly that I was blinded. My breath was stolen, and it threatened to take my consciousness, too. My body was alive like a live wire. Everything from my fingers to my toes pulsed like I was being electrified. I couldn’t move.
I think it finally happened. The pain won. It controlled me now. And I couldn’t even scream.
“What’s happening? What’s wrong with her!” Pops shouted. I must have fallen over when the pain struck because I could feel myself in his arms. I wanted to lift my head and look into his eyes, but the pain wouldn’t allow for it. It kept me still inside my shaking body.
“I don’t know. I don’t?—”
“You have to know, Tallis! You have to! You are the only one who could know!”
A crack thundered through the room. I heard a scream. Was that mine? It couldn’t be, could it? I couldn’t move a finger, let alone scream. Right?
“What was that?” Auntie Max asked.
“Turn her on her front.” Talli’s voice was monotone, distant.
“Why? What is going on—” Pops pushed.
A crunch. This one louder than the last and followed by a few tiny pops. My blood chilled. That was my scream. The pain must have sent me somewhere else. I felt and didn’t feel all at once.
So much at once.
“I need to see her back! Turn her over now !” Talli commanded.
I felt my body turn over.
“I’m going to lift your shirt up and look at your back, Byrdie-Bee, okay?” I appreciated the sentiment, but I couldn’t have responded to Talli if I wanted to. And the pain didn’t want me to. This pain had the same presence as the voice from the caverns. It had other plans that it refused to tell me. It felt like an old friend and the perfect stranger. What was it? Who was it? What did it want?
I felt Talli pull my shirt up. I expected it to catch on something with the sharp blades I felt in my back. But instead, everyone’s breath caught in a collective gasp.
“ Holy fuck . What the fuck are those?” Uncle Everett cursed.
“What’s happening to her?” Aunt Max asked.
“What are those, Talli?” Pops asked.
“Those are the beginnings of wings.” Talli stated simply.
“They look like… Dragonfly wings?” Everett said.
“She’s sprouting wings. This is all worse than I feared.”
“What? Talli, what are you talking about? What’s wrong with my daughter? Is she?—?”
“I’ve only seen this once before,” Talli interrupted. She rose from where she must have been crouched over me. She took a deep breath.
“I have only seen this once before,” she continued. “She was eleven. Dragon-shifter. Her parents had both been murdered by hunters. Her grandmother called me to help with the arrangements. I was there when the girl heard about her parents. I was there when she… She…”
A beat passed. Meanwhile, snaps reverberated through the room like wood crackling in the fire. I wanted to throw up. It was too loud in my ears. I heard her boots against the hardwood floor as she crossed the room. When I thought she wouldn’t continue, she persisted.
“Dragon-shifters are born human. They are one of the few shifters who are. It’s for protection, a biological safety net to protect them from exposing themselves to hunters, the one being that can kill a dragon. But once they hit puberty, the dragon begins to manifest. Their scales appear, their teeth sharpen, their powers grow, and the magic within brings out their wings and tail. The process allows them to become a dragon when their body is ready for the change. It’s a slow process, so that they can learn, control, and adapt to each change.
“But the dragon inside is like any animal. It reacts to stress and will fight whatever is causing the distress, even if it’s at the dragonborn’s own detriment. If a dragon-shifter is pushed too far too soon, the dragon will try to manifest at once instead of gradually.”
“And what happens if it does?” Pops asked.
“I was there when the grandmother told the girl what happened to her parents. The girl was overcome with grief. She couldn’t handle it. So, her dragon manifested to try to protect her, to help her face what she couldn’t bear. But it tore her apart. Her dragon could withstand anything. Dragons are invincible. They can conquer anything. But the girl’s body… It wasn’t ready for the change.”
“Talli…”
“Eleven years old, Forrest… She had her whole life ahead of her. Even beyond this thing, the worst thing to ever happen to her at the time…”
“Talli!”
“She died with me right there?—”
“ Tallis , listen to me! Byrd is stronger than that. She is older and stronger. She can’t die. Please, Tallis! I… I…” Pops paused, broken, his voice cracking. “I can’t lose her, too. Not her, too.”
A moment passed. It felt like a lifetime.
“There is one thing I always wondered if it would have made a difference?—”
“Yes! Anything! Let’s try it! Right now! What are we waiting for?—?”
“If it works, it could save her life?—”
“Okay! Then?—”
“But it could mean that her dragon would never manifest.”
The air was sucked out of the room almost instantly. The room was so quiet. Even my shifting body paused. No . I wanted to cry. That just couldn’t be the only way. It just couldn’t be. My scream sounded more like a roar of protest.
“We can’t do that.”
“It’s the only way, Forrest.”
“There has to be something else.”
“It’s the only way for her to live.”
“ NO ! Clipping a bird’s wings is no way to save her from dying, Tallis. Byrd has wanted to be a dragon her whole life . You know that! I can’t take her dream away like that!”
“But you are willing to take her life instead?!”
Silence weighed heavily around the room. It was suffocating.
Yet, I was powerless again to do anything but remain quiet.
Suddenly, I felt my shoulders snap up and back. The sound was deafening. And the pain? This was truly the worst pain yet. My scream made my throat raw. I could feel my body convulse.
“Max! Everett! Hold her down! Now !” My aunt and uncle kept me still. I knew they were taking all the care they could not to hurt me, but the pain of their touch… I hollered.
“Forrest! We don’t have time for this! Doe would want her to live.”
“Don’t you dare?—!“
“Doe would want her to live, and you know it. We all know it. She would especially want her to live as a human. Especially if it meant she’d be safe. Why’d you think she ever called me in the first place when Byrd was born? She wanted Byrd safe and happy, no matter the cost. No matter what it meant for Byrd’s dragon. Doe put Byrd first. Always. Don’t let her sacrifices mean absolutely nothing, Forrest. I need your okay on this now !”
I felt a cool hand on my forehead. I knew it had to be Pops. I could feel so much of his love and worry through such a simple touch. I wish I could see him, see his smile that he always had when he was looking at me. I wish I could say something. But all I could do was scream and stare into the dark. I felt a soft kiss on my head.
Then: “Okay, but… If we are doing this, you have to make her forget. Dragons, hunters, all of it. Make her forget.”
“Forrest Theodore Pierce, are you fucking insane?” Aunt Max cursed. This was almost as bad as losing my dragon. He couldn’t be serious.
“She can remember supernatural creatures exist, but I don’t want her to remember this part of the world. Not this loss. This, along with her mom’s murder, would destroy her. We would never be able to get her back.”
“You don’t know that! She’s so much stronger and more resilient than you think. Don’t do this, Forrest?—”
“There’s no time for this, Max! This is the best plan that we have to keep her alive. Her dragon is trying to break its way out of her as we waste time talking about this.”
“I can do a Forget-Me-Maybe spell,” Talli explained quickly. “This is a super powerful spell, but it will be strong enough to contain Byrd’s dragon. The spell requires a guarantee, like an insurance policy, to ensure it isn’t broken easily. Magic always requires a trade in return. Everyone will have to forget for this to work. Even you, Forrest. You won’t be able to shift or even remember what you are unless the hunters return and Byrd is in danger.”
“This is crazy! She wouldn’t want this!” Auntie Max argued.
“No, but Doe would. It’s better this way,” Pops said.
“I need everyone’s consent.”
“Do it,” Pops said.
“Okay,” Uncle Everett agreed.
“I will only agree to it to keep her alive. There’s going to be consequences to this, Forrest,” I heard Auntie Max relent.
“I won’t remember, either,” Talli continued. “Only Byrd will be able to break this spell, and that’s only when she’s ready and wants to do so.”
“I truly just want her to have that chance,” Pops sighed.
“Then we are ready.” I heard Talli approach. “Okay. Byrdie-Bee, this is going to hurt, so I’m going to put you to sleep, okay? It’s all going to be okay. When you wake up, this will all be over.”
That voice roared in my ears, telling me to fight this, to do something. I wished for so much. To avoid all of this. To have Mom burst through the door, stop this, and tell everyone how wrong they were. To have this end differently. It was all so impossible. Still, I felt a hand on my forehead. Still, I wasn’t able to say a word. Still, the voice snarled and tried to fight where I couldn’t. But I was still. Talli spoke words under her breath. I began to fall asleep.
Before I drowned in sleep’s depths, I heard Pops whisper, “You’ll be fine, baby Byrd. You are strong. You will show us. One day.”