CHAPTER 17
Noeul spent the next three days almost entirely alone in Chung-Hee’s apartment. Twice a day, one of Chung-Hee’s employees entered only long enough to open Noeul’s food and water and leave them within reach. Beyond those brief, wordless visits, he had no real contact with another human being.
Chung-Hee, he assumed, was overwhelmed with work.
He always returned after Noeul had fallen asleep and left again before he woke.
He felt like a prisoner. Unable to leave the apartment.
Unable to shower. Unable to use his hands properly.
Without money. Without a phone. Without anyone to talk to.
Part of him wanted to protest, to demand an explanation for why Chung-Hee had suddenly become so distant again.
But he already knew. This was his punishment. He had to earn forgiveness.
On the fourth morning, Chung-Hee finally appeared. He was drinking freshly brewed coffee when Noeul walked into the kitchen. “You look like shit.”
“And whose fault is that?” Noeul shot back. “I can’t even take this hoodie off. I can barely drink water, I can’t hold chopsticks, and using the toilet is torture. I haven’t showered in three days.” His voice cracked with frustration. “I can’t do this anymore. I feel useless.”
“Sorry,” Chung-Hee replied, his tone flat. “I canceled all my appointments last week. My schedule has been impossible ever since.”
For a fleeting second, Noeul wondered if that had been because of him. The thought disappeared in an instant.
“From today on, you’ll have help,” Chung-Hee continued. “Let me help you shower, then get dressed and follow me.”
Noeul nodded, though he wasn’t convinced. “You were so busy you couldn’t spare even half an hour to check whether I was alive?” he asked as he walked toward the bathroom. “You left me here to rot. Don’t make excuses. You avoided me on purpose.”
In an instant, Chung-Hee closed the distance between them.
He shoved Noeul against the wall and pinned him there, one hand holding his jaw still.
“You’re too smart for your own good, Noeul,” he murmured near his ear, his voice calm enough to be unsettling.
“Be careful how you speak to me.” He paused.
“Next time, I won’t disappear for only three days. ”
Before Noeul could react, Chung-Hee bit the side of his neck, leaving a fresh mark behind. He stepped away as though nothing had happened. Noeul said nothing. More than the threat, it was Chung-Hee’s admission that hurt. He really had abandoned him on purpose. The old ache of rejection resurfaced.
When they were ready, San drove them to a modern residential building in Nonhyeon-dong. Beige stone, black-framed windows, understated luxury. “This is your new home,” Chung-Hee said, gesturing toward the entrance. It wasn’t a suggestion.
San and the bodyguards remained outside while the two of them entered the apartment.
“You’ll be living with Park Rei and Han Jin.
You’ve already met them. They’re both around your age, unmarried, and have been sharing this apartment for the past year.
” Chung-Hee sat on the leather sofa. Noeul remained standing near the front door.
“No.” His answer came without hesitation. “I’ll find my own place. I can’t live surrounded by people.”
“Don’t even think about it.” Chung-Hee’s voice was quiet. Firm. “After your suicide attempt, and while you’re refusing professional help, you are not living alone.” He held Noeul’s gaze. “I won’t take that risk.”
Noeul couldn’t even respond. The man standing before him had taken everything that allowed him to leave: his money, his ID, his passport. What was he supposed to do? Where could he go? Who would take him in? His thoughts searched desperately for someone…anyone besides his family.
As though he had read his mind, Chung-Hee spoke. “If you seek shelter from any of the few friends you still have left…” His voice remained calm. “I’ll destroy them.”
Noeul stepped closer until they were only inches apart. “You won’t.” His voice was low. “If you lay a hand on even one person I love… I’ll kill you.”
A faint, humorless smile spread across Chung-Hee’s face. “No one has hurt the people you love more than you have.” The words landed like a slap. “Don’t blame your cowardice on me.”
Noeul’s eyes filled with tears. “I hate you.” His voice shook. “You’re nothing like Haneul.”
For the first time since entering the apartment, Chung-Hee’s composure snapped.
He crossed the room in two strides, seized Noeul by the throat, and forced him back against the wall.
“It was you and your brother who made me what I am today.” His grip tightened.
“Everything I’m doing to you now…” His eyes burned into Noeul’s.
“…is because of you. And your brother. I feel nothing for you.” His voice had become frighteningly quiet. “No pity. No compassion. Only disgust.”
Noeul coughed, struggling for air. The last illusion he had been clinging to finally shattered.
He had searched for kindness in the wrong person.
“Fine…” he rasped. “It’s all my fault.” Tears streamed down his face.
“I’m a murderer.” His voice broke. “So let me die.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Please… just let me die.”
For a brief moment, Chung-Hee simply stared at him. “Die?” His laugh was almost empty. “You haven’t suffered enough yet. You haven’t carried enough guilt.”
“Get out.” His breathing had become uneven. “I said get out.” He pointed toward the door. “No.” He shook his head. “This isn’t even my home.” His voice trembled with anger. “You stay. I’ll leave. You brought me here without asking me what I wanted.” He turned toward the door.
He didn’t make it more than a step. Chung-Hee caught his arm.
“Let me go.” Noeul struggled against his grip. “I don’t care anymore. Keep the money. The phone. My ID. I never want to see you again. I hate you.”
He tried to pull free. Chung-Hee didn’t move. “Why?” Another cold smile. “Because I’m telling you the truth?”
“You don’t know the truth!” Noeul shouted, wrenching harder against his grip.
Chung-Hee shoved him backward. His body struck the wall. The impact sent blinding pain through his injured hand. Noeul doubled over instantly, clutching it against his chest.
Chung-Hee stepped toward him. “You can’t stand the truth.” His voice remained unnervingly calm. “You can’t accept one simple fact. That it was your fault.”
Noeul stood frozen, breathing through the pain.
He forced himself to look up. “Hyung…” His voice was barely audible.
“I’ve been living in hell since the day Haneul died.
” He swallowed hard. “I wasn’t the one who killed him.
I failed to protect him.” His eyes burned.
“But being treated like a murderer…” The words refused to come.
He lowered his head. “That’s my truth. What else do I owe you? ”
“A life,” Chung-Hee answered without hesitation. “You owe me a life. And if you’re expecting mercy…” He slowly shook his head. “You won’t find any. You don’t deserve it.”
Without thinking, he swung. The punch barely connected. Pain exploded through his injured hand. A second later, warm blood poured down his wrist. He stared at it in confusion. Only then did the dizziness begin. He reached the door before his knees gave way.
“Hyung…” His voice was barely more than a whisper. “I’m bleeding…”
Chung-Hee turned. Too late. Noeul collapsed before he could reach him.