Chapter 66
Clay
Idon’t remember grabbing my gear.
Don’t remember walking out of the room.
Don’t remember anything between hearing her name—
And this.
Weapon check.
Loaded.
Clean.
Ready.
Same as always.
Everything is the same.
Except it’s not.
“Easy.”
Russ’s voice cuts in from behind me.
Low.
Controlled.
Too calm.
I don’t look up.
“I am.”
That word again.
I hear it this time.
Don’t like it.
Don’t stop saying it.
“Doesn’t look like it,” he replies.
I finish checking my mag.
Slide it into place.
Secure.
Precise.
“Looks fine to me.”
A pause.
Then footsteps.
Closer.
I can feel him there now.
Standing just off my shoulder.
Watching.
Waiting.
“You’re rushing,” he says.
“I’m efficient.”
“You’re compensating.”
That—
That hits a nerve.
I glance up then.
Meet his gaze.
Flat.
Unyielding.
“I’m getting ready.”
“For what?” he asks.
My jaw tightens.
“You already know.”
“Say it.”
That almost makes me laugh.
Almost.
“We’re going after her.”
“No,” he says.
Just like that.
Flat.
Final.
My grip tightens around the table.
“That’s the mission.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
There it is.
That line.
The one he doesn’t cross unless it matters.
I straighten slightly.
Face him fully now.
“What do you want me to say?”
“I want to know if you’re going after her,” he says, “or if you’re going after this like every other mission.”
There’s a difference.
We both know it.
I just don’t—
A memory flashes.
Her voice.
Sharp.
“You’re not ready.”
My jaw locks.
Hard.
“I don’t mix things,” I say.
It sounds right.
Feels right.
It’s a lie.
Russ studies me.
Long enough that it starts to get under my skin.
“You sure about that?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
Too fast.
Too sharp.
Too—
Yeah.
He heard it.
Of course he did.
“You hesitate out there,” he says quietly, “you get someone killed.”
“I don’t hesitate.”
“No,” he agrees. “You don’t.”
That’s not a compliment.
That’s a warning.
Silence stretches between us.
Heavy.
Because we both know what’s really being said.
“You’re not pulling me off this,” I add.
Not a question.
Not a request.
A fact.
His expression doesn’t change.
“I wasn’t planning to.”
That—
That I didn’t expect.
I narrow my eyes slightly.
“Then what is this?”
“This is me making sure you don’t do something stupid,” he says.
“I don’t do stupid.”
“You do when you don’t think.”
That lands.
Because it’s true.
Because he knows it.
Because I know it.
I exhale slowly.
Force the tension down.
Lock it back where it belongs.
“She’s one of ours,” I say.
That part’s true.
Safe.
Simple.
Clear.
Russ nods once.
“Yeah,” he says. “She is.”
But he doesn’t look convinced.
Not entirely.
“You keep it that way,” he adds. “You bring her back. That’s the job.”
“I know the job.”
“Then do it.”
Another beat.
Then—
“Not because you didn’t finish a conversation,” he says quietly.
That—
That hits harder than anything else.
Because he’s not wrong.
Because that’s exactly what this is.
I look away first.
Grab the rest of my gear.
Secure it.
Check it.
Focus.
Because I’m not standing here talking about this anymore.
“Wheels up in ten,” Lucas calls from across the bay.
Good.
Something to do.
Something to move toward.
I sling my pack over my shoulder.
Ignore the pull in my ribs.
Ignore everything else.
Russ doesn’t stop me this time.
Doesn’t say anything else.
But I feel it.
That look.
That knowing.
Like he already sees where this is going.
Like he knows something I don’t.
Or won’t admit.
Doesn’t matter.
Not right now.
Right now—
There’s only one thing that matters.
I move toward the exit.
Fast.
Focused.
Locked in.
Because this isn’t about unfinished conversations.
Not about what she said.
Not about the look on her face when I walked out—
It’s not about any of that.
It’s the mission.
That’s it.
That’s all.
And I’m not too late.
I don’t get to be too late.