15. She Saw Two Endings
She Saw Two Endings
Lola
Unknown
Did you think I wouldn’t find you?
I stopped.
My hand stalled mid-air, the white picket gate just out of reach. When I turned, the red door gave nothing away. I couldn’t see down the hallway or into the kitchen. A heavy thud echoed in my chest.
Did I lock the back door?
It didn’t always catch. I had to flip the deadbolt too, and sometimes, I forgot.
My thoughts muddled as I replayed the steps I’d taken that morning—breakfast, a load of laundry, a quick shower, I got dressed…
But… Maybe I’d forgotten the deadbolt after hanging the last basket of linen on the washing line?
I clapped a hand over my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut, fear tightening in my lungs.
Breathe, Lola. Just breathe.
I swung my bag onto my shoulder and scurried down the path. Yolanda hovered by the fence. The jet of water gushing from her hose pointed at her rose bushes, and her face stayed hidden behind a puff of smoke, but I knew she was watching me.
Forcing a laugh, I blurted out, “I forgot something.”
My hand shook as I stuck the key in the lock. I shoved my shoulder against the front door and barrelled inside, almost tumbling to my knees in the hallway.
My sanctuary had to stay safe. It had to.
Dashing from room to room, I checked every window, every door, running my fingers over the catches and double-checking every lock.
I knew this day would come, but I still wasn’t prepared. Running away from a man like Chris wasn’t like the movies. I couldn’t fake my own death or change my identity. I needed to work. I needed to live .
Stupidly, I’d hoped this time he’d eventually just…give up. Why did he even want me? He wasn’t short of women fawning over him. He was wealthy and successful. People admired him. Me? I did nothing right.
But the other times I’d attempted to escape, he’d hunted for me. A day. A week. He always found me and convinced me to give him another chance by crying promises that he’d change and finally get help. He never did.
I glanced at my phone. The message stared back at me, but my hand had stopped shaking when I hit “Block.”
“It’s over this time,” I said to the screen. “Forever.”
After a few swipes of a brush through my hair, a fresh coat of lip gloss, and a big breath, I yanked open the door to start my day again. I turned the key and rattled the knob. Definitely locked.
“Is that a new dress?” Yolanda called as I headed back down the path.
“Oh, um… yes…” I smoothed the polka dots, suddenly even more self-conscious under her steely eyes.
“Decided to get pretty for your date with the Hollyoak boy, eh?”
Of course she knew about that. Nothing stayed a secret from the church ladies.
“It’s not a date,” I said.
It wasn’t.
I had invited Ryan out for a coffee. The box of muffins stuffed in my bag was simply a polite gesture after he’d insisted on paying for coffee last time.
It wasn’t like when I’d baked for Aiden.
Ryan would talk about farm things I didn’t understand.
I’d prattle on about books he wouldn’t read.
The farmer was kind and easy to talk to, but we had nothing in common.
Yolanda croaked a laugh. “Not a date, she says. That won’t be what everyone thinks when they see you with him.” She blew a puff of smoke into the sky. “That won’t be what Aiden thinks.”
“Well, I don’t really care what Aiden thinks. That big beast can just…just…” Ugh, why did thinking about him always turn me into a raving fool? “He can just shove off!”
“Oh, pet. Give him time.”
“To what? Treat me like trash again? No thank you. I’d rather enjoy my very platonic coffee with my very platonic friend, Ryan.”
She smirked. “Maybe I should head into town early to take over the cake stall. When word gets out, I wouldn’t mind seeing the reaction of your big beast.”
“Like clockwork,” I muttered.
There he was—the big beast himself.
Every Saturday morning, at precisely 10:20 a.m., Aiden parked his truck a decent hike away from the village markets before heading inside to load up a box of groceries.
Sometimes, Harry joined him. Most of the time, he wandered around alone, looking like the cramped, hot hall was the last place on earth he’d rather be.
My plan to wait nearby, casually glancing at my phone—well, there’d been a hiccup to deal with. Aiden might have been on time, but I was behind schedule. My ballet flats scuttled quicker along the uneven stone path.
Panting, I managed to call out, “Aiden!” I waved. “Wait!”
I didn’t want him getting any closer to town. Jogging wasn’t for me, but some exchanges weren’t meant to be seen by the prying eyes of people passing by. I’d be dodging enough questions when people saw me with Ryan. I wasn’t about to add Aiden back onto the Person of Interest list, too.
He flicked the car door shut. Furrowed brows and grey eyes turned.
“Hi! Sorry!” I tried to gulp in some air. “Sorry. I wanted to catch you.” I unhooked the strap of my bag, took out the box of muffins, and then rummaged through the rest of my junk to find what I needed. Aha! There, under the balls of wool. “Here.”
Aiden stared at the brown paper package in my hand. “You…bought me a…gift?” The crease between his brows deepened.
I snorted a laugh. “No.” In his dreams. “It’s your shirt.”
He stared at me.
I jiggled the package. Why wasn’t he taking it? “I washed and ironed it for you.”
“It’s…wrapped…”
“I’m learning that certain people in this town are very keen to read into a situation. If they see me give you a shirt… Well, you can imagine.” I shoved it at him. “Pretend it’s mail. Make up any story you want if someone asks.”
“But you washed it.”
“And ironed it. I know most people hate ironing, but I sort of love it. There’s something so satisfying about watching all the creases smooth out.
And you can listen to an audiobook or put on some music…
” I trailed off with a nervous laugh. There was that rambling again.
Even when Aiden stood like a blank wall, he coaxed too many words from my mouth. “Your shirt is as good as new!”
His whole face drooped. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he was devastated. “But your smell won’t be in it anymore if you’ve washed it.”
Um … “That’s the whole point, isn’t it?”
Heaving a sigh, he took the package from me. “What’s in the box?” He nodded at my other hand.
“Muffins!” I grinned. “I tried out a new recipe with an apple crumble topping. I baked them for Ryan—”
“You baked apple muffins for Ryan Hollyoak?” His nostrils flared from a deep breath in.
“Yes?”
“Goddammit, Lola. That’s…” He dragged a hand through his hair. “I didn’t think it would be so soon.” When I blinked at him, confused, he added, “You. Moving on.”
“It’s been months since I left him. That’s hardly soon.”
“I meant moving on from us .”
“Was there an us?” I tilted my head, thinking about it.
My poor lonely heart had wanted there to be an us, but Aiden had never promised me that.
“We had that weekend, I guess. I know I let my emotions get the better of me the day of the storm.” I winced.
Secrets meant to stay buried had poured out of me faster than the rain from the sky that day.
I’d admitted too much. “I was upset about what happened between us, but don’t worry. I’m over it now.”
“You’re…over it…”
I bobbed my head in a nod. “Other people probably figure out their boundaries sooner than me. I’ve never had a one-night stand before, and I don’t think I’ll have one again.
” Part of my brain registered I was back to rambling, and yet my mouth kept going…
and going… “I think being with someone is such an intimate chance to spoil them and…and… connect with them. The next time I share that part of myself, I want it to be special. I want it to really mean something.” I blushed, my teeth gnawing on my bottom lip to stop myself from saying more.
That was way too much to say on a random Saturday morning.
“We didn’t have a one-night stand,” he said.
“A half-night stand?”
Aiden scowled. “Lola, you’re not hearing me. It wasn’t just a one-night thing. It wasn’t a fuck . I don’t… Bloody hell… I don’t do that kind of thing.”
“So, I imagined waking up by myself?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
Wasn’t it? It sounded an awful lot like the same old gaslighting I was used to. In the past, I would have smiled and shoved my feelings deep down. Not anymore.
“Aiden, do you know how hard that morning was for me? The sheets were cold. Your stuff was gone. You didn’t leave me a note, and then, when I saw you…
” I pressed my hand over my heart. The moment he’d tossed out the pie still hurt more than I wanted it to.
“Life has taught me so many lessons. I know I never want to be treated that way again. So, as good as our half-night stand was—”
“Please stop calling it that.”
I lifted a shoulder. “If you want to pretend it didn’t happen at all, that works for me, too.
” I tucked the muffins safely back in my bag.
“Sorry about all that oversharing. I already gave Harry your umbrella when I last saw him. So, now that you have all your stuff back, we can go back to staying away from each other. I’d better head off anyway. ”
His narrowed gaze dipped over my outfit from head to toe. “You meeting someone?”
“Yeah. Ryan.” I patted the outline of the box crammed into my bag. “We’re catching up for a coffee. It’s becoming a Saturday thing, I think. Breakfast with Brooke. Coffee with Ryan. Pretending I can knit in the afternoon.” I laughed. “See ya!”
I got about five steps down the road before I realised I’d hit the mental “block” button on this relationship, too.