Chapter 25
Zane
Sitting with Ivy cradled in my arms feels right.
Her small body curls tight against me like she's trying to vanish into my chest.
She's quiet, trembling, each breath shallow and broken. Keeping my hand moving in slow circles along her back, I try to calm her.
We haven’t said anything to each other since I locked us in here. The building still echoes with the ghost of that fight, even though the shouting has stopped. And I can still see them pulling her back and forth like some fucked-up game of tug-o-war.
My pulse is still jacked and my jaw aches from how hard I'm clenching it.
But she ran to me.
Not Phoenix. Not Myles.
Me.
She chose me. And now she's pressed to my chest, fingers fisted in my shirt like I'm the only steady thing left in her world. And fuck if that doesn't change everything.
“You okay, sweetheart?” I murmur, voice low and rough against her hair.
She nods, then shakes her head. “I don't know,” she whispers. “I just… I didn't know what to do. I was so scared they’d turn on me.”
I close my eyes. That ache in my chest sharpens, takes root somewhere deep.
“I know,” I breathe, kissing the top of her head. “I'm sorry they made you feel like that. You didn't deserve any of it.”
Ivy pulls back a little, just enough to look at me, and the pain in her eyes damn near drops me. “You don’t scare me though,” she says softly.
It hits harder than it should. A punch right in the ribs.
“Ivy—” I don't even know what I'm trying to say.
“I didn't mean to cause trouble,” she says timidly. “I don’t want them to fight. I like them both so much... the same way I like you. But… you didn’t want me.”
My entire body locks, heart squeezing painfully at her words. She thinks I didn’t want her?
“What?” I ask, but my voice is a rasp.
“It’s okay though,” she whispers, tucking her head under my chin. “After you ran out that day, I thought you were disgusted with me. That you wouldn’t come back. I thought—” She doesn’t finish. But I’m glad she doesn’t.
Lost for words, I glance down at her again. She shifts on my lap. Just a little. But my body reacts anyway.
Goddammit. Now is not the time. Not when she’s shaking like a leaf in a storm.
I’m holding her as if I’m the only thing between her and another breakdown. But the longer she stays on my lap, the more I start noticing things I shouldn’t.
The heat of her pressed against me. My body responds automatically. I can’t stop it.
But then I see the flush on her freckled cheeks. The way her thighs rub together. The subtle peaks of her erect nipples under her new shirt.
Then Myles’s voice runs back through my head, still sharp and full of rage. ‘She was about to come on his fingers.’
Fuck.
Is she… turned on?
That’s why she’d hesitated.
And I didn’t notice. Didn’t see it, because I was too focused on getting her away from Phoenix and Myles. On keeping her safe from everyone but me.
I didn’t want to believe it at the time. But now… it’s clear. The truth of it, written across her body in every tiny shiver.
She did want it.
And she’s still aching.
I could give her what she needs.
No! What the fuck am I thinking? I can’t risk becoming the monster I used to be—the one who didn’t care if they cried and bled. I swore I’d never be him again. And I can’t trust myself not to lose control.
“Ivy,” I breathe, tightening my hold on her. “You think I don’t want you?”
She has to know it’s not because I don’t want to. It’s because I can’t.
Ivy swallows hard, as if she regrets saying it and tries to pull away.
But I don’t let her. Cupping her chin, I tilt her face up. Her eyes are glassy, ashamed. And it breaks me.
“I didn’t touch you,” I say, brows knitting together, “because I didn’t want you to think you had to offer yourself like that. I thought if I waited long enough, you’d trust me first. That you’d know you didn’t owe me anything. I want you to choose… without obligation.”
She blinks fast, but a tear slips out anyway.
“Sweetheart.” My eyes soften as I wipe the tear away with my thumb. “You don’t disgust me. You undo me.”
Her lips part, and that flicker of disbelief in her expression shatters me. The storm inside me goes nuclear.
I want to tear this shirt off her, rip through every barrier between us and bury myself so deep she’ll never doubt my devotion again.
My hands tightened slightly at her waist before I force them to loosen.
She’s shaken. Vulnerable. I don’t want to scare her even more.
But her eyes—god, those eyes—they're begging me.
“He left you wanting, didn’t he? You didn’t,” I swallow hard, “…finish.”
She nods once. “Do you still want me?” she whispers, shifting in my lap again, fingers tightening around my bicep. “Even now?”
My breath catches and I feel the snap ripple through me like a fault line finally giving way. But I have to restrain myself. I rest my forehead against hers, just breathing her in. “Ivy, of course I do. But… I can’t.”
“Please, Zane,” she begs. “I want you.”
Her desperate pleas sever something in me.
I wanted to give her the right to choose? This is her choice.
Sliding my hand into her hair, I crash my lips into hers. Kissing her deeply but gently. Worshipful. Like the goddess she is.
“I should’ve told you sooner,” I murmur against her lips. “But I’m saying it now. I want you, Ivy. I fucking ache for you.”
She melts into it like she's been starving for this, tongue meeting mine in the middle as I kiss her just how I’ve been fantasising. The soft moan that slips from her mouth nearly makes me burst in my pants.
I lower her back onto the mattress slowly, still scared of accidentally crushing her. Ignoring the roar of my monstrous side that wants to shove her down and trap her beneath me by any means necessary.
Shutting that thought down, I continue gently. Too rough and I could hurt her. I don’t want to scare her. She’ll never let me touch her again.
My hand strokes along the edge of her jaw. “Tell me if you want me to stop.” I whisper, breathless.
“I won't,” she breathes. “Not with you.”
Ego growing ten feet tall, I kiss across her jaw, down her throat, hands finding the buttons of her shirt and popping them open. My mouth kisses slow trails over her breasts, licking and sucking her nipples as I pass.
Her skin is warm, flushed. Soft. Her chest rises and falls faster as I make my way down her stomach, watching as goosebumps rise in the wake of my lips.
My fingers find the last button of her shirt, and I pause to look up at her one last time. There's no fear. Only trust.
Reverently, I pop it open and let the shirt fall away, exposing her bare pussy. I suck in a breath through my nose and try to steel myself when I see how wet she is.
She shivers as my mouth finds her ribs, then lower. Wrapping my arms around her thighs, I hold them open and settle between them like I'm kneeling at an altar. This isn’t about me. It’s about giving her back what they tried to take away—choice.
Ivy gasps when I kiss above her clit, her hips lifting instinctively. So I hold her steady, tightening my grip on one thigh while my other arm shifts to pin her hips.
I have to be gentle. I can’t hurt her.
But I can’t deny the way my cock has grown from pinning her down, forcing her still.
Trying to slow myself down, my tongue drags across the sensitive bud. Leisurely licking and tasting her beautiful pussy. Learning every gasp, every soft whimper. Every moan as I eat like she’s my first and last meal.
I memorise every place that makes her fall apart. Every reaction I get from her.
She's the most sacred thing I've ever touched, and I make sure she knows it with every stroke of my tongue. And when she comes, it won’t be stolen from her. It'll be given.
Unable to resist, I dip my tongue into her entrance. Her flavour makes my vision blur. Desperate for more of her, my thumb finds her clit and circles slowly while I gyrate my tongue inside her.
Her body trembles, hands gripping my hair. The sounds she’s making are so pure it brings me to my knees.
Driven by my insatiable desire to see her fall apart, I close my mouth around her clit. Flicking my tongue and sucking gently, my fingers tease her entrance.
As her moans grow louder, a sick part of me wants the boys to hear, to know that she chose me.
Slamming my two fingers in roughly, she cries out, pussy tightening around them immediately.
Her cry hits me like a whip.
So I go deeper, harder.
I want to hear it again. That sharp little squeal of pain tangled in pleasure.
Her fingers tighten in my hair, and she whimpers, squirming a little.
Goddamn, she’s so tight. That voice in my head screams for me to ruin her. Mark her. Tie her down, grab that bottle on the table and make her scream with it. Show her that she crawled into the lap of a monster.
Smothering that voice, I clamp it down like I’ve done for years. But it’s always there.
A haze falls from my focus, and I blink to find my teeth sunk into her thigh.
Unlatching my jaw, my stomach twists.
Fuck. No. No, no, no.
I freeze, shame crashing over me like icy water.
She lifts her head and blinks at me. “Why did you stop?” she asks breathlessly, face flushed and dazed.
“Did I—did I hurt you?”
Her brows pinch. “What? No,” she huffs. “Please don’t stop, I’m so close.”
My eyes snap back to her thigh and the breath is knocked out of me. Red, angry teeth marks are indented in the flesh.
I wanted to be gentle, but my cock’s so hard it aches. My brain’s spiralling into the dark places I swore I’d never return to. All I can think about is railing her until she forgets her own name.
No. Not her. Not like this. I need to get myself under control.
“Zane,” her soft voice brings me back. I meet her gaze and all I see is understanding. “I’m fine. I promise you didn’t hurt me. Please keep going.”
She should be terrified of me. But she’s pleading? Desperate? And her eyes are clearer than mine have ever been.
Holding her gaze like it’s my anchor, I start moving my fingers again. Sliding them in and out at a steady pace. As I watch her face, every other thought falls away as her expression softens in ecstasy.
I lean down and close my mouth around her clit, keeping my eyes locked on her face. Then curl my fingers to hit that spot inside her, coaxing the orgasm from her.
Her body tenses and shudders, her back bowing.
A groan rumbles through me. Ivy’s eyes snap open as she feels the vibration. Holding me captive in her desperate gaze, her walls tighten even more, crushing my fingers. She cries out, her body stiffening as her pussy begins to flood my mouth with that mind-altering flavour.
Lapping up as much of her release as I can, I keep doing exactly what I’m doing until her grip on my hair loosens and her body slackens.
She’s panting now and I know I need to stop… but fuck it’s so hard to stop. I could stay between these thighs all night and come multiple times without even needing to touch myself.
But I force myself to stop. Kissing my way back up her body, wrapping her in my arms, and pulling her tight against me.
She grips my shirt again. Only now… it's not fear. It’s trust.
It's because she wants me to stay.
I wasn’t planning to. I didn’t want to risk the monster that lives in my bones hurting her during the night.
But the way she brought me back from the edge… I can’t imagine ever leaving her.
If she wants me close, I’ll chain myself to her side until I die.