Chapter 46
LEVI
I couldn't stop calculating. Five point seven inches between her breasts, measuring from nipple to nipple.
The left slightly higher than the right by approximately three millimeters, giving a beautiful asymmetry that made my fingers twitch with the need to verify the measurement.
Numbers always steadied me, gave me control when emotions threatened to overwhelm.
But now, as I stared at Nelly's naked form, bathed in dusty light filtering through the barn's ancient roof, even mathematics failed to anchor me against the tide of desire pulling me under.
The slope of her hips formed a perfect curve, one that could be expressed through a complex equation if I had the presence of mind to work it out.
The ratio of her waist to her hips was divine proportion, not the manufactured ideal plastered across magazines.
No, it was more natural, more real. Her skin was milky pale, interrupted by constellations of freckles that demanded to be mapped and memorized.
I counted seventeen tiny dots across her right shoulder, twelve visible on her left. How many more were scattered across her body? I wanted to find every last one of them, to press my lips against each spot of darker pigment, to create a catalog of Nelly that would be mine alone.
"I want to count them all," I whispered, more to myself than anyone else. "Every freckle. Every night for the rest of our lives."
I hadn’t meant to say it. I was usually good about keeping my less rational thoughts to myself. Warmth flooded into my cheeks. What a stupid thing to say.
Nelly’s eyes found mine, a soft smile curving her lips.
Did she understand what I was offering? Not just tonight, not just release from the biological imperatives driving us together, but for all time.
Infinity, though I’d never been found of that symbol.
Because forever is objective. Unless each of us lived the exact same number of years, months, days, minutes, and seconds, our infinity was varied.
But, still, I would give Nelly a commitment as precise as possible. I would calculate a guarantee and try to prove it accurate.
It’s the least she deserved.
And there was no ‘most’. There couldn’t be.
Around us, my pack brothers moved with purpose, creating a loose circle around Nelly.
I watched as Boone's large hand cupped her cheek, as Cooper's fingers traced the line of her collarbone, as Wade and Wyatt positioned themselves on either side of her.
We were planets witnessing the birth of our very star and responding to it.
We had to adjust.
Our alignment. Our rotation. Our gravity.
To find our orbit around the newborn sun.
This was a radical change to our system, but one desperately needed. Without Nelly, without our star, then we’d keep listing through the universe. We’d never be complete. There was no way to calculate the future, no way to track our trajectory, if we had no anchor.
Bodies moved. Hands touched. Lips kissed.
No words were needed. We'd lived together, worked together, fought together long enough to communicate through glances and subtle gestures. Now, that unspoken language expanded to include Nelly, who seemed to instinctively know what was coming next.
“Can we mark you, Nelly?” Wade asked. I didn’t even recognize his voice right now; the was tone so grizzled with hunger.
Nelly's eyes widened at Wade's question, her pupils dilating further until they finally swallowed every bit of hazel. Her smell shifted as she thought. Anxiety. Fear. Excitement. Longing.
“I’m not good with pain,” she whispered.
“It’s a good kind of hurt,” Wyatt rumbled, pushing forward.
She blinked at him, face so trusting it shot through my heart. Trust like that wasn’t pragmatic. Trust like that meant you jumped off a cliff, knowing someone will catch you even if you can’t see them on the faraway ground below.
“Yes,” her voice caught on the word, breaking. “Please, yes.”
Wyatt's green eyes, normally so sharp, softened as he gazed at our Omega. He moved with purpose. The rest of us shifted, making room for him. First, he offered Nelly a gentle, brief kiss. Then, he pulled her against his body, pushed her ginger hair away from her neck, and leaned down.
He locked his teeth onto her with little hesitation.
Nelly writhed in his arms, gasping and moaning against the sensation.
I watched as my pack brother drank her in, mouth locked over precisely where one of her glands resided.
When he pulled away, he continued supporting Nelly, who was unsteady on her feet.
Wade approached, taking Nelly away from his twin like they were dancing at Shorty’s, passing a hot date back and forth while the strains of country music pushed through the jukebox.
Wade whispered something to Nelly that I couldn’t hear, and then he mirrored his brother, gathering her long, curling hair into one hand and pulling it away from the other side of her neck.
He didn’t rush to bite her, instead he kissed her lips and then her cheek, then the line of her jaw.
He fluttered his lips down until he was in position.
When he sunk his teeth into her tender flesh, she melted against him with a mewl of pure, unashamed pleasure.
I wasn’t sure why, but I hung back, waiting patiently as Boone and Levi both claimed Nelly, leaving behind bruising red impressions in her skin.
Both wrists. Both sides of her neck. My mind raced.
I didn’t want to bite the same place twice, on the off chance that would cause discomfort rather than pleasure.
What made the most sense? There was no way to work out the answer with pen and paper.
As I struggled with not only where to mark our Omega, but also with a gnawing feeling I was redundant—just like I was doing the ranch accounts these days—I stared at the floor.
My inner Alpha pushed at my ribs, trying to force me into action.
Of course I wanted her to mark her.
But I felt paralyzed by indecision.
Paralyzed that I wasn’t necessary.
Soft fingers against my chin startled me.
I hadn’t even heard or felt or smelled her approaching.
I only had to tilt my head back up slightly to see Nelly in front of me. So small, delicate, and breathtaking.
She took my hand and lifted it to her body.
She pressed it over her heart. The thrum of her vital organ beating ghosted through my palm.
“Here,” she murmured.
Had she read my mind? Was my inner turmoil plain on my face?
When I still hesitated, Nelly tugged my hand lower, palm grazing over her hard nipple. Unrelenting waves of wanting slammed into me, eroding the shore I’d been standing on and the solidness of equations that got me through life.
Over her heart.
My fingers wrapped around her waist, and I lifted her into the air. Her long, dancer legs wrapped around me, and I repositioned my grip beneath her ass, hoisting her slightly higher so that I could dip my head down and reach my target.
At first, I simply pressed my face into that soft spot above her breast.
I reveled in her pheromones and softness.
I breathed her in, letting her scent fill me completely before opening my mouth to mark her. The moment my teeth met her skin, a current of electricity shot through me. Her sweet Omega taste exploded across my tongue.
This, our two bodies added together, was the only equation that mattered.
Nelly cried out, her back arching as she pressed harder against my mouth. Her fingers dug into my shoulders, anchoring herself to me as I claimed her. The mark I left would be precise.
At least, that was the plan.
But maybe plans should be broken.
Maybe some equations should be left unsolved.
I clamped down harder, letting go of logic.
When we parted, I looked at Nelly in wonderment. Why had I spent my life so wrapped up in what made sense? Why had I never embraced a little mystery?
She pulled away from me, turning slightly, nearly stumbling. I steadied her.
“Are you ready to mark us now, or do you need a minute?” This from Cooper, who held his arm out to her.
Her head tilted down, glancing at his extended wrist.
She gave a slight nod, stepping forward but wobbling dangerously on her feet.
I swooped in behind her for support. “I’ll help you, Nelly.”
Looking over her shoulder, she smiled at me. “You’ve already helped me more than you could ever know. You all have.”
There was no rhyme or reason to her words.
We hadn’t helped her, not really. We’d inadvertently stolen her life by signing a contract.
We hadn’t given her anything either, not really.
Borrowed clothes. Borrowed shoes. A broken-down, borrowed barn.
Ghost, maybe. We had given her Ghost. Though my primal needs raged, I made a note to not only ask her what she meant, but to actually help her.
To help her in every way we could, no matter what it cost.
Damn the accounts. Damn the finances.
As I supported her, Nelly took Cooper’s arm and lifted it to her mouth.
She hesitated, then squared her shoulders, sinking her teeth into his skin.
Cooper's face contorted, riding the line between pleasure and pain as Nelly's mark triggered a cascade of Alpha rut response.
When she released him, a perfect crescent of teeth marks remained, red against his tan skin.
Boone stepped forward next, offering his wrist with solemn reverence.
Nelly took it, her movements becoming more confident as she bit down, holding for several heartbeats before releasing.
Wade followed, then Wyatt, each receiving her mark with expressions of awe and gratitude.
When my turn came, I held her with one arm and lifted the other to her face.
I tried to quiet my analytical mind. I tried not to note the exact placement of her incisors as they pressed against my skin. I couldn’t. I found myself measuring and calculating. But then she bit down, and all thought dissolved into pure sensation.
The pain was sharp but fleeting, immediately radiating electric bolts of pleasure from its center point. I felt my knees weaken, understanding now why Nelly needed support after our marks. This was more than just a physical wound.
It was a rewiring of my very being, my body and brain recognizing and accepting her as mine. As she released my wrist, our gazes crashed into each other. The mathematical precision I'd been doggedly clinging to despite my intentions crumbled entirely.
I couldn't calculate the depth of emotion in her gaze, couldn't quantify the connection that now bound us together.
For perhaps the first time in my adult life, I surrendered completely to feeling without analysis.
I reached out, tracing the line of her jaw with my fingertips, marveling at the softness of her skin.
My hand stilled to cup her cheek as I memorized her face.
"I can’t measure this,” I whispered, the word encompassing everything I couldn't express through numbers and equations. It was one of those stupid inner thoughts I normally wouldn’t voice.
“Can’t measure what, Levi?” she asked in a small voice, golden lashes lowering and lifting in a slow blink.
“The way you make me feel,” I admitted.
Nelly smiled, her hand rising to cover mine against her cheek.
The five unique bites on her body, and the five much smaller teeth impressions she’d left on us, were tattoos that meant just as much as the Sagebrush one my brothers and I wore before she’d entered the equation. Hell, maybe these new marks meant more. Maybe they’re intrinsic worth was greater.
But still…
Both markings meant belonging. Both marks meant we’d never be apart.
Nelly pulled away from me, moving to the center of our pack again.
I glanced down at the teeth marks on my wrist. When it faded, she’d mark me again.
I knew with absolute certainty that no bank accounts, no ledgers, and no financial wizardry I'd ever done to stabilize the ranch compared to the value of what we'd just gained.
Nelly came into our lives, an unknown variable I couldn’t solve, and changed everything.