Chapter 5
Chapter Five
“Can we take Devon to see Master Arlo’s zoo?” I was having a great time playing with Devon. Right now, he was in classes and doing vacation stuff while we worked. I couldn’t believe I had my first real friend. It was gonna be hard when he left on Sunday though.
“We can on Saturday if that works for him.” Warner smiled as he tugged on my hat.
“’kay.” That was the day before Devon left. Guess we might as well make it a fun one, then maybe he wouldn’t forget me like everyone else did.
Each morning, I woke up and hurried through dressing, knowing Warner was waiting downstairs for me.
I didn’t rush because I was scared of getting into trouble for dawdling, as my parents said, but ’cause I was so excited to see him.
He always greeted me with a smile and a hug, starting my day in the best way.
We’d fallen into a routine, beginning each day with breakfast together first. No more dreading leaving my bedroom, my safe space, or another repeated day of being ignored.
Warner wanted me to talk, tell him what I was feeling.
He didn’t get upset with me and answered the millions of questions I always had.
It was nice to not be alone as much anymore and have someone to talk to.
I’d won so many prezzies, a fun word Devon taught me, prizes from the arcade and the cute basket Warner gave me to keep them all in was full.
I was supposed to shower and go to bed when Warner sent me up to my room at night, but sometimes I was too wound up to.
Zoomies were what Devon called them. They were fun, but when I was younger, they’d gotten me in a lot of trouble.
Now I got to zoom-zoom-zoom all I wanted, as long as it was in a safe space for that.
I’d zoom and play with my new toys until I passed out.
My new life was so awesome. Even cleaning up after the horses wasn’t as bad anymore.
“Alright, Sage. Let’s get cleaned up. It’s time for lunch and for you to get to class.”
“How much longer do I have to take them for? Can’t I just work with you all day?
” They talked about stuff in there that wasn’t for me.
I spent a lot of time on the internet afterward looking it all up, but some of what I found was terrifying.
The teacher tried to explain it to me, but it just went right over my head.
“You can take regular college courses such as accounting, or business, stuff like that if you’d rather. General life classes most grown-ups utilize,” Warner said.
I still wasn’t interested in any of that either.
“I want a Daddy who takes care of all of that,” I blurted out. “S-sorry. That’s selfish of me.”
Warner crouched down in front of me. “No, it’s not, but you need to make sure that’s truly what you want.”
I nodded. I didn’t want to risk my stupid brain putting any more words into my mouth it couldn’t keep quiet.
“I still wanna work and earn money but I just don’t want to worry about stuff like paying bills and what to make for dinner.” Where was all of this coming from? I’d never had this conversation with myself, let alone with another human.
Did I want a Daddy?
Yeah, but that’s where my thoughts had stopped. I’d never paid any bills, no clue what was even involved with that. I didn’t even have any accounts to pay them from. Working here, all my money was loaded onto the card they gave me to use at the store. Super easy and worry free.
“Why don’t we talk about this more after Devon leaves?”
“’kay.” Was it possible for someone you weren’t dating to break up with you?
Just keep your mouth shut, Sage. You’re lucky to have this life.
No matter how far away my parents were, Papa’s words would always haunt me.
“Hi, Sage.” Devon waved from across the room. “I saved you a seat.”
“I like your shirt.” It was short, showing his belly, but it had cute tiny ladybugs all over it.
“Thanks, one of the Daddies I play with back home got it for me.”
“You have more than one Daddy?” How did that even work?
“Kind of. I don’t have a Daddy of my own and I’m okay with that. My day job keeps me really busy, so it isn’t often I get playtime at the club. There are a couple of Daddies I play with, depending on our schedules.”
That didn’t sound fun to me. Almost sounded lonelier than my life was. Maybe I was just projecting, but still… I wasn’t in the right mindset today.
“Settle down,” the teacher said and we all quieted. “Today we’re going over implements and the proper usage of them.”
Implements?
“Floggers and paddles are the most widely used impact play toys on the market.” She flicked her wrist and the flogger snapped.
“They can be used lightly, at times even to tickle, though there are ticklers made for that particular sensory play.” The others oohed and ahhed, but if I was getting tickled, it would be by real fingers.
“This,” she pulled a stick out. “Is a cane.” As soon as it swished through the air, I froze. My vision blurred, her voice and the others around me sounded like they were under water. I flinched when it swung through the air a second time. Every hair on my body raised.
I had to get out of here.
“No! No! I’m a good boy!” I cried. “No, Papa! I promise to be good!” I took off running, down the hall and out the doors. I had to hide. Had to get away from him. He won’t hurt me anymore. Never again.
I ran and ran until I was out of breath and collapsed behind a grove of trees.
He wouldn’t find me here. He wouldn’t ever find me again.
The sobs wouldn’t stop. I didn’t remember being this terrified in my life, but I had to have been.
All those times I couldn’t sit for days.
The blood tinting the bath water after a beating.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t think.
I can’t…I can’t…
The last thing I remember was being lifted, a familiar voice softly whispered in my ear. “I’ve got you, babyboy. Ssshh, you’re okay, I’ve got you.”
“Da-Daddy?”
“I’m here, sweetheart, just rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“There you are.” Warner smiled and kissed my forehead. “You scared me.”
“S-sorry.” How did I get here? Where was I? Was I sitting on his lap?
“Drink this.”
Warner tipped a bottle of water to my lips. Didn’t realize how thirsty I was until I sucked half of it down.
“There”—he set it aside—“how do you feel?”
“Foolish.” It hit me full on. Not only did I have a major panic attack, but I did it in front of Devon and the whole class and ran away like a big baby. “How did you find me? Are they kicking me out?”
“Sweetheart…”
There was that nickname again that made my tummy all bubbly.
“That’s the last thing anyone would do. Wanna talk about what happened?”
Stupid, stupid tears. Warner held me tight as round two hit. “I-I made your shirt all wet.”
“That’s okay. Shirts dry. I’m more worried about my boy right now than any dang shirt.”
Wait, what? “Your boy?” I tried to move my head to see who else was here, but Warner held me tight against his chest.
“Silly boy, that’s you. I was gonna wait to have this conversation until after Devon left, but considering today’s events, I think we need to establish our relationship now. Sage, my sweet, lost Little, will you let me be your Daddy?”
Ugh, why was I crying again? This was everything I wanted, wasn’t it?
Yeah, it was.
Safe. I felt safe with Warner.
“Yes, please.”
He kissed my head again. “Ready to tell Daddy what happened?”
Daddy. My Daddy. My new safe space.
“That stuff scared me. Made me…” Ugh, why was this so hard? “Made me ’member bad times when Papa hurt me.”
Warner’s jaw clenched and his face got all mad. “I can promise you that no one will ever hurt you again.”
“Why did the teacher show us that bad stuff? I’m a good boy.”
“Yes you are, but some people like the way those make them feel. Draws them into subspace so they can forget their bad stuff and let go of their stress.”
“Do-do you like that?” If he wanted to use those on me would I stick around for it?
“Me personally, no, but some of the Littles I’ve played with enjoyed impact play. Before you ask, it’s not a make it or break it for me. If for some reason you were ever naughty, we’d come up with our own means of punishment—together.”
“What-what kind of punishment?”
“Maybe timeout standing in the corner or writing lines or I’d take away play time for you that day. But whatever we decide on, we decide together. Understood?”
I nodded. “So, you promise to never hit me or make me bleed?”
His jaw flinched again. “That is an easy promise to make and I’m sorry someone did that to you. Sage, what happened to you today is serious. It’s PTSD and it triggered a panic attack.”
“Oh. Does that mean I’m broken?”
“No, sweetheart, it doesn’t. It just means you have some demons haunting you that you need help working through.”
“Do I have to go back to class?”
“No. That part of your life here is over unless you decide later that you want to take other courses. But that will be one hundred percent up to you.”
“’kay. Daddy, where are we?” I loved saying that, calling Warner Daddy. I wanted him to be my Daddy so badly. Plus, when I said it, he always smiled at me. Guess it made him happy too.
“My apartment. I wanted to take you away to rest in a quiet place. Plus, now you finally get to see where I live. How about we call in a dinner delivery and watch movies tonight?”
“I’d like that.”
He pulled his phone out and typed away.
I was far too comfy and relaxed to worry about anything. Besides, Daddy would take care of everything. Even though Warner wasn’t technically my Daddy before today, he’d more than proven himself to me and already put me first.
“What do you want to watch?”
“You pick, but nothing scary, please.” I had just gotten my crazy heart out of my ears. Who knew it pounded like that before you passed out.
“Daddy needs to get the door, sweet boy.” I hadn’t even heard the knock until it came again when he set me on the couch. It surprised me when Devon walked in carrying a pizza.
“You scared the bejesus out of me.” He crossed the room and nearly sat on me when he tried a sideways hug. “Are you okay?”
“Da-err, Warner saved me.” Wish I’d been awake to see it happen but waking up in his arms was the best part.
“Sweetheart, you can call me Daddy whenever you want. If you’re more comfortable saying Warner around others, that’s your choice.”
“You’ve got a smart Daddy, Sage. But seriously, are you alright?”
I had a Daddy of my own and a friend. I was a lucky boy. “Yeah, I-I, I don’t like that impact stuff. Do you like it?”
“Some of it I do, but it’s not for everyone and that’s okay.”
“Why do you like it?”
“Because it helps me forget. I have a very stressful job that sucks far too many hours and brain cells from my life. When I get to be Little, or sub for one of the Dom’s I trust, it’s the best way to let go.
Besides, impact play isn’t about punishment.
Most of the time, for me at least, it’s a funishment that comes with a wiggly happy ending. ” Devon giggled.
Oh. Ohhhh.
“You’re adorbs when you blush.” He pressed his shoulder to mine. “You have my number and can text or call me anytime. Just know if I don’t answer for a while, it’s because I’m busy at work. Don’t for one second think I’m ignoring you. I’ll answer as soon as I get a brain break.”
“’kay.”
“Time for dinner, boys.”
“The Daddy has spoken, so it must be,” Devon teased. “Come on, let’s eat. I’m starving.”
Pizza, a Daddy of my own and my new bestie—my bad day turned right around.
Daddy gave us each a plate with a slice on it and a juice box. “Juice boxes are the best.” Devon pushed his straw in. “Before the Ranch, I only had them on school field trips when one of the parents brought them and snacks for us.”
“Daddy”—hee-hee, I loved saying that—“do I get to work with you all day now?”
“I was thinking about that. What say we keep it at half days and in the afternoon you try the nursery?”
“Do they spank us there?”
“They don’t spank you at all. Master Derek made sure that was noted in your file. I feel it’s important for you to find your true self and working full time just doesn’t feel like the right path for you.”
“What is the right path for me?”
“Well, that’s something only you can determine. I say try the nursery first. If it doesn’t fit, then try the Butterfly room.”
“I love butterflies.”
“I know you do, sweet boy. The Butterfly room is like a preschool. You do arts and crafts and fun schoolwork. Maybe you could even make a picture for Daddy’s fridge.”
“It’s nakey.” Devon and I giggled when he said that. “Your Daddy needs lots of pictures for it, Sage.”
“I-I could do that. But what if I don’t fit there either?” They’d run out of places to put me, then what?
“There are the Littles’ and Middles’ classrooms too. If you try all three and don’t like them you can always work full-time with me. But I think you’d have more fun playing with other Littles. Daddy will be there every day after work to pick you up, just like we do now.”
“’kay, I’ll try, Daddy. But no spankings.”
“I promise, no spankings.”