Chapter 22 #2
“Anyway. Sometimes, to take down a monster, you need another monster. A six foot three tattooed club owner who can do what the rest of us cannot.”
She turns to face me, her words adding to my confusion about Damon.
“I don’t condone what he does, Si. But I don’t condemn him either.
I think it is a matter of choosing whether you can accept him as he is with all this darkness.
I know he is dangerous, but the way he looks at you…
I think he would kill anyone who tried to hurt you. I wish I had th at when I was twelve.”
Those words were already true. Just look at those who had watched the video on the internet. The rapists and pedophiles. But would that situation even have happened, and would it have been necessary if I hadn’t met him?
“What are you two so wrapped up in?” My brother's entrance into my mind's bubble of focus makes me jump guiltily.
“Girl stuff,” Dee says, her hands rubbing my shoulders comfortingly as she plasters a giant smile on her face and then turns, wrapping her arms around my brother. It is the perfect distraction while I gather my thoughts and feelings.
“They’re out.” I spin around to see that Damon now has two sleeping children in his arms.
“You must be catnip to my kids 'cause I swear to god I have never seen them this docile,” Dee says quietly, taking Alicia from him while Liam takes George, named after our father.
They disappear down the hall towards the children’s bedrooms, leaving Damon and me alone, which is not something I am sure I am ready for. But at the same time, I wanted whatever this confusion I had to be over. I didn’t want to be unsure. But I was also scared.
After last night's conversation, I had very little sleep, his words tossing around my head on repeat. The car ride here had been awkward and silent. I had hoped Damon would have broken that silence, but he was waiting for me. Giving me time to figure things out. What if all the time in the world wasn’t enough? What if I never figured things out?
His dark chocolate eyes sweep my face, and he frowns, probably noticing the residual tension and telltale signs of tears from my conversation with Dee.
But he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he moves around me to take Dee's spot beside me.
With a precision that makes me wonder if he, too, can add chef to his repertoire of skills, he starts slicing the tomatoes.
I pick up the cucumber and resume chopping, the silence between us more comfortable than the one in the car driving here.
“You are good with children,” I state, starting with neutral territory.
“They are easy. They have no judgment and are transparent with what they want and need.”
A very Damon thing to say.
“Do you want children one day?”
“Yes.” There is no hesitation in his answer, not even a sliver.
“How do you reconcile that life with the one you live now? With what you do?” He looks at me and raises an eyebrow.
“I mean, do you see yourself looking after a baby during the day and then at night running off to kill people?” I whisper, looking around to be sure my brother hasn’t appeared and is somehow in hearing distance.
“Okay, so firstly, I don’t go out and kill people every night.
My main line of work is facilitating meetings at Sin.
Everything else is secondary to that and more infrequent than you have created in your mind.
” He taps my head lightly before dragging his finger down my cheek and then over my lips, the sharp intake of breath on my part out of my control.
“Secondly, I never anticipated ever meeting you, rainbow, or the children we will have. I never had another purpose before, so my life has revolved around the activities you now judge. But all that will change. Now that you are here.”
How can he say words so easily and with such conviction that it is as if our future is set? I envy his certitude.
Then there is the way he looks at me. It is so direct, so sure. And in those pools of chocolate, I see what his words have vocalized now and last night. He looks at me like a condemned man who has come to terms with the situation—revels in it even. I am his world.
Is he mine? If I plucked him out of my life now, how would I feel? Relieved? Happy? Content?
No. The thought brings me anguish and almost terror.
Like the moment when James died. That feeling of knowing I would never hear his voice again.
That I would never feel his warm touch against my skin.
The sense of utter loss. That is what thinking of Damon not being in my life feels like.
My heart even physically aches, and I palm the area as if it will soothe it.
No. I want this man with me. No matter what.
The absolute truth of the realization and the relief at having made a decision overwhelm me, consume me, and drown me.
I choose Damon.
Like the lifeline he is, I reach for him, my arms wrapping around his torso as my heart beats out of my chest.
Will I go to prison? Will I be locked up? Does this make me bad? Potentially, yes to all of these, but so what? If I chose him, I chose the possibility of things out of my control and on the opposite scale of normal—extreme, scary, and different.
Damon's arms wrap around me comfortingly, and his words allay all my unvoiced fears.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Sienna.”
I breathe him in, letting his scent soothe my fears.
When I eventually pull back, his eyes roam my face, looking for affirmation that I believe him. That everything will be okay. He needs reassurance as much as I do.
“I know, Damon.”
Our moment is broken as Liam and Dee reappear, baby-free.
“Okay, break it up, you two. It’s not often we get to converse with adults without the little devils running around. Another beer, Damon?” Liam asks, opening the fridge and hauling out two cold ones while Dee pours us another glass of wine.
“Sure.” Damon releases me, but his hand remains on my lower back as he takes the beer Liam offers. I worried they wouldn’t get along, especially if he formed an opinion from Brad, who clearly didn’t like Damon. But surprisingly, they got on like a house on fire.
As the evening progresses, and with my newfound acceptance of Damon and all that he is, the tension present at the start of the day fades—so much so that I almost delude myself into some semblance of normality. That is until Damon receives a mysterious call.
After excusing himself to take it, he returns wearing the tension I wish I didn’t already know well. I have seen it far too often, and when he announces that we unfortunately have to leave, I am not all that surprised.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay over? You have had a couple of drinks and shouldn’t be driving,” Dee says as we approach the front door.
“I have a driver here to fetch Sienna. I unfortunately have some work at the warehouse to attend to.” His eyes meet mine, and I immediately know that the work at the warehouse is probably not anything I wanted to be involved in.
“Thank you for a wonderful time. We will do this again soon. And I will see you at the club next week?” he says to Liam, who nods and smiles.
“What are you doing at the club?” I ask, a little worried as Liam would no doubt pick up on the fact that it wasn’t a regular club with regular activities.
“Don’t be so nosy, sis. Boy’s stuff,” he says, mimicking Dee's voice from earlier when he interrupted us in the kitchen .
I roll my eyes and then hug him.
“You look happy, sis. I’m glad. I want you to be happy.” His whispered words pull at my heartstrings, drawing tears to the surface. I hate that he worries about me, and I hate what I put him through after James died.
“I love you,” I say to him as we pull apart.
“I love you, sis.”
Dee hugs me, then rolls her eyes and smiles when George's crying reaches us. The sound fades as the door shuts behind us, returning me to reality.
“Is everything okay?” Damon guides me to one of the two cars waiting outside my brother's house.
Bob stands outside of one, the back door open and ready for me.
“Bob will take you home. You can wait in my place if you want. The code is the day we met.”
When I hesitate to climb in, he cups my face, angling it so our eyes lock.
“I promise I will tell you everything when I return, okay?” Anxiety makes me feel queasy, threatening to spill the contents of my stomach.
“Okay.” I nod, taking deep breaths to steady my nerves.
“Just be careful.”
He smirks and then dips his head, our lips meeting for a gentle kiss before he releases me.
“I’m more careful now than I ever was.”
With one last look, I climb in, the sound of the door slamming shut sending dread through me.
That feeling remains long after we pull away and head home, and it amplifies when I hear a ping on my phone.
Unknown
20:33
While one game ends, you will realize that a bigger one is being played.
I will have what is mine, even if I have to kill again.