11. Cassidy
Chapter 11
Cassidy
“ I haven’t been to a beach since I was kid,” Rina admits.
Izzy stretches out her beach towel next to her while I slather sunscreen on Parker who’s aching to join his siblings and new friends in the water.
“Closer, Liam!” Kesley yells to her son who’s slowly venturing out further into the water. She sits back in her beach chair and lowers her shades.
“Thanks for coming out,” I tell them all. “I know this was all so last minute.”
Izzy looks over at me then down at her belly. “I’m afraid I won’t have very many beach days left before nugget comes. I’ll take any I can get.” She rubs her belly softly.
“There! All done, Parker.” Before I have a chance to say anything, he goes running off to the shore where the kids are building sandcastles.
“Hello, ladies.” We all turn to see Libby dressed in a revealing bikini that makes her boobs pop. I think we all notice it.
Kesley reaches out and gives them each a boop. “I wish mine still looked like this.”
Libby rolls her eyes. “What? Huge and obnoxious? It’s not by choice, trust me.”
She takes the seat next to Kesley and I realize I’m stuck in the middle of all these Heatwave girls. I’m the oddball out.
I lean forward and hug my knees to my chest watching the kids closely. Liam and Maddie are fortifying their castle like their lives depend on it. Parker is collecting shells. And Cole, he’s alone. Off to the side. Still wearing sneakers. He’s holding his knees the same way I am, staring off into the ocean.
Poor kid. I wish I could do something to make him feel better. Maybe Joshua was right about keeping the truth from Maddie and Parker. Even if just a little longer.
The truth seems make everything… heavier. My eyes travel to the kids laughing together. Ignorance is definitely bliss.
The girls around me are chatting about the baby shower and plans once the season starts. I tune it out. Considering I won’t even be here when that happens.
My line of sight goes to the teammates playing football on the shore. Fergie catches the ball and gets tackled by Joshua and Zane into the water.
On the way here, we stopped the biggest gas station in Texas. The boys all have matching swimming trunks with beavers on them.
Even on vacation they have to be in uniform.
I sigh.
Kesley leans over and lifts the hat covering my eyes. “You okay in there, Cassidy?”
I didn’t even realize they noticed I was still there.
“Oh…” I sit up, surprised. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Mmm,” Rina says.
“What?” I say, looking at her.
“I’m fine is girl code for “I’m totally not fine. Something is seriously wrong but I’m afraid if I talk about it you’ll judge me so I’d rather just pretend,” Izzy explains.
“We won’t judge,” Kesley adds.
“We can’t judge,” Libby says. “Guarantee you that one of us has been through it. Whatever it is your sighing about over there.”
I look out at Joshua, now tossing the ball to another one of the guys. He’s every bit the walking temptation I know he is. And I hate that I feel that way about him.
“What do you do if you like someone… but they’re incapable of returning the sentiment?”
Rina says, “Are we talking about Keelan here or…”
I look at her, the heat of my embarrassment rising into my cheeks. “Not Keelan.”
Rina smirks and sits back in her chair whispering, “I fucking knew it.”
“Keelan’s just a friend. So is Joshua, except that I work for him. And that’s what this is. It’s an arrangement. I work for him. He hired me for a job,” I say out loud.
“But the lines are blurring?” Izzy asks.
I nod, sheepishly.
“The way I see it, Cassidy. You’re the one in control here,” Libby says, confidently.
My eyes flick to meet her gaze. “I am?”
She sits up straighter, turning her long legs toward me. “Yes. Hicks is a lady’s man. It’s easy for him to get what he wants. He’s never had to work for it. Everything’s always been handed to him on a silver platter. This situation–with these kids–it’s making him grow up and realize that life isn’t all just fun and games. There’s work to put in. And you, my dear, will make sure you don’t make things easy on him.”
“I do make things easy on him. It’s my job.”
“Then don’t,” Rina says. “These men need to realize that we’re not just around to clean up their messes. Though technically… that is my job. But it’s not yours." She points a finger at me.
“Yeah, and we’re not just here to make them look good either,” Izzy says, pausing to add, “Though technically that is my job as the team photographer. But it’s not yours.”
I laugh as they all realize how they all have a part in making this team shine even from behind the scenes.
Kesley works for an online news publication that reports on their season stats and charitable deeds. Libby helped manage the social media for a while.
“So basically,” Kesley says. “Do as we say, not as we do.”
The girls all laugh and I finally relax.
I’m in control. I don’t have to make things easy for him. I’m here for the kids.
“You know what. I think your right,” I say, sitting up a little straighter. “I think it’s time I take back the reins.”
“Atta-girl,” Rina purrs. And the others give snaps of their fingers like I just gave a beautiful poetry reading at an open mic night.
I smile still holding onto my knees. Cole leans back and is now looking up at the sky. His headphones are over his ears. So he must be listening to something nice because he cracks a small grin. It might be the first hint of a smile I’ve seen since meeting him.
“I’ll be back," I say, getting up to go over to him.
I stretch out my towel next to his and take a seat.
He senses me and opens one eye, then startles and pushes his headphones back.
“What are you listening to?”
He reaches for his phone and taps the back button. Then he slides his headphones off and passes them to me.
I grab them and slip them over my ears. He presses play and laugh when I hear the words to I Wish by Skee-Lo. I bop to the familiar sound and when the chorus comes on I sing along. And Cole looks at me surprised but he joins in too.
“You like rap?”
I laugh. “I like all kinds of music. But this one… me and my siblings used to try to out rap each other.”
I slide the headphones off and hand them back to him.
“You did?” he asks surprised. I nod, reminiscing.
“My older brother CJ holds the title for being able to rap every single lyric. Mom hated it. She said we were better off using our brains to memorize scripture or learn algebra. Not to listen to that damn rap music.” I chuckle.
Cole looks out to the ocean lost in thought. “Dad loved rap. He’d have it playing in the garage really loud while he worked on his cars.”
I still, realizing Cole is actually opening up.
“Tell me about him.”
He looks up again. “He was so fun. He’d always come up with games to get us to do things we didn’t want to do. When I realized what he was up to, I didn’t even care that he won. It was worth it to get to play with him. He was a good dancer too.”
“He was?” I smile.
Cole nods. “Yeah, that’s how he and mom met.”
This is the first time I hear any mention of his mom. “What was she like?”
He looks at me and then looks away. “You remind me of her.”
My eyes widen. “I do?”
He leans back and looks at me again. “Not like, how you look. More like how you are. You draw people in. Make them feel seen.”
I smile at that.
“She did that. When she was around you felt like the only person in the room.”
“That’s really nice, Cole.”
He nods his head and leans forward, bringing his knees to his chest again. “I hate that Maddie and Parker didn’t get to know them better. They were the best parents.” He goes solemn. “Life is so unfair.”
“Yeah…” I sigh. “It is. What… what happened to your mom, Cole?”
He hesitates. His eyes flicking to Parker then coming back to mine. “She lost a lot of blood when she had Parker. The doctors tried everything.”
My heart breaks. “That had to be so hard.”
Cole shrugs. “I hated him. For a long time.”
“Who?”
He hesitates. “Parker. I said things to him that I didn’t mean. I felt like it was all his fault that mom was gone. Dad always told me I’d regret saying that. And that the biggest gift Mom left us was that little boy. He looks like both of them.”
We both look at Parker, shoving a shell excitedly into Maddie’s face. Maddie pretends to be interested in it. Then goes back to building the epic sandcastle.
“Siblings are gifts,” I say, thinking of my own. “Annoying. Loud. Obnoxious gifts.”
He smiles briefly, but it disappears as he looks up at someone approaching.
I turn to see who it is.
“Hey!” Joshua says, coming to join us. “You guys okay?”
Cole looks at him, and his body language changes. He retreats back into himself, sliding his headphones back on. I rise to give him some space.
Joshua stares down at Cole who’s actively ignoring him.
“Keelan’s setting up the grill. I’m trying to get a count of how many burgers or hotdogs.”
“I’ll take a burger. Cole?”
He looks at me. “Same.”
I turn back to Joshua and cock my head. “Maddie and Parker will probably eat hot dogs,” I tell him.
He nods, and his eyes rove over my face. I try not to show any emotion.
“Hey, can we talk?” he says, lowering his voice.
I give a glance to each of the kids to make sure they’re okay before nodding.
We walk a little further away from everyone. And he takes a seat right on the shore. The water laps at his feet before it retreats back into the ocean.
He pats the spot next to him, and I shoot the group of ladies a quick look. All their eyes are on us. They give me thumbs ups and winks. Libby smashes her hand into her other palm. And I stifle a giggle.
“What’s up, Joshua?” I sit next to him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my leaving. I don’t really have a choice in the matter, you know?”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“Yeah,” he turns his body toward me. “I do. Keelan brought it to my attention that I might be giving you mixed signals. And I don’t want you to think that I’m playing with your emotions in any way.”
“I don’t think that at all,” I say with confidence.
“You don’t?” He looks puzzled.
I purse my lips and shake my head. “Nope. I know exactly what this is. I’m your nanny. I work for you. In turn, you’ll give me some dating tips. And that’s that. I don’t expect anything else.”
“You don’t?” he asks again.
“No.”
He scrunches his brows as if he was expecting a totally different reaction.
“Are we good here?” I push myself out of the seated position to stand up.
“Yeah,” he says, following suit. “We’re good here.”
“Great.” I plaster on a smile and leave him to his thoughts.
Maddie sees me approaching, and she and Liam take the next ten minutes to give me a walk-through of their now super-expansive and detailed castle.
“Do you think it’s missing anything?” Maddie steps aside, looking at it.
I stare down at it.
“Yeah… the people living in it.”
Liam and Maddie both give each other a quick look just as Parker dumps out a bunch of shells.
“These are people,” he announces.
“Yes!” Maddie says. “Great work, Park.”
The trio gets busy adding the people to the castle, and I glance back at Joshua, who’s now helping Keelan with the food. He must sense me looking at him because he turns to meet my gaze.
But all I can do is look away.