27. Joshua
Chapter 27
Joshua
I guess I could understand Cassidy's reasons for leaving. What happened with Parker–it was scary for all of us.
I could understand if she needed to leave to protect her own family. To stay away from the potential dangers lurking outside our home here.
But something about how cold she sounded, didn’t feel right. It wasn’t her.
She never once asked about money. The entire time she worked for me. I took care of her. And she was to be paid once the job was complete. That was the understanding.
Of course, if she needed the money sooner–I would’ve given it to her in a heartbeat. For school. For her apartment. Whatever she needed.
But after the Parker situation–something changed.
She took the envelope of cash. She packed her bag. She said goodbye to the kids. And cried when Maddie didn’t want to let her go.
She didn’t even touch me. She just looked at me with solemn eyes that screamed “I’m sorry” as she got in her car. The one Cole had been fixing up for her.
And she drove away.
Keelan upped the security at his house. I don’t think he’d feel comfortable hosting any massive parties ever again.
Priscilla Hernandez called me to inform me that the foster family for the kids had been secured. They’d be able to move them in the same week I was scheduled to fly out to Georgia.
She said I could have a few days to consider it, if I needed to.
In the panic of Parker missing, I bargained so many things. One of them was that I’d never let the leave my side.
But now, faced with the very reality of my situation. How could I trust another person with them even under my own roof?
Maybe, they would be better off with a family. People who didn’t have the kind of schedule I had in my career. People who weren’t traveling over fifty times in a year.
I was so clear on what I was going to do the moment I held Parker again and knew he was safe.
But now, with Cassidy permanently out of the picture and school looming around the corner for them; I have to make a decision.
And fast.
Cole finds me outside staring into the engine bay of my Mustang. He comes to stand by me and sticks his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“Something wrong with it?” he asks.
I realize I’m standing there, arms crossed, scratching my beard and staring at it like it’s some kind of puzzle I need to solve.
But really it’s not the car I’m trying to figure out. It’s my life. It’s their lives.
“How do you feel about moving to Georgia?” I ask him.
He looks at me, “Are you for real right now?”
I gulp but nod. It won’t be easy. But if it’s between me or foster care… I really do feel like deep down they’d be better off with me.
And I have to trust that feeling.
Regardless of how difficult it might make things.
Cole considers it. He rubs his chin like I just did. Also staring at the engine bay like it’s a problem to solve.
“Would you let me get my permit?”
Air escapes my throat. I know what he’s going to ask next.
“With your car?”
I scratch the back of my neck and look at him.
“You get one dent on it… One dent! And no more permit for you.”
He smiles. Cole freakin’ smiles. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Cole smile.
“I won’t dent it,” he insists, reaching a hand out for the key.
I dig it out of my pocket reluctantly and hand them over to him. He stares at the keys in his hands and looks up at me.
“Where you go, we go,” he says.
And there goes any shred of dignity I have, because at that moment a sound bubbles up out of my throat. It’s a mix between a gurgle and a sob.
Cole looks at me like a just vomited. “I mean don’t get all weird about it.”
I laugh, shaking my head and reaching for the hood of the car. “Come on. Let’s see what you can do behind the wheel.” I shut it and look over at him.
“Now? Like right now?”
“I’d rather you learn here than in the streets of Savannah. At least I know these streets.”
I shoot Keelan a text that we’ll be back. He’s been playing uncle to the kids since Cassidy left. The best part of having him as a pseudo-nanny is that there’s no temptation to want anything more from him.
Jokes aside, it’s been a good distraction from him. He’s surrounded by kids.
He shoots me a text back.
Keelan
“Izzy’s in labor!”
My eyes widen at the text and Cole watches me go still.
“Uh-oh. What is it?”
“Um… I think we just got a change of plans.”
Keelan comes running out the front door with Parker on his hip and Maddie following close behind him as he pulls her with him.
He stops at the window of the Mustang and I roll it down.
“Ryker just called… she’s… her water…” he’s trying to catch his breath as he talks.
“Calm down, Lando. This is all very normal.”
He takes a deep breath and sets Parker down.
“What’s wrong with him?” Maddie points to Keelan.
“He’s about to be an uncle,” I tell her.
“Oh nice!”
“Yeah, kid. And thanks to you I’ve had plenty of practice,” he tousles her hair and Maddie tsks, swatting him away.
“Well? Should we go to the hospital? Is it too soon.”
“Hells no it’s not too soon. Let’s scram!”
It was way too soon.
Keelan and I didn’t know that first time moms could sometimes take longer than twenty four hours.
Thankfully that isn’t how long Izzy’s is taking. But by the time she actually does push, the kids are complaining in the waiting room and Maddie is convinced that the flowers we got Izzy are already wilting from how long we’ve been waiting.
Once, Izzy does have the baby. The waiting room is packed with everyone from the team coming to pay her a visit.
Keelan gets special uncle privileges and stays in the room while the other visitors have to take turns.
We’re about to head in next after Ryker and Izzy’s families when I see her.
She’s carrying a giant pink teddy and a balloon big enough to match. And she stands at the entrance looking around.
Until her eyes meet mine.
She smiles. And that’s when Maddie notices her.
She gasps her name and runs to her. “Oh my gosh you’re here! You’re really here!”
Cassidy’s laugh floats over to me and my chest constricts. Does she want to see me? Things left off so strange between us.
I get up anyways, because despite feeling conflicted I still want to be near her. Feel her. Hold her. If even for a second.
“Hi,” I say approaching her.
Her eyes dance over my features. “Hi.” She smiles.
“Here to see the baby?”
“Seems like it.” She holds up the baby gift.
Internal facepalm at that stupid and obvious question.
She’s making me flustered. She’s wearing another one of the outfits I bought her. With her own spin on it. A bright floral dress and white tennis shoes instead of heels.
It looks great on her. She makes it look great.
“Cassidy come sit with us,” Maddie pulls her toward the area we’ve been occupying and nearly set up camp in. Parker is passed out and Cole rises as soon as she approaches and gives her a hug, on his own accord and with no prompting from anyone.
She smiles and looks at him. “Hi, Cole.” Then she eyes the keys dangling from his pocket. And her eyes shoot up to him.
“Wait… did you drive here?”
He nods proudly.
And she turns to me. “And you let him?”
I shrug. “He’s fifteen. He’s gotta learn sometime.”
Then she looks at Maddie and Parker concerned. “And they were in the car too?”
Cole and I both answer, “No!”
“Of course I wouldn’t put them in the car with us. No, they rode with Lando," I tell her.
Cassidy looks relieved. She’s a natural born care-giver.
She sits between Maddie and I while we wait. “So…” I start.
“So?” she asks.
“How’s your new place? Did you ever find what you were looking for?” She clears her throat like she’s uncomfortable with what she’s about to say.
“I’m actually nannying for another family through the rest of the summer.” She doesn’t look at me.
“You are?”
She nods, but doesn’t say anything else.
Oh… so it’s just us she doesn’t want to be around.
Again. I get it. I guess. I don’t like it, but I get it.
“And, how’s that working out for you?”
She looks at me and for a split second she looks so broken it hurts me. “It’s okay.”
“Just okay?”
She shrugs. “It’s full time and they’re giving me a place to stay but… it doesn’t feel…”
“Like home?” I ask.
She gives one terse nod. “It’s not the same.”
“Oh, Princess,” I lean into her. “You shouldn’t have to work anymore I’m sure you have plenty to cover your expenses for a while."
She bites her lip and looks down at the vinyl black and white floors.
“It’s… complicated,” she says. Her eyes meeting mine.
“Hicks family?” A nurse calls into the waiting room.
We all get up. All except Cassidy. I reach my hand over to her and she stares at it.
“Come with us,” I say. And I realize just how desperate I sound when I say it. I honestly don’t even care.
“I don’t kn–”
Maddie grabs her by the arm and pushes her forward to get off the chair and take my hand.
“You’re one of us,” Maddie says to her.
And tears well in her eyes.