39. TWENTY
TWENTY
EDEN
It was a surprise to learn this morning that Alex has a house showing today.
I didn’t know he was even looking to move out of his apartment, let alone out of the city and to the suburbs.
But apparently, he’s wanting to move immediately, so he tells me in the car after we’ve dropped off Macon at school.
And coincidentally, he’s looking at the same neighborhood where Brynn and Leo have just bought a house.
So, that’s where we’re going.
“This is where your sister’s moving to?” I ask as the car rolls through tree-lined avenues fringed with houses I could never afford, even with the sheer amount of money Alex is paying me.
“Yes, but that’s not why I’m doing it.” His answer comes so quickly I suspect the opposite is true.
“I didn’t suggest it was.” I smirk, admiring a cherry-blossom tree through the window.
At long last, winter has bloomed into spring, and the temperature is finally lifting. It’s been a few days now since it last rained, and the sun beats down on us from a clear, blue sky.
Alex takes his eyes off the road to look at me a little too long. “You look really pretty today.”
I tug on the hem of my pink thigh-length dress with a fluttering heart.
The neckline cuts across my breasts, not low enough to reveal more than I’m comfortable with, but enough to show the shape of them and the deep crevice in the middle.
The short sleeves are laced with bows, and the skirt is three tiers of ruffle.
Around my shoulders, I wear a thin-knit white cardigan, because though it may be sunny out, the wind is still harsh.
I haven’t worn something so short since I was a teenager. My ex-husband did a number on my self-esteem, and motherhood changed me in ways I never anticipated, so I’ve spent the last ten years hiding my figure under unflattering clothes.
There’s a strange phenomenon that happens when you become a mother. A shift in your identity and sense of self. A fuse trips in the brain, and suddenly, you are fundamentally and unrecognizably different.
I haven’t thought much about the version of myself that I used to be. Until now, I’ve been living moment to moment, paycheck to paycheck, so I haven’t really had the time to reflect on the woman I lost along the way.
She was, as Aspen would say, someone who lived in July.
She was the sort of person to catch pneumonia from dancing in a rainstorm without a jacket, to order a milkshake with every possible flavor, and kiss boys underneath the bleachers just because she could.
She was rebellious and spontaneous. Truth be told, I miss her.
And though I can never be that girl again—nor would I want to, because as fun as she was, she was terribly irresponsible—I hope that, one day, she’ll come out of her hiding place to walk beside the woman I am today.
“What are you thinking about?” Alex watches me from the driver’s side.
He’s unbuckled his seatbelt and is twisted sideways in his seat to give me his full attention. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even realize the car had stopped, parked up on a light-colored resin driveway.
Telling him the truth feels a little too vulnerable right now, so I opt for something else. “Sebastian messaged me last night.”
His jaw tightens. “What did he say?”
“Something about a photo of me outside my apartment.” He looks down at his lap with his lip caught between his teeth. A blatant display of guilt if I ever saw one. “You already knew?”
Remorseful eyes find mine. “I asked my lawyer to stop the photos from being released, but he could only block the ones that show Macon’s face. There was nothing we could do about the ones they had of you.”
Something warms in my heart. The memory of that day has been scarred into my mind, and the shame I feel over Macon having to deal with the consequences of my decisions has been an unbearable weight in my gut.
So, I don’t care if there are photographs of me online for the world to see, no matter how unflattering they are. I only care that Macon is safe.
“I don’t know what to say.”
His gaze dips again. “Are you mad at me for not telling you?”
“No.” I think about that. “Well, not right now, at least. I just can’t believe you went to so much effort to protect Macon.”
He shrugs. “I look after the people I care about.”
Yeah, I’m starting to see that now.
Done with the conversation, Alex reaches across the console to release my seatbelt. Then he slips out of the car, jogs around it to my side, and opens the door for me. “My lady.”
“You know”—I take his outstretched hand—“if you weren’t so anti-relationships, you’d make an incredible boyfriend to someone.”
“Are you saying I’m not an incredible boyfriend now?”
“You know what I mean. A real one.”
The thought sends a spike of jealousy through my heart.
One day, he’ll be doing all these things for someone else.
Protecting them, opening their doors, kissing them with more passion than she will have ever known before, and looking at them as if they are the center of his entire universe.
All the things he’s done for me. But for her… it will be real.
I hope that whoever she turns out to be will know exactly how lucky she is.
“So, what do you think?” Alex waves his hand at the building in front of us, and I realize I was too busy looking at him to have noticed it at all.
It didn’t even register that we’re standing on the bank of Lake Washington, the water a deep shade of blue and dappled with sunlight.
The house looks proudly over it, four stories of cedar cladding and black Georgian framed windows.
A large front door made completely of glass opens to reveal a smartly dressed woman in her thirties, wearing red-soled stilettos and a warm smile.
“Mr. Wolfe, thank you for trusting me with finding you both a property.” She shakes our hands. “Imani Juma. You must be Eden.”
I nod wordlessly, feeling entirely out of my depth.
The house I shared with Sebastian once upon a time was nice but nothing like this. It was less than half the size, a mid-century building with an outdated kitchen that Sebastian always promised to upgrade but never did.
So, standing here now on the driveway of a multimillion-dollar property that I will never actually live in, I’ve never felt more like a fraud.
Alex slips his hand into mine as Imani leads us through the door into a bright foyer with light-oak flooring and Victorian paneling.
“The house is newly built. It was completed just last week and hasn’t been listed yet.
” We follow behind as she leads us through to the main living space, the clicking of her heels echoing off the high ceilings.
“Thankfully, I’m the listing agent, so I was able to get you in before it goes on the market.
I’m confident it will sell quickly, so you’ll need to make an offer as soon as possible if you’re interested. ”
I nod, though I’m not really listening. It isn’t as if I’m going to play any part in Alex’s decision to make an offer. I’m only here for the optics. And we haven’t even seen all of the house yet, so who knows whether or not he’ll be interested anyway?
That said, I’d be surprised if he wasn’t.
The house is stunning. The kitchen is enormous, with a six-seater waterfall island and dark-wood cabinetry.
Vast bi-folding doors look out onto the yard, a sprawling space of green grass, bright flowers, and foliage.
I can imagine Macon playing out there, performing musical numbers on the turf and climbing the trees that line the back.
I can picture myself sitting at the island in the morning, sipping hot coffee as Alex jogs down the stairs, freshly showered and shirtless.
He’d kiss me on the head and take a gulp of my coffee before throwing on a shirt and heading off to practice.
It’s a dangerous fantasy.
Yet, I can’t clear the vision from my eyes. It’s like the house is forcing me to imagine all the things I’d want for myself, if I only just admitted it.
“It’s a popular neighborhood for athletes and other celebrities,” Imani is saying. “The house next door has actually just been sold to a soccer player and his family, so you’ll be in good company here.”
“How interesting.” I throw a smirk in Alex’s direction, who refuses to look at me. “Do you happen to know their names?”
“Unfortunately, I can’t disclose their identities for confidentiality reasons.” Imani runs her long fingers over the back of a walnut dining chair. “But I’m sure you’ll get along well.”
“That’s okay.” I smile at her warmly, trying not to laugh. “I have a feeling we’ll all get along swimmingly. What do you think, Alex? Any guesses?”
That’s another thing about Alex…the way he adores his family.
It was evident at the dinner we hosted over the weekend, in the way he interacted with his nieces, chasing them around the kitchen as they giggled and screeched, and how he’d fussed over Brynn when he didn’t think anyone was watching.
And now, he’s buying the house next door simply because he wants to be close to them.
I’ve never known someone so fiercely loyal to the people he loves. Brynn was right about that, at least. He doesn’t play when it comes to those he cares about.
Alex huffs a noncommittal sound and changes the subject. “How big is the lot?”
“With the yard, it comes in at just over nine thousand square feet. Five bedrooms, five baths. You’ve got two terraces, a theater room on the lower level, and a home gym. So, there’s plenty of space for entertaining, if that’s your thing, and room for a growing family.”
Alex’s hand twitches in mine. His thumb rubs over my knuckle, our palms a little sweaty, but neither of us makes a move to pull away. “Macon would love the theater room. I could hook up the gaming console in there so we could play Minecraft on the big screen.”
Except, Macon won’t be living here.