60. THIRTY-TWO
THIRTY-TWO
ALEX
The day my parents died had been a good one. It was a Saturday in August and uncharacteristically warm for a Seattle summer. We’d spent the morning and most of the afternoon down at Green Lake Park, swimming and playing ball games on the sand.
My dad passed most of the time grumbling about the heat, setting up shop under a giant beach umbrella and a bucket hat that looked ridiculous on him.
Looking back now, I think he only wore it because it made my mom laugh.
And he lived to make her happy, hence why he’d refused to stay at home that day despite how much he hated the brightness of the sun and the sticky prickling of sweat from the heat. Because he knew how much she loved it.
Raised a Californian, Mom was at her best when the temperatures were at their highest. And that day, she’d danced for hours on the beach with six-year-old Brynn, the skirt of her peacock-printed sarong whipping up around her as some dude down the beach blasted Gnarls Barkley from a speaker, uncaring that people were watching.
At the age of ten, I thought I was too cool to join in.
But, man, I should’ve just done it.
Macon would have.
That’s one of the reasons why I think he’s the coolest little dude I’ve ever met. Play some Bruno Mars, and not even an apocalypse could stop that kid from rocking his shit out, no matter how many people are looking at him.
I don’t know if Brynn remembers, but she’d been so happy dancing with Mom that day, spinning around in the sand and giggling every time Mom twirled her under her arm, and I’d been so happy watching them.
Dad too. Under the rim of his stupid bucket hat, he’d looked at his wife with this glow on his face that I didn’t understand at the time, but I do now.
That night, they were going for dinner with friends in town. We had a sitter, but Dad told me I could wait up for them if I wanted. They weren’t going to be home late, he’d said.
Little did any of us know that they weren’t going to come home at all.
Around eleven, two police officers had knocked on our door and changed our lives forever.
All of this to say, I should be well adjusted to having the floor pulled out from under me when I least expect it. I should know how to handle being blindsided by tragedy. I should know what to do by now.
But when I come home after my session with Dr. Sharma to find Eden collapsed on the cold tiles of the hallway, sobbing like Brynn was that night when the police showed up at our door, I realize I don’t know what to do at all.
“Baby?” I whisper, crouching beside her trembling body and smoothing my hand over her hair. “What happened?”
“He took him.”
“What?”
“Sebastian.” She sniffs, curling even tighter in on herself. “He took Macon.”
My nails sink into the palms of my hands, dread stiffening my spine. “I don’t understand.”
“I was served the petition for sole custody, and, and, and…” She’s not breathing right. Each sharp breath is accompanied by a whimper of pain, as if there are serrated blades dragging up her throat. “And a motion…a motion…for an emergency temporary custody order.”
“I don’t… What does that mean?”
“It means he’s convinced a judge that Macon has to live with him until the official custody hearing.
” She looks up at me then, and her eyes are so grief-stricken I have to force myself to hold them.
“Because I’m neglectful.” Her forehead drops back to the floor with a silent scream. “Because I’m a danger to him.”
Blood surges to my head, making the world tilt. I drop to my ass on the tile and hug my head between my legs. “In what world are you a danger to him?”
“Because you’re paying me for sex work, and I moved my son into my client’s home.”
“WHAT?!”
She flinches.
Fuck. I shouldn’t have yelled—even though it wasn’t at her—especially when she’s like this, her cheek reddened from being pressed to the cold tile for so long, her eyes so red and puffy they look like they’re bleeding.
“He has my bank statements, Alex. And there are photos of us kissing all over the internet. He has pictures of my old apartment and written statements from witnesses, including that horrible woman who’s investing in your team.
He’s using the fact that my old address was leaked to prove that I can’t keep Macon safe and that keeping him home from school that day is evidence that my lifestyle is affecting his education.
He’s built a massive case on me, and what the fuck have I done?
” She slaps the floor and roars, “NOTHING! I’ve done nothing! ”
God, her words, her pain, is shattering me.
And I’m so mad, so motherfucking furious with Sebastian for taking Eden’s desperation to keep her son and twisting it into something it isn’t.
My fists are white-knuckled and twitching from the urge to punch something, but my anger isn’t going to fix this, and it certainly won’t help Eden.
“We’ll figure this out, baby.” I keep my voice soft, unfurling my fists so I can stroke circles across her back.
She releases a sob that erupts from the depths of her soul. “How?”
I don’t know.
“We’ll call the family law attorney I set you up with. She’ll have a plan.”
That’s all we can do for now. But Eden needs to get off this floor, or her bones will be aching for weeks, so I gently reach for her and pull her into my lap.
Standing with her in my arms proves to be a little difficult, but it’s nothing I can’t handle, and cradling her like a baby, I carry her through to the bedroom and settle her beneath the covers.
“I’m gonna make you some tea.”
She latches onto my wrist before I can leave.
“Don’t go.”
“I won’t be gone long, baby.” I try to ease out of her grip, but she holds me tighter. “I just need you to drink something.”
She shakes her head, her gaze wild, her breathing beginning to pick up speed again. “Stay.”
“I—” I swing my gaze toward the door in conflict. She’s been crying for I don’t know how long. She needs sugar for the shock and water so she doesn’t dehydrate. I just want to look after her.
“Please.”
It’s that one rasp of a word that does me in. I nod, and she shifts over on the mattress to give me room to curl my body around hers. She sags into me immediately, her back to my front, her fingers clutching my wrists to keep me where I am.
“I’m going to fix this for you. And when it’s done, and Macon is back where he belongs, I’m going to destroy that bastard for making you hurt like this.
I will ruin him, Eden. I swear it.” I keep my voice low and muffled against her hair, but it isn’t enough to stave off the edge of violence in my tone.
She laughs, but there’s nothing happy about the sound. “I love you for thinking you can.”
I just love you.
But now isn’t the time to tell her that, not when she’s coming down from a panic attack. Not when her greatest fear in the world has just been realized. I’ve already waited too long to tell her how I feel. Waiting a few more days until this shitshow has been sorted out isn’t going to hurt.
“I know I can.”
She doesn’t argue, but I know she doesn’t believe me. That’s okay. She doesn’t have to. But I won’t rest until that man feels every ounce of the pain he’s put Eden through, one thousand times over and then some.
Plotting his downfall is all I can do to keep myself sane as I lie with Eden shaking in my arms until, gradually, her breathing begins to settle. Once I’m confident she’s deep enough asleep not to notice, I extricate myself from her death grip.
I have a lawyer to call.
And another to destroy.
I have dinner cooking on the stove when the phone rings. The sound jolts me out of staring into space, where I’m stirring pasta sauce at the island as it bubbles from the too-high heat.
“Coach Carter?”
“Wolfe.” I know from the biting growl of that word alone how this conversation is going to go. “Before I start, is there anything you need to tell me?”
He knows.
“I’m not sure, sir.” I fight to keep my voice steady, but it trembles at the end. And Coach knows me well enough to read into it.
“You lied to me.”
A rock sinks from my throat into my gut.
“You looked me in the eye, and you lied.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuccckkk.
I can’t cope with this. There’s only so much a dude can take, and I think I’ve hit my limit.
“I’m sorry.” It’s all I can think of to say, but then, like a dam splitting, the truth comes gushing out.
“It started because I was desperate. Soccer has been my anchor for twenty years. It’s what I leaned on when my parents died.
It was my escape from the grief and responsibility I took on when they passed.
And this team…the Strikers…fuck. If I couldn’t play for them, then I didn’t want to play for anyone, because you guys have been like my replacement family.
And with Brynn marrying Leo, she didn’t need me anymore, sir.
She doesn’t need me anymore. So, without the team, what did I have left? ”
“Wait, Alex, what?”
“So, I asked Eden to be my fake girlfriend. I knew it would help me turn my media image around and maybe help me win the favor of the investors, but it turned out that she needed me even more than I needed her. Her ex-husband is an asshole. No, he’s worse than that.
Forgive me for saying this, Coach, but her ex is a cunt.
And now, he’s got her little boy, and I don’t know if we’ll be able to get him back. ”
“He’s got the kid?”
“Yeah.” I sniff. I hadn’t even realized I was crying.
“He’s got Macon. And Macon’s the coolest little dude in the whole world, and he calls me Uncle Alex, and he sleeps with this little hippo called Mr. Snuggles, but his dad makes him feel shitty about it.
And that cunt, Sebastian, is gonna keep making him feel shitty about it if he gets his way, because he’s somehow convinced a judge to remove Macon from Eden’s care.
I mean, it’s only until the official custody hearing, but if he’s managed that, then the court case isn’t looking good for us.
So, yes, Coach, I’m sorry I lied. I’m really fucking sorry.
And if I’ve lost my place on the team because of it, then so be it.
But I have worse things to worry about right now.
My girl is distraught, and her son is gone. ”
There’s a long pause on the other end of the phone. I only know Coach is still there because I can hear his deep sighs and the padding of his sneakers pacing on the linoleum floor of the training offices.
“There’s a lot to unpack there,” he says finally.
I huff a sad chuckle. “Yeah.”
“Your parents died?” His voice is hesitant and slow, like he’s speaking to a frightened child.
“Um, yeah.” I clear my throat. “When I was ten. Jack and Libby are my adoptive parents. I…er…never used to like talking about that part of my life, so I didn’t really tell anyone.”
“What’s changed?”
“Them.”
I guess he understands my meaning because he releases a low hum in response. “You could’ve told me, you know?”
“About my parents?”
“About all of it.” He sighs. “I’m not pissed that you lied to the investors, only that you lied to me. I don’t know… I just thought you had more respect for me than that.”
Rip out my fucking heart, why don’t you?
“If it’s any consolation, I’ve felt like a piece of shit for it every day.”
He laughs. “As you should.”
“I really am sorry.” I take the pan of pasta sauce off the stove and slump back against the island. “Are they kicking me off the team?”
He puffs a heavy breath, saying nothing, but his silence is answer enough.
“Oh.” My free hand finds my hair and claws at the roots. “Yeah, I get it.”
“I’m sorry, Alex. Truly. Nothing is confirmed yet, but it’s not looking good, and my hands are tied.” I hear the scrape of his chair as he falls into it. “It’s not even that you lied about the relationship. It’s the stories that have been posted today.”
“What stories?”
“About how you’ve been soliciting sex from a vulnerable single mother. Really goes against Purview’s family-friendly reputation.”
Oh, that motherfucker.
“But it’s not true!” I yell. Then quieter, I say, “I’ve never paid Eden for sex.”
“I believe you, but I’m not the one you need to convince.
Look, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re no longer welcome at practice on Monday.
The team wants you in for a meeting in the morning.
It’ll be the only chance you get to plead your case, but if I were you, I’d prepare yourself to turn in your kit. ”
“Fuck.” My fist hits the countertop with a resounding thud. “How am I gonna explain to the kid that I can’t help him with his school project?”
“Did you hear what I just said?”
“Yeah. Eden’s at risk of permanently losing her son, and I’ve done the one thing I swore to Macon I would never do.”
“What’s that, son?”
“Break a promise.”
“Just come to the meeting on Monday, okay? If anyone can charm their way back onto a team, it’s you.”
I once thought losing my place on the team was the worst thing that could happen, but it’s staggering how little I care about that right now.
All I can think about is Macon, how scared and confused he must be feeling, how much he just wants to come home.
And Eden… I’ve never seen someone so in pain. So broken.
“Shit. I’ve gotta go. I’ve gotta figure this out.”
“I watched you, you know?” Coach cuts in before I have a chance to hang up.
“With Eden. The way you looked at her, how you always knew where she was whenever you were in the same room, the little glances over your shoulder just to check in. You reminded me of how I looked at my wife before she died.” He pauses, releasing a ragged sigh.
“I can’t believe you were pretending all this time. ”
“That’s the thing, Coach.” I exhale a resigned chuckle. “I don’t think it was ever pretend.”