35
35
Callum
Heather: Where did Alistair and Callum run off to?
We didn’t even get a chance to chat.
Mal: I don’t know anything!
Heather: Guys?
Alistair: I suddenly felt sick so I’m heading home.
I think Callum is otherwise engaged.
Mal: Maybe Callum’s sick too.
He definitely looked a little peaky.
Alistair: Thought you didn’t know anything?
Heather: What the hell is going on?
“Are you okay?” I asked Juniper the second I was able.
The smile on my face likely visible from outer space.
She laughed, her entire body soft and trembling.
“What the fuck was that?”
“I was hoping you could tell me.” I kissed her sweaty forehead, brushing my lips back and forth.
“You just sucked my cock so well I thought I was having an exorcism.”
“The power of Christ compels you.” She giggled again, the sound music to my ears.
Her legs split over my waist, and I groaned, my cock still buried in its favourite spot, deep inside her.
“And I can’t explain it.” She pillowed her chin on her hands, looking so fucking content splayed out across my chest, I shook my head in disbelief.
“That’s never happened before.”
I assumed she didn’t mean the orgasm as I’d made her come multiple times by now.
Or the hand tying. She’d been in control to a point it felt safer for my sanity not to analyse it.
“Elaborate.”
She licked my nipple and I grinned, the little demon loved my nipples almost as much as I loved hers.
“You made me come without even touching my clit.”
Surprised, I tried to think back and regrettably failed.
The best sex of my fucking life but from the moment she’d smeared her lipstick on my cock it had all felt like an out-of-body experience.
Regardless, I had the urge to beat my chest like a caveman for putting that satisfied smile on her face.
Though it caused my cock to slide rather unceremoniously from her, I caught her beneath the arms – chuckling as she squealed – and dragged her up my chest. I needed to look her in the eye for this.
“Did you, Juniper ‘ Callum shut the fuck up ’ Ross, just come to the sound of my voice?”
“I don’t think you’re giving enough credit to the baseball bat between your legs.”
I grinned like an absolute fool.
“I knew it. This whole time you’ve been getting hot when I talk to you, sweetheart.”
“I wouldn’t say the whole time—”
I squeezed her hips, delighting in the realisation I could now have her laughing beneath me whenever I pleased.
Attempting to get away, she rolled off me and onto the twisted sheets.
I followed, ignoring the twinge in my bruised ribs, and pinned her arms above her head.
“Admit that you like it.”
Her smile was wide and stupid and so damn pretty I couldn’t resist kissing it.
“I might not hate it.”
“Liar.” I clicked my tongue.
“In fact … I think you love the sound of my voice.”
“Are you attempting to trick a love confession out of me?” Her long legs swept my thighs.
I groaned, falling into the cradle of her hips when holding myself aloft suddenly became impossible.
I was so weak for this woman.
Pathetically so.
“Maybe.” That’s exactly what I was doing.
“ Damn . Now I definitely can’t say it back.”
“Minx.” I bit her neck and she laughed throatily.
“Say it.”
“Nope.”
“ Say it. ” I punctuated the point with a flick of the bar through her nipple.
She gasped but still managed to lift a single perfect brow in challenge.
“Make me.”
Oh, fucking gladly .
Rising first, I dragged her after me, delivering a swift slap to her perfect behind.
“In the shower. Now.”
Turning on the spot, she curled her arms around my neck, pressing a kiss to my lips that swept me away.
I would never get enough of her.
My hands fell back to her thighs, half lifting her as I stumbled through the dark to the bathroom door.
Reaching around her, I flipped on the light, laughing into her mouth when she cried out at the cold tile on her bare toes.
“It’s bloody freezing.”
“Aye.” It was, now that she mentioned it.
Our body temperatures must have dropped some.
“Get in, I’ll warm you up.”
She barely had the shower door open when a crash sounded from the other room.
We frowned at each other.
“It’s probably Shakespeare destroying my shoe collection again,” she said.
I flipped on the water as another crash followed.
Bloody cat.
Staring at Juniper’s very naked, very wet body, I could have wept.
“Warm up, I’ll be back in a second.” I kissed her forehead and closed the shower door, walking back into the open-plan space.
Clothes and shoes were scattered from the bed to the living room, like a reverse treasure hunt.
I flipped on the wardrobe light, shifting the clothes on the lower rails, searching for Shakespeare.
Nothing. Retracing my steps, I tried the kitchen next.
She liked to sit on top of the refrigerator sometimes, she might have fallen down the back.
Crash.
I halted, head tilting to the front door.
My feet were already moving down the narrow hallway, growing colder with every step.
I found the front door ajar, creaking in the frame as the wind blew it back and forth.
Giving zero fucks for my current state of undress, I poked my head out, glancing over the small, sleepy front garden.
Finding all well, I closed and latched it then hurried back to the bathroom.
Juniper was washing suds from her hair when I slid the fogged glass back.
I followed the trail all the way down to her toes.
“Everything all right?”
Hands immediately seeking the closest scrap of her skin, I crowded her into the far corner, joining her under the hot spray.
“The front door was ajar, we must have forgotten to close it earlier.”
She nodded contentedly.
Then wide eyes flew to mine.
“Shakespeare! Did you see her?”
I shook my head.
“She doesn’t go outside?”
“ No .” Scrambling around me, she flung herself from the shower, almost slipping as she snatched a towel from the hook.
“Kelly advised against it until she was fully settled.”
“ Shit .” I followed right on her heels.
“Don’t worry, we’ll find her.” Drying myself off with quick, rough swipes, I had little choice but to re-don my kilt and shirt or waste time going next door to change.
Maybe I should move a few belongings over here, or Juniper could move her stuff into my place …
Not the time.
Juniper disappeared inside her wardrobe while I dressed, cursing and banging as she hurried.
Worry strained her face when she returned, suds-soaked hair dripping onto her knitted jumper.
I went to her side, cupping her shoulders.
“You can’t go out there like that, you’ll freeze to death.” She didn’t even have matching shoes on.
It didn’t feel like the time to point it out.
“I have to.” She clutched my shirt.
Tears lined her eyes as she screwed the fabric between desperate hands.
“She could be anywhere by now. She must be so scared; I have to find her.”
“Sweetheart, cats are resourceful, she’s going to be fine.” I squeezed the ends of her hair to get rid of some of the moisture then tucked it behind her ears.
“At least put a hat on so I don’t need to worry about you too.”
“Fine.” She grabbed the beanie I’d bought for her while I dug out a couple of torches.
Then hand in hand, we went out into the night.
* * *
“Shakespeare!”
“Shakespeare!”
Juniper’s shouts had turned to panicked cries long ago, tearing through the trees and hedge growth surrounding our properties with a singular focus.
I’d taken a more methodical approach, leaving no stone unturned, searching every nook and cranny a terrified cat may think to hide.
Through every moment, logic screamed at me, the words I’d tell any pet owner as a veterinarian: cats have a canny ability of finding their way back home, days or weeks, sometimes months after going missing.
But Juniper wasn’t any pet owner and Shakespeare wasn’t any cat.
She was nervous and slow to trust. Would she even think of this place as home yet?
I didn’t have the heart to raise the question aloud.
“Anything?” The light of Juniper’s torch bounced as she jogged to meet me.
I shook my head. “Sorry, sweetheart.” Her crushed expression killed me.
Her teeth were chattering, and I pulled her against my chest, chafing her arms. “We’re not giving up. I promise you, she’ll be back by morning, the same wee pain in the arse she’s always been.”
“What if she isn’t, Callum? She literally ran away at the first opportunity presented to her. And I was so distracted I didn’t even notice. It was cruel to bring her home in the first place when she clearly hates me. I should have left her with Kelly … or a shelter, at least she’d be safe right now.” Her tears soaked my neck, and I rocked her, pressing my lips to her hat, kissing her even if she couldn’t feel it.
“She hates me,” she repeated, sounding so young and lost all of a sudden tears unexpectedly burned my own eyes.
“I don’t even blame her.”
They just didn’t love me enough.
This was about so much more than a cat.
If Shakespeare never returned would she see it as just another being she loved abandoning her?
Understanding came a long time before acceptance.
Deep down she might understand another person’s love didn’t equal the value of your self-worth, but how long would it take her to accept it?
To not blame and hate herself for every small rejection?
“Impossible,” I said fiercely.
Wishing I could imprint the sentiment onto her soul.
“It would quite literally be easier to tear my own heart from my chest than hate you.”
“Look at how quickly she bonded with you. I’ve tried everything I can think of … for months and—” Tears glistened on her pale cheeks.
“I wouldn’t come back to me either.”
Fuck.
Clasping her cheeks, I glanced between those eyes that had always consumed me.
World eaters, I’d once called them, when I should have said: my entire world .
“We’re getting her back. Do you trust me?” I’d search every inch of this damn island if that’s what it took.
She nodded weakly and the tightness in my chest eased marginally.
“We need to stay calm and form a plan, coming at this half-baked won’t get us anywhere. First thing, I assume she’s chipped?” Juniper nodded.
“That’s good, if anyone picks her up, they’ll likely bring her straight to the practice anyway. I have a humane trap stored in my office. I’ll drive into the village—” The crunch of tyres cut me off and we both turned as headlights shone down the lane, too bright to make out the driver.
It was almost two in the morning, who the hell would be visiting at this hour?
Shielding my eyes, I shifted, blocking Juniper from sight.
We didn’t have to wait long.
The window lowered and Mal’s voice cut through the quiet.
“Thought we’d find you here. I’ve been phoning you for the past thirty minutes.”
I patted down my chest, pulling my phone from my jacket pocket.
Five missed calls flashed on the screen.
“I must have switched it to silent,” I said.
Ducking my head, I glanced inside the car, finding Mal still dressed in his traditional garb, April beside him, looking more than a little rumpled in her dark green dress.
“What’s going on?”
He grimaced.
“It’s Dad, he’s had a fall—” The rest of the sentence faded to white noise, my brain fighting to compute what I was hearing.
That Alistair had found Dad lying by the side of the road almost a mile away from our parents’ house on his way back from the party, a gaping gash to his forehead.
That Dad had snuck out of the house while Mum slept.
I barely even felt Juniper’s hands urging me toward the car until she spoke my name, her voice the ring of a bell I’d always respond to.
She kissed my chilled fingers.
“Callum, you have to go.”
My throat felt too tight to form words.
“But … Shakespeare—”
Juniper’s tear-streaked face softened, even as her lower lip wobbled.
“Don’t worry about that for now.”
“What happened to Shakespeare?” April bent over the centre console.
“She slipped out earlier this evening, we can’t find her,” I said.
“Shit, June, I’m sorry. I’ll stay and help look.” April started to unbuckle her seatbelt, but Juniper shook her head.
“You guys need to get to the surgery, Iris and Jim need you. I can keep looking.”
“Alone? Fuck no .” I needed to go, logically I knew that.
Mum would be beside herself, so would Heather and the twins.
The weight of responsibility slumped heavily around my neck, the sweet perfection I’d found in Juniper’s bed only an hour ago already feeling like a distant memory.
My family needed me, but Juniper had become my family too, mine to take care of, she deserved to be someone’s first priority.
Torn in two, I pulled her aside, staring down into her resigned face.
“I’ll stay.”
“Don’t be stupid, this isn’t important—”
“Of course it is.” My hands tightened around hers.
“You aren’t doing this alone. I won’t let you.” Just the thought of her searching through the night by herself, feeling alone and unloved, made me want to break something.
Fuck , the first time she needed me and I was failing at the first hurdle.
Scrubbing a hand down my face, I wracked my brain for a way around it.
“You could come with us, we’ll check in on my dad and come straight back.”
“No.” She made the decision for me, pushing me toward the car.
“You know my presence will make things more complicated with Alistair. You need to go and be with your family, you’ll hate yourself if you don’t.”
Fuck , but she was right.
Still, I hesitated, dropping my forehead to hers.
“I’ll take my phone, keep me updated. Give it no more than an hour and if you haven’t found her, leave some food out and go inside to warm up.” I cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at me.
“Promise me?”
“I promise.” Despite all her bluster, Juniper couldn’t lie for shit.
I kissed her deeply, dragging her bottom lip into my mouth.
“I love you. Do you believe me?” If she didn’t believe I was coming straight back to her, there was no way I could force myself into that car.
“Aye.” Her smile was timid but real.
My knees almost buckled at the relief of it.
Even with our audience, I kissed her again.
I couldn’t help it. “When I get home, I expect to hear you say it back.” Another kiss.
Slow and deep, to say I’d see her soon.
“Be careful.”
* * *
“I think you like keeping me on my toes, Jim.” A sweet-sounding Lowlands voice sliced through the tense surgery room like bagpipes at a fucking funeral.
“I didn’t expect to see you here, Dr Redford.” I climbed to my feet to shake hands with Dad’s usual doctor.
She looked tired, her scrubs a little creased, her blonde hair beginning to slip from her top-knot.
But her smile was as kind as ever.
She possessed a rare gentle hand that managed to calm Dad.
“I volunteer every second Saturday.” She folded both hands around her clipboard as she glanced around the room.
“A full house today.”
Heather was on her way with the girls.
But every other Macabe had poured into two cars and currently took up most of the three-foot-square cubicle of the Isle of Skye Minor Injuries unit.
The hour drive from Kinleith to Portree had passed in an agonising, knee-bouncing crawl, my thoughts spinning from Dad to Juniper then back again.
I’d made Mal relay Alistair’s message, word for word, too many times to count, that Dad was okay, a little banged up, but conscious.
I hadn’t truly believed it until I saw him with my own eyes, lying on the narrow bed, his hand clasped between Mum’s.
Quiet, but alert, despite the long cut to his forehead.
A nurse had looked him over initially but called a doctor to determine if he had a concussion and to stitch him up.
That had been hours ago.
Dr Redford approached his side, giving Mum’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
“Looks like you’ve had an accident there, Jim. Line dancing again, were you?”
Dad didn’t answer and Alistair pushed to his feet, towering over the young doctor.
“I’m able to stitch the wound myself if given access to a room and the necessary equipment.”
I scowled where I reclined against the wall.
Alistair hadn’t spoken a single word to me, not that I exactly blamed him.
Juniper was right … I’d let my jealousy get the better of me and behaved like an overbearing arsehole, all but knocking her over the head with my club and dragging her back to my cave.
On top of that, I’d disrespected him as my brother.
Aye, I didn’t believe he got a say in my relationship with Juniper, but he’d deserved a conversation – an explanation – at the very least. No wonder he’d punched me.
That didn’t mean he had the right to take out his frustration on the kind doctor.
“Planning to stitch a wound with a broken hand?” I nodded to the swollen digits of his left hand, the skin already beginning to bruise.
He’d fared far worse than I had.
I’d have to teach him how to throw a decent punch once this was over.
Alistair scowled, tucking his hand into his jacket pocket as the doctor glanced between us like she expected a brawl.
The tension was starting to get to everyone.
Mal couldn’t sit for more than a few minutes at a time and had taken to reorganising a jar of wrapped boiled sweets on the desk.
April stood at his side, offering whispered suggestions on colour preference.
The jar now ranked from purple through to red through to green.
Even Mum – distracted as she was – had thrown worried glances between Alistair and me.
Dr Redford turned a saccharine sweet smile up at Alistair.
“I don’t think we’ve been introduced.”
“I’m Dr Alistair Macabe.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr Macabe. I’m Amy Redford and I’m in charge of this unit. You are very welcome to come through and watch me work. I could take a look at that hand too.”
Alistair frowned, then seemed to get the message that he was acting like a high-handed prick to this woman for no reason.
Flushing, he cleared his throat and stepped back.
“That won’t be necessary.”
Moving over to my parents, I dropped a kiss to the top of Mum’s head and brushed a hand over Dad’s shoulder, giving a light squeeze.
“We’ll wait here,” I promised them.
Mum nodded mutely, her eyes locked on Dad as she followed him and Dr Redford from the room, like she could tether him to this lucid moment by sheer force of will.
I couldn’t look away, but instead of Dad, I saw Juniper in that bed, forty-odd years from now.
Would I make different decisions than my mum had?
Or would I be clinging on just as tightly?
The truth had me rubbing the headache building in my temples.
“ Fuck .”
“Language.” Heather’s hiss reached us before she even rounded the corner.
Emily tucked on one hip, Ava barely awake, holding her mum’s hand.
“There are children present.”
“Hey, peanut,” Mal said, obviously glad for something to do, scooping Ava into his arms, immediately settling her against his broad chest.
I used the moment of hugs and explanations to pull out my phone and check over my thread of messages to Juniper.
Have you found her?
Let me know you’re all right, at least.
Please, sweetheart.
I typed out a new text right below the others, watching as two ticks appeared.
Then, I waited for those ticks to turn blue to let me know she’d read it.
I was still staring at the screen when Heather, shucking out of her thick coat and scarf, voiced, “Someone better tell me what the hell is going on, the tension in this room is making me antsy.”
It was almost five in the morning.
Hopefully she’d stopped searching and gone to bed.
I doubted it. The thick, slimy feeling spreading through my gut doubted it too.
So distracted by thoughts of Juniper, I didn’t even hear the conversation taking place around me until Alistair clipped, “Callum’s fucking Juniper.”
Mal wheezed, looking unprepared to dive between the two of us again.
April gasped in a god-awful display of shock, given her occupation.
And Heather said nothing at all.
I stared at my brother, resisting the impulse shake him.
“I get that you’re pissed, but I’ll only say it one more time, keep her name out of your mouth. Fucking isn’t half of what’s between us.”
“Oh, so you have feelings for her now?” he hit back with a sneer.
“Yes.” My voice whipped dangerously.
If he’d been anyone but my brother, I wouldn’t even have dignified him with a response.
“Don’t make me laugh, Callum, you don’t take anything seriously.”
It wasn’t at all what I’d expected him to say, and it hurt more than I’d ever admit out loud.
Absorbing the stinging blow, I volleyed my own.
Words I’d regret later.
“And how the fuck would you know, huh? Knowing would mean actually visiting your family once in a while, or a phone call where you aren’t distracted half the time. Ava and Emily barely even know who you are—”
At Alistair’s flinch, Heather jumped between us.
“Woah, all right, I think maybe we should take it down a notch.”
“As if you’re all right with this.” Alistair flung a hand at her.
His good hand, I noted, the other he kept tucked inside his jacket.
“I wasn’t at first but—”
“Wait, wait, wait …” Like a switch had been flipped, all fight drained from him as his gaze flicked between us.
“You already knew about this? Since when?”
Heather’s lips rolled together.
I could see the gears turning in her mind, deciding whether to lie or tell the truth.
She settled on honesty.
“I found out a few weeks ago,” she said simply.
“And quickly realised it isn’t my place to be pissed off.”
I opened my mouth to intervene on Heather’s behalf, when Mal cleared his throat.
“This is probably a good time to mention that I also knew.”
Fucking hell, probably could have kept that to yourself, Mal.
Alistair’s expression shifted from stunned to betrayed in a nanosecond.
He was a man who prided himself on always having the right answer, being last to know something so huge would hurt him deeply.
I couldn’t stand that I was the one causing that hurt.
Sighing, I scrubbed a hand over my face.
“Alistair, I’m sorry—”
“You all knew?” Alistair’s chest heaved, like he was absorbing a great weight.
The result trickled around the room until the air felt thick.
“It wasn’t intentional.”
He nodded shakily, a raw laugh slipping free.
“Right.”
“It wasn’t,” I implored, stalking closer.
His eyes were glassy when they settled on me, wounded and furious, ready to land another blow.
“As you’ve finally decided to be so honest, this is the perfect time to come clean about Dad’s diagnosis.”
My stomach sank.
Mouth snapping open, then closed, as my retort died on my tongue.
“What’s he talking about?” Heather’s voice sounded suddenly small, the way she’d sounded when she was seven years old.
“Don’t.” I pointed a finger at Alistair, unable to look at my baby sister.
“Don’t you dare use Dad as a way of getting back at me.”
His jaw ticked.
“They were going to find out eventually.”
“Find out what?” Mal asked, his face smooth as marble, perfectly blank even as he held a sleeping Ava so carefully.
Heather’s arms wrapped around her middle, paler than I’d ever seen her.
For the first time in so long, I floundered, without a clue what to say to my siblings.
Juniper’s words came back to me from the day she’d encountered Dad in the village, Who’s taking care of you?
Perching on my coffee table, glass of whisky in hand, she’d known the answer without me having to say it.
No one. No one takes care of me.
And I’d been okay with that.
What I couldn’t accept was the knowledge that tonight likely wouldn’t have happened if I’d been more open with my siblings.
Heather whispered my name again and I finally faced them.
“Dad—” I took a ragged breath.
“ The disease has worsened a lot quicker than doctors first predicted. His memory loss is significant and he’s becoming agitated, because of that he’s started wandering out of the house. That’s what happened tonight.”
“No.” Heather shook her head.
Chin raised defiantly.
“I would have known, we have lunch every weekend, I would have noticed.”
“Mum and I have gotten good at covering it up.” Not to mention big groups overwhelmed Dad these days.
He’d lost all ability to follow a conversation, he pretty much sat in silence any time we were all together.
“Why cover it up at all? You had no right to keep that from us.” There was an edge to Mal’s tone.
Guilt perhaps, the last thing I ever wanted from him.
April’s arm curled around his waist, silently soothing.
Pacing to the window, I shoved a hand through my hair.
“Because I didn’t want to burden you.”
“Bullshit,” Mal shot back, the steel in his voice taking me aback.
“This is classic you. You have a hero complex a mile wide, always looking for something to fix, a new problem to take on so you can avoid what’s missing in your own life.”
It didn’t take a genius to figure out what – rather who – he referred to.
People always said introverts were the most observant, but I hadn’t realised my wee brother saw me quite so clearly.
“No more,” he finally said.
“We make these decisions together. As a family.”
I nodded, shoulders slumping with relief.
It was an easy agreement to make.
I didn’t want to do this alone, not anymore.
“As a family,” Heather agreed, coming to my side to hug me.
Alistair’s agreement came last. He stood away from the rest of us, his tone cool, posture aloof.
But he spoke the words all the same – as a family – and I knew we’d be okay eventually.