8. The Bonfire #3
“See?! It’s too complicated,” Bridger concluded. He sighed and turned back to Gus. “Man, life is hard. And the future stresses me out. All I can handle is now,” he said, leaning in close to Gus and lifting his drink slightly.
“And right now,” Bridger added, “I’m happy.”
He nodded as if to confirm that statement to himself, looking out at the night sky before them with a soft smile.
Gus also leaned back. His shoulder brushed Bridger’s, but he held it there. Bridger didn’t pull away. They were very close. Heat radiated between their bodies.
Gus smiled nervously and asked, “Do you even… want a girlfriend?”
Bridger nodded but then paused to re-think for a moment.
“I’ve never had anyone like me like that. Not really,” Bridger responded honestly.
Gus blinked at Bridger and shook his head. “You will though. You’re attractive.”
Bridger spit beer back into his bottle.
“You think I’m hot?” Bridger snorted. He drunkenly leaned into Gus, playfully nudging his shoulder.
Both boys laughed again.
“Hey! I never said hot!” Gus rebuffed, trying to hide his nerves with a wide, joking grin.
Bridger’s smile faded. He squinted in curiosity.
“What do you want in a girl, Gus?” Bridger asked.
Gus sniffed in indifference before realizing Bridger was being serious. He paused to think as Bridger looked back into the fire.
“I don’t know…” Gus admitted.
He stole a slow, secret yearnful glance at Bridger. “Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who supports me, believes in me. Someone I can be myself around,” Gus responded, searching Bridger’s eyes from the side. “You?”
Bridger breathed in and thought hard.
“A girl who wants me for me, you know? A real connection. Someone who inspires me to try new things. Makes me do my best. Someone who goes on adventures. Like…”
Bridger lifted his drink up to the sky. His eyes twinkled as he looked over at Gus, who grew a grin.
“Nights like these! Getting drunk under the stars at 2:00 a.m. Making out by a warm campfire.” Bridger nodded in tipsy delight.
Gus raised his eyebrows. Is he joking or… serious?
“Don’t be getting any ideas,” Gus teased with a shaky laugh.
Bridger rolled his eyes playfully and softly hit Gus in the arm.
“Shut up!” he joked, staring at Gus longer than normal.
Both boys paused in their happy state, locking eyes.
The air suddenly felt different. They were now so close, they could almost hear each other’s quickening heartbeats.
Warmth grew from more than just the fire.
Bridger chuckled and looked deeply at Gus, who flicked his head away and swigged his beer.
Bridger glanced down to watch Gus’s lips as he drank.
There was a pause. Gus peered back at the silent Bridger, who immediately averted his gaze.
Bridger took a long deep breath, as if to convince himself of something.
He downed his beer, then leaned in very close to Gus’s face.
Bonfire reds and moonlight blues illuminated him as he released a vulnerable, tipsy confession.
“Gus,” Bridger spoke softly, “if you were a girl, I’d kiss you right now.”
Those words made Gus choke on his next thought. Milliseconds became minutes as Bridger looked directly into his eyes. Gus’s heart pumped harder than it ever had before. His breath became shorter, goosebumps swept across his skin, his cheeks flushed. Everything inside Gus became one single thought:
Do it. Kiss me now.
The sounds of nature that had filled their silence faded away. Gus, scanning between Bridger’s own darting eyes, tilted his head, his brow raised in desire. He warmed up with an anxious tipsy smile. Bridger finally leaned closer. They were separated only by inches.
Gus dared to move forward.
Kiss me.
Bridger scoffed with gentle remorse and pulled his head away from Gus.
“But that would be… gay, right?” he whispered.
The bonfire’s smoky winds of regret blew back in as reality solidified in Gus’s undrawn world.
Gus’s heart sank as Bridger laughed off the awkward moment.
Was he joking this whole time?
Bridger leaned on the log behind them again, grabbed another bottle of nearby beer, and looked back up at the stars. Gus didn’t know how Bridger was so fully unfazed by what had just happened.
Because it’s ridiculous. He’d never kiss me, Gus reflected. We’re not those kinds of guys.
Turning his own gaze to the stars, Gus yawned as his pained heartbeat slowed back down. He drank the last drops of beer in his bottle and clenched his teeth, lost in the constellations.
What’s wrong with me?
Gus didn’t know. But at least Bridger was still here. As the moment passed, Gus breathed in and decided he needed to accept things as they were. Bridger was his friend. That was it. That was all he could be.
Gus yawned again. Whether from the booze, the late-night talk, his busy day, or the adrenaline crash from the almost-kiss, Gus fell asleep right there, next to the bonfire’s dead embers, without realizing it.
In the morning, when Gus awoke, he was still in the same spot in the forest. He sat up and looked around.
Bridger was gone.