CHAPTER 27
When I saw you kissing him.
Dante’s words keep echoing in my head, even though it has been a week since he said them.
I glare at him. He keeps staring at me every day while he eats, barely blinking. It’s the only time we spend together. He doesn’t talk, and neither do I, while Finn focuses only on his food.
After my son finishes eating, I start my meal. I glance at Dante as he licks his lips.
I can’t help but wonder how our last kiss that night was.
If I’d known it would be the last, I would have paid more attention. I can’t recall if we were fucking, cuddling, or drifting to sleep.
Most of the time, I can’t remember anything about that one night; only those words, repeating again and again, after my father told me the truth.
“You have a fiancé, and you’re still dripping on my hand... Poor guy. He deserves better than a used cunt like yours.”
“I’m going to fuck this tight pussy until it’s full of my cum. You’ll be walking down the aisle with it dripping out of you, and you’ll be thinking about what I’ll do to you tonight... And when you get married, you’ll think about me every day until we meet again, my little whore.”
“Oh, that poor, lucky bastard.”
Tears well up in my eyes, and I drop my fork. I don’t want to look at him.
I stand and take Finn with me.
“You barely touched your food,” Dante says, rising to his feet.
“I suddenly lost my appetite.”
“Lana—”
“I can’t stand you,” I hiss. “I can’t look at you right now, and I certainly don’t want to be near you.”
It hurts too much—to know he used me, to know he bought me.
I take Finn’s plate upstairs. It’s only a dish of fruit for dessert.
My heart can’t, and won’t, heal with him around. Not now. Not in months, not in years. I won’t fall for his lies.
I trusted that if I fell, he would catch me. But when I did, there was no one. I was alone. I was raped. I was beaten. I was tortured.
He promised to take me out of that hell, and I ended up somewhere worse.
I was so broken, I begged my husband to return me to my family.
I didn’t care if my father kept touching me.
I didn’t care if he beat me. I’d been living with it my whole life.
But a broken heart? A husband? Cheating? All of it was new.
I try not to blame myself. I try to be the girl I became with Dante.
I was a little more confident. I trusted him blindly.
I stood up to my father. I knew it wasn’t my fault.
Dante made me believe I hadn’t asked for any of it…
But what if I really deserved it? What if that’s all I’m good for?
What if I had settled for what my father wanted?
What if that was the only thing I had to do?
What if I had just let him do whatever he wanted? What if I had told Mum? If I’d refused to be touched? What if he had raped me that night? What if that was what he was meant to do? What if I belonged to that life and should never have met Dante? What if I had just done as he said?
No. I can’t think like that! All my life, I’ve tried not to. And now… now this.
It wasn’t my fault. I did nothing wrong. He could have done anything, but I didn’t want it. I never wanted him!
I wanted Dante, and he tricked me too.
For the first time in a year, I cry in front of Finn. I rub my face over and over while he sits in his cot, reaching for me.
I can’t even remember when I put him there. Where’s his food?
I hold him in my arms. He hugs me, and I cry harder as he pats my head. He mumbles something, but I can’t understand him.
My only comfort is knowing he won’t remember this. He doesn’t even know why I’m crying.
He won’t know what happened to me.
No one ever will.