CHAPTER 30
Isqueeze the doorknob as if my life depends on it. My heart pounds. If I scream, I’ll wake Finn. If I wake Finn, he’ll cry…
I don’t know if I’ll make it out of this alive.
Fuck—is Finn still in the cot? Did that psycho do something to him?
I turn slowly. Yes. He’s still there, sleeping with his arms outstretched, unfazed. I press my back to the door. Dante sits in a chair beside the cot, legs spread, staring at an empty glass.
“W-what are you doing here?” I whisper.
“I’m babysitting your son. Isn’t that obvious?” He stands and walks toward me. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to fire someone.”
“No!”
He arches an eyebrow. I keep the door closed behind me. If he wants to leave, he’ll have to do it over my dead body. I will not have any more people killed because of his stupid jealousy.
“No?”
“You can’t fire him just because you’re jealous.”
He grins. “Watch me.”
He reaches out his hand, and before he can push me away, I blurt out:
“If you do it, I’m leaving with him.”
You’re so stupid!
He won’t listen otherwise! Do you have a better idea?
Yes! Kill him and get out. You don’t need anyone else!
He stops abruptly; his gaze falters. A lump grows in my throat. How many pleading eyes have those deep blue ones seen? The same hands I once allowed to touch me have hurt other women—and children.
He is not the Dante I knew. He can’t be the same man I spent the other day with or the one who treated Finn so gently.
But he is.
I don’t know what the truth is anymore, and I won’t take any chances if it will hurt my son.
He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.
“You can’t be serious.”
“You can’t keep me here.”
“You don’t know him!”
“I don’t know you either, and I almost married you.”
“Lana—”
“You can’t force me to love you.” My voice cracks. “You can’t force me to stay here if I don’t want to. You have no excuses. I can change my identity. I—”
“You’d rather leave, vita mia?” 18 He leans in, his face almost touching mine. His gaze softens as it meets my eyes in the darkness. “Would you rather go with him than stay here with me?”
No.
“Yes.”
He moves closer still. A shiver ripples through me. His dark eyes, heavy with lust, pin me in place. He licks his lips before a smirk curves across his mouth. My breath hitches; I can’t help but rub my thighs together.
How sick am I, being drawn to a monster like him?
“I’m only looking at you, and you’re already wet,” he murmurs. “Does he turn you on like this too?”
I hate him.
“I don’t—”
“Is that why you want to leave? Because you want to be with him?”
He really can’t tell? “Because I’m scared of you.”
“Why? What did I do to make you fear me, hm?” He narrows his eyes. “Is it that I killed your husband? The man who was abusing you? The same man who bought you as if you were a toy?”
My chest tightens. Tears run down my face. He doesn’t have to remind me of it.
“You’re just like them,” I choke out. “Just like him—same rubbish.”
“Like whom? Your family? Your father?” His voice hardens. “Are we talking about the man who beat you after our first date? The one you begged me to save you from? The one who left you bleeding on the bathroom floor?”
“Like the ones who kidnapped me! You’re like Stefan. I don’t want you near me. You’re disgusting.”
“I’m not a—”
“You’re lying! You’re full of lies!”
He exhales slowly, folding his arms. His hand twitches toward his face but stops, shaking his head instead, brows knitting together.
“I am a murderer,” he says at last, “but I don’t kill innocents. And I don’t kidnap—at least, not randomly.”
“Then why me?”
“Because I’m desperately in love with you! How hard is that to understand?”
Oh, God.
“You’re obsessed!”
He gives a short, humourless snort. “Maybe. But it doesn’t change that I love you.” He is about to cup my cheeks in his hands when he stops and places them on either side of my head instead, holding himself against the wall. “I love you so much; it hurts to watch you do this to us.”
“This?”
“Keeping us apart. Keeping me away. Denying your feelings for me! I’m the only one who hasn’t lied to you, ever, and you can’t even see it because your pride and fear are bigger than your love for me.”
I stare at him, stunned.
“My love for you?” I scoff. “Should I remind you who didn’t attend our wedding? I waited for you for months. I begged for an answer, a message, a letter, anything! You gave me one answer, and it destroyed me. And now you want me to love you regardless of—”
“I can’t believe this,” he cuts in with a snort.
“You fucking ditched me at the altar!” My voice cracks. “You have no idea what I went through because of you!”
“I didn’t ditch you.” His jaw tightens. “And yes, I know everything that happened. I do. Not you.”
“If you knew, why didn’t you do something about it?”
“Because I was tortured when I tried to!”
Everything stops. My lungs seize.
What?
Who?
Finn wakes up crying. I scoop him up, pressing his little body to my chest, hiding my face in his hair.
I’ve lost. He’s going to storm out, kill Angelo, and once again I’ll have to think of a way out of here. Perhaps Javier can help me if—no, he also works for him. Damn it!
Finn stops crying as soon as I start to talk to him. I close my eyes, expecting to hear the door, but there’s just an eerie silence.
Turning around, a bit dizzy, I meet Dante’s eyes. The anger is gone, replaced by a wounded look.
“I got kidnapped, and I didn’t have access to my phone for four months,” he says, exhausted. “It wasn’t me, Lana. I had nothing to do with it.”
“How could you have had nothing to do with it? It was your number. I heard your voice talking to Stefan. I saw pictures—”
“I’ll explain everything, I promise, but not today,” he says quietly. “I need you to trust me this once. Please. I’ll get on my knees. I’ll do anything; just… just say what you need me to do to trust me, and I’ll do it.”
It’s the same thing he said on our first date. I told him I couldn’t bear it if he lied to me, and he promised he wouldn’t. I believed his words. I took his hand and jumped into the void, trusting he’d catch me. Why should I trust again? What if he’s the one selling me out now?
Do it. Trust him.
But—
Do it. Just this once.
“You haven’t… used anyone?”
“No. I have not raped anyone: no man, no woman, no boy or girl. I haven’t laid my hands on anyone but you since I met you five years ago. I told you once, and I will repeat it as many times as you need. I only want you.”
My stomach churns. “I need to know everything… please.”
It’s killing me.
“I know… but not today, sweetheart. I promise I’ll tell you eventually. I’m asking you to trust me unconditionally, as I do.”
“I never lied to you.”
“Neither did I. I love you; I wanted to marry you. I want to marry you. It was not my decision to skip our wedding. I have never told you otherwise; the truth you believe has not come from my lips. I have not broken my word. Everything I’ve done has been for, and because of, you.”
It’s true. He hasn’t said anything. Everything has been because of them…
I sigh. Why can’t I give him everything, even if I want to? “I can’t promise I will.”
“It’s enough if you try.”
“You’re never going to give up?”
“Not even if I die.”
I snort. A small smile escapes him, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“I’ll think about it,” I whisper.
He nods and moves towards the door.
“Now tell me, did Angelo do anything apart from kissing you as if his life depended on it?”
I tense up. “Don’t hurt him.”
He’s getting even more blurry. Does he wear me out so much that now I’m drowsy?
“I have conditions.”
“Anything.”
As soon as the words come out of my mouth, I regret them. He will use it against me. He will ask me to let him fuck me. To get me into his room—
“Stop touching him. Talk to Javier, not Angelo. Stay away, and I won’t fire him. I have a bad feeling, but I need him close to see what’s going on. I don’t want to risk any of you.” He looks at Finn. “Please, do as I say this once.”
My eyebrows shoot up. I nod.
Dante sighs and opens the door.
Finally.
“Buonanotte, amore. Sogni d’oro.”19
When he closes it, I don’t even bother to lock it, although I’m not exactly strong enough right now to do so.
This is the first step to trust him. He could have confessed; there was no reason to keep up the facade. I’ve been in this house for months; Dante hasn’t laid a finger on me; he’s done nothing but spoil Finn...
I really want to believe him, but my mind continues to deceive me, as it always does, and I’m tired of it. It hurts.
My legs are shaking. My body feels heavy, and my eyes flutter shut despite my attempts to keep them open.
I try my best to tuck Finn into bed, but I lack the energy to worry about myself, so I just collapse onto the sheets like a bag of potatoes.
Did I open the windows?
Notes:
18. My life.
19. Goodnight, my love. Sweet dreams.