CHAPTER 39
“Sorry about lunch.”
He growls, “It wasn’t your fault. You were high… but just so you know, I’ll find the bastard and kill him.”
His hands run down my legs.
I roll my eyes, then close them. “You’re an idiot.”
He laughs. “At least I got to take my anger out on Stefan for all the times he put his hands on you.”
“Were you spying on us?”
“Often. I always made sure you were okay. I kept my men close in case you were in danger. Some of them managed to earn Noskov’s trust until I could get you out.”
He runs the water over my head. We’re both in the bathtub. I don’t know how he managed to put so many bubbles in it, but I’m not complaining. It feels good to be like this. I let him soap me thoroughly because I’m too worn out and sore to move.
“So, in addition to being a murderer and a human trafficker, you’re a stalker.”
“Where did you get all that from? Dimmi la verità”29
“My father, Stefan… they showed me pictures and text messages; I even listened to your voice. Angelo confirmed it once again the other day.”
He sighs.
“I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m doing the opposite, sweetheart. I’ve already told you; please don’t insinuate that again.”
I struggle to look at him. “But are you a murderer and a stalker?”
“I’m only stalking you.” He forces a smile. “You cast a spell on me the day I saw you, talking to that little spider in that room.”
Heat rises to my cheeks. “I thought you hadn’t noticed.”
He snorts. “What do you think ‘ragnetta’ means?”
He caresses my breasts and the insides of my thighs. I throw my head back and let out a soft moan. I’ve missed his touch so much—
“How long has it been since someone took such good care of you?” he asks.
“Since my bachelorette party.”
That was our last night together. If I’d known, I would have run away as soon as the sun came up, but he slipped away first.
He left me.
My heart shrinks. He dumped me that day, and I didn’t hear from him for months. He hasn’t given me any explanation whatsoever, and here I am, with my heart beating for him again.
He places his hand on my stomach. I blush.
“I’m sorry about the breeding thing; I got carried away,” he says, rinsing my hair. "If you want, I can take you to start birth control. Tomorrow, I’ll give you the morning-after pill and—”
“Don’t worry about it.”
It’s not like we’re married, so it doesn’t matter. The fear from earlier vanished at that thought.
“So… you do want another child?”
I close my eyes. “Maybe… eventually.”
He nods. “Anyway, think about it. Any method is on the table, even a vasectomy. But nothing that would stop me from feeling your skin against mine—unless you don’t want to take any chances. I can accept that, though I don’t like the idea.”
I smile sadly. I don’t know much about birth control.
Stefan forbade them—said I didn’t need them—even though I didn’t want to get pregnant again.
I calmed a little when I overheard him arguing with his father.
Apparently he had problems after Finn was born; as much as he tried again, he couldn’t because of some medical condition.
“And about Angelo,” his voice interrupts my thoughts, “he was an arsehole. He was giving you drugs; that’s why you didn’t seem to have control of your sex drive. I’m thinking he had something to do with the Noskov bastards.”
A shiver runs through my body. My throat tightens. “Then this—”
“You’re no longer under the effects, sweetheart. This is all you.”
“I don’t know if that should be soothing or embarrassing.”
He kisses my neck. “Soothing, because I feel exactly the same way about you.” He plants another kiss, then pulls away a few inches. “This is all us.” He kisses me again. “When I find that bastard, I’m going to kill him, and I hope you don’t get in the way this time.”
I grimace. “I’ll think about it. It’s not about your—”
“It’s not just because of my jealousy. It’s because he’s a liar, a traitor, and a coward. He fooled me in my own house and took advantage of you; I won’t forgive him for that.”
I sit and brush his face. “What if you’re wrong? What if he was just—”
“He did that. Don’t stand up for him, Lana.”
I shake my head.
“I might have been a little more… heated, but that’s all. He didn’t—I must have asked him to. I thought he was you, but I provoked him—”
“You had the same drug in your system that traffickers use. There’s no consent in that, and he was well aware. He hit you; he almost…”
Like I’ve been punched in the chest, the air leaves my lungs. He stays silent and rubs my back.
“I know... I’ve had it before.” I gulp down the lump in my throat. “But it has to be something else, someone else. I… I couldn’t expect him to react differently if I provoked him, could I?”
The more I justify him, the more stupid I feel.
“If you want to stop, then everything stops. No one—and I mean no one—can be pissed if they keep going, and you say no. If I do, it’s because we have a safe word, but he didn’t.”
“But—”
“We found the pills in his backpack. Javier did, and I trust him with my life. He’s taking care of you, after all.”
I blush.
“Are you—”
“Yes. I’ve known him since he was fourteen, so I’m sure he’s not lying.”
Tears gather in my eyes, and I take a deep breath.
“Then this… it’s—it’s not like I cheated on you, right? I just—”
He kisses my forehead.
“No. We weren’t together, and you didn’t really want it. However, if something like that happens again, I assure you, no matter how much you hate me, the jerk will be fired right away—and, in the worst-case scenario, he or she will probably die too.”
“I doubt I’m going to be with anyone else… To be honest, I didn’t like Angelo at all. He was weird.”
He smiles and leans further into my hand.
“If you think I’ll get rid of you after this, you’re completely wrong. So, unless you come up with some excuse as to why you can’t be with me, I’m hoping we’ll get back on track with our—”
I cover his mouth.
“Let me remind you, you still haven’t told me what happened. You being kidnapped doesn’t explain why you didn’t make it to the wedding, yet you did make it to the reception, or all those messages, or those calls.”
A flash of pain crosses his eyes.
“We’ll talk about that some other time.” He holds my hand and kisses it. “Now, let’s get out of here; it’s late.”
We get out of the bathtub. He sits me on the toilet lid and starts drying my hair with a towel, then with the hairdryer. I close my eyes and let him take care of me.
I hate doing it myself. It takes too long, and it always feels like a waste of time. But right now, I’m exhausted—so exhausted that I seem to drift off for a few seconds.
When we were together, Dante would dry my hair every time I got out of the shower, then braid it better than I ever could. I used to fantasise about him being the father of my daughter, combing her hair—black like his. In my dreams, she had green eyes like my mum’s…
Those fantasies stayed with me every night until I discovered my pregnancy. Everything fell apart afterward. I didn’t want a daughter, nor did I want a son. I knew I would love them regardless, but for that same reason, I didn’t want them to be born into a family as violent as mine.
I still can’t fathom how my mum lives with her children suffering. I would rather die than—
“Will you stay?” he asks, startling me.
“At home?”
“In my room.”
I shake my head. I need to be with Finn.
Once he’s finished drying my hair, he hands me one of his shirts. It’s so big on me, it almost feels like a dress, and that’s all I need to slip back to my room.
As my hand closes over the door handle, Dante’s fingers find my waist. He tugs me back, gently but firmly, turning me until my back presses against the wall—face to face with his tempting lips.
His fingers slide up to my chin, tilting it so my eyes meet his. “What is this?” he whispers, his breath warm against my mouth. “I want to hear it from you.”
Somehow, though my pulse is racing, I manage to match his tone. “Many things have changed these past months. I need answers.”
“I’ll tell you the truth; just give me time… and don’t repeat what you did today with anyone.”
I can’t help a faint smile. “Or what?”
“Or their deaths will be on you,” he says softly. “This is my last warning, sweetheart.”
He kisses me gently. His hands drift down my body, while mine wander over his chest. When he squeezes my arse, I gasp, and the sound turns into a small, nervous laugh.
“If you don’t stop,” I whisper, “I’m afraid you’ll have to take me back to your room.”
He smiles, cradles my cheek with his palm, and brushes his lips against mine once more. “Buonanotte, amore. Sogni d’oro.”
Every time he speaks in Italian, I melt. I missed this so much.
I open the door after Dante walks away and find Greta curled up on the couch, crying over a romantic movie on TV.
“Sorry to interrupt.”
“Oh, Bella!” she says softly, wiping away her tears. “Scusa.30 Il bambino… Finn fell asleep a few minutes ago.”
I hold back a giggle. “Thank you so much for babysitting him,” I reply, glancing at my son. “If I can do anything—”
“Don’t worry. è un bambino adorabile.”31
I smile. Despite the kind of man his father was, he is adorable.
He may have my personality—or at least I want to believe he does—since physically he is nothing like me.
My hair is practically orange; Finn’s is black as coal.
I thought he’d have my green eyes, but his are as blue as two beautiful sapphires.
I’ve seen pictures of myself as a baby, and we look nothing alike. Stefan had pictures of his grandparents at home, and Finn looked like them—but still, there is more resemblance to someone else… Sadly, it’s impossible, no matter how much I want it to be true.
Greta says goodbye and leaves the room, leaving me alone with sound-asleep Finn.
Kissing his dark hair, I lie down beside him.
As much as I want a relationship with Dante, I still have to consider my son’s well-being—and what he allegedly did to me. There will always be the possibility that this is another one of his lies.
Everyone has lied to me; why wouldn’t he?
I want to trust him blindly again, but he hasn’t been able to tell me everything that really happened. There’s no point in him giving me scattered bits and pieces of what’s truly going on with my family—with him.
He wouldn’t hurt us, not directly; at least I know that now. But he comes from a dangerous world, trafficker or not. His hands are stained with blood—innocent or guilty, they were people all the same.
How will I explain to Finn that Dante murdered his father? What will I tell him if he asks about his birth? How will I explain how Dante made me fall in love? Maybe I am a gullible idiot, unwilling to see it. Maybe his charm has made me lose my senses.
Why does this have to be so complicated? Why was I born into my family as a woman? My brothers’ lives are so much easier. They don’t even bother to be faithful to their wives. None of them have been present in their children’s lives.
It’s not that I want to stay away from my son, but they can do whatever they want while I depend on other people’s decisions. I always have, and I’m sick of it. That’s why I won’t give in until I have the whole truth.
It’s the only thing I’m asking from him so we can be together again.
I don’t ask for much.
Only the truth.
Notes:
29. Tell me the truth.
30. Sorry.
31. He's a lovely kid.