CHAPTER 43
No news.
I’m losing my mind.
Two days ago, I dressed a pillow in one of his shirts, but nothing has changed.
This is ridiculous. I can’t be like this just because he hasn’t called. I shouldn’t be afraid. He’s a damned butcher! Everyone fears him!
But what if—
Greta and Javier enter the room. I wipe away my tears. They are both holding a couple of bags.
“I want to let you know, I thought this was a bad idea,” Javier says. “But my sister insisted.”
I frown. Greta laughs. “Dante told her to help him with some things for you. She thinks if you look good, you’ll feel good, so she sent all this.” She holds the bags in the air.
Finn goes to grab one, but Javier places his hand on his forehead before turning his head and guiding him to the carpet. I laugh. He’s treating my son as if he were a little robot.
“There are also things for you,” he says, taking a few packages out of his bag.
“Did Dante send that too?” I ask.
“Just one. My sister sometimes goes on a shopping spree, and nothing can stop her.”
I huff. Greta places everything on the bed in front of me: bottles for my hair, makeup, and clothes I doubt I’ll like.
“Dante told me you hate drying and combing your hair, and you barely take care of it,” she says. “And I know you don’t want to cut it, but we can use products to make it healthy again… do you want to try them?”
“I… I don’t have the time. Finn—”
“Oh, Javier can take care of him.”
“I can do what?” He almost shouts. My son is hitting him on the head with some blocks.
“Let’s go to the bathroom!”
I can’t even reply. Neither can Javier. Greta takes me to my room and sets up everything so we can both be comfortable in the space.
“Javier can watch a kid? Are you sure?”
“If he can’t, he couldn’t be working with my son,” she replies.
I bite my lips. I don’t really feel comfortable leaving Finn alone. “Can we at least leave the door open in case he starts crying?”
“He’s a grown man. Finn won’t be mean to him.”
I can’t help but laugh. Greta opens the door and nods towards the bathroom.
I don’t know how much time we spend inside, just talking while she takes care of my hair. I hear Finn laughing hysterically with Javier, and I stop worrying.
Greta teaches me how to use the hair products, and although I’m grateful, I doubt I’ll ever have time for a proper bath.
“Can I trim a bit of your hair? Just the dead ends. It will grow healthier that way.”
I sigh and nod.
“Just not too much.”
She gives me a reassuring smile.
When we’re done, my hair is almost unrecognisable. I even have my waves back, and its so amazing and soft I don’t want to stop touching it.
“Do you like it?” she asks, giggling.
“I can’t even say how… how grateful I am. God, this is so much better!”
She laughs and starts cleaning the bathroom. I help her too.
“You know, I always wanted a daughter,” she mentions, sweeping my hair off the floor. “I would’ve called her Aurora.”
“You two were really close?”
I know she was her best friend, but I don’t really understand how friendship works. The bond my sister and I had was something entirely different.
“Yes. We were inseparable. I met her at school, and she even gave me some advice so my husband would pay attention to me,” she huffs. “It didn’t work.”
“What happened to her?”
Sighing, she rests against the wall, looking at me through the mirror.
“She got kidnapped when Dante was five. Her husband lost a bet, and they took her in exchange. Francesco found her, and they… they killed her in front of him.”
Oh, God!
“I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
“It’s okay. How could you?” she smiles, continuing to mop. “And don’t feel bad. Her husband got what he deserved. He was an awful father as well. He sold Dante to some Germans.”
“H-he sold Dante?”
Nodding, she continues, “Giacomo got caught up in drugs, casinos, and alcohol. He lost against some bastardos, and they took Aurora. I was heartbroken. His grandmother and I stayed with him. Giacomo used to be away all week and only came back on weekends. It was hell for Dante, so I spoiled him the rest of the week, even when Francesco told me not to, because he would get too accustomed to us, and if anything happened, it would’ve broken him…
I wanted to take him away, but we couldn’t, because after all, he was his father.
“Three years later, he lost another bet. He accumulated an insane amount of debt and told the Germans they could have Dante as payment. It was horrible. We didn’t let them touch him.
That’s when my husband brought us here. We didn’t have this house yet; he had to build it.
We were living in a tiny flat with one room and had to start over, though he took care of everything, of course. Everyone feared him.”
“Your husband? Why?”
Was he also an assassin like Dante? I still can’t quite understand what their job is.
“That’s something Dante will tell you. All I can say, cucciola, is that you won’t regret giving him a chance.”
I sigh.
“I want to.”
“And if he ever lets you down again—because he might, he’s human after all—please, don’t try to kill him. He’s all I have left.”
Her words strike right into my heart. I cover my mouth and nod.
“Is… does he look like his mother?”
She smiles.
“Yes. Everything but his eyes… Her eyes looked like yours, though.”
I blush.
Five minutes later, we head downstairs, where my son is yelling into a microphone. Greta and I laugh. He looks so cute I’m about to melt—until I realise he’s alone.
“Where’s Javier?”
Greta frowns, and we get closer to Finn. He’s sitting on the couch.
“Where’s Javier, cucciolo?” Greta asks.
He points behind him, and we both peek over the couch.
Javier is sitting on the floor, hands covering his ears. He looks up and sighs with relief.
“Please, make him shut up! Throw away that microphone or something!”
Greta and I start laughing hysterically while my son resumes his singing. Javier walks away.
Sadness washes over me when I realise I wish Dante could’ve seen this
My phone rings as I put Finn to bed. I hurry to pick it up, and for a second, my heart feels at ease.
“Dante?”
“Dante? You’re with Dante, Lana?”
Hell. It’s my mum.
“I… Yes?”
I close my eyes and rub my forehead. She sighs.
“Are you both well? Finn and you, I mean. Dante isn’t angry about Stefan?”
“Not with me, at least,” I huff. “We’re okay, Mum. Nothing to worry about.”
After a pause, she asks, “Does he still love you?”
“According to him, yes.”
Mum laughs. “That man is something serious.”
I smile. “He is. I was being a pain in the arse, too.”
Mum huffs on the other end of the line.
“Were you waiting for him to call you?”
“Yes, he… he went on a trip for work a few days ago, and I don’t…” I swallow hard. “I don’t know if he’ll be back.”
“I don’t doubt his abilities, mo chroí, neither should you.”
“I just… I’m scared, Mum.” I brush Finn’s hair. “I’ve been so mean to him because he killed Stefan. Everything they told me… I don’t know what’s true anymore.”
“I know,” she sighs. “Trust him, my dear. It’s the best thing you can do. There’s no one more trustworthy than him, not even me.”
“You’re not?”
“I’ll never forgive myself for allowing… Shite, pet, I’ve got to go.”
Someone slams the door on the other end. Mum hangs up, and I stare at the phone longer than I should.
Allowing what?
My phone rings again, startling me. I don’t know how my sister knows when to call, but she always does it after Mum hangs up.
“Hello! Have you fucked someone lately?”
I blush.
“I’m not discussing something like that with you, Tara.”
She laughs. “You did! Who was it? The bodyguard or your captor?”
I cover my eyes.
“Who do you think?”
“Both of them, hopefully.”
“Tara!”
“I mean it. Maybe even at the same time. Have you ever tried something like that?”
Unpleasant memories hit me, and I wince, rubbing my arms. “I don’t think I’d enjoy that.”
She sighs. “Right. You went through it. I forgot. Sorry.”
We stay silent for a beat.
“I miss him,” I admit.
“Your captor? What happened to all the hate you had for him?”
“I just… I want to trust someone, you know? I did it once, and I—”
“And he broke your heart. You were crying about him for a whole year.”
Right. And now I’m crying again.
“I was in love.”
“Are you still?”
I hug my legs. “I don’t know. How could I love someone who broke me that much? Or someone who sold me? I… I don’t know, Tara.”
She sighs.
“I’ll tell you something… No, Imogen, leave!” she shouts to someone in her room. “God, that girl is so annoying. Where was I? Right! Look, if Dante did anything wrong, it was trusting our father.”
“What? You know him too?”
“Not personally, but I’ve heard of him… and I also heard he’s missing, and since you miss him, I assume you’re with him, right?”
“He’s not missing,” I argue.
She laughs.
“Then you are with him. I’m glad.”
I groan.
“Just spit it out!”
“I don’t know him, but I know my father and people like him. Dante wouldn’t side with him unless he wanted something, and he’s not the type of man who would sell or buy another human being. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Do you… do you know if he was kidnapped?”
“I’m not sure, Lana.” She sighs. “But I know for a fact that you deserve him. I know he’s not like our father or any man who was willing to marry you. Trust me.”
Everyone tells me to trust them, but no one gives me the whole truth!
“I don’t want to get hurt again.”
“I know. No one wants to, but that’s life. Life hurts, and we can’t do anything about it but live it.”
“Well, when you have a son, that’s not something you can afford.”
Silence sets in between us.
Bloody hell. I’ve messed up again.
“Thanks, sis.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.”
“Tara, wait—”
She hangs up, and I press the phone to my forehead.
She lost two baby girls, and she’s always been bitter about it. One, because they were girls—everyone wanted boys—and two, because the second died while she was breastfeeding her. Mum says she thinks I’m perfect because I even had a son on my first try. This was like rubbing it in her face.
We’ve both been through so much…
I wish someday we could be together again, the three of us, like before I was kidnapped.
I miss them, even when Tara got mad at me just for existing. She always ended up in my bed, cuddling. She hated sleeping alone, and so did I.
Those were the only nights where my father didn’t touch me.