CHAPTER 63
“Time for bed, little monster,” I sing song, dressing Finn in a plane pyjama. He’s so big it almost doesn’t fit. I’m amazed at how quickly babies grow.
We lie on Dante’s bed while he drinks milk and I scroll through my phone, waiting for a text or a call from him, but as the hours pass, there is nothing. He went out after breakfast, and I haven’t heard from him.
At three in the morning, I’m tempted to text him, but I decide not to.
No, Lana, he’s not dead; there must be traffic or his phone is dead, but not him.
After tucking Finn next to me, I close my eyes, but I can’t fall asleep.
I hit the pillow over and over until it’s comfy.
I check the windows, the clock, and my phone, but nothing gets me to sleep.
I’m tired, drained. Javier insisted I needed to stretch after training, but I wanted a bath.
A warm bath that was supposed to relax me enough to sleep fast. Whoever said that worked was a liar.
A loud thud startles me. I reach for Finn, but he is no longer beside me. I sit up and look around.
Dante lies on the mattress, motionless; his eyes stare open, his jaw slack. His bright blue eyes are now dark and empty.
Nothing.
“Sweetheart, you’re okay…” a voice says.
This must be some kind of horrible prank. It can’t be real.
I reach out and touch his cheek; a tear slips from his face, but he doesn’t breathe. He’s cold and—
A hand yanks my arm. As I turn around, I look at my father with a wicked smile, his face covered in blood. “Hallo, püppchen.”
I pull away, stumbling over Dante’s body, and when I check on him, Finn is there, cradled in Dante’s arms. The only thing attached to his little body is his head.
Both of them are soaked in blood, their eyes wide and empty.
Dead.
I can’t hear my own screaming, nor can I move. Everything drags, as though I’m trapped in slow motion.
My baby. He doesn’t—
“I had so many plans for your child,” my father says. “But now it seems there’s only you.”
Next to him, my mother stares at the floor. Her ginger hair veils her face. All she can do is hide her shame.
Someone else grabs me by the hair. I still can’t react, though it hurts. A hand trails up my body. I look down; I’m completely naked. Someone is beneath me, coming in and out, though I can’t feel him. I’m numb.
I scream, but my father covers my mouth. I try to hit him, but my wrists are tied on my back. My mum is chained to a wall, and Dante and Finn’s bodies lie in a corner of the basement.
I try to fight; I don’t care if I die. I have no reason to keep going.
I’ve lost them both.
“Lana…”
My father touches me as he did when I lived under his roof.
“Ragnetta, wake up.”
Finn is dead. I’ve lost my baby. His blue eyes are empty, just like his father’s, and I couldn’t do a thing to keep them safe.
“Amore…”
I take a deep breath and sit upright.
Dante is in front of me, tired. He’s holding a frightened Finn in his arms, who throws himself at me as soon as I look at him.
Crying, I hug them both. Dante holds me as if his life depends on it, and I do the same, closing my eyes tightly.
“It was a nightmare,” he whispers in my ear. “We’re okay.”
I nod. I can’t stop crying. For a moment, I lost them both. It felt too real. They took them from me.
“You… yesterday, you didn’t—”
“I arrived in the morning.” He kisses my temple. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t think it would take so long.”
I shake my head.
Finn is okay.
Dante is okay.
My father is still out of the picture, and he won’t bother me again.
Dante doesn’t leave my side for a few minutes. I don’t want him to. The nightmare was so real that this feels like a dream I would escape to if I were living a torture like that.
“We’re okay.” He repeats it over and over.
But for how long?
I wake up startled, gasping. I look around the room after turning on the light; my heart pounds hard and fast.
There’s no baby in sight. Where—
“He’s sleeping,” Dante whispers. “He’s okay.”
“How—”
He shows me the baby monitor. Finn is sound asleep in his cot, hugging a plushie.
I sigh. I’m not used to not sleeping with him, let alone with Dante by my side. It’s nice; I love it, but I miss my baby.
“Did he wake up?”
“Yes, but I went to see him so you could sleep a little longer. He’s okay.”
I turn off the light, snuggle up against his chest, and close my eyes.
“I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“I couldn’t sleep. It’s not your fault.”
“You’re having trouble again?”
He smiles against my head and rubs my back. “I just like watching you. I’m not used to sleeping next to a goddess.”
Heat rises to my cheek, and I hit him on the back. He just laughs.
We’ve been sleeping together for almost two weeks, I think.
We fixed the old room so it’s just Finn’s.
Now it’s full of colour; we even painted the walls pastel blue, almost white.
I never thought I could be this happy and calm with someone…
though, of course, after all I’ve been through, it’s a bit complicated not to think negatively now and then.
It’s been getting worse lately, since tomorrow is my birthday and my mum hasn’t reached out to me.
“You want to stay awake?” he whispers in a husky voice.
“No. And no more sex! You have to sleep too.”
He huffs. “You’re not the only one who has nightmares.”
I look up, though I can’t make out his face because of the lack of light in the room. “Sleeping pills aren’t working?”
He shakes his head. “I’m not taking them. You help me sleep, but there’s something else keeping me awake.”
“What is it?”
“Work stuff. Nothing to worry about.”
I sigh and close my eyes. “Whenever I couldn’t sleep, Mum told me to picture something I really liked. I used to picture food, so I slept starving, but it worked… for a while.”
“And what happened?”
“I got kidnapped.” His embrace tightens around me. “After that, I couldn’t even close my eyes. I felt I couldn’t be safe in my own room because, as much as I wanted to push away bad memories, they came back over and over again… I wasn’t safe even in my own place.”
Ever since Dante told me everything, I think my father may have had something to do with it, but I don’t want to assume.
“It’s all over now. No one can hurt you here. Never again.”
I shake my head. He can’t promise something like that, but if I have him, I’m okay with it.
I smile, looking up to kiss him. I rub the scar over his lip.
“Let’s sleep. You must be exhausted.”
I snuggle up again, hiding my face in his neck.
“Buonanotte, amore.”