23. Roxie
ROXIE
Never gonna happen.
Two months later…
“I’m fine.”
Rae’s shout reaches me from across the room and over the music. I glance in her direction and see her trying to pull her empty glass from Mark’s hands. He’s running the bar tonight, and Rae is, well, doing the same thing she’s been doing since Saint’s funeral… getting wasted.
I don’t blame her. Saint was her entire world. She lived and breathed for him, and he for her. I can’t imagine what she’s going through. Fuck, Screamer and I have only been together for a month, sort of, and losing him would break me in ways that shouldn’t be possible. Rae and Saint had years .
“Hey, Rae,” I say when I reach her side. “Why don’t we go sit down?”
She slaps my hands away. “I don’t wanna sit. I wanna drink.”
Which is why I’m here. Shuffle asked me to return to the LTMC clubhouse to help with her because none of them knew what to do. The truth is, there’s nothing anyone can do but listen and be there when she crashes. Because she will crash.
There will come a day when Rae wakes up sober, and her loss will shatter her all over again. For now, though, she’s content to drink her pain away, and I’m content to let her… to a degree.
“I know you do,” I say gently. “I’m not asking you to stop drinking.”
“Oh.” She pouts. “Tell him that then,” she said, pointing at Mark.
“Mark, get her another drink, please,” I order, then silently mouth, “Water.”
Rae is so far gone that she won’t notice the difference. Impossible to comprehend that level of intoxication, but trust me. She’s found it.
“You got it, Rox.”
He fills a glass with water and ice before handing it to me.
“C’mon, Rae,” I urge, leading her to the couch. She tries to veer toward the juke box, but I hold her steady. “I’ll find something to play, okay?”
“‘Kay.”
Rae flops onto the sofa, leaning her head against the back. Her eyes close, and it’s only minutes before she’s softly snoring. I take the glass of water from her hand before it spills and carry it back to the bar.
“I hate seeing her like this,” Mark comments.
“You and me both.”
“Is there anything I can do? Other than serving her copious amounts of booze?”
I smile sadly and shake my head. “No. She’ll work her way through this in her own way and her own time.”
“Okay.” He dumps the water in the sink. “Can I get you anything to drink?”
“Nah, I’m good. I’ve gotta work in the morning.”
“How’s the new job going?”
A month after Screamer informed me that I’d be under lock and key, I told him that I was going job hunting.
At first, he argued, but I reminded him that Jace hadn’t done anything since Saint, and through conversations with Sammie, Melody, and Greg, we were able to confirm that he was back at the home he and I shared and had been seen out with several different women.
The Soulless Kings’ and Limitless Throttle MCs had reconvened and agreed that, while Jace was still out there, the threat he posed was considerably less with him in a different state.
“It’s great,” I reply, grinning.
I started working at a local domestic violence shelter as a peer counselor and am taking night classes for a degree in psychology. This isn’t the path I thought I’d be on, but life had other plans. I love the new plan, though.
“Good, I’m glad.”
“Hey, um, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” I begin. “Have you talked to Seth lately?”
The night Saint beat the shit out of him, Seth had been banned from the club. He’d only been a prospect, so that’s the worst punishment he received.
Mark shakes his head. “Nope. Figured no good could come from talking to him. I love Limitless Throttle and really want to earn my patch. That won’t happen if I interact with someone banned.”
“True enough,” I agree.
Mark reaches across the bar and rests his hand on top of mine. There’s no spark, no hint of anything beyond the friendship we’ve developed.
“I really am sorry about that night, Rox,” he says solemnly.
I smile. “You’ve apologized a million times. It’s fine, Mark. Really. Let it go because I have.”
He releases a pent-up breath. “Thanks.”
“Get your hands off my woman.”
I whirl around to see Screamer striding toward me. He and I come and go from each clubhouse as we please, and it’s nice seeing him so comfortable in both locations.
“Leave him alone,” I chide even as Mark pulls his hand away.
“Didn’t mean any disrespect,” Mark says.
Screamer laughs. “It’s fine, kid. I was just yanking your dick.”
Mark cups his crotch. “Yeah, no,” he says, scrunching his nose.
“You know what I mean.”
“I do. Still… no.”
“Fine, don’t take a joke.” Screamer practically dismisses Mark and settles his mouth over mine for a toe-curling kiss. “How was your day, sweetheart?”
“It was good,” I tell him. “I was able to secure housing for that mother and her three kids in another state. Linda is driving them to the new location tomorrow, which means that bastard husband of hers won’t be able to find her again.”
“That’s great.”
“It really is.” I glance across the room at Rae. “She’s passed out again.”
Screamer follows my line of sight and sighs. “Yo, Mark,” he says without looking at the prospect. “Mind carrying her to her room?”
“No problem.”
Suddenly, I’m lifted off my feet and slung over Screamer’s shoulder. “And I’m gonna carry you to your room, sweetheart.”
I laugh and hit him in the back, pretending to put up a fight. He only swats my ass, sending a delicious tingle to spread to my pussy. Entering my room, he kicks the door shut and tosses me on the bed.
“I’m gonna ravish you,” he taunts, and I watch greedily as he takes his clothes off.
“I’m all for it,” I admit. “But first, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
He groans. “Can it wait?” Cock in his hand, he gives it a few sharp tugs.
I shake my head. There was a time, right after Jace, I wouldn’t have stood my ground, but I know with Screamer, I can, and he won’t be mad.
“Okay.” He lets go of his dick and crawls onto the mattress to sit beside me. “What’s up?”
“Things have been good lately, right? Like, really good?”
He brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “Absolutely.”
“And we’re pretty sure Jace is no longer an issue since we know he’s not in Texas.”
“Pretty sure, yes, but not a hundred percent.”
I wave a hand dismissively. “As long as he’s breathing, we’ll never be a hundred percent. But I can’t live my life in fear forever.”
“No, you can’t.”
“So, I’ve been thinking…”
“Uh-oh,” he teases.
I slap him playfully, rolling my eyes. “I wanna invite Greg, Sammie, and Melody for a visit.”
Screamer seems to ponder a moment before nodding. “Go for it.”
“Really?”
“Sweetheart, they’re your friends. I’m good with whatever you want to do.” He pauses and frowns. “Unless you tell me you wanna go back to Jace. Then we’d have a problem.”
“Never gonna happen.”
“I know. But yeah, give ‘em a call and plan something. We can host them at my clubhouse. There’s plenty of space. I know you guys are short on rooms here now that Rae’s moved in.”
The reminder of Rae douses some of my good mood, but I refuse to let it completely ruin my happiness. I love Rae and am here for her, but not at the expense of myself.
“I’ll give ‘em a call in the morning.” I thread my fingers through his hair and pull his head down, so my lips are inches from his. “But first, I believe you had something different in mind when you carried me in here.”