2. Tomorrow
I’ll Carry Today . . .
When I got the call over four months ago from a community organization that they wanted me to bless one of the walls in the city with one of my original mural pieces, I was honored. I had built my career as a muralist, graphic designer, and children book illustrator, for times like these.
After I gained custody of my brother and sister, I received an outpouring of love from people. The story was picked up by the local news station, and donations rolled in to help us. That was a blessing and helped us not struggle as badly as we could have.
I thought that I would have to forego my desire to go to college.
When I was nineteen years old, through tuition reimbursement, grants, and scholarships, I was able to get a full ride to Augusta University where I graduated with a Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) in Art with a concentration in drawing and painting.
I also minored in graphic design and animation.
While I was in college, I still worked at the call center full-time. It was hard, but I made it work.
To make extra income while I was in school, I sold commission paintings, illustrations for children’s books, and painted murals for different clients.
My name really got out there, and it was up from there.
Eventually, I started to volunteer at a youth center in my neighborhood.
They allowed me to start an art program.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that art was a tool that could be used to heal trauma with our youth.
There were so many kids who found happiness and peace in the stroke of a brush or the lines created by a pencil. The combination of that fact and the words that Judge Sharon Black imparted on me those few years ago was the spark that birthed my organization Scribbled Excellence.
I was so proud of the work that my organization had done over the years. The partnerships, sponsors, parents, and children made it a success. I’d attended graduations, art shows, and everything in between to support my babies. It felt like I had a ton of them, and I loved it.
Excitement did not begin to explain how I felt when I was commissioned to create this mural.
I asked if they wanted anything specifically, and all they said was love.
That was such a broad topic, and I had a ton of directions that I could have gone.
It wasn’t until they gave me the date that they would be unveiled that I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
The first day that I came out to work on my mural, my mind was blown to see the Danielle Goings on a wall across from mine.
This woman was a G.O.A.T in the artistic community.
The impact that she had on our community was one of a kind.
I completely fan girl’d when I approached her.
I was sure that I embarrassed myself, but I didn’t give a damn.
During the process of creating our murals, she taught me so much.
One thing that she did that I never knew was a part of her process was she only worked on certain portions of her mural during the day.
The parts that she worked on were for the benefit of the sunlight.
There were certain paints that reflected off the sunlight such as metallic, pearlescent white, interference paints, and reflective glass-bead coatings.
She found it more beneficial to paint them during the day, and she painted the other portions at night under a light that was provided under our covering tarp.
It made so much sense to do it that way. It also relieved the pressure of the work because there was a gap in the timing of when you worked. After the first few days, I followed her painting schedule to keep her company and learn. It was the best time ever.
My smile was bright as the host spoke of me with such high regard. I often didn’t think about all the work that I had done within the community and my impact. The things that I did, I did from the heart. It did feel great to know that my efforts were seen and felt.
“Tomorrow, come up here and tell us about your awesome mural.” Dominique, the host’s, smile was wide. Our murals were on walls that were owned by him on the sides of two of his businesses.
Between the walls was a very nice courtyard and open grass area where people could come to relax. There were tables, chairs, gazebos, and even a play area for the kids. This was for the community. I could foresee community events here.
I stood with pride and looked out at the crowd.
My heart warmed at the sight of my brother and sister.
My brother, August, was on a break from where he attended college at Morehouse in Atlanta, Georgia.
I was so fucking proud of him. My sister, Tuesday, was a junior at Riverdale Art Academy.
The art bug bit her when she was around nine.
She loved to draw, but her real talent was sculpting.
“Hi, everyone! Thank you for coming out. It’s such an honor to be here today to unveil a mural that I think means more to me than any mural that I have ever done. On this day, ten years ago, Judge Sharon Black banged a gavel that changed my life.”
I smiled at the sight of her in the crowd.
She had a continued impact on the life of my family.
It was because of her influence and network that I was able to get the building that my organization occupied.
There was a mural on the wall as you enter that I painted of her as a dedication to how she’d changed my life.
I took a breath, then continued. “The bang of her gavel meant that I officially was the guardian of my brother, August, and my sister, Tuesday.
I was only eighteen years old at the time.
I was a kid myself that was pushed into adulthood way before my time.
On that day, I made a promise to myself and my siblings that I would always carry them, no matter what it cost. I would love them, protect them, nurture them, and give them a safe place to grow into who they are meant to be.
“I created this mural in that light. It represents the sacrifice, protection, and love that not only came from me, but many others that attached themselves to my family. It was their willingness to offer their resources, network, and love that made it easier for me to be able to carry my siblings with less worry and stress. It was because of them that I was able to carry today so that my brother and sister could have tomorrow. I present to you my mural, I’ll Carry Today. ”
As the veil fell from the mural, so did my first tear.
It was a tear of accomplishment, pride, and love.
I worked so hard on this piece and spent many nights under my tarp with tears as the weight of it all sat on my shoulders.
I glanced at my siblings for a moment to gauge their reaction.
Tears cascaded down Tuesday’s cheeks while pride rested on August’s face.
This was the first mural that I painted that told the story of us.
The shades of gold, deep indigo, and midnight purple bled into each other like memories of our childhood that were unforgettable.
In the center of the mural was a younger version of me, August, and Tuesday embraced in a tight hug.
Tuesday was in the center of the hug because not only was I her protector, but so was August. We stood there strongly in our circle of fortitude, prepared to take on the world as only we could.
Behind us was a gold, textured circle. The different shades of gold gave it the texture.
On the edge of the circle, painted in looping script were the words, “I’ll carry today .
. . so you can have tomorrow.” My mural was more than art .
. . it was my story. It was about me becoming a mother at eighteen years old without having birthed a child.
It was about how I chose to continue to protect my siblings when no one asked or forced me to.
I was a fucking warrior, and no one gave me a damn sword.
My eyes stared at the words that I painted on the jacket that I wore in the mural.
I had to grow up a little so you could stay a kid a little longer.
That was my goal every day as I raised them.
I wanted them to have the opportunity to do some of the things that I couldn’t.
It wasn’t that I tried to make up for the things that my parents didn’t do for them. I just wanted them to have more.
On the right, top side of the mural were large hands that formed a shelter or covering over two children who sat on the top of a hill as the sun set.
I made sure that the city skyline was in view.
This portion of the mural represented God’s promise in Psalm 27:5.
“For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.” God did that!
There were so many days that I did want to give up, but God covered us.
He took the time to hide me and my siblings in His safe place for protection.
Under that image was an image of a young boy with a backpack on.
Behind him was a little girl that clutched onto his backpack tightly.
They walked through the city together. This image was a representation of my brother’s leadership.
Yes, I was the oldest, but there were times when I needed the load lifted, and he did it in subtle ways that were second nature.
There were days that I rushed home to cook for them, and when I got there, not only was dinner already cooked, but the house was completely cleaned.
One thing about August Jason Bennett was that he could cook his ass off.