Chapter 22
KYLER
Good experiences don’t purify me, but they help cover the old. The last time someone had been in my slit, I’d been waterboarded and violated. I was too young to understand it was wrong. But this time, it’s my choice.
I love being in the water with Gavin. My heart misses swimming with others—last time was with my parents.
But all good things come to an end. Clutching the pearls, I see Gavin’s eyes widen as he points to the surface.
Thankfully, we aren’t too deep, so I wrap my arm around him and push him topside as fast as I can.
Gavin coughs and sputters as his gills sink back into his skin. By the position of the sun, he’s had gills for about two hours—not a lot of time. He gasps as his body pushes the water from his lungs, just like mine does.
“How was it?” I ask once he settles.
“Are you okay?” He brushes hair from my face.
“I’m fine. But seriously, how was it for you? Aside from the—” I wave my hand around. “—part of clearing your lungs.”
“Amazing.”
I lift a brow.
“Okay, it was terrifying, but once I could breathe again, it was amazing. Thank you.” He pulls me closer and presses a perfect kiss to my lips.
“Now we should head back to the ship, and I wasn’t thinking about how we’d get you shifted.
Do you need sand on your tail, or does anywhere work?
Have you shifted while still in the water? ”
“Vex told me I needed sand on my tail and head, but I’ve never tried without scrubbing a bit on my tail.” Because I’m too afraid to see how many lies Vex has told me over my life.
“What if we try a new way? Your parents’ journal mentioned they just needed sand, not that it had to be rubbed into your tail or hair. Maybe if you just hold a handful, it could work?”
“I’ll try.” It’ll be better than shifting on the deck of the ship with an audience while I slowly suffocate. “But for now, let’s head back. Wrap your legs around my waist so you don’t hinder my tail.”
Gavin laughs, and I can’t help but smile. “I guess I’ll be riding a merman today.”
“Fastest way to make it to the ship.” I shrug, unashamed that I just want to show off.
I present my back, and Gavin wraps his arms under my shoulders to keep from choking me, his long legs locking around my waist.
“Like this?”
“Perfect.” Though his heels might end up making me come if they rub against me too much.
I have to swim at the surface, but I can’t stop the waves from crashing into him, causing him to sputter.
“Sorry. Try to angle your head to the side. Relax.”
I speed through the water, still hearing the drone of the ship ahead. It hasn’t gotten too far from us, thankfully. I love Gavin’s weight on my back, love the feel of companionship. The desire for each of us to learn from each other.
“I think I do want you to teach me how to read. If the offer still stands.”
Gavin shifts his hold. “I’d love that.”
I nod. “Good. I don’t think I’m a very good student, though. So prepare yourself.”
The ship looms in the distance, and I decide it’s time to show off. I sprint, using hand over hand to get there faster. Gavin clings to me, digging painfully into my ribs, but I don’t care.
When we reach the ship, we ring the bell Captain Basil rigged for us to signal our return. I can’t leave the water without shifting, not unless I want to suffocate.
Basil’s head pops over the rails. “Ah! You’re back.”
“We need a bit of sand,” Gavin says. “Can you send some down?”
“One moment.” Basil disappears.
Some of the crew lean over the rails to leer at me. I’m not sure how to endear myself to them after what I’ve done in the past. I can’t just hide in Gavin’s quarters, either. I have to come up with something to smooth the way. But how?
Soon Basil lowers himself in a rowboat with a small cup of sand.
“Hope this is enough.”
“Thank you.” I take the cup and insist Gavin climb into the boat with Basil.
From above, Damon tosses Gavin a silk robe. “Really, Gavin, you don’t need to show your cock to everyone.”
Gavin snorts. “Like he’s one to talk.” But he dresses.
Basil waves towards the cup in my hand. “What are you waiting for?”
Gavin gasps and turns to Basil. “You’ve seen merfolk shift to human, haven’t you?”
“Aye. Not pretty though. I feel for them.”
“Sea folk like Kyler need sand.”
“Correct,” Basil agrees.
“But do they need to rub it all over? Or—”
Basil cocks a brow. “I—”
“I don’t know how to be mer properly.” I give Basil a rundown of my experience.
“Ah, so the predicament is, do you need to rub it into your tail? I’d say no.
And I don’t think you need all that much sand either.
My friends used to wear watertight pendants that held only a small amount of sand, and they’d sprinkle it in their hands or hair.
Usually, they’d shift while still in the water to keep the cleanup easy. ”
I can’t contain my excitement. I pinch a bit of sand from the cup and sprinkle it on my hair while willing my merform back.
The experience isn’t any less painful, and I cling to the rowboat like it’s a lifesaver. Once I expel the seawater from my lungs, the two men pull me into the rowboat. Damon drops another robe to us, and I dress before we reach our destination.
“Thank you, Basil,” Gavin says when I can’t find my voice.
I’ll have to find myself a watertight pendant when I’m free. I can travel with much less sand now that I know.
“We’re getting ready to eat. How about the two of you join us? Maybe share a few tales.” Basil looks right at me. Maybe he’s right. If I share—even just a tiny bit—maybe the crew will understand me better.
Basil leads us to the main deck where Ailey herself is holding court with her own stories. Once Gavin and I make an appearance, her audience shifts their focus, eyes full of anger. What can I say?
The last person I want to talk to saunters up to us. Jessi’s short red hair is braided, her slightly pointed ears riddled with more silver and gold than before. Her shirt is more provocative than usual, and I have to wonder what her game is.
“How was the swim, boys?” Jessi asks.
I glare, and she gives me a smile before focusing on Gavin.
“Kyler and I go way back,” she starts, which catches the attention of others.
“Not really, less than a handful of years.”
“True, but it feels like a lifetime, doesn’t it?” She clamps a hand on my shoulder and brings me closer to whisper, “We need to talk. Meet me tonight after your dragon goes to sleep.”
Gavin’s huge arm goes around my waist. “Kyler didn’t say he had a friend on board.” He grins, obviously not reading the situation correctly.
“Acquaintance,” I say stiffly.
“You wound me. I thought we were close. You saved me from drowning a few years back. I owe you—”
“You owe me nothing.” I don’t know what game she’s playing at, but I don’t want to be a part of it. “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t taunt me the entire journey.”
“Oh, you know me. We’ll be friends again in no time.”
“If you say so,” I mumble. But I don’t believe it. There’s nothing Jessi can do or say that will make me trust her again. But I have to know what she wants to tell me in private, even if it’s a dumb idea.
After our swimming adventure, food, and another few rounds in bed, I’ve thoroughly exhausted Gavin.
He sleeps soundly, and I slip out of his hold with great reluctance.
I’d rather stay with him than speak privately with Jessi, but she promised it’d be worth my time.
I walk on tiptoes and shut the door gently.
“Where are you off to?” Damon asks.
“Just need to stretch my legs. Can’t sleep.”
Damon cocks a brow. “You can’t sleep? After…” He waves his hand around. “All that?”
I have to wonder how far our sounds have reached. “I can still probably go another few rounds before I’m wrung out.” I give him a smile. How do I keep Damon from following? But do I really need privacy with Jessi? “Will Gavin be okay alone?”
“He’s not the one I’m worried about with this rowdy group. You are. And Gavin told me to keep my eyes on you. I won’t let you out of my sight if Gavin’s not with you.”
I nod, resigned to the fact I have a shadow. “Thank you, but…” How do I put this? “You might not think highly of me after tonight.”
Damon shakes his head. “You’ve done what you had to.”
I snort. “Not always. Sometimes I do things that are unnecessary to my survival just because I want to.”
Damon takes it in stride. “Don’t we all?”
I lead the way, hoping to find Jessi sooner rather than later. Luckily, she’s waiting for me. She takes me to the hold below, then behind barrels of supplies, and hops on top of one.
“Sit.”
“I’d rather stand,” I say.
“Fine. Fine.” Jessi rolls her eyes. “And you can come out from hiding, Damon. I know you’re there.”
Damon follows directions, keeping his hand on his sword. Jessi rolls her eyes again. “I just want to explain myself.”
“Why? You made it very clear the last time we were together you would use me to get what you wanted. I’m guessing that you did.”
“Aye. Yes. That. Of course, I used my information you stupidly gave up. That’s why Vex beat you so badly before he let you go for shore leave.”
A strangled noise comes from Damon, and I ignore it.
“Thanks.”
Jessi’s eyes flash with unfamiliar anger. “Don’t be so ungrateful.”
“Ungrateful? I’m guessing you’re here because Vex wants to keep track of me. Wants to make sure I follow through with giving him the stone instead of Gavin.”
Damon growls, and I can’t look at him.
“You’re true on all accounts. Vex promised me freedom as soon as he has the stone in his hands. I’m here to make sure you don’t fuck me with your stupid emotions.”
Stupid emotions. It’s true; I’m letting my feelings for Gavin fog my brain. But what a pleasant fog it’s been.
“You don’t have to worry about that. Gavin knows this is all for show. He came up with the silly idea of us being pair-bonded. He’s been obsessed with merfolk his entire life. How fucking pathetic.” I swallow hard. The words pain me as soon as I say them.
“Indeed.” Jessi eyes me. “I have a bit of information that will help you with the stone. Vex said there’s a trick to retrieving it, and that’s why no one’s been successful in all these years.”
“How would he know?” Damon interrupts.
I want to ask, but I’m too afraid of the answer.
Jessi snorts as she laughs. “He’s the most powerful creature in the realms, but his soul is bound to the sea as punishment for pissing off the sea god.
He’s only allowed on land on the new moon.
He’s older than old. Ancient.” Her laugh turns bitter, and she looks right into my eyes.
“The stone requires a true sacrifice. Something the retriever can’t bear to live without. ”
My heart drops to my feet.
“That’s doable.”
I whip around at the familiar voice to find Gavin standing next to Damon.
“It will be the most painful decision of your life,” Jessi says. “I wish you luck because if you can’t retrieve it…” Her shoulders drop, and all her malice drains away. “Kyler and I are dead. Or worse.”
“What’s worse than dead?” I whisper, though I’m sure I’ve lived through worse.
“Becoming a revenant,” Damon answers. “An undead thing. It’s what the necromancers were known for during the war.”
Jessi shivers. “I’d rather be sold to a brothel.”
“Come back to bed.” Gavin holds his hand out for me.
“Enjoy the prince while you can, Kyler. Who knows what the future holds?”
In that moment, I hate Jessi. I wish I’d beaten her that day and brought the jewel to Vex myself. I should have fought harder. Should have chased her instead of giving up.
Gavin lifts my chin. “Everything will be fine.”
“You can’t possibly know that.”
“I thought you lived in the now, so you didn’t think about anything else.”
“Don’t use my words against me,” I mumble just as Gavin lifts me into his arms. “Let’s go back to bed and worry about things tomorrow.”
I nuzzle into the prince and let him carry me back to bed. But this time, my mind won’t be quiet, and sleep won’t come.