Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Flustered but with a singular mission, Nora took off for the table she’d just run away from to explain herself to Max and Mona. She threw her arms around Max and warbled in his ear, “I have to go. Paul’s back. He’s here.” It was as if Mona had called for him.
Max squeezed her tighter. “Go! You have to go!”
Nora fell back, reaching for Mona’s hand. Mona squeezed it. “We’ll catch up better later. Max invited me to come to Nantucket. I think I’ll bring my kids! They need to learn to sail.”
“We’ll teach them everything about being islanders,” Max said, beaming up at Nora, who was already shoving her arms into her light jacket. “But we’ll talk about that later. Go! Go!”
Nora sped to the elevator and shot down into the night.
In the first cab she hailed, she shook so violently that she thought her knees were going to knock together and break.
She worried that she’d imagined all this, that she’d reach the home she’d once shared with Paul and Isaac and find Isaac with a new girlfriend, drinking wine and listening to their old records.
It was surreal to be dropped off at the apartment they’d bought so many years ago.
On the front stoop stood the same doorman who’d helped her carry Paul’s stroller inside, day after day, until he’d been too big for it.
Stanford recognized Nora immediately, crying out, “Nora Winston! As I live and breathe! It’s you!
” He broke protocol by hugging her. Nora wanted to weep.
She couldn’t believe it was all still here.
“Paul just came in,” Stanford said excitedly. “He and Isaac are upstairs. Isaac told me to expect you, but I didn’t know what to believe.” His face was hollow. “I was terribly upset when you two broke things off. I’m sorry it all had to happen like that.”
Nora squeezed Stanford’s shoulder before she fled past. “It happened because it happened,” she said, because there was no other reason for it. “Thanks for always being so kind, Stan.”
Once in the elevator, Nora tried to fix her hair and makeup in the mirror.
She looked like a woman on the brink of total euphoria or panic, or a little bit of both.
When the elevator doors opened, she rushed out, strolling to the door she’d entered thousands upon thousands of times.
But when she reached it, she realized with a jolt that she no longer had a key.
All the blood rushed to her stomach. She was so close. But she couldn’t move forward. She’d given away the key to her life.
Then she heard her son and her ex-husband laughing together.
Something she hadn’t heard in years. It yanked her back through time, back before the harrowing months of Cleo’s diagnosis, back when they’d expected the best and brightest days.
She knew she was going to cry again. Before she got especially messy, she rang the bell and listened to Isaac’s familiar footfalls as he approached to greet her.
When the door opened wide, Nora was given a full view of Paul.
He stood in the kitchen, tall and gaunt, with a mess of black curls over his ears.
He looked like her Paul, albeit slightly broken and worn.
His jeans had holes in the knees, and his T-shirt was wrinkled and mussed.
There was a backpack in the corner, one that had clearly contained the contents of his life for the better part of a year. But Nora didn’t care about any of that.
She rushed down the hall and into the warmth of her abandoned house, where she hugged her son, closing her eyes as she smelled the smells that were both his and not. He smelled like buses, trains, and airplanes. He smelled like fried food and fresh salty air.
“You’re here,” she whispered. “You’re here.”
When she pulled back, she gazed into her son’s eyes. Isaac had closed the door behind them, banishing the rest of the world. He poured her a mug of her favorite tea, beaming at her from the other side of the kitchen.
Paul pulled his fingers through his hair. “I heard that you’re not here,” he said finally.
Nora bowed her head. She wasn’t sure how to face the fact of their divorce, how she’d known it would disappoint Paul when he found out. But everything had happened the way it was meant to.
“I told him it’s all right,” Isaac said, handing over her tea and winking. “I told him a little about your new life in Nantucket. But you’ll have to tell us more about both. It’s magical.”
Nora’s heart lifted. “It is magical,” she repeated. She was surprised Isaac had used that word.
They went into the living room, which was still mostly decorated the same as it was when Nora moved out.
Nora pressed Paul for details about his life, so he told them bits and pieces.
He’d spent time in Italy, Germany, Switzerland, and Spain.
He’d fallen in love with a woman halfway through his time abroad but had panicked and broken things off when he realized he wasn’t ready for a new relationship.
He told them that he’d considered calling frequently, but that he was broken beyond repair and didn’t know how to face them.
“I hate that you didn’t think you could face us when you were broken,” Nora breathed.
“I know, Mom.” Paul took her hand. “It was a shameful thing to do.” He promised never to leave her again.
For hours, the three of them talked. They lent each other honesty that they hadn’t known how to give when they’d been a simple family of three.
Isaac explained that he’d been very depressed after Nora moved out, but that he’d joined a climbing gym and a hobby band, and they were going to have their first performance in a few days.
“I’m rediscovering the joy of being myself in a world I don’t really understand,” Isaac explained.
“I guess that’s what we’re all doing,” Paul said. “I guess it’s a lifetime pursuit?’
“It never stops,” Isaac agreed.
They sat in silence for a moment, watching as a beautiful summer storm rolled over the water, preparing to roll over the city.
Nora felt safe and protected in a way she hadn’t in ages.
But she knew it was temporary, that the three of them would have to move on to the worlds they’d built.
She knew they’d have to find a way to say “see you later,” no matter how much it hurt.
Six months later, Max moved in with Nora.
Nantucket Island was blizzard-y, lined with bluffs of snow, but inside Nora’s bungalow, it was warm, with leftover bits from Christmas in every corner.
Even the tree was still up, as it was artificial, and it added a bit of cheer to the darkest of island days.
On the first night of their official sleepover as “roommates,” they danced in the kitchen to a Billie Holiday song and kissed till the light bulb above them flickered, then went out.
They laughed.
“Is that a bad omen?” Max asked, hurrying to find a replacement.
Nora said she thought it was a good sign. “It means we can handle whatever life throws at us,” she said.
“That we can!” Max grinned.
After Max fixed the light bulb, they collapsed on the living room sofa to watch the snow fall, sipping a glass of wine and nibbling on a platter of cookies.
Nora reflected on the past six months, about the friendships she’d made with the Salt Sisters and the beautiful relationship she’d formed with Max.
She considered Paul’s visits to the island, how at ease he’d seemed with Max.
In late autumn, Isaac had brought his new girlfriend to Nantucket, and she and Max had welcomed them both, barbecuing despite an impending rainstorm and laughing over bottles of wine throughout the night.
Mona, too, had brought her children to the island three times already.
Mona and Max’s relationship was one of boisterous laughter, as though they wanted to catch up on being playful siblings.
Max’s other siblings had been eager to meet her, as well, and they’d all caught up a week or so before Christmas, exchanging stories about the father that Mona had never gotten to know.
“Did it all really happen?” Nora asked now, lifting her head to peer up at Max. Her heart ached with how much she loved him and how much she loved to hear him laugh, reason through an argument, or tell a joke.
Max kissed the top of her head. “If it’s all a dream, I’ll wake up and make sure it all happens just like this,” he said. “It’s the most beautiful life I’ve ever known. I can’t believe I get to share it with you.”