Chapter 23
My breath faltered.Sixteen years. Ethan had been forced to survive someone like Max for sixteen years? And as a child? I hugged him tight. One hug couldn’t erase his pain, but I wanted it to. Until I realised how inappropriate hugging him was. Just because he had posed as my partner didn’t mean I had the right to touch him like that or any other way. I pulled away.
“What are you going to do now?” he asked.
I shrugged. “My first reaction is to run.”
I searched his face. The mask was back; I couldn’t read him. His one moment of vulnerability was gone.
“Do you want to do that?” he asked.
I sighed. “No. We have a good life here.”
He nodded. “Do you think Max has changed?”
“I’d like to think he has, for the children’s sake. But I don’t know.”
“People like Max rarely change.”
How many times had his dad promised to change and then disappointed them? Max had promised so many times. In the end, he believed it more than I did.
“Above all, I need to protect Bailey and Rose. I’ll call my solicitor on Monday to get advice. I’m not going to deal with him directly. It’s too risky for me and the children if he hasn’t changed. If he’s serious, he’ll do what he has to, starting with following my solicitor’s instructions.” I stood up. I took a shallow breath and made eye contact with him before saying, “We’ll need to pretend to be in a relationship all the time. You never know when he’ll be watching.”
Ethan grinned. And damn, it was charming.
“Shouldn’t be hard. You put me in my place enough. And you’ve already told people I’m your husband.”
I blushed. I didn’t think he’d heard me. “I, ah, I was just trying to get those women to back off.”
Ethan cocked his head. “Jealous, were you?”
“No.” My reply was so quick I even doubted it. I opened the door, but Ethan didn’t move to follow me. “Are you coming?”
“I’m going to check the windows and doors first.”
“Thank you.”
He walked down the stairs, and while the view was nice, I had to admit, he was more than sex on legs. There were so many layers behind the one he presented to the world. A pain he hid down deep. Pain that now may be exposed because he chose to stand with me against Max. The risk he was taking for me, for us, was huge.
“If you change your mind, it’s OK.”
“I won’t.” He was firm in his answer. I believed him.
Tonight was going to be restless for more than one reason. What would dominate my thoughts? Max’s sudden reappearance or Ethan being my fake boyfriend?
* * *
The next morning,Ethan walked into the kitchen and glanced at the children, who sat quietly at the table, before coming to stand beside me.
“Coffee?” I asked.
“Yes, please.”
I yawned.
“Didn’t sleep well?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think they did either.”
“Makes four of us then.”
Rose’s trauma bear sat in her lap. A police officer had given it to her the day Max tried to abduct them. For a year, she’d slept with the bear every night and carted it with her everywhere. From then until last night, it had sat on her bedhead watching over her.
I added some extra coffee to the cup. “I’d like to take the kids to school today so I can explain what’s happening to the principal.”
Ethan took the cup from my hand. My fingers lingered. I needed to feel his steadiness. Yesterday, I’d scrambled away from his touch. Today I was seeking it out. I withdrew my hand. My tired brain was confusing fear for connection.
“And I’d like to make contact with the police. The restraining order has run out, but I’d like them to be aware of what’s happening in case I need to reapply.”
“I’ll cover the morning tour,” Ethan said.
“Thank you. That will give me time to speak to their bus driver as well.” I put bread in the toaster for Bailey and Rose. “It will be your first tour on your own.”
Ethan gave me a lopsided smile. “How will I ever cope without my wife?”
“I’m sure you are fully capable.”
Ethan was capable of many things, making me feel safe and supported were two of them.
“So are you. You’re a great mom, Jasmine. Trust your instincts.”
There he went again with the compliments.
My instincts were telling me to trust Ethan. But the whirlpool of feelings had returned, sucking me into it, confusing me. Were my feelings real, or a product of my fears? Would my instincts keep me safe or lead to further pain?