Chapter 43
The sun was streamingthrough the window. I was lying in Ethan’s arms. For two weeks we’d slept like this. For two weeks he hadn’t pushed me to do anything more than kiss. He never asked why, never asked if I was ready now, didn’t try to coerce me. I’m sure he wanted sex. His body told me so every time we kissed, but he never forced himself on me.
This was new. Everything in this relationship felt new. I could rely on him. I knew I didn’t have to face Max alone, that Ethan would be by my side. And it wasn’t through obligation. Maybe at the beginning it had been, but I didn’t feel that obligation anymore. He wanted to be here with us. And every day our time together shortened.
Ethan stirred. He looked peaceful in sleep. Perfect. Who was I kidding? He looked perfect all the time. I sounded like a lovesick fool. Love. I did love him. I loved him for all he allowed me to be. And I loved him for all that he wanted to be.
Ethan’s eyes opened and he looked at the clock. 6.30am. Still time before the kids got up. He pulled me in close and kissed the top of my head.
That wasn’t enough for me today. Today I wanted to love Ethan with my body. I kissed along his jawline and then found his lips. My whole body leapt into life. I rolled on top of him, wanting to feel him everywhere. The kiss deepened and I nudged my tongue into his mouth. His low moan urged me on. His large hands cupped my arse and pulled me closer. His erection pushed against me. I rolled off so I could touch it.
I pulled down the top of his underwear and wrapped my hand around his thick shaft, ready to stroke. I paused. It was bigger than I expected. I’d felt it many times over the past few nights, pressed against me, but the clothes between us had belied its actual size. I started stroking.
He tore his lips away from mine. “Fuck,” he groaned.
I wished we could. But it was too risky this time of morning. Even this was pushing our luck.
I held his dick firmly and pumped. “Later,” I whispered.
“What?” he half moaned.
Just the sound of his voice, how he had lost a measure of control, made my stomach squeeze and my underwear wet. I listened for the children. There was no movement. But it didn’t mean it would stay that way. I wanted sex. I was ready for sex…right now. But we couldn’t.
Ethan moaned again, and a shiver shot through me.
“Later.” I licked the skin under his ear as I pushed my breasts against him. “You can fuck me later.”
His breathing hitched. I sucked on his neck and licked the salt from my lips. My hand didn’t slow. He clutched at the sheets as his hips stiffened.
“Fuck,” he grunted out as he exploded in my hand. His hips bucked. His dick jerked as he emptied himself out. I didn’t stop until he lowered his hips and relaxed beneath me. There was cum all over my hand and his stomach. He lay beside me, breathing harshly.
I wiped my hand on the sheet. “Lucky it’s sheet washing day.”
He looked at me and gave me a slow grin. “It’ll be sheet day again tomorrow if we get to do what you suggested.”
I could hardly wait.
* * *
“Got your bags packed?”I asked Rose as she came into the living area.
She clapped her hands. “Yep. Lily made us matching sleep shirts.”
“Did she just?”
“Wanna see?” She brought her iPad over. Four shirts were on display. Each had their names—Jack, Lily, Bailey and Rose, a sleeping koala and the slogan Sleep Over Crew.
“Cute.”
“Do you think she’ll let us wear them to the bonfire?”
“Ask her.”
Rose tapped away on her iPad. She cheered and ran off to see Bailey. I assumed she had gotten the response she wanted. She was back in a flash with Bailey in tow. I wasn’t sure how keen he’d be wearing the shirt to the bonfire. But he wouldn’t protest if Jack wore his.
“Can we go now?” Rose asked.
I shook my head. “Ethan is getting changed.”
“Can’t we just walk to the shop by ourselves?”
I couldn’t let them. Who knew where Max was. He must be due for a visit again. It had been two weeks. Maybe he was here already. Bailey sat on the couch doing a good job of pretending not to be bothered. He knew the answer.
“Ethan won’t be long,” I said. “Is your bed made, Rose? You know Timmy doesn’t like to sleep on a messy bed.”
“Yes. And I made Bailey’s too. Boys are so messy.”
Bailey rolled his eyes. “My side of the room is cleaner than yours.”
“That’s because my side is Timmy’s side too.”
“Because Timmy has so much stuff.” His sarcasm was undeniable.
“He makes it messy.” Rose pouted.
“Mum just said he doesn’t like mess, so why would he make it messy?”
“He just does.”
Nine-year-old logic didn’t make sense. This argument could escalate at any moment. Rose and Bailey glared at each other, locked in silent battle.
“Are we ready, team?” Ethan asked, oblivious to what he had just walked into. When he didn’t get an answer, he glanced between them. He must have summed up what was happening in a millisecond. Without engaging, he headed for the door.
“I’m ready,” I said, following him.
One. Two. Bailey was behind me.
“Wait,” Rose called out. “I forgot to give Timmy a kiss.”
Ethan laughed and waited for her beside the door. As soon as she came out, she grabbed her chair and headed off with Bailey.
“Don’t worry, we’ll take your bags,” I called after them.
Ethan and I walked hand in hand down the road. It wasn’t pretend this time. We weren’t putting on a show. And I liked it. We set our chairs up and sat down. I scanned the area. Was this what it was always going to be like? Would I always be looking for Max in the shadows?
“I’m going to grab a beer. Do you want one?” Ethan asked.
“Yes, please.” As he walked over to Ross and Jay, my gaze strayed to his butt, appreciating how his shorts moved over it. My hands could be doing that later. I bit my lip.
Lily cleared her throat as she sat beside me. “So you don’t hide your perving anymore?”
I blushed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She gave me a knowing smile. “That’s not the only thing that’s changed, is it?”
“No.” So much had changed in a few short weeks. “I—” Where was I going to start? “I didn’t think I would feel this way about someone.” I glanced at Ethan. He was watching me. My stomach lifted. Then he smiled and my whole being was captured in it.
“And what do you feel exactly?” Lily said.
I shrugged, bringing my attention back to her. The answer was too hard to put into words. “Content. Supported. Respected.” I hesitated, unsure how to continue, but Lily waited patiently. “At first it was all about pretending, to protect the children. We faked our relationship.” She already knew this, so why was I telling her again? Probably so I could work through it all with her.
“And now?”
“I’m not pretending.”
“I’m not sure you ever were.”
I considered her. I couldn’t confirm or deny what she said. All I knew was what I felt now. Ironic, really, that I had Max to thank for this. Ethan and I may have gotten here eventually, but he forced us into it sooner. At least I could have more time with him as a partner before he left.
Ethan approached, his smile only for me, as if we had all the time in the world.
Lily patted my hand and got up to leave. “Make the most of your time together.”
I would indeed. Starting tonight.