Chapter 11 Katelyn
Katelyn
By the time I’ve managed to finish cleaning up after dinner, I’m so exhausted I can barely see straight.
I yawn and cover my mouth as thunder rattles the windows just outside.
The news says this could be the worst storm we’ve seen all season, and I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that it’s got me nervous.
Thomas can’t be bothered, though, as he sits on the couch, playing his video game, a big smile spreading over his face when he scores a goal for his team.
I can’t help but smile, too. He’s so happy here. Of all the places we’ve lived over the course of his thirteen years, this has been the best place for him. He’s made actual friends, joined the baseball team, and as of this week, his grades are finally where they are supposed to be.
As always, that sick churning in my stomach begins because, if I’ve learned anything over the last few years, it’s that this peace won’t last forever.
Eventually, the ghosts of my past will catch up to us, and no matter what I’ve promised myself, I also know I won’t remain somewhere he’s not safe.
I can’t risk him—not even for his own happiness.
I’ll be forced to rip him away from everything he loves here, all while coming up with some half-excuse as to why because the truth would absolutely wreck my sweet boy. And I can’t do that.
Not now.
Eventually, he’ll learn the truth. But right now, I want him to continue growing without that weight on his shoulders.
“I’m going to take the trash out; then we can do dessert. Sound good?” I say.
“I’ve got it.” He tosses his controller down and jumps over the back of the couch. After planting a kiss on my cheek, he heads straight for the garbage can.
“Really? That easy?” I arch a brow playfully. Truth is, he’s always been so incredibly helpful.
“I’ll do anything for you, Mom, you know that. Besides—” He trails off and pulls the bag from the can. “This gives you more time to make the sundaes.” He sticks out his tongue and heads for the door while I laugh behind him.
So happy.
Whole.
Why can’t it stay like this forever?
As he runs the trash down the hall to the trash chute, I pull out two bowls and the ice cream I grabbed on my way home today. After scooping some into a bowl, I start to top it with chocolate and whipped cream.
But the sound of a deep, muffled voice outside has my heart rate spiking. I toss the can to the side and sprint across the apartment.
No.
It can’t be. We’re safe here, right?
I rip the door open, ready for a fight, and the panic in my chest dies instantly, replaced by attraction as I meet the gaze of the handsome neighbor that I’ve been trying really hard to distance myself from. I’d been doing well, too, until yesterday when I ran into him at the beach.
Seeing him standing there before me, the golden sunlight bringing out the olive tones of his skin, is an image that’s been with me ever since.
“Hey, Mom, look who I found,” Thomas says with a smile. The trash is no longer in his hand. “He was just coming home, and I told him we had plenty of sundae stuff if he was interested.”
Garrison’s gaze never leaves mine as he steps into the doorway wearing the same dark jeans he had on earlier. His jacket is unzipped, revealing a blue button-down shirt that’s open just enough to see a bit of dark chest hair.
My stomach twists, and heat spreads through my body. I swallow hard. “Yeah, we definitely do. Have plenty,” I add.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose,” Garrison says. His tone is neutral, but his expression is anything but. I just can’t bring myself to look too closely at what’s reflected in those dark, gorgeous depths.
“Not imposing at all,” Thomas says, clearly oblivious to what’s transpiring between me and this SEAL during this silent moment.
Why me? Why him? Why now? How can he affect me this way?
How can he make me feel like the only woman alive, even as I know anything between us would be a major mistake?
How can a simple look from him erase all of the fear I’ve carried at the mere thought of a relationship with any man after what I went through?
“Not at all,” I agree, plastering a smile on my face. “Come on in.” I hold the door open so he and Thomas can come inside.
“Are you sure?” he asks when he pauses near the door, his voice low and deep. “I really can just go home.”
A shiver runs through me that has nothing to do with fear or cold, but a soul-deep attraction that has me desperate and terrified of being around him. He’s the peace and the storm.
The calm and the chaos.
“Don’t be silly,” I reply. “It’s just ice cream.” I smile at him, hoping that he can’t see past the mask I’ve so clearly slipped on.
The moment between us on the beach yesterday has my emotions toward him already charged. Especially since he had a front row seat to my momentary panic when that guy was running toward us on the beach.
Garrison offers me a curt nod, then moves into the apartment. I close the door behind him and head into the kitchen to prep another bowl, all while Thomas grabs a second controller and gets it set up to teach Garrison how to play.
Seeing them sitting side by side on the couch sends my pulse racing as the same fears I had seeing them together at the diner hit me full force.
What if he gets too close to Thomas?
What if my son gets hurt worse when we have to leave because he’s attached to Garrison?
What if—Calm your mind, Katelyn.
Lord, please take these anxious thoughts. Please shield my heart and mind, God. I am spiraling, and I know You have a plan. Please help me focus on it. I pray this in the name of Jesus, amen.
I take a deep breath, then nearly jump out of my skin when Thomas lets loose a cheer loud enough to compete with the thunder just outside.
Get. It. Together.
After topping all three bowls with chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and a cherry, I carry them into the living room, balancing one of them on my upper arm just as I do when carrying plates at the diner.
“Dessert is served,” I announce with a smile, then hand Thomas the first bowl before taking the one in my other hand and offering it to Garrison.
Our fingers brush, and warmth shoots through me. It’s stupid—this reaction I’m having to him. Like I’m some foolish teenage girl unburdened by what’s happened to me, simply excited about the cute boy next door.
Unfortunately, I know all too well what happened to kill that girl in me. It haunts me every time I close my eyes.
“Thank you so much for this,” Garrison says as he takes a bite. “It’s delicious.”
“You’re welcome, and thank you.”
“Mom makes the best sundaes.” Thomas sets his controller down and flips the TV channel to a show he’s been watching for the last few weeks.
And as the three of us sit there, enjoying sundaes and watching a television show together, it takes everything in me to remain seated instead of grabbing my son and running as fast as I can.
“You excited for baseball camp?”
“Oh yeah.” Thomas beams at Garrison. “I seriously cannot wait. Coach said how we perform at camp plays a huge part in the lineup for the fall season.”
“Is this your first time playing?”
Thomas nods. “I wanted to play before, but I didn’t get the chance.
” His joy dies down just a bit, and hearing that disappointment cements that promise I made to myself: I have to do whatever I can to keep us here in Stormwatch Landing.
Even if it means facing down the darkness in my past. Who knows, maybe this place is just far enough off the map that it won’t be able to find us.
“I played baseball in high school, too. Loved it.”
“Really?” Thomas’s eyes get so big it’s almost comical.
“Yeah, I—” The power flickers and dies, plunging the apartment into darkness.
My heart catches in my throat, and the bowl in my now-trembling hand clatters to the floor. Logically, I know it’s the storm.
Logically, I know I’m safe—especially with Garrison here.
But that fear slips in so quickly that I don’t have any time for logic.
I’m thrown back into a dark closet. Pitch black with nothing but my own tears to keep me company while I waited for the inevitable fist.
“Oh man. Hang on.” Someone shifts on the couch, and a light illuminates the room seconds later. “Katelyn?”
But my gaze is on the balcony—and the dark shadow standing just outside the closed patio doors.
I scramble to my feet, grabbing Thomas and pulling him up with me. I shove him behind me and back as far away as I can, the scream dying in my throat. No. He can’t have him.
“Mom, what’s going on?” Thomas’ tone is terrified, but I’m locked on the shadow.
“Katelyn, what is it?” Garrison is right there in front of me, concern etched on his handsome face.
But with the next flash of lightning…the figure is gone.
“I—sorry, I was just caught off guard.” But my voice is barely above a whisper, a tormented lie that seeps into my chest and remains there, a weight I can’t shake off. “Thomas, can you grab the candles from your room?”
“Sure thing, Mom.” Even he seems nervous as he pulls out his own phone and uses the flashlight to guide himself down the hall.
“What is it, Katelyn?” Garrison asks, keeping his tone low. “Something is wrong. Talk to me.”
He doesn’t touch me, and for that, I’m grateful. Because if he did, he’d be able to feel just how badly I’m shaking. I saw something…didn’t I? Was it just a trick of my mind, or was someone really out there?
Has our time run out?
“Nothing. I just—it scared me, is all.”
“Tell—”
“Got the candles!” Thomas announces as he strolls back into the living room. He sets them down, so I busy myself grabbing the lighter from on top of my TV stand, then light both candles.
Flickering flames dance off the walls of the living room.
Outside, the storm picks up as rain begins to fall in heavy sheets, battering the windows as wind sends it flying into the side of the building.
With the light, I can breathe a little easier, but that’s only if I force my attention away from the man watching my every move. He sees too much.
Way too much. What was I thinking, letting him in?
“Whoa. Crazy storm,” Thomas says as he crosses over toward the patio doors.
“No! Get back!” I start toward him before I realize that my reaction was not normal, and both Thomas and Garrison know it. They turn to me.
“You okay, Mom? It’s just a storm.” Thomas questions.
Fake it ’til you make it. Deep breaths, Katelyn. “I know, honey. The wind is just strong. You should stay inside.” I force a smile. “Besides, you should be getting ready for bed. Storm or not, you need sleep so you can get up and get ready for school. One week left until camp.”
He rolls his eyes. “Ugh, fine. Thanks for coming and hanging with us, Mr. Holt.”
“You’re welcome.” Garrison offers my son his hand to shake, then retrieves his bowl and carries it into the kitchen while I watch Thomas walk down toward the bedroom.
There’s no access to it—unless someone wants to climb the side of the building.
Otherwise, I honestly don’t think I would have let him leave my sight.
Truthfully, it’s safer in there than it is in here.
If someone was out there, they’d have to go through me first.
Breathe, Katelyn. You are safe. It was just a trick of your mind. There’s no way someone is out there. Not in this weather.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Garrison asks. “I can stick around, sleep on the couch.”
No, you can’t, because that’s where I sleep. “I’m okay. Thanks for the offer, though.” To demonstrate just how “okay” I am with him leaving, I cross over and pull open the door. The hallway is pitch black aside from the faint glow of the EXIT sign over the stairwell.
Garrison pulls out his phone before stepping out and turning back to face me. The desperation on his face is clear as a sunny afternoon, even in the darkness of our current situation. “I’m here if you need me, Katelyn.”
As he says it, the electricity flashes back on, fully illuminating the worry on his face.
“I know, thanks. See you later.” With a smile, I gently close and lock the door, then lean back against it as I stare out at the patio.
Another flash of lightning illuminates it, reinforcing the idea that I imagined the shadowy figure I saw out there.
Still, there’s a gnawing in my gut that it wasn’t my imagination and that this is just the beginning of what will inevitably be another relocation for Thomas and me, despite my earlier resolve to remain firmly planted right here.